Work Mom Says®, Don't Be An Idiot!

#WorkMomSays one of the best ways to make yourself an asset in the workplace is by being the calm in the storm. In this episode, learn how to stay level-headed during stressful professional situations and avoid getting lost in your emotions.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

02:30 – Observe, don’t absorb: Instead of internalizing the stress and negative emotions during a crazy work situation, take a step back and look at the bigger picture before you respond.
04:00 – Stressful workplace vs stressful situation: If you’re under constant stress and unable to function at work, it might be time to find a new job
06:00 – Personal story of keeping calm in chaos: Work Mom shares a crazy work story from her video production days when she stayed calm and solved a huge problem without a freakout.
08:30 – Mindset shift: If you can get into a problem-solving mindset, there’s no room for drama and chaos because you’re in action already.

00:45 – “Staying calm under pressure when things are nuts is really important to both your productivity and your mental well-being.”
04:00 – “How important is it really that you respond right now? In most cases, you have at least a few minutes. Do you have enough time to step away and take a few deep breaths? It’s surprising how breathing techniques can help you feel calmer immediately.”
05:45 – It can be really difficult working for someone who is constantly chaotic and pushing fast and moving fast if that’s not who you are. And if that causes you a lot of anxiety, it may not be a good fit for you.
08:30 – Once you move into that problem-solving mode, you’re in action, and it’s a lot harder to be stressed out and freaking out if you are in action toward a solution.

00:00
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says. Today we are going to talk about keeping your calm when everyone around you is freaking out. It happens. Things go haywire sometimes. And you can’t let overwhelming or overwrought emotions get in the way of figuring out what happened and how to fix it or figuring out just how to get through the situation if it’s just going to be a difficult one. And that will happen as well.

So what I want to talk about is what have you ever felt? Get rid of that. Staying calm under pressure when things are nuts is really important to both your productivity and your mental well-being. Both of those things are really important to your success. And if you can practice staying calm and growing your emotional intelligence, you will have a skill that you can use for the rest of your life.

01:00
And I’ll give you an example. When someone comes at you, let’s say you’ve got an angry client or an angry coworker, and they’re full on coming at you loud, angry. What do you do? Give that a second of thought.

What do you do? Do you go into fight, flight, freeze? That’s naturally what our brains want us to do when we feel unsafe or attacked. We’ve got a little tiny part of our brain back here about the size of an almond called the amygdala. And it tells us, you know, it’s basically the center of our trauma response.

02:00
So when something happens, how do you react? And if you react with anger under stress, that’s not good. If you react with fear under stress, that’s not good either. Anxiety, not good. Flight, running away, or what they call freeze, where you just don’t confront it. None of those are good responses to stressful situations at work.

What is, is a strategic mindset. And I’ll explain that. There’s a couple of ways to look at it. But I’ll explain it in terms that I’ve been thinking of it in a lot lately. There’s a lot of crazy things happening in the world. And to not get pulled into it and end up with a much higher stress level, what I’ve been doing is practicing observe, don’t absorb. And that little mantra will take you really far. If you want to observe why that person’s yelling at you, give some thought to what they might be trying to accomplish by yelling at you. Pull back and just look at the big picture.

03:00
How important is it that you respond immediately? Do you have time to take a few minutes? I need to step away for a moment. I’ll be right back. I need ten minutes to manage something else. Can you take time to calm yourself? Absolutely.

In fact, in a lot of cases, it’s necessary if somebody’s, you know, coming at you, you know, which by that I mean, you know, blaming you for something, getting angry at you, acting really, you know, obnoxious about something. trying to push something through that might not be right for you. In those kinds of situations, it really pays to pull up and look at the situation with a long view.

04:00
How important is it really that you respond right now? In most cases, you have at least a few minutes. Do you have enough time to step away and take a few deep breaths? It’s surprising how breathing techniques can help you feel calmer immediately. You know, five or six really deep breaths can change how you feel.

If you’re under a lot of stress just on a daily basis, and let’s say you get the Sunday scaries every week, That kind of long-term stress might be something you could consider. Either are you in a job that is serving you or are you in a position that will always leave you feeling incredibly stressed and, you know, unable to function or unable to function at the level that you’d like to function at.

05:00
And if that’s the case, the answer might be find another job. Because in some situations, you know, there’s some high pressure, chaotic environments with perhaps, you know, bosses or CEOs who are just prone to creating a lot of tension. In those situations, that kind of that kind of stress happens. That’s not what I’m talking about.

In that case, you may want to find another gig or move into a position where you aren’t exposed to that person and their behavior. Because it can be really difficult working for someone who is constantly chaotic and pushing fast and moving fast if that’s not who you are. And if that causes you a lot of anxiety, it may not be a good fit for you.

06:00
Staying calm when things get crazy is really important. And I’ll tell you a story. I had gone to lunch one day. I worked for a video production facility and I came back to the office and noticed that the machine room, back when they had really expensive video machines, they kept them in what they called the machine room. And the machine room, the carpeting coming out of the, into the hallway, was wet. There was a dark spot.

I was like, what is happening? I snuck around the corner and looked into the room to see it wasn’t raining out. What’s going on? There was water running out of electrical outlets and down cords. Fortunately, the cords looped back up so the water was dripping off the end of the cord and not going into the machine, which it might have done.

07:00
I could have freaked out. For one thing, we had no idea what it was. Turns out the air conditioning unit was on the roof and had just a big problem with leaking. And there was a drain that was plugged that was on the roof and it was causing all kinds of problems.

And the first thing we did was solve it. Go into, you know, fix it mode, unplug everything in that room, unplug all the, you know, turn off the fuse that went to that room, pull all the cords out so that there was no more water dripping, you know, no more chance of the water dripping into the machines. And then get the HVAC people on the phone, get them out to fix it ASAP.

08:00
Go into all the rooms where the clients were, that they were working and explain that we were going to be down for at least the rest of the afternoon. And we would do whatever we could to make sure their projects got done on time. If that meant working extra hours over the next few days to make it up, that’s what we would do. But no time for a freakout because we had clients in the building and we had potential fire hazard, electrocution hazards.

What you’ll find is if you can get into a mindset when things are you know going haywire going sideways if you can get into the mindset of okay how do we solve this and go immediately from observing the problem to problem solving mode, there’s not really any room in the middle for a lot of drama and chaos. Once you move into that problem solving mode, you’re in action, and it’s a lot harder to be stressed out and freaking out if you are in action toward a solution.

09:00
So those are the suggestions I have for you today. One of the most important things you can do as an employee for a company is be that calm in the storm. You’ve got it in you. I know you do. It may take practice. but that’s okay. Sometimes we learn as we go.

So when you come upon a crazy stressful situation, think of work mom, take some deep breaths, step away, take a break. If it’s a constant problem, consider leaving the company, finding a less stressful boss or a less stressful job. And if it’s a problem and a crazy thing that’s sprung up out of nowhere, immediately go into “observe, not absorb,” mode and solve the problem. Those are the things that are going to help you get through when things go crazy at the office.

10:00
So that’s what I’ve got for you today. Again, I have a website at WorkMomSays.com where I share all of my podcast episodes as well as show notes and things like that. The Work Mom Says podcast is on all of the standard podcast platforms. And if you are watching this on YouTube, do me a favor, hit that subscribe button. Give me a like, give me a comment. Would love to hear from you.

And I do have an open networking policy on LinkedIn. So if you are interested in suggesting a guest for the podcast or a topic you’d like me to discuss, I’m happy to do that. And of course, check out my book on Amazon: Work Mom Says, Don’t Be An Idiot. Thirty-Eight Lessons. You Don’t Want To Learn The Hard Way. Look it up on Amazon. It’s got a lot of great, helpful information to help you play the emotional contact sport of business so you can experience less drama and more success. I’ll see you again soon.

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

The post Episode 48 – Keeping Your Calm When Those Around You Freak Out appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

#WorkMomSays that knowing when and how to give notice is essential for a smooth career transition. In this episode, learn the importance of providing a two week notice in professional environments and when immediate departure from a toxic workplace is justified. Discover insights on maintaining professionalism, recognizing red flags, and the impact of leaving a job gracefully or abruptly.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:12 – Introduction to the episode: Lori discusses the key considerations when giving notice and the importance of maintaining professionalism.

02:10 – Why a two-week notice is beneficial: Lori shares insights on how a formal notice period can leave a positive impression.

02:40 – Personal story from an advertising career: Lori recounts an experience with a seemingly promising job that turned out to be problematic due to unprofessional behavior.

05:05 – Red flags at a new workplace: Inappropriate conduct and lack of boundaries at a digital shop.

07:25 – The value of bridges unburned: A former employer reached out with a job offer after Lori’s professional departure.

09:02 – When not to give notice: In certain toxic environments, immediate exit is sometimes necessary to protect one’s well-being.

4:07 – “So my first day on the job, she told me, hey by the way, I’m in a relationship with the owner. And I just immediately knew that was probably not a good sign.”

5:05 – “Well, then he asked me to do his social media and we had a couple of meetings and I started taking some stabs at what I thought might be appropriate. And his first piece of criticism he began with: if I was the client and you were the agency, I would fire you.”

7:25 – “Since I had given a really great two week notice…my phone rang and it was that agency saying, hey, can you come back?”

9:21 – “And if you’re working in a place that’s kind of a toxic shit show and the owner may be using the staff as his dating pool or you know, you’ve got drinking all day long or you’ve got sexism or racism or inappropriate behavior, don’t worry about two weeks because in a lot of cases people that support that kind of behavior at the office will make those last two weeks a living hell for you.”

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:12

Hello, everybody. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says “Don’t Be An Idiot!” I’m Lori Jo Vest, and today I want to talk about giving notice from an employer. When it’s time to go, you have made your decision, and you’re giving notice. Do you always have to give a two week notice? No. 

Depending on where you’re employed, how your employer treats you, if they are a very professionally run organization, a two week notice is totally appropriate and I would actually recommend it in those situations. If you like your job, but you were simply leaving to look for the opportunity to get a promotion or more money or maybe you were moving. In those situations where you don’t want to burn a bridge, a two week notice is a really good thing.

When you give a two week notice, you get to take those two weeks and make it easier for your employer to fill the position with the next person. I’ve actually offered—depending on, you know, what size the company is and where you fit in that corporate structure—I’ve actually offered to find my replacement and I’ve done that at several places because that really does put you in a good place with the employer.

I mean, it shows that you still care, that you are highly professional and that you don’t want to leave them in a lurch. Right? That’s really, really appropriate. So yes, when you are leaving an employer that’s been good to you or even just moderately okay, go ahead, make that a two week notice. Prepare the next person for the position, finish up your projects, do a really good job wrapping it up.

02:10

Here’s why. A two week notice can be really helpful. I’m going to tell you a story here, true story. I was working in a creative department of an advertising agency, writing social media copy and blog articles and email copy, things like that. And I was a worker bee and I really enjoyed it because I was, you know, in my late 40s in the creative department of an advertising agency and I just had a blast. Creative departments are typically a little more raucous than other departments in the agency. They’re a lot more fun and you have creative minds, so the antics can be absolutely hilarious. 

But I was kind of tired of being a worker bee and I wanted to move into more of a, you know, higher level of responsibility, make a little bit more money. And so I went out and I found this really, what seemed to be a really cool little digital shop that might be a good place for me to land. So I actually reached out on LinkedIn to the owner and we had lunch, and then I think we may have had another meeting at the office. And before you know it, I was hired there to work. And the owner was incredibly charming. He was about maybe a few years younger than me, maybe in his 50s, and very stylish and charming and funny and handsome and I mean, his clothes always dressed to the nines and just really had it together. So it looked.

03:38

But as I continued to work there, I experienced some really, really strange behavior from his team. I found out that he was actually- that about 10 years earlier, he had broken up his marriage publicly with a new creative director he had hired. So he hired a woman, broke up his marriage to be with her, and kept her as his head of creative at the agency.

So my first day on the job, she told me, hey, by the way, I’m in a relationship with the owner. And I just immediately knew that was probably not a good sign. When you have got the owner of the company in a relationship with someone on the staff, unless you’re talking about a company that maybe the founders were married, that kind of thing, that’s typically okay because it’s a family business. Those can be really good to work for. They can also be really horrible to work for. But this was a, you know, gentleman that owned the company and he hired a woman and then started having an affair with her, publicly broke up his marriage and started a new relationship with his VP of creative. Okay so I find that out on the first day and I’m disappointed because I know that really points to a lack of boundaries with the leadership team and can be an indicator of trouble. 

05:05

Well, then he asked me to do his social media and we had a couple of meetings and I started taking some stabs at what I thought might be appropriate. And his first piece of criticism he began with, if I was the client and you were the agency, I would fire you. Whoa. Okay. Well, that’s a really good way to start a feedback session with an employee that’s been with you for about three weeks. It was horrible. And then, you know, more weeks go by and I’m noticing more crazy things happening, and there’s a lot of drinking in the office and there’s just a lot of drama and it was crazy. 

So what really got me was the day that he came up to my desk. I had a young woman on my team that was in her 20s and she was a social media strategist. Beautiful young woman, just gorgeous. Married, two little kids. And what I knew was she was married and had two little kids and there was no talk of her getting a divorce or being separated, none of that. And this owner of the company comes up to my desk and he rubs his hands together and says, she—and he points to my young team member—likes older men and just gives me this really creepy look and walks away. And I am shocked because… What? Why are you telling me that somebody on my team that works for me is a potential target for your inappropriate sexual behavior in the office? He was in relationship with the VP of Creative. What are we doing here? 

