Work Mom Says®, Don't Be An Idiot!

In episode 18 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) and Chrissie Zavicar as we dig into the topic of sobriety. Chrissie is the CEO of E-Link Consulting and is outspoken about her sobriety journey. 

We explore multiple facets of sobriety from the common fears of becoming “boring” when you quit to the healthy ways to cope with your trauma.

• Using alcohol to numb feelings temporarily rather than process them.
• Calling yourself an alcoholic vs addicted to alcohol
• Your trauma doesn’t go away when you walk into work
• Healthy ways to cope and heal from trauma and alcohol addictions
• The benefits of somatic therapy

Expert Guest: Chrissie Zavicar 

Title: CEO of e-link Consulting and CEO of First and Sober

What She Does: As the CEO of e-link Consulting, Chrissie leads workshops for LinkedIn Profile Optimization for individuals and teams. Chrissie is also the CEO of First and Sober, a newsletter about her journey with sobriety.

Connect: You can find Chrissie on LinkedIn and on her website.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

6:08 – Numbing instead of processing: We numb ourselves with alcohol to make our stress go away temporarily rather than processing it in a healthy way.

9:15 – Examining your shame: working through feelings of shame and trauma can be extremely difficult, but it’s important to get yourself into a healthy space to really feel those emotions. 

13:50 – Samuel L Jackson and his sobriety: When he was getting sober, he was concerned that he wouldn’t be as good of an actor, but in reality, the opposite was true.

16:10 Peer Pressure: Anyone who pressures others to drink does not have a healthy relationship with alcohol.

22:42 – Yoga for healing: We disconnect from our body when we try to numb our feelings with alcohol. Yoga is a great way to pay attention to your body and reconnect your mind and body.

23:49 – The Body Keeps the Score: In this book, they did brain scans of Vietnam veterans and other people with trauma. They mapped their brains while reading them accounts of their own traumatic experiences. They found that when you’re triggered, your brain believes that you are actually back in that situation.

5:50 – “But in reality it’s numbing out from whatever’s causing the stress. So instead of sitting there saying why am I stressed, what’s going on, why am I having such a hard time and processing that, let’s just make it go away temporarily.”

11:00 – “I actually think that does a lot of people a disservice because it’s a great excuse for people to be able to say, ‘well I’m not an alcoholic. I don’t look like the guy on the street with a paper bag who’s stumbling around and doesn’t have a home to go to. That’s an alcoholic. I’m not an alcoholic.’”

12:28 – “I think that’s the thing people don’t realize is that you’re using an addictive substance and the more you use it, the more your body gets used to it, so you need more. You don’t need to be quote unquote born an alcoholic to develop a drinking problem. You can develop a drinking problem just by continually drinking.”

14:46 – “I knew that if I continued drinking, I would not reach my potential as an entrepreneur, as a business owner. My productivity was crap. My focus was bad, and I knew in the back of my mind if I don’t stop this I’m never going to be as good as I can be.”

23:35 – “If you research actual trauma, talk therapy does not help real trauma.”

24: 44 – “These studies say that when you’re triggered, your brain believes you’re actually back in that situation.”

29:11 – “You don’t become a different person just because you walk into your office. You’re still carrying all your past baggage of all of these things, but there’s this expectation to just leave it on the doorstep, and it doesn’t work that way.”

We do this podcast for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience. We also do it to help them experience less drama and more success. 

The ideal listener to me is anyone who is struggling at work with emotion management and anyone who’s struggling on an emotional level in the workplace. Honestly, that happens to all of us at some point. We get all knotted up about something. Someone was nasty to you in the parking lot before you went into work, so you’re a little anxious to start. The person that you sit next to gives you a dirty look  or slams their office drawer. There’s just all these things that happen in your life day to day, and they create an emotional response. 

At work, we’re expected to be logical. How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic. What we talk about on Work Mom Says has a lot to do with being strategic at work, being able to look at the big picture, not getting lost in the weeds. I tell people to back up, you put down the magnifying glass, look at the big picture when you’re responding to something. In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week. 

Being crabby, saying something negative to somebody at the office, or putting a snarky comment in an email isn’t really productive because from a strategic point of view, it’s all irrelevant. You should be looking at it from a logical perspective. Some of that involves framing, reframing, and being attentive to what you want your end goal for the situation.

