Dr. Kay Daigle

Dr. Sue Edwards

In this second video in the series Leaders, Survive and Thrive in Conflict, Dr. Sue Edwards discusses women's tendencies in conflict with Dr. Kay Daigle.

Knowing our womanly inclinations when confronted with conflict enables us to practice good peacemaking that will serve us well in such situations. As leaders, there will be times when conflict arises within our church or organization, and we need to deal with it well. Learning about women's tendencies in conflict will also help any of us to overcome our usual reactions and follow Jesus as peacemakers.

After all, Jesus values them as he said in the Beatitudes, "Blessed are the peacemakers for they will be called children of God" (Matt. 5:9, NET).

If you missed the first episode, access Get Ready for Conflict, Leaders.  Or watch all episodes on video.

Recommended resources

Oletha Barnett's podcast series, Fight Right: 1. The Nature of Conflict, 2. Biblical Resolution 3. Accepting Other's Differences. All are also available on video.

All BOW videos on dealing with conflict

Book:  Leading Women Who Wound: Strategies for an Effective Ministry by Sue Edwards & Kelley Mathews

Elizabeth Woodson's short Leader Tip: Tell the Truth

This episode is also available on video.

Timestamps:

00:16 Introductions

00:58 What research shows

06:57 Women live in a relational web.

10:59 Approaching conflict with grace & strength

TranscriptKay >> Hi. I'm Kay Daigle of Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries. And I'm welcoming you to this second video in our series on conflict with Dr. Sue Edwards. Our series is really focused toward leaders, and Sue is giving us some tips on how to survive and thrive through conflict as leaders. In the first video, we just talked about being ready, being prepared, that conflict is going to happen.

And Sue shared some of her own personal experiences with conflict as I have. And in this one we're going to talk about women's tendencies in conflict because women have some tendencies that are a little bit different from the way men might handle conflict. As I told you in the first video, you can read Sue's full bio on our website as she is an Associate Professor at Dallas Seminary.

And we are so thankful that she gave us the time to talk about this. So Sue in your experience, in your research, what can you tell us about women in conflict?

Sue >> Well, I think, first of all, I would give a warning that we don't want to put everybody in the same box, that stereotypes are dangerous and misleading. But there are some tendencies that are real, and I've experienced them. You probably have as well. And as women and women leaders particularly we just need to be aware.

Kay >> Some of them will apply to the leaders themselves.

Sue >> Yes. Yes.

Kay >> And if you're a leader, you need to know what your tendencies are.

Sue >> Exactly. And you need to know that as a leader, often you're working with men. So if you don't understand how you may come at this differently, then you will possibly have some real problems. So this is helpful just to be aware.

Kay >> I think of the story you told in the last video that the executive pastor gave you 15 minutes to mediate an entire conflict. That's a man's tendency isn't it?

Sue >> Yes, and he ended up having to—then we had three or four more sessions as a result because there was no possible way because we were in this personally. That's something that we see Janet Lever has done research on children's playgrounds and she has spent large blocks of time watching children play together. And what she has observed is that the little boys will come together, and when there is a conflict, they will get into it physically and verbally. Then they'll be rolling in the dirt, and they'll be really going after each other.

But she's watching and the next day, they're fine. They don't hold on to this at all. It's just a way to work things out.