There were a lot of other things that happened. And I literally told my husband one day, oh my God, I’m not going to make it. I can’t work here. This is so stressful. I was just, you know, talk about Sunday scaries. I had the Sunday horror show. I mean, I would just get so anxious, you know, starting Sunday morning that I would have to go back. And I came home one day and told my husband, you know, I just, I don’t know what I’m going to do, but I got to get out of there. And it had only been about nine months. 

07:25

Well, since I had given a really great two week notice and had done all I could at the other agency, they called me. My husband had actually suggested, you should call them and see if they’ll take you back. And I was like, oh no, they’re not going to. They’ve already hired somebody. And I knew that, and they don’t need me. And you know, that’s not going to work. And the very next day my phone rang and it was that agency saying, hey, can you come back? The person we hired didn’t work out. We’d love to have you back in the role. What do you need and when can you show up? How long do you need to give notice? And I said I don’t need to give notice, not in this crazy place. Nope. 

And so I went in on a Sunday night and I, you know, left notes on some of my co workers desks and I sent—got home, you know, got all my belongings, got home that Monday morning, left my key on my desk and everything, wrapped it all up, got home—sent an email to the CEO and just said I’m done. And you know, it’s been a very difficult time and I do not fit in your culture, so thank you, bye. And you know, I was polite but honestly with the type of behavior and the type of people that worked there, I wasn’t worried about, you know, references. I was never going to use them as a reference. They don’t show up on my resume, my LinkedIn, nowhere. Nobody knows I’ve worked there. Unless you dig pretty far back into my history, somewhere on the Internet you may find it, but I just- it wasn’t appropriate. 

09:02

So when we say you should give two weeks, you should always give an appropriate two week notice and behave to the highest levels of professionalism. If you would ever want to go back to that employer in any capacity, absolutely you should. And if you’re working in a place that’s kind of a toxic shit show and the owner may be using the staff as his dating pool or you know, you’ve got drinking all day long or you’ve got sexism or racism or inappropriate behavior, don’t worry about two weeks because in a lot of cases people that support that kind of behavior at the office will make those last two weeks a living hell for you. I’ve seen it happen and you don’t want that. So when you’re in a toxic relationship… bye! Work through the day and head out. Otherwise give a nice two weeks notice.

I hope this was helpful. So that’s all I’ve got for you for this episode. Short and sweet. My name again is Lori Jo Vest. If you are watching this on YouTube, please hit the subscribe button. I would love to have you on my list and give me a like and maybe a comment. That would be awesome. I’m really trying to get my YouTube presence up and get some great content out there. Or you can also visit my website at workmomsays.com where I have a contact form and I am also an open networker on LinkedIn, so reach out to me there if you have any ideas for guests I should have on topics I should cover. I would absolutely love to hear from you. So that’s what I’ve got for you. I’ll see you again soon.

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

The post Episode 47 – Is 2 Weeks Notice ALWAYS Necessary? Nope! appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

#WorkMomSays that resilience is a critical skill for personal and professional success. In this episode, learn how to maintain composure through life’s ups and downs by developing resilience. Discover strategies for managing emotions, building a support network, and learning continuously so you can handle challenges with a calm and steady approach.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:20 – Introduction to resilience: Understanding resilience as a skill to quickly regain composure after facing disruptions.

01:25 – Early career experience and a story of resilience: An example of staying calm during a company financial crisis.

05:07 – Defining resilience in a professional context: How managing emotions and adapting to challenges is key.

7:54 – Self-care as a foundation for resilience: The importance of physical and mental well-being to maintain composure.

09:00 – Emotional regulation as part of resilience: Managing mood and emotions effectively in the workplace.

11:10 – Building a support network: Creating a system of mentors and friends to navigate workplace challenges.

12:14 – Continuous learning and mindset shifts: The importance of learning about resilience and reframing challenges as opportunities.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:12

Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says “Don’t Be An Idiot!” Today we’re going to talk about how to grow your resilience. Resilience is a really important skill. And basically what it means is that when something happens, good, bad or otherwise, you are able to quickly get back to your normal setting. 

For example, if you are on the phone, you hear something terrible happened. When you get off the phone, maybe you have a client meeting. Resilience means that you can take some deep breaths, put that aside, get to it later, and face the next thing you encounter from that strong foundation of calm and stability. 

Because resilience is- it’s one of those things that if you can be the calm in the storm—that would be another way I would define it—if you can be the calm in the storm when crazy things are happening, when things are chaotic, you’ll be the one that people rely on when things go crazy, because they’ll know you’ll be the one that’ll be, you know, steady and stable. And, you know, I’ll give you a quick story.

01:25

I’ve told this one before, but you may not have heard it if you didn’t catch the episode. Early in my career, I worked for a company that was a television production studio. I was recruited into this organization. And at the time I remember thinking, ‘If they hired a recruiter, recruiters are expensive, so they must have a lot of money. This must be a really solid company.’ And they hired me for marketing. They hired a gentleman named Tom for sales. And Tom felt so strongly about this company and its possible success that he moved his wife from Chicago to Metro Detroit. She was six months pregnant. She had a really good job at Bloomingdale’s. 

And about I’d say two months after the hirings and—you know, Tom and I were settling into our jobs and there were about 20 other people at the company. It was a small company, but we were doing great, you know, great work for big organizations, for automotive companies like Ford, lots of great things were happening—and we found out that the major financial backer, the silent partner, had decided that they weren’t profitable enough and they were losing money. And he needed to start making some cuts to the budget immediately. 

And one of the first things that he said he was going to do was start with a payroll budget. So he was going to meet with each one of us that same day. Now, keep in mind, the day before, we felt like everything was great. And then we get called in for an early morning meeting and we’re told that finances are really bad. And we are going to leave work that day knowing how much less we were going to get paid for our jobs.

And now think about Tom. He just moved his wife from Chicago. She was a little against the move. She wasn’t real happy about it. She went along, but she wasn’t really happy about it. And Tom, all that day and over the next week while we figured out what was going to happen, was just calm as a cucumber. We couldn’t believe it. We were like, ‘What? Tom, what’s your secret?’ Because, I mean, everybody else was freaking out. How am I going to pay my bills? And what’s going to happen? And Tom was like, just smooth. And, ‘How’s it going?’ ‘I’m doing good. I’m hanging in there. We’ll figure it out.’ So smooth. 

And I asked him one day, ‘Tom,’ you know, ‘how do you do that? What is it that’s keeping you so much calmer than the rest of us?’ And he said, ‘I really love spy novels.’ I was like, what does that mean? And he really was very into spy novels. Reading about these international spies who could create brand new identities for themselves and engage in these really long programs or whatever they call them, you know, projects where they would have to embody this new person for months on end in order to get to a certain person that they had to stop or get information from or whatever. It was really interesting. And he said, so as far as I’m concerned, if I take what I read and I apply that to the situation, why can’t I stay calm? How good does, you know- what good does it do me to get upset? And I just keep reading my spy novels and I get through it.

So it was a really interesting approach. There are lots and lots of ways of approaching resilience. And that was just one example of many, many ways that you can develop your own resilience so that when things go a little sideways, you’re not the one that’s emotionally overwrought and unable to manage it in a professional way.

5:07

So what exactly is resilience in a professional context? That means you are able to manage negative emotions in a way that brings you back to a steady emotional state and do it quickly. And there’s a lot of different things that happen. There’s a lot of uncertainty There’s a lot of setbacks, there’s a lot of stress in the office.

Resilience doesn’t mean you just push through it. Resilience means that you adapt. You look at the situation, you act as the observer. That’s one way of being resilient. It’s just kind of, stop for a second, instead of jumping in and starting to gyrate around something that happened. Pull yourself back. Look at it from a distance and consider,—especially an emotional distance—and consider what you would do if you weren’t emotionally invested, if you were strategic, if you were able to be non judgmental, if you were able to look out for everyone’s best interests instead of reacting out of anger or stress or sadness or whatever it is. Resilience is a strong leadership skill. So it’s worth developing. It’s worth taking the time to study it, to talk about it, to maybe put together a group of people that look at your different skills that you need to grow and find resources to help you grow those skills.

The kind of challenges that you’re going to run into during your career can be things like not getting that job that they told you you were this close to getting. Career setbacks, getting laid off, imposter syndrome. You may go into the office one day just feeling like you don’t even know how to do your job. Why did they hire you? Regular stress can cause emotional issues and cause you to react in emotional ways, maybe even inappropriately. You may get a new boss that’s extremely challenging. You may get a whole bunch of new responsibilities without the accompanying pay increase. It happens when you have the ability to be resilient in those kinds of situations, you will handle them in a more positive way that creates stronger relationships and helps you become a better leader and become a stronger employee and honestly just a better person.

Because if you’re resilient, then if something happens in your personal life that can be really, you know, can knock you off your feet, you’ll be able to pull yourself back up and so again, just such an important skill. 

7:54

So let’s talk about four different ways that you can build your resilience. Couple things: self care. Believe it or not, self care is a huge part of being able to manage your emotions and be resilient. Getting enough sleep, eating properly, being hydrated, not being out drinking with, you know, friends on a work night, or you know, coming into work hungover in the morning. All those kinds of things are self care. Taking care of yourself so that you can bring your best physical self to the office. That does translate to your emotions. 

And self care also includes quiet time. If you’re one of those people that you just run hard all week long, maybe you’re in sales and you just run hard all week and you need to take the weekend to just power down and you know, lock to the couch and watch some Netflix. Perfectly okay. Whatever you need to do to practice self care and get yourself back to an even keel will help you be resilient. 

9:00

The other thing that we can talk about is emotional regulation. One of the things that I would study early in my career is mood management and emotion management. Because when you are in a state of emotional dysregulation, you can’t really handle anything properly. 

Let’s say you, you know, you had- were in a- just having a bad day this morning and you woke up and there wasn’t enough air in your tire and you had to fill that and then you, oh my God, didn’t have enough gas in your tank and you had to stop there. You went to Starbucks and the line was really long and you’re just really annoyed and you get to the office and somebody stops you and says, oh, that thing you turned in yesterday, it wasn’t right, you’ll have to do it again. If you are not able to regulate your emotions, you will not respond to that situation in a way that’s positive.

And guess what? It will happen. It’s- part of life is like that. So emotional regulation means you take a breath and you put the effort in to handle the situation properly, no matter how you feel. What resilience means in a lot of cases is making sure that your feelings do not dictate your behavior.

We all have a logical side to our brains and to the way we think that we can call on. The more you call on it, the stronger it gets. So when you’ve had that horrible morning and you walk in, and that coworker says that… Deep breath. And you’ll know if you take a second before you react and you give yourself a minute to respond instead, you will know that the right thing to do is to say, give me a minute, let me settle into my desk, and I’ll come see you so we can talk about it. And you’ll keep going to your desk, and you won’t let that ruin your day at the office. 

That may mean taking a walk around the building before you go to your desk, if the morning was really that bad. But don’t bring your dysregulated emotions into the office if you can at all help it. Not a good idea, and it’s not productive. 

11:10

Another thing you can do is build yourself a support network. And that means making some friends that are maybe a couple notches up the ladder from you at your office, finding a few mentors in your industry, having girlfriends or, you know, male friends, having friends that you can talk to that will help you when you are, you know, struggling with the situation at work.

You may have a new boss that is just, oh my God, all over you with minutiae. And all of a sudden, everything you’re doing is being picked apart and you just can’t handle it. Well, you can handle it and you will handle it. And if you have a good support system, what’ll happen is when you go home, you’ll be able to vent some of that by calling someone on your support system list.

You know, whether it’s your friend, whether it’s your, you know, your old boss, whoever it is that can help you kind of figure out what’s going on, make sense of the, you know, of the spaghetti mess, and move forward in a positive way. 

12:13

So let’s see, what else do we have here? Continuous learning. Another way to build resilience is continuous learning. And what that means is study it. You know, look, do a Google search. Spend 15 minutes a week. Do a Google search, how to grow your resilience. It will be so worth your while. Do that for 90 days, once a week, 15 minutes, you’ll know everything there is to know about it. You’ll know enough about it at that point. To build your resilience. It’s really not that hard.

12:43

One final way to build your resistance is to shift your mindset. And there’s two things I’ll recommend here that I really, really love. One is called reframing. And what that is, is consider this. There’s what happens, and then there’s what you tell yourself about what happened. And what you tell yourself about what happened is the framing that you’re giving to that situation.

For example, if I get a new boss and all of a sudden that new boss is just all over me and wants to see everything I do, I can frame that in many different ways. I can say, she doesn’t think I could do my job, she thinks I’m incompetent. Or more positively, I can frame it as, she just got here, she’s trying to figure out how I do my job, how to best manage me, if my work, you know, dovetails with her vision for how she wants the work done, those kinds of things. And that is a much more positive way of looking at that situation. And it is a form of resilience.

Another way to reframe is to look at failures as learning opportunities. When something really crazy happens, instead of gyrating around it and going down the rabbit hole of self hatred and all of that, immediately go to, ‘Why did it happen? What did we learn and how can we prevent it from happening in the future?’ And when you frame failures and mistakes as learning opportunities, it’s a form of resilience. It helps you get past the negative feelings and into a much, much more productive mindset.

14:25

Those are the tips I have for you today around resilience. I hope they’re helpful. If you would like more career advice from Work Mom, I have a 40-year career in business. I would love to have you tune into my podcast on Spotify. I’m on YouTube. If you are watching this on YouTube, please hit the subscribe button. Give me a like, help me spread the word. I am here to help young professionals learn how to play the emotional contact sport of business. I have a website at workmomsays.com where I have some blogs and a contact form if you’d like to suggest a guest or ask a question. I am also an open networker on LinkedIn. So if you have heard this podcast out in the wild, please, please feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you. So that’s all I’ve got for you. I’ll see you very soon. 