Listening to Work Mom Says is a really good way to grow your personal mood management skills, to grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view so that it’s easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

When emotions go up, logic goes down. So, when you can keep your emotions steady and stable, and not grab a hold of that feeling of angst and make it worse, you’re going to be more logical in what you do. You’re going to make fewer mistakes. You’re going to be more productive overall. You’re going to have stronger relationships.

Another value I think people get out of this is learning to create connected positive relationships that last over time. That’s not always easy. A lot of what we talk about on Work Mom Says involves being able to create connected positive relationships and work environments, so that people want you on the team. You become an asset, and when you’re an asset, you’re going to be more successful.

I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind.

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business, and I had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there is to make. I don’t hold myself out there as any kind of stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised and battered and beaten up and learned some really important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot that I was, and I was an idiot. However, I learned so much, and it’s really rewarding to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner. 

I also want to help them realize that a lot of things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office, so you can succeed. 

Episode 18 – “How to Work for an Idiot” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 18 – “Sober is the New Black” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

Do you work for an idiot boss? In episode 17 on Work Mom Says, Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) offers some tips and tricks for surviving and thriving under an idiot boss. From learning how to “finesse” people to staying strategic and out of workplace drama, we help you get the most out of working for an idiot boss without losing your mind.

• Everyone can be perceived as an idiot
• Idiot engineering and learning how to “finesse” people
• Lori tells a story of an idiot boss
• How to stay strategic and look at this job as a stepping stone to something else
• The cost-benefit analysis of staying vs leaving

Timestamped inflection points from the show

1:31 – Reframing your idiot boss: Choose to view your idiot boss as a person with good qualities and faults rather than just an idiot.

7:22 – Idiot Engineering: Make your working conditions more conducive to your career growth.

11:28 Don’t make meaning: Rather than make meaning out of an annoying occurrence, can you focus on what you want to accomplish instead? 

12:50 Make them look good: When you do good work and make your idiot boss look good, they will treat you better.

• 2:11 – “Look at someone as a full one hundred percent human being with both wonderful qualities and faults and flaws, just like you, so that compassion can help you reframe that idiot boss and help you see them as people rather than just idiots.” 

• 7:35 – “Even though idiot bosses are inevitable, they are not terminal.”
• 11:40 – “We are meaning-making machines. Something happens, we make a meaning out of it, and then we behave, talk, act based on the meaning that we gave that occurence. So instead, are there things that happen that your boss does that you could just ignore, and focus instead on what you want to accomplish?”
• 13:08 – “They really like it when you compliment them, when you manage their personality, and when you give them what they need. They will think more highly of you”

We do this podcast for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience. We also do it to help them experience less drama and more success. 

The ideal listener to me is anyone who is struggling at work with emotion management and anyone who’s struggling on an emotional level in the workplace. Honestly, that happens to all of us at some point. We get all knotted up about something. Someone was nasty to you in the parking lot before you went into work, so you’re a little anxious to start. The person that you sit next to gives you a dirty look  or slams their office drawer. There’s just all these things that happen in your life day to day, and they create an emotional response. 

At work, we’re expected to be logical. How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic. What we talk about on Work Mom Says has a lot to do with being strategic at work, being able to look at the big picture, not getting lost in the weeds. I tell people to back up, you put down the magnifying glass, look at the big picture when you’re responding to something. In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week. 

Being crabby, saying something negative to somebody at the office, or putting a snarky comment in an email isn’t really productive because from a strategic point of view, it’s all irrelevant. You should be looking at it from a logical perspective. Some of that involves framing, reframing, and being attentive to what you want your end goal for the situation.

Listening to Work Mom Says is a really good way to grow your personal mood management skills, to grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view so that it’s easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

When emotions go up, logic goes down. So, when you can keep your emotions steady and stable, and not grab a hold of that feeling of angst and make it worse, you’re going to be more logical in what you do. You’re going to make fewer mistakes. You’re going to be more productive overall. You’re going to have stronger relationships.

Another value I think people get out of this is learning to create connected positive relationships that last over time. That’s not always easy. A lot of what we talk about on Work Mom Says involves being able to create connected positive relationships and work environments, so that people want you on the team. You become an asset, and when you’re an asset, you’re going to be more successful.

I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind.

