Teen trends come and go. One day the kids are into Myspace and then it’s Snapchat. Pop punk fades into meme rap. But what’s the one thing teens will never stop loving and being exceptionally good at? Being Goth AF. In a stunning move of Goth AF teendom, 17-year-old Megan Flaherty, who I’ve decided to adopt as my daughter immediately upon starting this post, rolled up to her Pennsauken High School prom in a wooden coffin. And the coffin was in a hearse.

Katy Perry’s new album will reportedly have more “purposeful pop” inspired by the 2016 election, but what it won’t have is apparently any sort of response to Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood.” You might remember the insufferable cheerleader pop track as being the diss song Swift wrote about Perry after she allegedly tried to sabotage Swift’s tour by stealing her dancers and also started dating her ex, John Mayer.

Let’s revisit some of the many ways love has been described by wordsmiths over the years: Love is a many splendid thing. To love another person is to see the face of God. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is blindness. Love is an open door. Love is all around. Love is a smoke and is made with the fume of sighs. Love is a growing up. Love means never having to say you’re sorry.

This photo of a baby clutching a Mirena IUD implant has gone viral, probably because it implies he ripped it out as he exited the uterus, then waved it in a triumphant “FU” to his mom for trying to avoid an unplanned pregnancy. It is staged. I hope. According to Metro UK, Lucy Hellein had her IUD inserted and then likely became pregnant just days later. This was her third Mirena, and she says the last two “worked great.

This season of MTV’s The Challenge is down to the final competition and Tuesday night’s episode saw a pair of contestants fail at basic math in the most tragic fashion. This team should win just for losing so badly. Let me preface this by saying, while my math skills were quite formidable in elementary and high school, much of that knowledge has faded over the years. However, simple concepts like division and percentages should (hopefully) come easy to anyone over the age of 10.

I don’t spend much time thinking about R. Kelly these days except for when I hear “Ignition” at the grocery store or whatever and find myself singing along because I can’t help it. Since I’m sure you’re waiting with bated breath to hear what he’s up to, here’s a quick update: he’s being sued for damaged caused by an affair he allegedly had with a sheriff’s deputy in Mississippi. Hinds County Deputy Kenny Bryant is suing R.

In an uncharacteristically emotional opening to his late-night talk show Monday evening, Jimmy Kimmel shared a story about his son William’s very recent battle with heart disease and invasive surgery. By “very recent” I mean this all happened in the past two weeks—when the child was just days old.

I’m writing this morning’s Dirt Bag while watching Kelly Ripa running through the backstage area of her show’s set, as though late for work. “Don’t be nervous,” she’s telling me, the TV audience. “This is gonna be great.” Ripa is in such a strange mood today because she’s about to announce her new co-host LIVE on television after nearly a year of hosting solo.

In an interview with Andy Cohen on his SiriusXM show (honestly how does this man find the time), Caitlyn Jenner revealed that she has not spoken to her stepdaughter Khloe Kardashian “in, like, two years.” “She doesn’t wanna talk to me,” Jenner said, adding: “I was very very close to Khloé, I mean I had 23 years of raising her. I met Khloe when she was 5 years old. [...] Of course it hurts...She was on Howard Stern and called me a liar.

Serena Williams, American treasure and the greatest living athlete according to this person who does not follow sports at all, announced her pregnancy on Snapchat last week to the surprise and delight of her many fans. Not only is she expecting a child with her Reddit co-founder fiancé, she proved that pregnancy couldn’t stop her from winning her 23rd Grand Slam! I don’t even know what a grand slam is but am certain it’s an incredible feat.