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

The post Episode 46 – Resilience as a Career Skill appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

WorkMomSays that transforming seemingly temporary roles into fulfilling careers requires adaptability and a proactive approach. In this episode, Lori Jo Vest chats with Kyle Elsasser, who shares his journey from taking a bridge job out of necessity to creating a thriving career path.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:50 – Guest introduction: Kyle Elsasser shares his journey from a pandemic graduate to a flourishing career in the automotive industry.

03:01 – From entry-level to expertise: Kyle discusses the transition from an express lane service advisor to his current role.

04:59 – Finding the value in seemingly temporary roles: How Kyle transformed his ‘bridge job’ into a fulfilling career.

22:55 – Handling conflict with customers: Building empathy and tackling problems collaboratively.

28:59 – Advice for recent graduates and early career professionals: Making the most of your current job while seeking new opportunities.

5:38 – “I decided I wasn’t just going to use it as something to do for a few months. I decided I actually might as well do something with it.”

15:47 – “Being yourself at the office is different than being your best self at the office.”

17:09 – “…when you’re being paid to work, it’s not just your performance in your job, it’s not just your work product that is the- should be the result of that. It should also be your work persona.”

30:21 – “Even if it’s really hellish, focus on what you’re learning. When you start to get antsy, look back. Are you still learning?”

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:12

LORI: Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says “Don’t Be an Idiot!” Today we’re going to talk about making the best of where you are. There are times when you’re in a position that you didn’t really expect to have to take.

You may have a job that is less than you feel you deserve. You may feel that you are too experienced for your job or should be making more money. All kinds of things can happen. However, sometimes you have to stick with that job that you’re not so happy with for a little bit longer than you’d like.

So our guest today is Kyle Elsasser. Say hi, Kyle.

KYLE: Hello.

00:57

LORI: A 26 year old University of Michigan grad. He graduated in 2020 during the pandemic and things were extremely difficult and the place that he thought he was going to go right after college, that position evaporated. So he ended up taking what I would call a bridge job, meaning you take that job while you wait for something bigger and better to come along. Right, Kyle?

KYLE: Yeah, that was the plan.

LORI: Tell us about what happened when you first graduated.

KYLE: I had an internship with Mopar. I had a whole- everything lined up, you know, getting an interview set up for the second, third week of March of 2020. That was quote unquote, a formality to go move out of state and start a new job as a district manager. Covid happened, said, oh, we’ll just wait a few weeks, we’ll wait a couple months. And here we are, five years later.

LORI: Yea, no kidding. So what was your first position? What did you find out there and how did you find it?

KYLE: Well, again it was- I was originally intending to go work for Mopar, which is the service and parts division of FCA or Stellantis Chrysler. Ended up taking a job as an express lane service advisor at a Chrysler dealer that my uncle was the general manager of. Just figured it’d be something to fill my time while we were waiting those couple of weeks to a couple of months…

LORI: Couple of weeks, couple of months, couple of years. So what was the position and what were your duties? What did you do?

KYLE: So it was, again, an express lane service advisor, which basically means, it’s a big dealership. If you need to come in and get your oil changed, something quick, tire rotation, wheel alignment, what have you. You drive in the service lane, no appointments, and I was the guy that greeted you, set you up for your oil change, told you to go sit down and wait, and came and grabbed you when you were done.

03:01

LORI: Okay, so now fast forward five years, what are you doing now?

KYLE: I am a service advisor for the main shop, not doing oil changes and such. And I work for our premium brand of Alfa Romeo.

LORI: Okay, and Wagoneer too?

KYLE: A little bit of backup Wagoneer stuff, mostly Alfa.

LORI: So tell me what the difference is in those two positions.

KYLE: Express lane is very entry level. You know, it’s pretty, pretty standard. You don’t take anything from day to day. It’s just every customer that comes in, you say hi to them, tell them to sit down and an hour later you go grab them, collect your 50 bucks or whatever for the oil change and see you later.

Whereas what I’m doing now, I’m juggling every single Italian car that comes in that dealership from top to bottom, whether that is your oil change or whether that is your forty thousand dollar engine that blew up and, you know, keep your car for six months and I handle the process from start to finish.

LORI: So one of the other differences is, you make how much more money than you did when you first started?

KYLE: Considerably more. You know, that certainly does make a difference.

LORI: Two times? Three times?

KYLE: Somewhere between two and three. Yeah, for sure.

LORI: In four and a half years, basically, you made that happen, right?

KYLE: Yeah, yeah pretty much.

LORI: So, let me ask you, how did you decide to stay there, and how did you make this transition to a job that paid so much more and was so much more in keeping with who you are as a, you know, as a college graduate, etc.?

KYLE: I mean, when you start you’re making $12 an hour, again, as a bridge job, right? I kind of thought a little bit, you know, I wanted to make the most of it, right? At the time my going to be real job would have been valuable experience to have this little bit of express lane job experience.

LORI: Okay, so how did you do it? How did you- what do you think made you different that allowed you to make that transition?

KYLE: So again, it was originally a bridge job. Just get a little bit of experience. But then I kind of realized there was more to it. Right? You know, there was the customer experience aspect of it. There was some small portion that was commission in that first part of it. And I decided I wasn’t just going to use it as something to do for a few months. I decided I actually might as well do something with it. Which, again, originally was to be able to take that experience into the next step at Stellantis.

But over time, one, that next step at Stellantis seemed further and further away. And two, I realized there actually really probably was more to it than just writing up oil changes, collecting my 12 bucks an hour and going home. As I said, the customer experience aspect of it is huge.

That’s something that’s in the dealer industry is one of, if not the most important things. And I realized I certainly did have kind of a knack for it, I guess. I saw what other advisors were doing in the main shop. I saw that there was potential to be had there and then kind of carved out my spot as the customer experience guy and actually ended up in a position that didn’t exist. Taking care of only the quote unquote, premium customers expect that expect a little bit more out of their service.

06:44

LORI: So personally, how would you say you did that? What was it that took you from that more entry level position to growing your income, growing your responsibility, growing your, basically, career in a job that you thought was going to be entry level and kind of just a stopping point along the way. What was it about you that made it possible for you to do that, do you think?

KYLE: Well, one thing, one of our managers that came in out of a- actually used to work for a Lexus store. You know, they’re very, very, very much into the, again, quote unquote premium experience. I kind of got closer with him, kind of understood how he did things. And we both, between me and him, came up with this position that didn’t exist. And then I also, another side of it, was my mom, this lady that raised me, actually once wrote a book a long time ago about customer experience.

I kind of had that in my head from the get go. So really that is the biggest difference, is actually keeping track of customer experience, and making it a priority is what made this more of a possibility for me.

LORI: Now to talk about customer experience, just for people who aren’t as familiar with what we mean by that: what Kyle’s talking about is when the customer comes into the dealership, that dealership is representing that entire organization to that customer. And that may be the only relationship that they have with the corporation through, the dealership, until it’s time to buy another car.

And if that experience isn’t good, they’ll go to a different dealership and potentially to another brand. So for an automotive manufacturer, that customer experience is a huge, huge thing. And Kyle, you even mentioned that they get discounts on the cars they purchase if they have good customer service scores in the service area?

KYLE: Yeah, so I mean it’s highly incentivized by the manufacturer, and that’s across the board in the entire auto industry. But part of the way that Chrysler does it is, or Stellantis does it, is if service scores at a certain dealership are at whatever level they want them to be at, they actually do discount their cars for the dealership.

So I mean you’re talking 1,000, 2,000 dollars on every single unit just based off of if customers indicated they were happy during the oil change experience. So it does make a big difference.

LORI: So customer surveys are a big deal, and basically what that means is the dealer buys a car for this much and they sell it for that much. If they can buy it from the manufacturer for a couple thousand dollars cheaper on every vehicle, that adds up, that adds up over time.

KYLE: A bit of profit.

9:43

LORI: Yeah, exactly. So I really like how they’ve done that, how they tied service to sales and how they are making sure that the dealers understand that that service aspect is really critical. But they’ve not- traditionally, that’s always been a challenge in the dealerships to find the people that really understood, or to train them. Maybe that’s the issue. I’m not in that business, so I don’t know. But training people on customer service and how to be what you naturally are can be really challenging. And what I would say is you appear to be really naturally service oriented and wanting to make sure that the customers are happy, that that’s kind of part of who you are. Would you say that?

KYLE: Well, yeah. I mean, again, I remember when I was an eight year old I was talking to my mom about her customer service book, right? I mean that’s one side of it. But also, I mean I truly enjoy helping people with their cars. I mean that makes a big difference, actually wanting to do the job. If you’re coming in with your, just for my example or whatever, your Alfa Romeo or whatever, your nice Italian car that you saved your money up for and you’ve always wanted, and oh, you got an engine light and ‘Oh my God, that’s a huge deal. I don’t know what it is. I’m not a car guy. I just got my fancy Italian car.’ I’m happy to be that person to walk them through that and, ‘We’ll take care of it. We’ll make it a seamless process. You’ll be back on the road in no time.’ I mean, that’s something that’s pretty fulfilling, actually.

LORI: Yeah, because you are the car guy, right?

KYLE: Yeah, I mean, I’m explaining things about cars to my friends and family. I might as well do it for work too.

11:26

LORI: Exactly. Well, I do think there’s a lot to be said for that tie to what you’re passionate about. Makes it easier to do a really good job when you enjoy it. And you’ve always been a car guy, so let’s just veer off for a second. How many MINI Coopers do you have?

KYLE: I have six, working on seven.

LORI: And how many have you had in the last 10 years?

KYLE: Ten.

LORI: Ten. Okay. So yeah, the car guy getting into the car business really makes a lot of sense. Kyle just thought he was going to be more on the corporate side, helping the dealers from the corporate side, and instead he’s actually boots on the ground helping the customers. Which is- I would beg to say that was almost more important to the manufacturer’s success than anything else.

Okay, so let’s talk about what do you think- what mindset did you have when you took this job that allowed you to continue to grow and turn this into something better?

KYLE: I wasn’t intending to be there forever, but it really did start with, I wanted to actually make this not quote unquote important. Just bridge a job and use it as something that would be good experience for what I thought my real job would be. I mean, that’s really where it started. You know, I could have just collected my paycheck and just waited, sat around until the actual job showed up. But I thought it could be something useful. And just in doing that, that’s kind of when I realized that I wouldn’t have to skip out to the corporate side. I could actually make something useful out of what I was doing.

And then additionally, I mentioned that that my uncle was the one who was the GM at the time. He’s since retired, but when I had him in my back pocket telling me, ‘Hey, there is something to this. Give the dealership, the franchise side of it, a shot because there’s certainly a career, plenty of careers to be had in that side of the industry as well.’ So I took that knowledge and kind of just, again, rather than just sitting around and waiting for my, quote, real job to come in, to come up, I decided to make the most of it and see what I could do.

LORI: Well, you just nailed it. What you said when we were preparing for this recording was, you chose to make this a career, not a job. And when you choose to even take that first, what I’d call piddly little job that you don’t necessarily want and do your absolute best…

14:01

How many people do you hear that are CEO that started off as the receptionist or started off in the mail room, or started off, you know, you’re going through the ranks of the service department and learning how it works from that entry level position. So we also talked about being promotable. What does that mean to you, Kyle?

KYLE: I mean, I guess showing willingness and ability to do more than what you’re doing. I mean that’s my one biggest- I’m not very far in my career or whatever in terms of time- but in my one proper promotion of going from a very replaceable job to something that hadn’t existed before.

I mean that was really what it came down to was I was talking to management saying, ‘Hey, I don’t want to do this forever, but I want to see what I can do with this company.’ And then having the numbers and results to prove it when that position appeared, I was the one to do it.

LORI: And couple things I’d highlight as we talk about this is that when you go into a job with the mindset that it’s a career, I would say you’re more earnest, you’re more enthusiastic, you’re more likely to present your best self than you would if you were just going to your job. Does that make sense? And you mentioned that in that side of things, there’s a lot of people out there that are telling young professionals that we need to be authentic. Be as authentic as you can, that’s what people like. And there’s a lot to be said for that.

But, being yourself at the office is different than being your best self at the office. Right? So how would you say when you go into work every day, you’re your best self? Because you mentioned some things to me when we were talking earlier about, that you just have a different attitude no matter how the other person is acting. So tell me about that.

KYLE: Yeah, I mean that especially comes into play with the job that I’m doing. Customers typically aren’t walking up to my desk thrilled to be there. It’s usually because their car is broken, right? So I mean the biggest thing is just approaching the day with a smile on your face.

It sounds a little bit goofy, a little bit cliche or whatever, but especially in a customer facing job, I mean that is what you got to do. It’s, ‘Hey Mr. Customer,’ you know, and, ‘I recognize you’re not really thrilled to be here, but let’s figure this out. Let’s make this the least inconvenience we can and then we’ll get you back going.’ I’ll be honest, I don’t approach every single person in my daily life with a big bright smile and a hello.

LORI: Well, yeah.

But at work I do.

LORI: But when you’re getting paid to do it, you do it.

KYLE: Sure. Yeah, exactly.

17:03

LORI: I mean, that’s the thing that I think some people maybe forget earlier in their careers, is that when you’re being paid to work, it’s not just your performance in your job, it’s not just your work product that should be the result of that. It should also be your work persona.

And we talked about how when you create really connected positive relationships with everybody you work with, even the crabby-ass people, you’re going to end up being better able to perform your job. And you mentioned somebody that isn’t necessarily friendly every day, but you’ve taken an approach to him that makes him easier to work with. Right?

KYLE: Yeah. Yeah, I mean, we’ve got all kinds of different folks at the dealership level. Right? I mean from- there are plenty of folks that are just there to get through the slog and do the job and that’s it. But you gotta be able to work with everybody.