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business, and I had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there is to make. I don’t hold myself out there as any kind of stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised and battered and beaten up and learned some really important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot that I was, and I was an idiot. However, I learned so much, and it’s really rewarding to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner. 

I also want to help them realize that a lot of things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office, so you can succeed. 

Episode 17 – “How to Work for an Idiot” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 17 – “How to Work for an Idiot” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

As more employers push to bring employees back in person, they may want to bring play into the office as well. In episode 16 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, we explore the compelling reasons for play at the office and ways to bring play into work sessions. We invited young professional Molly Wagner to join brand strategist Angela Ficorelli in a discussion of all the benefits of playful work.

Angela Ficorelli is a designer and owner of Subtle Design Co. You can find Angela on LinkedIn and on her website.

Molly Wagner is a digital marketing specialist at PopSpeed Digital Marketing LLC, where she creates content and manages social media channels for clients in a variety of industries, including real estate, healthcare, and education. You can find her on LinkedIn. 

Episode 16 – “Play More at Work” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

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Does networking really suck? Or does your attitude toward networking and making new business connections suck? In episode 15 of “Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot!”, we dig into ways you can make networking work for you. In fact, you may actually end up enjoying it after listening. We invited young professional Kiley Transit to join networking coach Wendy Caverly in a discussion of techniques you can use to create more meaningful connections so that attending your next networking event is much, much easier. 

Wendy Caverly works with people of all ages to help them build lasting relationships through the power of networking. You can find her on LinkedIn or on her website.

Kiley Transit is a digital marketing specialist at PopSpeed Digital Marketing LLC, where she creates content and manages social media channels for clients in a variety of industries, including real estate, healthcare, and education. You can find her on LinkedIn. 

Episode 15 – “Networking Sucks: What to Do Instead” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 15 – “Networking Sucks: What to Do Instead” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 14 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) for a conversation about her top 10 bits of career advice she’s gleaned from business coaches. From making friends in your industry to when it’s okay to burn that bridge, Lori shares new ways to think that can help you reach your full potential.

Episode 14 – “Coaches Give the Best Career Advice” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 14 – “Coaches Give the Best Career Advice” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 13 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) and Certified Professional Career Coach Heather Coleman-Voss for a conversation about narcissism at work. They discuss how to recognize and avoid narcissistic bosses, how to strengthen your own defenses, and some red flags and green flags to help you recognize narcs when they show up.

You can reach Heather on her website and on social media @CareerSavvyCoaching.

This podcast references the book, Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker.

Episode 13 – “Narcissism at Work & When to Get Out” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 13 – “Narcissism at Work & When to Get Out” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 12 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, Join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) as she shares her top advice for achieving your goals in 2022. She discusses the strategies that have helped her hold herself accountable, visualize her goals, and create a supportive community.

The post Episode 12 – “The Value of Vision & Community.” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 11 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, Join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) and two seasoned professionals, John Reed of Rain BDM and Laura Khalil of Brave by Design, in a conversation about Idiot Bosses.

The most common question Work Mom gets is “I work for an idiot! How can I make this work?” The answer? Sometimes you can, and sometimes, you can’t. (Or you shouldn’t.)

In this episode, we share stories of idiot bosses, both harmless and harmful, and when it’s simply time to find a new gig for your own protection.

Mentioned in this podcast:

• John Reed of Rain BDM
• Laura Khalil of Brave by Design

The post Episode 11 – “Practice on a Harmless Idiot.” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 10 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, Join Work Mom (Lori Jo Vest) as she discusses the “joy” of accountability and how to get out of your own way so you can get shit done.

Guests Kelli Jo Cesarz, marketing director of Centria Healthcare, and Jan Griffiths, president and founder of Gravitas Detroit are both amazing accomplished leaders, who regularly reach their goals and set a stellar example for others in the realms of accountability and accomplishment. Great tips you can use right away!

Mentioned in this podcast:

• The Eisenhower Matrix
• Project Aristotle

The post Episode 10 – “Accountability and Getting Shit Done.” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In episode 9 of Work Mom Says: Don’t Be an Idiot, Work Mom provides a firehose of career tips you can use right now—what to start doing and what to stop doing—to grow your professionalism and your business success. Looking for some basic career advice? This episode is action-oriented and easy to digest.

The post Episode 9 – “3 Things to Start Doing Now and 3 Things to Stop Doing Now” appeared first on Work Mom Says®.