We often blog sillier, less exciting celebrity news than usual on Friday because it’s not typically a great day for hot goss. But today’s silliest celebrity news is also its best, and would fit in wonderfully on any day of this week. This is Wednesday-level, actually—a 10 out of 10—and it just so happens to be about one of the most enviable Hollywood couples: Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn. In an interview with Harry Connick Jr.

Responding to a comment that “reported rapes are the only rapes that count,” 20-year-old Abigail Breslin chronicled in an Instagram post the reasons she decided to not to come forward, and the emotional aftershocks of that traumatic experience. At the time, Breslin was in a relationship with her alleged rapist. Consequently, she worried that reporting the abuse would further endanger her and, for that matter, that no one would believe her.

That’s a GIF of Katie Couric on Monday night’s Watch What Happens Live at the precise moment she realized someone called in to ask about the big ol’ Tamron Hall/Megyn Kelly-related mess happening at Today, the show where she worked for 15 years. “Have you had an opportunity to talk to Tamron about the changes?” the caller asked just as Couric’s face dropped.

Here’s a nice story about Amy Schumer, an emergency bathroom stop and a $2,000 good deed. As Peopletells it, Amy Schumer was going for a jog in Chicago when she found herself in a situation we all have been in — she desperately had to use the restroom but couldn’t find a suitable place to do so. Instead of going into a Starbucks or whatever, she ran into the first place she found, which was a mattress store called Six Corners Mattress Firm.

Ed Sheeran, a man who is either the enemy or a ginger troubadour responsible for a song that I can’t help singing along to even though I hate myself for it, has a lot of bad tattoos. Here’s a pleasant story about his most recent addition. Sheeran filmed the video for the song in Galway, with Saoirse Ronan playing the girl in question.

OK, so there’s this guy named Jim Hart who just wrote a memoir. I don’t know much about him (beyond the fact that he used to be married to Carly Simon), but he claims to have been good friends with Jackie Kennedy Onassis back in the day, and his Just Kids-looking book—which has an introduction by Carl Bernstein and a blurb from a Kennedy on its cover—looks legit.

Prince’s unexpected death last summer was determined an accidental overdose on the opioid fentanyl. Six days preceding his death, Prince overdosed on a plane, and had to be revived at a hospital following an emergency landing. Search warrants issued for Paisley Park, Prince’s Minnesota residence, have just been unsealed, revealing what seems to have been a complicated system intended to funnel narcotics to the beloved icon.

Harpursville, New York got more attention than it’s probably seen in years after its most famous resident gave birth this morning. The event was livestreamed, and at its peak, no less than five million viewers tuned in. But this was no ordinary birth to some damp human baby. The pregnant mother was April, a giraffe living in Animal Adventure Park a couple hours north of New York City, and her baby plopped out just fine.

Sound the alarms. Ring the bells. The thing we all knew was coming has finally happened: Jennifer Garner has officially filed for divorce from Ben Affleck. Thankfully, the divorce sounds like it was very, very amicable. TMZ reports that Jen and Ben filed together without a lawyer. Both are asking for joint legal and physical custody of their three children and they’re leaving the spousal support piece of the puzzle open so that the judge can decide before the case is settled.

I clicked on this bit of gossip about sporting man Aaron Rodgers’s “drastic changes” in the wake of his breakup with Olivia Munn expecting it to be a little more salacious than what I found, which was simply evidence of a man trying to live his goddamn life. Since the football season’s over and he and Olivia are done, he’s been hanging around L.A., and indulging in what sounds like some Aaron-time.