You gotta be able to, again as it is, as I said, smiling and then hello, and that makes a big difference because when I need this job out of this technician to get done or whatever, if I’m the guy that’s always having a brief chat with them and asking how they’re doing or whatever, they’re a little more likely to work with me. Even if they are the less cooperative type of person.

LORI: I would say you earn their reciprocity,

KYLE: Yeah. And I help them out too. I mean, if they need something from one advisor and that advisor is either busy or having a crap day and doesn’t feel like helping, I absolutely step up for stuff that’s absolutely not my job.

And, truly, as someone that’s only paid on commission, I’m literally handing out my time. Here you go. Let me take a few minutes to help you. I don’t get anything out of it. But, you know. And that makes a difference in a workplace, right? I’m spending 40, 50 hours with these people every single week. You might as well get along with everybody.

LORI: Yeah. And that’s the key too is getting along with everybody. You can’t pick people you do or don’t get along with. Everyone that works there deserves your positive performance. And if they don’t deliver their side of the bargain? Oh well, that’s them, you know? And you’ll still find the crabbiest people will go the extra mile for you because you’ve been kind to them for so long.

I’ve seen that over and over and over. People are like, ‘You got that person to do what?’ Like, yeah, I was just really nice to her for a really long time. And before you know it, I could get her to do whatever I wanted. I mean, reciprocity. People appreciate it when you are kind. Especially people I think that are seriously maybe crabby all the time. Not very many people are kind to them. So when you stand out as repeatedly kind, it makes a difference, it really does. In what you get back. And also how you’re able to perform your job. When you need something, you need a favor, you need help, you can get it.

20:04

So let’s talk about this whole commission thing. I know commission, a lot of people are afraid of it because they’re like, ‘I want to have a guaranteed salary’ and you are 100% commission, right?

KYLE: Yeah, yeah. And bonuses and whatnot, sure.

LORI: How does that work? I mean, why doesn’t that make you anxious?

KYLE: I mean, I certainly did the math right before I agreed to it. I mean, one positive is that there are, well, in one way, there are other advisors at the dealership who I could talk to and see what the numbers are and see what comes in every day to make sure it’s something that I can sustain myself.

But also, again, it was kind of starting a job that didn’t exist before in that I’m only working with the one premium brand that kind of just got sprinkled through everybody, through all the advisors prior to me showing up. But having all that as kind of a- I don’t know if really captive audience is the right word- but I knew that I was going to continue to have work coming in. So I knew that that baseline, whatever that baseline would be, I knew that I wasn’t going to be going completely hungry one week. Right? I knew that something was going to be coming in and I would have that. I just decided I’d go for it and see what happened. And it worked.

I mean, there are absolutely some weeks. There’s my little ADP app that tells me ‘your pay went up whatever percentage up or down’ I mean, there are some weeks where it says my pay was down 75% from last week. But also ones that were 300% or whatever. Right? I kind of had a vague idea of what came in the door and I knew that I could make it work. As long as I’m not living or dying on my one week that I happened to make $300 on because it was a slow week or whatever.

LORI: Right, right. I do think that commission, if you do the homework to make sure it’s a good deal for you, is one of the ways that you can make a lot more money than you would in a salaried position.

KYLE: Yeah. And that is how it’s ended up working too is that if you zoom out from the week to week to the month to month, to what you take home over a year, it adds absolutely worth it, at least in the spot that I’m in. And I’m sure a lot of commission jobs don’t end up that way, but I imagine most of them do.

LORI: Yeah the episode we just released was about how to make more money. And one of the things that I say, if you work for a small or a mid sized company and you can influence customers coming in, a lot of times you can get a bonus or commission on that work, even if that’s not specifically your space. You know people or something like that that may come in, a lot of times you can get a little bump on that depending on what type of industry you’re in.

22:55

So a couple other things, I know you are in an industry, Kyle, that has a lot of probably more heated conflict with customers than a lot of industries. Because somebody pays $60,000 for a car, they buy it brand new, they don’t expect anything to go wrong. And just like any other type of product, sometimes something goes wrong early and they’re mad, and you’re the first person that they talk to. How do you manage those kinds of conversations?

KYLE: I mean, it’s all case by case, right? But over the few years I’ve gotten better at gauging people, right? You kind of have to know what they expect, and if you can meet and/or exceed that, then you’re doing well. And then not everybody- you’re not going to be able to win them all. You know, every once in a while I get the, ‘I just bought this car two weeks ago, I want you to buy it back from me and give me a brand new one.’ You know, I can’t-

LORI: Yeah, you can’t. You’re not the guy in charge of that.

KYLE: Kind of a benefit of being at the dealership, you know, part of that, the dealership guy, is that the expectations aren’t always the highest out of everybody. So if I am the guy that- if they say, ‘Oh, whoa, this guy actually does care that my car gets fixed’ if I hit them with immediately, ‘I know you just spent $60,000 in this thing. It’s broken. Let’s get it fixed. I don’t know what it is. We’re going to figure it out and we’re going to make it,’ you know, ‘we’re going to get you right back going.’ Usually that’s that little bit of, kind of caring and understanding, ‘Hey, this sucks. Yeah, I get it. Let’s make it not suck’ is enough to disarm get people to make them happy at the end of the the day.

LORI: So I’m hearing two things. Major amounts of empathy. ‘Oh my God, that does suck.’ And we against the problem. You are not the problem. The problem is over there and you and the customer are over here looking at it. Right? And trying to figure out how to solve it. So it’s we against the problem.

KYLE: That’s something that a lot of service people, at least internally, say is, ‘Hey man, I didn’t make the car.’ Now, I don’t find that’s helpful when I tell- if you’re going to tell a customer that. I don’t do that. But that is what we say internally, and that’s the truth. You know, I didn’t make the car. I didn’t cause the problem. So hey, this really sucks. Let’s figure it out. Let’s get it sorted out. And that, I guess also probably helps. You know, I’m not going to tell folks that in that many words. But also, most people know not to- most, not all, know not to immediately attack me for the problem they’re in.

LORI: So I gotta ask you though, when somebody’s yelling at you, and you know, ‘Hey, I didn’t make the car,’ what thoughts do you think or what do you tell yourself so that you don’t get pulled into the drama?

KYLE: I mean, not to be condescending or anything, but I know that if they’re yelling at me, if they’re yelling and swearing and pitching a fit, they’re being immature about it. Right? You know how to handle somebody that’s like that. I just let them get through it. Again, just keep with the passive, ‘Hey, we’re gonna figure this out. We’re gonna handle, we’re gonna do this, that and the other thing,’ rather than taking it to heart, obviously is not helpful at all. In my experience usually, I find almost every single time, if you just let them let it out, let them kick and scream, you don’t feed back into it, they’re gonna come back and apologize. I can’t count. I can’t count how many people I’ve had kick and scream and swear at me and call me mean names. And then either by the end of the call or the next day, they, ‘Hey Kyle, man, I’m sorry about that. I know you’re trying to help. I got a little bit heated.’ Yeah, you’re good. You just let them get it out of their system, and usually that’s all you need.

LORI: And if you had struck back or gotten defensive, then you’ve taken away that opportunity. Then you’ve taken away the opportunity for them to apologize and say, I’m sorry.

KYLE: Then it’s not me and Mr. Customer against the problem. It’s Mr. Customer against me and the problem. I’m not at odds with the customer ever. If they want to try and make that, it’s not going to happen. I’m not going to allow that. I’m not going to fight with them. It’s not as common as you might make it seem. It doesn’t happen very often, but the few that do get heated, again, as long as they come to the realization that I’m trying to help them, usually they calm down.

LORI: And let’s surface one more time that these are very expensive cars. So when they break down…

KYLE: Yeah, sure. As a representative of the company or whatever, I don’t know how much I should be saying, but Stellantis has had some quality problems. I’ll leave it at that, since-

LORI: All automotive companies have quality problems. Yeah, they really do.

KYLE: Maybe since before the merger. But post the Peugeot Stellantis merger, there have been some quality problems. So there has been a lot of opportunities for me to get through that situation.

LORI: Yeah, and they’re lucky with those kinds of problems- that’s one thing about manufacturing is when you have those kinds of problems, you want people like Kyle on the other end with the customers. Yeah.

KYLE: And I’ve seen my own dealership and also anywhere else where it takes that one shot and, ‘All right, I’m never going to buy a car from this manufacturer ever again. All right, I’m going to go to get my, instead of my Alpha, I’m going to go get my Lexus or my BMW next time. See you later.’ That’s something that happens all the time. Diffusing those situations makes a difference.

28:59

LORI: So sitting where you’re sitting, four and a half years post-pandemic, what advice would you give to somebody just out of college, took that first job because it’s what they could find, they’re not perfectly happy with it… Now what?

KYLE: I mean, keep on searching for sure. Don’t give up on whatever it is you think you’re actually looking for. But also realize more than likely at 21, 22, however old you are when you just got out of college, you don’t actually know what you’re going to be doing. You might have an idea, but you don’t have any idea. You don’t really know what you’re doing, what the future is going to hold. So where you’re at, make the most of it. If you’re flipping hamburgers at McDonald’s, sure, maybe find something else. But more than likely wherever you’ve landed, there are people that have been there longer, that have made careers out of it, that are making good money and have some success. Figure out what they did and what you can do to move in that direction. And if whatever it was you thought you were looking for comes up, then you’ve gotten the experience out of what you were doing and you can move on. There’s no downside to it.

LORI: I think there’s lot to be learned in productivity and in customer service. In most positions, I tell people to focus on what you’re learning. And even if it’s really hellish, and I’ve had hellish jobs, focus on what you’re learning. And when you start to get antsy, look back. Are you still learning? If you are, stay. If you’ve learned everything you can learn there and it really is a hellscape, get out. But if it’s tolerable and you’re still learning and there’s opportunity, stick it out. You never know what could happen, right? That’s what I would say. So, yeah.

So I think that’s what we’ve got for today. Thank you so much, Kyle, for being here. I’m Lori Jo Vest. Again, this is Work Mom Says “Don’t Be an Idiot!” We have a website at workkmomsays.com where we house all of our episodes. We also have a blog there and an intake form. If you have someone that you would like to suggest as a guest, if you would like to be a guest, or if you’d like to submit a question that I should answer on this podcast. Please visit my website at workmomsays.com. I am also an open networker on LinkedIn. I would love to hear from you. And finally, if you are watching this on YouTube, hit the subscribe button, give me a like, and I’ll see you again soon with some more helpful information on how to play the emotional contact sport of business.

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

The post Episode 45: Making the Best of Where You Are appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

WorkMomSays that actively seeking ways to increase your value to your employer and exploring opportunities beyond your current position are key to making more money in 2025. In this episode, discover strategic steps you can take to earn a higher income.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:23 – Making more money in 2025: The importance of increasing your value beyond your current role and making yourself indispensable.

1:19 – It’s about performance, not time: Longevity alone doesn’t guarantee a raise; taking on more responsibility and making your boss’s job easier is crucial.

2:35 – Barriers to promotion: A personal story highlights the importance of developing essential skills like client communication.

5:05 – Exploring side gigs: Consider opportunities such as selling products on platforms like Etsy or taking on seasonal retail work.

6:30 – Commission-based roles: Finding commission opportunities can lead to higher earnings, especially for those initially hesitant about performance-based pay.

8:02 – Increasing your income: Evaluate your job performance, consider changing positions, monetize hobbies, or seek commission roles if feeling financially stuck.

3:35 – “Your current employer knows your strengths, but they also know your weaknesses, and that can be a problem.”

6:04 – “If you have an interest outside of what you do day to day, that you would enjoy something like that, feel free to add that to your roster. A lot of those kinds of positions, it’s commission based.”

7:06 – “I would advise that if you want to make good money, find a position that allows you to get compensated for bringing in business or for encouraging customers to make a purchase…”

8:12 – “Consider whether you’re doing enough at your current position. Consider whether it’s an appropriate time for you to move to a new position. Consider if you have a hobby or a passion you can monetize. Consider if you could take a job that offered commission.”

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:12

Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest, also known as Work Mom. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says “Don’t Be an Idiot!” I am so happy you’re here. Today we are going to talk about what you should be doing in 2025 if you want to make more money. 

A couple of things to talk about. In a lot of cases when people are earlier in their careers, they may not understand that it’s really, really important that if you want to get a raise, you have to make yourself more valuable beyond the position you’re currently holding. 

Business owners and corporations have specific budgets for specific positions based on profitability and operations expenses, etc, etc. And if you can take the salary that you have and the job that you have to the very highest level, so you get to the top of that budget range and the top of the performance range, then you can talk to your boss about getting a raise or a promotion.

1:19

One of the things that I hear people say, as I’ve been doing this job for two years now, “I should get a raise.” It’s not a matter of time. It’s not about time. It’s about more responsibility. It’s about making your boss’s job easier, maybe being that one size fits all person that can volunteer to take on pop up projects. Those are the things that make you valuable to your boss in your current position, and it’s a great way to get a raise, is to just always be on, always have goals, always look toward getting the next promotion in how you perform your current position- you’re setting yourself up for success. 

So what if you’re at the top of the budget range, and you want to make more money, but you know, it’s not going to happen right away? Sometimes your boss is limited. Maybe there’s people that are in the positions they’d like to promote you to, but you’re ready, and that person’s not. Or that person is, you know, firmly ensconced doing a great job and happy. 

There may be some barriers to you rising through the ranks at your current employer. It can happen. What those barriers are? One is that your current employer knows your strengths, but they also know your weaknesses, and that can be a problem. 

2:35

And I’ll give you an example. I had a wonderful employee, probably 12, 15 years ago, absolutely wonderful guy, and he was really wanting to move into the next higher position at the company that would allow us to give him a raise. And he did get a few opportunities. We gave him a few opportunities to sit in that chair, and that position that he wanted to move into required client communication and client collaboration, and that can be difficult for some people, and sometimes early in your career, if you’ve not been trained, it can be really hard to be good at that. And we had allowed this young guy to sit in that chair and be on a project with a client, and it started to go a little south. 

Now, in the business I was in, I was in video production, it wasn’t unusual for there to be little missteps along the way, because we were always trying to bring a client’s vision to life. Creativity is very subjective, so you were always working towards something and asking the client along the way, are we getting there? And sometimes there are blow ups. I mean, you’ve got creative people. Sometimes, you know, a creative producer will have an emotional response to something that they see, that they don’t like. And this particular guy got really defensive when the client said they didn’t like what he had done. 

Oh, it was bad. Let’s just say I had to do a lot of apologizing, and I had to have a meeting with him and go through the reasons that I felt he wasn’t ready to sit in that client-facing spot yet. And he didn’t like what he heard. He didn’t like it. 

And I actually talked to him and said, hey, you know what, one of the things that you may have to do, and I understand it if you do, is move to a different company in order to get the jump that you want to jump. Maybe a different industry, there may be other opportunities out there, but this is what I’ve got for you now. I’m happy to work with you to help you gain those skills. But in my opinion, you’re not quite ready to be in a client facing position independently, yet. Soon as you are, I’ll promote you. Can’t promote you right now. You need to make more money right now, you may have to go somewhere else.

And it was perfectly normal to consider that. I mean, a lot of employers won’t go that far in a conversation with you, but I think they should, because you deserve an honest assessment of what’s happening at the company and what your opportunities are in the next three months, six months, one year. And so that’s one way- be the best employee. 

5:05

The next thing to consider, if you want to make more money is, do you have the opportunity to have a side gig? And I’ll give you an example: I have a client that is making a product that she sells on Etsy. It’s pretty expensive, and she’s doing pretty well, and she’s selling a ton of them. She’s hiring her friends and family members to come over for 25 bucks an hour, help her pack, you know, beautiful packages of her product to go out to her customers. And that’s an opportunity to make a little extra cash. I have a friend who is a huge fan of a designer brand, so let’s just say she’s a big Gucci fan. During the holidays, designer brands need help. So if you are a huge Gucci fan, go to Gucci in December and see if they need assistance, and if you can get on their list to be called in and work the floor at a beautiful Gucci store, or maybe at the Chanel counter. 

If you have an interest outside of what you do day to day, that you would enjoy something like that, feel free to add that to your roster. A lot of those kinds of positions, it’s commission based. So if it’s a product that you are really passionate about, you can hang out with people, talk about the product, make commission, make new friends who come back and buy from you repeatedly, and it’s a kind of a side hustle that can be part time and kind of a passion hobby/source of income. 

6:30

Another thing you can do is consider taking a position that offers commission. And that can be challenging. Some people are afraid of commission. They want, you know, big salary and a little commission. 

And I’ve been guilty of that myself early in my career, I didn’t like big commissions because I was always afraid that I would have those dips in pay and maybe not be able to make my bills. So I was particularly picky about where I worked based on the size of the salary over the commission percentage. And I mean, it worked for me, but I wouldn’t advise it to others. 

Honestly, I would advise that if you want to make good money, find a position that allows you to get compensated for bringing in business or for encouraging customers to make a purchase, or hire a service that you offer. Even if that’s not a direct part of your position, if you can figure out a way to influence customers and potential customers, prospects, do that. And then see if you can get a commission on that, bringing that in. 

It may not happen in a large corporation, but in a lot of smaller to mid sized businesses, if you can become a source of revenue by actually bringing in customers, you can add a percentage to your pay. And that’s not unusual at all. I know we do it at our agency. If you go out and meet somebody and they just end up becoming a client, then you get a little bump in your pay every month for as long as they’re with us. So there’s a lot of things like that that you can do. 

8:02

So if you think you’re stuck in your job, you can’t get a raise, you’re never going to make any more money, and it’s really depressing, it doesn’t have to be. Consider whether you’re doing enough at your current position. Consider whether it’s an appropriate time for you to move to a new position. Consider if you have a hobby or a passion you can monetize. Consider if you could take a job that offered commission. 

So those are four ways that you can increase your income in 2025. Work Mom says, you have it in you. If you want to succeed and you want to make good money and you’re willing to be as productive as you can, set goals, meet those goals, every day, you will be successful in your career. It’s just inevitable. It’s how it works. 

Because a lot of people out there are calling it in, they’re phoning it in, they are not showing up. They’re in the Zoom call, but their mics are off and their cameras are off and they’re not paying attention. Be the person that stands out, because you do want to be productive and successful and have strong relationships, and that will help you make more money this year and many years into the future. 

9:09

So that’s what I’ve got for you today. Again, I’m Lori Jo Vest. I have a website at workmomsays.com where I house my podcast episodes. You can also listen to me on my podcast on those standard channels, iTunes, Spotify, etc, and I am an open networker on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you there. 

Please give me a subscribe and a like. Comment, tell me what you think, I’d love to hear from you. I’m always willing to consider ideas for guests and topics, answer questions. There is a contact page on my website at workmomsays.com. I would love to hear from you. So take care, I’ll be back to talk to you again soon.

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 44: New Year, More Money appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

#WorkMomSays that the quality of your work – both who you are at work and your work product – determines your success. In this episode, learn just how important the quality of your presentation and relationships as well as your work output are when building a solid career.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

2:30 – Presentation is everything: ALWAYS remember that you are being paid to behave on behalf of your employer, and that means representing your company with positivity and professionalism.
5:30 – Mood management: Paying attention to your behavior at the office will help you grow past emotions so that your emotions are no longer controlling you. When it’s inappropriate to express them, you put them aside.
8:30 – Improve quality of your work: Is your work accurate, is it thorough, and are you making the effort to produce quality work at all times?
10:00 – Don’t just get it done: Meeting deadlines is important, but making sure your work is the best it can possibly be while meeting deadlines is way more important.

3:40 – “You are being paid to be there, and you’re also being paid to build productive, effective relationships with the team, and that’s something that a lot of people miss.”
5:10 – “It’s really good for your humanity to be forced to be patient with people, to be forced to be compassionate, and that’s one of the things that paying attention to your behavior at the office will help you do. It will help you grow past emotions, so that your emotions are no longer controlling you. You control them, and when it’s inappropriate to express them, you put them aside.”
6:15 – “Self-awareness will serve you really well in managing the quality of your behavior at work.”
10:00 – “However, the best way to think of it is to make sure it is done and done well. And that takes a little bit longer. It takes more effort, it takes more focus. It takes proofing.”
10:50 – “It’s a competition in some ways, not necessarily direct, but it can be a competition, and your behavior and how you present is one aspect of it, and your quality of your work is another.”

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:00
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. I have been doing this podcast, I think, for three or four years now. I really love to share what helped me rise through the ranks in my career and helped me get to new levels of success regularly.

So that’s what this podcast is about. I want to teach you how to play the emotional contact sport of business because it is an emotional contact sport. There are things that will stand in your way. There are emotions that you will have that will cause you to perhaps behave in a way that is not as productive as you should be if you want to succeed in your career.

So there are a lot of things we can talk about, but today, I want to talk about the quality of your work and how and why that’s so important. There are so many people that come through companies that are early in their career that you can tell they just don’t get it. And by that, I mean they’re still in the college mindset, or they’re still in the mindset of, you know, I am myself everywhere I go, I behave the same way everywhere I go.

01:30
While that may sound appealing and it may sound like the advice people are giving you when they say, be authentic, it’s really not. When you are in a work situation, you are being paid to act and behave on behalf of that company. So if you keep that in mind at all times that you are representing your employer during business hours and at business events, you will behave in a more strategic fashion.

And one of the things that that means is you will look at the quality of your work, and for this episode, I want to talk about the quality of your work in both your presentation and how you behave and how you talk and build relationships at work, as well as the quality of the actual work you’re doing.

Say you’re a copywriter, you’re a welder, you’re a mechanic, you’re a customer service person. So there’s two different aspects to this. One is how you present, and when I talk about the quality of your presentation, again, think about it this way, you are being paid to behave on behalf of your employer, and with that comes some responsibility, and the the more you represent that brand, with positivity, professionalism,

03:00
You want to be able to express the culture. you want to be what I call on, and what that means is you are presenting your best self, your best behavior, so that when someone comes up to you in the middle of your day, they can interrupt you in the middle of something.

You’ll say, “oh, excuse me, just one minute. Let me just finish this one thing,” and then give them your full attention and be positive, even though you may be slightly annoyed. That’s not how you will present, and that’s not how you will behave.

You are being paid to be there, and you’re also being paid to build productive, effective relationships with the team, and that’s something that a lot of people miss. I’ve seen it, and if you pay attention to this podcast and other career advice resources, you’re going to hear a lot about your behavior and how you think plays into your behavior.

04:00
So for example, I just gave you a story of someone or a time when you might be really annoyed because somebody interrupted you and you were on deadline, and oh, my God, you’re late. And and so you feel that bit of emotion coming up based on the fact that you are wanting to be a stellar employee and wanting to rise through the ranks of the company.

To be successful in what you’re doing, that bit of emotion would be put to the side, because, again, you’re being paid to behave and a certain way, and by managing how you feel, it’s easier to behave your way to success.

So for example, it can be so annoying when somebody, for example, I mean, I was talking to my husband earlier today, and there was a guy I used to work with that if you asked him a question, maybe he had to explain a process to you, and it was eight steps long, and you got to the fourth step and you had a question,he couldn’t answer your question without going all the way back to the first step and going through it, 1234, now, this man knew his stuff.

5:00
He was so valuable and had such a incredible depth of technical knowledge that you had to put aside that annoyance and just be patient. And honestly, it’s really good for your your humanity to be forced to be patient with people, to be forced to be compassionate, and that’s one of the things that being paying attention to your behavior at the office will help you do it will help you grow past emotions so that your emotions are no longer controlling you. You control them, and when it’s inappropriate to express them, you put them aside.

That’s the kind of thing you want to learn in order to have quality in your work relationships. It’s really important. It’s called mood management. Emotion management. It’s basically getting to know yourself and then pushing your own limits.

How much can I reframe what’s happening in this difficult situation, and act in a way that’s positive and creates a connection, even in high conflict. I mean, I have been in really high conflict situations in the office. It happens. Mistakes are made.

6:00
People get angry, people get sad. You know, people have emotional breakdowns. People get depressed. I mean, things happen that are related to emotions in the workplace. So you want to focus and on learning about that aspect of yourself.

Self awareness will serve you really well in the quality of your behavior and managing the quality of your behavior at work. So that’s part one.

Part two of this is the quality of your actual work. And what I mean by that is, if you’re an accountant, do you turn your reports in on time? Are they accurate? Are they thorough? Do they follow all the accounting rules? Do you turn them in on time in the format that your employer desires.

07:00
If you’re a copywriter, are you putting in your best effort to write really good copy in the right voice? If you’re a journalist, are you digging deep to find more information, instead of just writing the who, what, when, where? Why are you going deeper than that so that you’re writing something that has more meaning. If you’re a musician, are you practicing enough? Are you really focused?

If you are the front desk receptionist, are you presenting a solid, wonderful face for the company that you represent at the front door? The people that man those front desks and security stations, in my opinion, never get the right amount of attention and kudos, because when if they’re going to do it, well, it requires someone who can just consistently be on and just say good morning every day, remember names, make an effort.

And you can see how that making an effort to to produce quality work plays out in several different types of job categories, so the quality of your work is really important. You are in a competition with other people that want to get that same boost up the career ladder that you do, and if your work isn’t at the highest quality, you won’t get there.

8:30
So what can you do to improve the quality of your work? I’ve got a couple great tips as a writer, and I know this is just as effective for people in accounting, other aspects of business, problem solvers. If you feel like you’ve come up with the best solution, you’ve written the best thing of copy you can in your first draft, your first attempt, and you think you’re done,

You’re maybe not done. Maybe go away from the job for a couple hours, turn to another project for a couple of hours, and take your attention focus off of that particular thing so that you can come back and see it with fresh eyes.

9:00
And in a lot of situations, not just copy, but, you know, in all kinds of business situations, maybe a letter to a client, maybe you’re developing a report, you’re doing an Excel spreadsheet, or you are, you know, building a frame for a door.

You may find that when you come back with fresh eyes, you see something you didn’t see before that could make it better, or that could correct a mistake, or make it more efficient, make you look better. And it’s really important, especially early in your career, that those details get attention.

I have some new people on my team. I always have new people on my team, and there are constant situations where the new person turns back in a work product, and I look at it and there’s typos and there’s maybe some, maybe it’s not quite what was spelled out in the written instructions.

10:00
People can very, very easily get in the habit of focusing on getting the work done, and that’s a great thing. I mean, the work has to be done. You’ve got to meet your deadlines. However, the best way to think of it is to make sure it is done and done well. And that takes a little bit longer. It takes more effort, it takes more focus. It takes proofing.

If you’re a welder, you don’t just slap the stuff on there and you’re okay, I’m done, and keep moving, because people will see that weld. You want it to be the best possible weld? If that means you have to practice, if that means you have to get advice, you have to research materials or temperatures.

Then, as a person who is career oriented and wants to do better in their career and make more money, you will practice and you will do that extra work that makes your work shine above your competitors, because that’s what the work world really is.

It’s a competition in some ways, not necessarily direct, but it can be a competition, and your behavior and how you present is one aspect of it, and your quality of your work is another. And I’ll tell you something really funny. I had a client that had a young assistant that they hired, and this woman was just delightful to talk to.

11:30
She was so positive, and she was so gracious and pleased and thank you and and we really enjoyed working with her the first few weeks. And as time went by, we realized that she wasn’t really doing the work the way she was supposed to be doing the work. It was thrown together. It was late. She would forget.

And when you confronted her on it, she was so sweet. I mean, just sweet as can be, so you’d feel bad being angry at her. And I used to threaten my team, because they would get really mad at this woman, because they had to create newsletters and and do work based on what she gave them, and it was always like, half done or lots of errors or not done at all.

And so they really struggled with her. But I was the only one that was ever on a call with her, and I used to threaten the team I’m going to make you get on the call with, let’s call her Sharon, so that you can see how perplexing it is to work with someone who presents so well and is So, you know, fun and kind, but whose work product is horrific, but you couldn’t hate her.

So, I mean, there’s just some really interesting situations. You don’t want to be that person who does, you know, really crappy work, but everybody likes them, because really crappy work will not keep you at your job, and it also will not get you that promotion or that higher-paying new job. Part of your reputation is your behavior and your presentation.

13:00
The other half is the quality of your work. So work mom says that over and over and over again, the quality of your presentation, who you are, how you behave, the relationships you have, deserves just as much emphasis as doing the best quality work you can, putting in the extra effort, showing up early, meeting your deadlines, asking the right questions, those two things together will make you soar. I swear it’s just amazing.

When I meet a young person that has both sides of that coin, they’re unstoppable. So you want to be unstoppable too. So keep following me.

If you’re watching this on YouTube, I would love it if you would give me a subscribe and hit that like button and maybe even share something that I said that you, that resonated with you.

14:00
I also have a website at workmomsays.com and that is where I share all the episodes of my podcast as well as, you know, helpful articles. And I have a contact form there if you’d like to get in touch with me. And last but not least, LinkedIn, I’m an open networker there. Would love to hear from you. Just let me know that you know that you are a listener to the work. Mom says, podcast and YouTube channel, so thanks again. I will see you again soon.

This podcast is for young professionals who want to learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 43: The Quality of Your Work Determines Your Career Success appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

In this episode, Work Mom Lori Jo Vest discusses the importance of workplace politics and relationships. Her main piece of advice? Prioritize creating positive, connected relationships and exhibiting strategic behavior in the workplace.

She offers many ways to play the emotional contact sport of business, from being cautious about joining companies with toxic politics to the importance of conflict resolution, emotional management, and building alliances with power players.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

00:28 – You must make connected, positive relationships a priority in the workplace
02:42 – Be mindful of joining an organization where the leadership team has romantic relationships. It may indicate a toxic business culture.
04:03 – When you go into a new company, find the power players and align with them by creating strategic relationships with them.
06:10 – When emotions rise, step back so you can come back when you’re calm and manage the situation strategically.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

Hello. I’m Lori Jo Vest, also known as Work Mom, and I am here to talk to you today about workplace politics. There’s so much they don’t tell us when we start a new job or a new career, and politics is important. There’s a lot to be said for your relationships at the office, and those relationships will either serve you or hold you back.

One of the things that I will say right up front is that it’s critical that you make connected, positive relationships a priority in the workplace. Anybody that you work with, even if you socialize with them as well, the positivity of that relationship, the level of connection that person feels with you, how well they feel they know you, how authentic you are. Can they trust you?

Those factors are really critical to being successful in your job and in your career. So politics. What is it in the workplace? What does that even mean? It means basically the unspoken dynamics. Whenever you have a group of people working together, there will be a power structure. There will be power struggles. There will be people who truly believe that they know more than others. There are people who truly may know more than others who don’t think they know that much. There will be people with big egos who want to come in and take over because they know their way is the right way. There will be people who will be sideways with how they get things done and how they get their way. It’s really interesting.

One of the most critical things you can do at the beginning of your career, throughout your career, and especially at the beginning of any new job, is to be very strategic in how you think and be intentional in what you do.
So when you get into a situation in a meeting where it seems like you may be going in a direction that you know is not going to serve the client or the company or your job, do you say something, or don’t you? That depends on the strategic answer.

Sometimes, in a meeting like that, you would say, “Hey, you know what, guys? I have a devil’s advocate perspective. I’d love to share,” and share your perspective. But there are other times when maybe you know that the people in charge don’t want to hear it, and it’s just going to backfire on you when you may choose not to do that.
The power dynamics in a workplace are really important. One of the things that I would advise you to look for while you’re getting a job or considering a new job or a new company is look at the relationships among the leadership team.

Often in smaller organizations, you will see maybe not often, but sometimes you’ll see bosses that are in relationships, romantic relationships, with members of their team, never a good idea, never a good situation. In most cases, there’s a power dynamic there that has led to boundaries being broken.

A boss should never have an affair with someone who works for them. If you know of that happening at your company, probably a really good indicator that the politics there are toxic, that people who show well, like, you know, the show ponies, or what one of my friends used to call the High School Musical cast, um, those people may be in control because they show well, while the people who do really good work but don’t have those connections to the power players may be shoved to the side and may not get the career kudos or The the promotions and accolades that they should get.

So when you enter a new company, look into who those players are and get to know your coworkers. Hold some things back. If there are things that may make you controversial at the beginning of an employment engagement, you may just hold on to those things a little bit and be strategic and intentional in everything you say and do. Build some allies.

One of the things that’s really, really helpful is to have people on the team that you’re close to that you maybe every morning, you come in at the same time and you get your coffee and or you’re, you know, the first ones on the Zoom meeting. So you have a little bit of conversation and get to know each other a little bit. You can also have lunch outside of the office or coffee outside of the office to get to know people who can help you. Don’t go for the sad sex in that situation. Don’t build your ally ships and relationships with people who are not performing well or are known to be difficult. Make your allies among the power players. So really look at ways that you can build relationships with those people that you can tell people look up to because you want to be among that crowd. You want to be seen as one of those people.

And other things that come up in workplace situations that would be considered political would be how you handle conflicts. Conflicts at the workplace are so challenging sometimes because someone can push your buttons, trigger all your trauma, and you have no idea how they did it.

They just came in; they reminded you of your nasty stepmother, or maybe a friend of yours, that the relationship went sour. You know, those kinds of people. You’ll see them at work, and they will cause conflict, and they will, you know, bring disagreement. How you handle those conflicts, and disagreements, and the things that they do that might not be pleasant or expected will determine your success in that workplace. You never want to burn a bridge.
So, in any conversation where you feel the emotions rising, you can’t play politics. When emotion goes up, logic goes down; playing office politics, which is a necessity in any workplace, is absolutely necessary. Playing politics by being negative never works. Going through a conflict and letting somebody have it and burning that bridge never works if you don’t have conflict resolution skills. There are books you can read, there are counselors you can go to, there are mentors that will help you with that you want to be sure that in a conflict situation at work, you can manage your emotions to the point where you can look at what the person’s trying to get from the conversation, instead of taking what they’re saying or doing personally.

And you know, I’ll give you an example. I had a co-worker that was just really quiet. And I thought, after, you know, three or four weeks sitting next to each other, she never talked to me. And I thought, maybe she just doesn’t like me. And there are 65 things you can do when you feel like someone doesn’t like you. You can gossip about it to somebody else. Do you know her to show that I don’t think she likes me? You can keep that thought in your head and say, “Oh man, she really doesn’t like me. I better be careful.”

Or you can get curious. In conflict situations, getting curious is the best thing you can do if someone asks you to do something that maybe there’s a deadline that you know you can’t meet.

Instead of getting angry and causing something ugly in that conflict, stop for a minute and think; get curious. Are there any other solutions out there that I can suggest besides doing exactly what this person wants, which I know is impossible, but they don’t want to hear no.

When someone comes to you with work on a tight deadline, they often do not want to hear no. So, just by saying, oh, gosh, not sure if I can do that. You’re causing a conflict. So when I say conflict, think of it that way. It’s not like people raging at each other. It’s more like just the little things that happen that can get people upset over the course of a business day. So, never burn a bridge during those conflict situations. Always look at the problem from the same side as your coworker or your client. So it’s not the two of you arguing with each other and going against each other; it’s the two of you looking at the problem and going, huh, together. How can we solve this? That is a sure way to resolve and negotiate conflict in a way that helps everybody see all the different facets and come to a collaborative decision. It really, really works. It’s not a conflict between the two of you. It’s a conflict between the two of you and the problem.

So keep that one in mind. There are times when you don’t want to play the game, even though office politics can feel like a great big game; you know that you have to make the right decisions and, you know, be strategic and move the right way and say the right thing to be successful.

There are times when you will not want to go along, and in most cases, that’s if somebody’s asking you to do something illegal, they’re asking you to do something immoral, or they’re asking you to, you know, to tell an untruth, to lie, cheat, steal, any of those kinds of things. If that is part of the culture of the office where you are playing those political games, get out. So keep your head down and start looking for that next job, because in some of those types of situations, you may think if you play along, it’ll be okay, but you could also become the target, people can target you and say you caused that problem, even if you were just going along and it was never your idea to do any of the illegal, immoral, untruthful things.

So it’s always best to stay away from those situations. Find yourself another job if that’s what’s happening. And finally, one of the things that people talk about a lot is being authentic in the office, which means that you should bring your full self to work. And I 100% agree that being authentic has so much value when you are showing your true personality and being you know your true self and expressing your honesty, your honest thoughts, you know who you are as a human being, people will be more likely to trust you, and that’s really important in business relationships.

However, don’t just bring yourself; bring your best self. So if there are things that you might do in talking to your sister or your husband that are a little snarky or a little sarcastic, that might be a side of your authenticity that you don’t want to bring to the office.

Dry humor is great. Sarcasm, anything that could be construed as being hurtful, not so great. So when people tell you to be yourself, be yourself, but be your most strategic, best self, and that’s really the best place to start if you’re playing office politics. So that’s all I’ve got for you today. Thank you so much for listening, and I will be back soon with a guest or two and some more career tidbits to help you climb the corporate ladder and play the emotional contact sport of business.

If you watch this on YouTube, please hit that subscribe button for me. Give me a like, give me a comment. I am an open networker on LinkedIn, I’d love to hear from you there.

I am an open networker on LinkedIn. I’d love to hear from you there. I also have a website at work. Mom says.com, you can contact me there if you’d like to suggest a guest or you have a question or a topic you’d like me to cover, looking forward to connecting with you, and I will be back soon with some great advice and information. Take care.

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 42: Office Politics for Beginners appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

Trying to level up your personal and professional lives? Try putting an emphasis on growth in both areas, and you’ll grow your career success, too. In this episode, Lori Jo Vest shares ways you can become a lifelong learner and feed your mind with great information that will help you live a life you love.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

1:01 – While growth may start as setting goals or making plans for your future, it can become a positive addiction to growing your skills and mastering your emotions
2:21 – The impact of cultural and familial conditioning on one’s mindset and the importance of changing these beliefs
9:49 – The benefits of therapy for emotional growth and managing difficult client relationships
13:36 – Feeding your mind with quality literature, music, and other forms of intellectual stimulation
16:20 – The importance of surrounding oneself with positive and supportive people

1:23 – I frequently say I’m addicted to personal growth. I am. I’m always looking to learn something new, to try something new, to jump in with both feet, with new technology, with new marketing tools, things like that, because it’s exciting. It’s interesting to live a life that has variety in it and that challenges you.
3:38 – The Landmark Forum basically teaches you that there’s what happens in your life, and there’s the story you tell yourself about what happened, and your power lies in that story.
11:16 – If you’re struggling with emotions, because sometimes it can be so challenging for us to unpack what it is in our heads that is causing us to be so angsty or to feel so much discomfort in a difficult client exchange. So therapy is a really great thing

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:00
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest, also known as Work Mom. Thank you so much for being here for this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot.

Today, I want to talk about personal and professional growth and the value of becoming a lifelong learner. One of the things that I picked up in my thirties that I highly recommend is that you make a commitment to both your personal and your professional growth.

If you want to hit the goals you’ve set for yourself, if you want to excel in life, if you want to experience new and different things, have challenging work, express your passions, make a difference in the world, all those things that so many of us aspire to, yet many do not.

01:00
Taking a mindset of continuous learning and continuous personal and professional growth will serve you well. If you don’t have it yet, get started. And I can promise you that what starts out as goal setting or you know, maybe a chore can turn into kind of an addiction.

And I personally, I frequently say I’m addicted to personal growth. I am, I’m always looking to learn something new, to try something new to jump in with both feet. with new technology with new marketing tools things like that because it’s exciting, it’s interesting to live a life that has variety in it and that challenges you.

Focusing on that growth and developing a continuous growth mindset will be really helpful as you seek to either you know fly up the corporate ladder and become a C-level executive or maybe you want to become an entrepreneur or you want to become an independent you know millionaire there’s all kinds of ways to get there so if you have big goals get started by focusing on your personal professional growth.

02:00
And I’m going to tell you a little bit about some of the things that I did. Early on in my thirties, I had a good friend that suggested that I take this personal development course called Landmark. And the company that runs it is called Landmark Education. They are all over the world. And they do amazing things when it comes to changing how you think.

We are conditioned, or as one of my favorite authors would say, domesticated into thinking that we have to be a certain way, act a certain way, perform a certain way, learn a certain way, and that our past has a huge impact on who we are now and we’ll never reach those goals because they’re just too hard. So we get conditioned by our culture, by our family, by the people we are surrounded by.

And what Landmark did for me, they have two courses that I did, I could have done more, but I felt good about the two I did. And that was enough, called the Landmark Forum. And what’s the other one? Landmark Forum and I have to go look that up. So the two courses that Landmark offers are the Landmark Forum and the Advanced course. They have others as well, but I didn’t take any of those. I was good with the two that I took.

03:00
So the Landmark Forum What I recommended to everybody, probably not because it’s a specific type of in your face training that forces you to confront all kinds of things. And if you’re not open minded and open hearted enough or strong enough when you do it, I don’t know how it would work for you. I know it worked for me. I was in a great place.

And the forum basically teaches you that there’s what happens in your life, and there’s the story you tell yourself about what happened. And your power lies in that story. You can look at your past as something that drags you down. You’re a victim. And you may have been a victim of something horrific.

Trust me, I understand that. Speaking from personal experience, I’ve had several traumatic experiences and people that have done horrific things to me. And I’m not a victim. But society may encourage you to be a victim and kind of wallow in it when you have the power of not doing that.

04:00
And Landmark Forum basically taught me to let go of all those rocks I was holding on to. as I went through life and tried to do better, be a better person. And one of the ways they did it that was absolutely hilarious, but it kind of explains it. This seems like something that wouldn’t work, but it did.

There were one hundred and eighty people in this room. sitting in those really uncomfortable conference center chairs that we’ve all sat in. And the room has, you know, the fluorescent lights and those funky ceiling panels and the rooms, the carpeting is kind of ick, and it’s just it’s just very, very, very basic. It’s not meant to be comfortable. And honestly, I think they do that on purpose because if you’re too comfortable, you’re not growing. I mean, that’s just kind of a fact of life. If you’re too comfortable, you are not growing.

So anyway, so you go in there with all these people and they do you do several different exercises over the course of three solid days, all day Friday from like nine in the morning till nine o’clock at night, all day Saturday from maybe ten o’clock in the morning till ten o’clock at night. And most of the day on Sunday. And it gets grueling. It really does.

05:00
However, they have you do these exercises, all different kinds, several of them throughout those days. And one of them that really stuck with me was they had you spend twenty minutes writing about something that you were suffering about. And I was suffering about my ex-husband. I was in the middle of a divorce and I wrote just this big long thing to keep writing, keep writing. You’d start writing, you know, you’d think you’d told your story.

They say, no, keep writing, keep writing. And you just write and write and write. And you’d have maybe five or six pages of, you know, things that were really awful and that you were suffering about. It was just horrific. You know, when I was writing mine, I was crying and people were next to me were crying and people were looking angry. And I mean, it was a really big deal.

And then they tell you to stay. They partner you up. They tell you to partner up with someone sitting near you that you don’t know and move your chairs together so that you’re facing each other. So you’ve got all these people and, you know, little twosomes. And then one person listens while the other person reads their story.

06:00
I had five pages. I read the whole five pages. I’m crying. This poor person sitting across from me is just like listening, trying to be empathetic, I’m sure. And I’m reading it over and over and over. And by the time I read it maybe six times, seriously, I was looking at that paper and going, “what is my problem? oh my god I’ve been suffering about this.”

All it took was was writing out your story and then reading it in that context to another human being who doesn’t know you for your brain to kind of go wait a minute this is this is truly a story. You don’t have to tell it that way and it changed the way I thought about the past and also the present. It means that if somebody acts ugly to you you’ve got a myriad of ways that you can respond because you can tell yourself a different story.

07:00
For example, I have a really difficult client right now and I at the beginning of the relationship was getting a little snippy I was feeling uncomfortable and micromanaged and I was really struggling with it and my landmark training came back to my mind.

Keep in mind landmark was years ago and it still exists, but I took my landmark courses twenty five years ago and this person that I’m working with is now someone over the last nine months I’ve been really working on being what I call intentional with her.

Because I want to be intentional in how I respond to any comments she makes anything she says that are, you know, is worrisome. And since then, I’ve completely changed how I look at her and I just don’t see or hear any of the negative tones and things or if I do notice that I laugh, I don’t get angry and you know, get defensive, I just laugh.

08:00
So being intentional is something you can do when you realize that there’s what happens and the story you tell yourself about what happens. So there were tons of other exercises around those types of topics at the Landmark Forum.

And the next course is the advanced course, which talks about your future. Instead of thinking that you’ve got to chase your dreams and run toward it and it’s so hard you’ll never get there, they teach you to experience it now, basically. Feel the feelings, look at what you really want, be clear about it, and then pull yourself toward it. Behave your way toward that goal.

And again, it’s a different way of looking at your future. By visualizing it really strongly and then pulling it toward you with your actions and your thoughts, you realize that goals don’t have to be hard. You can start experiencing the joy of having achieved that goal now And believe it or not, I’m not sure how it works. It could be your subconscious mind, it could be the universal energy, it could be anything, but it will bring it towards you.

09:00
So my whole point in talking about landmark is that landmark courses really helped me up level my internal conversation, so that I knew that learning could be life changing. Personal growth could be life changing. And so I really got on the path. I think I was about thirty seven at that point. So don’t wait that don’t wait as long as I did. But I was about thirty seven.

And since then, I have decided, you know, pretty much to experience new things, do new things, try new things and create a life that I love, that I enjoy. And I have managed to do that by just continually looking for that next way of growing, learning, being a better human being.

Another example of that is therapy. If you are in a emotional state, you’re having difficulty playing the emotional context sport of business because your emotions are getting in the way. The example I shared earlier with about this client, I was struggling with my emotions and I’ve been doing this sales thing for a really long time. And I was really struggling. I was having a hard time being friendly and professional and kind, which is what you’re expected to do in business.

10:00
And as a result, I had to concentrate on being intentional with all my interactions and continually reminding myself that this was a client whose work I really, really enjoy doing. So I have to tell you the landmark work help work really helped me in that.

So if therapy is something that you think you might benefit from, give it a try. Psychologytoday.com has an amazing directory of therapists. I just found my therapist there about a year and a half ago. And it’s a really good thing to do if you’re struggling with emotions because sometimes it can be so challenging for us to unpack what it is in our heads that is causing us to be so angsty or to feel so much discomfort in a difficult client exchange.

So therapy is a really great thing and you can find affordable therapists. There are therapists out there that will do sliding scale billing or negotiate a rate for you if your insurance doesn’t cover it. So that is always a good thing to do. If you don’t find the right therapist the first time, find a different one until you find that person that you mesh well with.

11:00
And it really does give you an educated, objective outsider point of view on your thoughts and feelings so that you can maybe call yourself out on things. Sometimes we have distorted thoughts. We are thinking things that aren’t true. It’s called cognitive distortion,s and cognitive distortions can be dangerous. They can really get you in trouble. And we don’t want that.

You know, they can get you in trouble at the workplace. You’re assuming that, you know, cognitive An example of a cognitive distortion at work would be your coworker came in and sat down next to you. They were a little huffy and they slammed down their lunch and they ran off. And you’re thinking, oh my God, what did I do to make them mad? And you’re going into that mode where you think they’re mad at you, but the reality is they’re not. They’re not mad at you. They just had a really bad morning.

12:00
And, you know, those kinds of things can get you in trouble at the office because you can feel like, you know, you’re always kind of on guard. Maybe you’re a sensitive human being. I’m highly sensitive.

I can struggle with trying to determine how someone’s thinking so I know how to behave so I keep them happy. That’s not your job. Keeping other people is not your job. keeping other people happy is not your job. And so getting the kind of help that you need some, you know, mental tuning up, as I would call it, is always a good idea.

Other things you can do that will keep you moving in the right direction are reading books. I discovered that I am ADHD. I didn’t know that. Women frequently don’t get diagnosed until later in life. And I have a book that my therapist recommended that is a workbook that I’ve been going through and learning a ton about it so that I can kind of compensate, put some guardrails around myself and function in a more organized fashion. I say I’m a chaos monster. So if you’re a chaos monster, you might want to check and see if ADHD is somewhere up there in your head too.

13:00
So what else can you do for personal growth? Create some supportive habits. One of the ways I’m really supporting myself is waking up every morning and doing affirmations. I worked with a health coach for a month and decided that doing some affirmations in the morning as part of that effort would set me up for a better mindset for my day.

And that’s really helpful when you get up and you say, I am a divine child of the universe. I am loved and protected by the universe and I am creating financial abundance or financial stability for my family and I am a loving and intelligent and productive human being that deserves all the good that I can muster.

When you put those kinds of things in writing and you write five or six times each of those sentences, it sticks with you throughout the day it really does. It helps you get in a mindset that is boosted as soon as you start.

14:00
Feed your mind in whatever way you can. Sometimes that means listening to classical music, watching the top one hundred movies, reading really good literature, solid, really wonderful literature. ingesting quality art is an amazing way to grow as a human being because you get different perspectives.

With reading and audio books, you can, you know, really increase your vocabulary and your speaking and writing ability. Listening to fantastic music is just so good for your mind and your emotions. I find that if I need to be productive, I can put on a certain kind of music. There is a type of music called binaural beats that’s really good for meditating and, you know, creating, ideating something if you’re trying to be creative and you want to come up with an idea.

15:00
So there’s all kinds of different ways to support your personal growth and professional development. And whatever ways you can, make sure you’ve got at least one of those initiatives going on at all times. I would just make that a habit.

Maybe join a masterminds group. Those are really great for pushing you to grow in the direction that you want to go. Because if you’re in a masterminds group, you’re able to share your hopes and dreams, and the people that are in that group with you, provided you’ve got a really strong group, will help push and motivate and inspire you to get there. So again, personal growth and development, have a supportive group of people around you

I’ve heard it said, and I really firmly believe it’s true that you are, you personally are the result of the five people you spend most of your time with. If you are spending your time with people that are negative, that demean you, that drag you down, that cause you emotional upset, you need to change out those people.

16:00
Trust me, you need to change out those people. I’ve done it. I’ve had some situations in my life where I was in just toxic relationships, either with a boss, a family member, a coworker, and removing yourself from it instead of continuing to try to make it better or try to figure out why you’re maybe being mistreated.

Just walk away, find a new job, you know, be less available to those friends and family members, or just cut them out entirely. Because you cannot grow if you are surrounded by or impacted by people that want to drag you down and pull you back it’s just not a good thing for anybody so take that seriously.

17:00
If you’ve got somebody in your life that’s really causing you all kinds of emotional upset figure out what to do about it it’s you know don’t let it go on for years because it can and it will um if you set your up such as it can and it will if you set yourself up for that.

That’s what I’ve got for you today. Thank you so much for listening. If you are watching on YouTube, please hit that subscribe button. Give me a like, give me a comment. I’d love to hear from you. I am an open networker on LinkedIn and you can reach me there at Lori Jo Vest.

And I also have a website at WorkMomSays.com that has all kinds of great information, lots of episodes, even the early ones where we were just really silly and just had a lot of fun, as well as some great resources. I have a book that’s on Amazon as well. It makes a great gift for college students and newly minted young professionals. So that’s what I have. Thanks so much for joining me. I’ll see you again soon.

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 41: The Power of Personal & Professional Growth for Career Success appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

Are you struggling to determine your career path? Career Dad and Work Mom are here to help! Career Dad Kerry Doyle joins us to talk about his work helping young people find their passion and career BEFORE dropping thousands of dollars on college OR if you just don’t feel like college is right for you.

From networking to prioritizing your passions to the many ways to get to know an industry before you enter it, we cover a ton of ground.

Expert Guest: Kerry Doyle, the Career Dad

What He Does: He helps parents and teens explore their intended career path before wasting thousands of dollars on college tuition. He’s not anti-college, but he helps young people consider the many career avenues available since college isn’t the best choice for everybody.

Connect: You can find him on LinkedIn and his website

Timestamped inflection points from the show

4:00 – Normalizing career uncertainty: Knowing your career calling in your twenties is VERY uncommon. It’s better to explore what you might be interested in to find the right fit rather than search for that perfect career.
9:00 – College isn’t always the right choice: From trade schools to excellent jobs that don’t require degrees, there are tons of options out there. College may not be the right choice for you; it’s just a matter of doing your homework and exploring your options. Kerry can help you do that!
10:00 – The importance of self-discovery: Strengthfinder assessments, career counselors, and talking to people in your intended industry are great ways to figure out the right career path for you.
18:00 – Handling rejection and career stress: Consider rejections as learning experiences. Take the lessons learned, learn to pivot or shift directions, and keep it moving.
23:00 – Skill-building > job titles: Entry-level jobs and jobs that aren’t your dream job can be the best option because they teach you tons of skills AND can get your foot in the door. Don’t turn down a job just because it isn’t perfect.

6:40 – Kerry: My advice is to look for that experience beforehand, before you make the investment. I’m not against college. Do some homework before college, something that you’re not used to doing. Get out of your comfort zone. And don’t assume that college is always the right choice.
7:30 – Kerry: We’re responsible for our careers, our own lives. It’s not the teachers and parents anymore. It’s us.
10:00 – Kerry: You can connect with them digitally, you know, through LinkedIn or something, but explore and get in conversations with people, go meet with them in person or through Zoom or something, and find out what it’s really like.
12:00 – Kerry: There are a few reasons I wouldn’t put all my weight into the assessments. One, it’s a snapshot in time and our personalities and our interests change over time. It’s also based on theory. Yes, it’s based on statistics and behavior and surveys and other things, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to sync up with you.
14:00 – Lori: A good career counselor is probably an even better option. Someone who can sit with you and ask you questions like, do you like to make things with your hands? Are you a woodworking kind of person as a hobby? Well, then maybe skilled trades would be a good place for you.
18:00 – Kerry: You take those moments that are difficult and you look at them as learning experiences and say, okay, I need to strengthen that or maybe shift here, pivot here, whatever. But it’s all a data point.
20:00 – Lori: One of the things that I would suggest people do is find people in the industry that you think you’re interested in. Connect with people either that you know or on LinkedIn and ask for an informational interview.
22:00 – Kerry: Anything new to us can be scary, and it usually is. But that fear gets magnified the longer we think about it, the longer we overanalyze it. Once you take the action, that fear gets reduced. And the more action you take, that fear gets reduced and reduced and reduced to zero.
23:00 – Kerry: If you get to know more people, whether they have an opening or not, they will refer you to somebody else when they hear of an opening. So the side door, the stepping stone jobs, that’s more likely to happen than going to a job posting and saying, oh, there’s my perfect job. I’m going to apply for it and get it.

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:00
Lori
Hello, everybody. I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. Today, my guest is Kerry Doyle. And Kerry is starting a business called Career Dad, right? Is that what it’s called? TheCareerDad.com. Yes, Career Dad. TheCareerDad.com.

And so what we want to talk about today is how it can be really difficult to find the right career path when you’re just out of high school or in your early twenties. So we’re going to focus on what happens after you’ve graduated.

Maybe your friends went off to college or maybe you went off to college and decided it wasn’t for you. Or maybe you’ve been out of college for a few years and you still haven’t found that sweet spot where you belong, you make good money, and you’re happy. And what I want to start out with right off the bat is finding the right career is not as easy as people make it seem. Right, Kerry? It’s just not that easy.

01:00
Kerry Doyle
Correct. Sorry. Yes, it’s not that easy. It can be simplified. I think people overcomplicate it. But even when it’s simplified, it’s still not easy because you have emotions and other things that come into play.

Lori
Yeah. Right, and the perfect job that you think would be great for you might not be a fit, or it might not be available when you’re ready. So I’ll tell you a little story about my early career days.

I envisioned being a radio DJ. I was going to be on the radio. I didn’t even think about television. Had a broadcast degree, really loved radio, loved the whole DJ thing. And then I realized that in order to make it in that business, you basically have to work in teeny tiny towns, making teeny tiny money, sitting in a room by yourself. And I’m a major social animal. I’m like, I just love being around people.

02:00
And so what happened when I got out of college is I was kind of at a loss. What should I be doing? And I decided that advertising was probably a really good place for me. So I sent out, I’m serious, probably one hundred fifty resumes. That was back in the day when you sent out a paper resume in an envelope with a cover letter and you waited for them to call you back.

And I got a call from that first batch of a hundred that I sent from a company that did outdoor advertising. Now that’s billboards. And not only was it billboards, which is the poor stepchild of the advertising media, but it was outdoor advertising ads. targeted to the black ethnic market, which back in the eighties was not very popular. And it was on the sides of liquor stores and grocery stores in the city.

And I, I had no choice. I needed a job. I took the job and I was so lucky because my boss in that position basically taught me everything I needed to know about sales. It was absolutely amazing. I really had a lot of fun in the job. Um, I was, um, his punk rock account executive. He called me cause I had the hair and I was all like, you know, just out of college. And, and I stayed there for three and a half years because I learned so much. I was able to make a little bit of money.

03:00
And as soon as I started to get kind of bored and kind of like, okay, I need to look for something else and opportunity in television production came up. And that’s where I spent the majority of my career. Um, First out of college, first thing out of college, that wasn’t an option. I didn’t even know who to talk to or who to communicate with to try to find those jobs.

But once I was in the industry, then I kind of got the lay of the land. Three and a half years later, I kind of knew where to go and an opportunity presented itself. So the first thing that you end up doing that’s a career job might not be the career job.

So today we’re going to talk about a couple of things. We’re going to talk about how normal it is to be uncertain about your career in your twenties, some self discovery tips, building some resilience so that when you get the no’s that you’ll get, they don’t take you out. They might knock you down, but you stand back up and keep going.

04:00
And then I want to talk a little bit about how you can continue to grow your career once you do get that first career job. So, Kerry, let’s talk about how the current situation in society tells young people that, oh, there’s a job out there for you and you just go find it. Live your passion. Live your dreams. Is that realistic?

Kerry:
I don’t believe so, no. If you pick up many career books, talk to many career counselors, they’ll tell you, find your passion, find your calling, find your perfect job. And guess what? There isn’t one perfect job.

And in terms of callings, unless you’re in the clergy or something, it’s very rare as well. The responsibility is on us as people to find out what’s in the market and do the homework and find out what fits. And there won’t be just one perfect fit for everybody. There are multiple.

05:00
I mean, there are thousands and thousands of career paths, fields, and jobs. really depends on the situation so you might think oh I I like medicine I want to go into medicine and you get in there you get into the situation like yeah this isn’t quite the right fit well maybe it’s not medicine maybe it’s the people in that group you’re working with you know it can be so there’s so many different variables people want to find that perfect thing and it just doesn’t it doesn’t exist people will find the right fit after experimenting multiple times

Lori:
Yeah. And I also, I found a statistic that people will change jobs, most people, twelve or more times in their thirties. And when I think about that, I worked at McDonald’s, then I worked in media production, then I worked in outdoor advertising, then I worked in video production. And now I work in social media and I do a podcast. I mean, we all have lots of facets to who we are.

So you have to find a job that matches what your interests and talents are. Not always easy. So I also think some people make it look really, really easy when it’s not. So if you see people on social media that are out there, oh, I just got out of college, got my perfect job and I’m making millions. They’re not sharing the dark and ugly side of it, right?

06:00
Kerry
Right, right. Well, yeah, exactly. And the other thing is the default path is find something you’re interested in, get a degree, go out there. Well, you thought your DJ path was going to be different than it actually was after you got the degree. Yeah. um so the other things we all and then once you got into your outdoor job you said you learned everything from sales from the person you worked with, that’s how everything works.

Get experience and learn from the experience. It’s on the job experience. We don’t train people that way we say hey go to kindergarten through twelve and then plus four more years and a hundred grand and then go start working and get that experience.

My advice is look for that experience beforehand, before you make the investment. I’m not against college. I’m just saying do some homework before college, something that you’re not used to doing. Get out of your comfort zone. And don’t assume that college is always the right choice, right?

07:00
Lori
Absolutely. It depends on the career. For the last fifty, sixty years, it was pretty much the default path. graduate from high school, go to college, or you’re going to end up in a low paying job, that dead end job. It’s not the case anymore.

You know, I believe in education. I believe in higher education. I just don’t believe that is the default path. I believe there’s so many other options for education. And I believe we are responsible for it, not the college. They’re not responsible for finding us that perfect job. We are.

Kerry
The other thing is, Lori, as you said earlier, you didn’t know until you got there. We tend to lean towards careers we’ve been exposed to. Our parents, our friends, something on TV. We know what we’re exposed to. And my advice is get exposure and say, well, how do you get exposure? Well, Talk to people, network, explore. Again, we’re responsible for our own career, our own lives. It’s not the teachers and parents anymore. It’s us.

08:00
Lori:
Right. Absolutely. Well, and I want to tell a quick little story because my son, he really thought that he was going to work in corporate America in the automotive industry. He graduated from University of Michigan.

He had done a internship at Stellantis/Chrysler. He was overseeing dealership operations in their service department, and I think it’s called parts and service department. And he was excited. They had actually given him the three shirts with the three brands on them, and he was going to graduate and then go to work for Stellantis, and he was all excited about it.

And then the pandemic happened. And those jobs just disappeared. There was nothing there. There were no jobs. He went to get what he thought was his pandemic job as a service advisor at a Chrysler dealership. He knew all about it because he’d been on the corporate side in that area. So he went and got the job and he thought, you know, low paying, I’ll just kind of hang out here until Christmas. things open up a little bit in the automotive industry.

09:00
And what happened is fast forward four years and he is a service advisor on Alfa Romeo and Wagoneer. He’s making six figures. He is a hundred percent commission and he did not need a college degree for that job. What he needed was a passion for automotive and he loves helping people with their cars. And that’s probably the business he’ll stay in. He may become a service department manager. They make even more money.

But there are a lot of industries like that one that you wouldn’t know. I had no idea that a service advisor could make six figures and also that they were commissioned only. I mean, it’s crazy. But there’s a lot that you don’t know if you don’t explore.

So how do you suggest, Kerry, it’s based on your experience, how… young people, you know, before or after college can try to figure out what industries they’re most interested in.

Kerry
Well, I would recommend before or at least early on in college to explore more than, you know, after, after spending the hundred, hundred, hundred K. Yeah, we could have gotten away without spending that hundred K. So exploring, again, it’s not easy, but it’s fairly simple and straightforward. It’s doing things that may not be in someone’s comfort zone.

10:00
All the way through high school, people were given an assignment. Study, take a test, do a report, do an assignment, get an A. Life is good. Maybe do some extracurricular activities. Maybe join a sports team. it’s all pretty much spelled out for you.

So if you want to explore the work world, there isn’t a cookie cutter approach. It’s a bit of trial and error. We do have LinkedIn where I would encourage everybody, even in high school to get on LinkedIn and start networking and start exploring and have, get real conversations with real people. Everybody wants to be, you know, doing this with their phones.

Guess what? Use it the old fashioned way and make a phone call. You can connect with them digitally, you know, through LinkedIn or however, but explore and get in conversations with people, go meet with them either in person or through Zoom or something and find out what it’s really like. You would have found out if that existed back in the day, you would have found out what real life is as a DJ if you were able to do that exploration. We have so many ways to explore.

11:00
So anyway, LinkedIn is one, but friends, family, other social media networks actually make connections with people and talk with people. I just feel like the human contact, you know, we’re, I read something that says we’re digitally connected, but socially disconnected, socially isolated.

And I believe that, That is where young people are comfortable being digitally connected, but they’re socially isolated and they don’t have the same habits you and I were forced into.
You’d walk down the street and knock on the door and say, hey, you want to come out? Now it’s, you know, this on a phone. So, you know, it’s, it’s getting out, it’s, it’s some of it’s going back to, it’s using technology where it helps. But it’s, it’s doing some good old fashioned communication.

Lori:
And looking at your passions, what do you really love to do? I know I’m a social person. I’m so social that social media was just a natural thing for me to get into. I always loved to write. So I’m a writer. I’ve always been a writer in any job I had typically ended up handling the marketing too. Sio lots and lots of writing, wrote a book.

12:00
What do you think about tools like personality assessments and, you know, those kinds of things, the, like, what color is your parachute? I think is a book out there that still gets a lot of kudos for being a great tool for investigating what your personality and skills, how they match up with a particular industry or career, right? What do you think of the tools that are out there?

Kerry:
Well, uh, I believe, and even, even what colors your parachute, which is probably the longest standing, uh, best-selling career book that has actually changed over time. And the author, uh, Richard Bowles, I believe his name is, he actually says, take, you know, you can use some of these assessments, but don’t, um, rely a hundred percent on them. Don’t, don’t rely heavily on them. They give you some information, some general.

But he also advises to explore on your own because there’s a gap and there are a few reasons I wouldn’t put all my weight into the assessments. One, it’s a snapshot in time and our personalities and our interests change over time. It’s also based on theory anything based on theory it’s yes it’s based on statistics and behavior and surveys and other things, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s going to sync up with you I’m naturally an introvert and a very shy person I.

13:00
You know, those tests told me I should be behind a computer or in doing programming or something. But you know what? I also liked to teach and I was afraid to stand up in front of an audience until I took a Dale Carnegie class and it forced me to do it. And I found out, you know what? I love teaching. And I love getting in front of people and talking to them, but I was scared to death to do it.

So if I relied on an assessment, they would have told me, stay behind a computer, stay behind a screen, do something that is not with people because that’s my natural inclination. But once I was exposed to it, I enjoyed it it scared me yes it was uncomfortable yes but I learned to really love it.

I feel like and uh the author of what colors your parachute also agrees I’ve read the I’ve read many career books um that one included um that there’s some good information but it’s not the end all be all you need to explore yourself.

Lori:
I think StrengthsFinders is a really good one for anybody on the planet, basically, as soon as you’re old enough to take that one.

14:00
Not because it’s going to tell you what career you should explore, but because it will call out what your strengths are. What are you really good at? And I found it to be so accurate. It gives you five strengths. What are you really good at? And what happens, if nothing else, is you come out of that experience of taking this assessment and getting your results feeling really good about yourself. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling god about yourself and your unique skills. So I would highly recommend StrengthsFinders. I know there are all kinds of different tools out there.

A good career counselor is probably an even better option. Someone who can sit with you, ask you the questions like, do you like to make things with your hands? Are you a woodworking kind of person as a hobby, well, then maybe skilled trades would be a good place for you.

The Carpenter and Millwrights Union has an apprenticeship program. Maybe that’s something to explore. And just because you explore it doesn’t mean you have to stick with it your whole life. I have had three very distinct careers in my life. And Kerry, I’m assuming you have too, right? You’ve had more than one.

15:00
So let’s talk about what happens when the search gets really hard. How can someone, a young professional or young wants to be, you know, want to be professional, how can they keep their inspiration, their motivation, their resilience when they’re sending out resumes and trying to figure out nothing’s happening? Because that will happen. It will happen.

Kerry
Well, a couple things. You know, you said it’s hard. It’s nothing worth doing, I think, in life is easy. Everybody wants the easy button. So I think understanding that and expecting that there are going to be challenges along the way, expecting that and understanding that up front is part of it. Yes. And then also being able to control what you can control.

16:00
You said you sent out one hundred fifty, two hundred resumes back in the day. So if you flash forward to today, we don’t send out paper resumes and envelopes and lick the stamps anymore. But we make connections with people, whether it’s LinkedIn, phone, in person, whatever. it’s still a numbers game and it’s, you can’t get discouraged on one. You, you have to do them over time. And then again, you control what, how many people have you reached out to? How many interviews have you gone on?

You can’t control what they think, how they react. All you can control is what you can do. So if you say, oh, I sent out two resumes or I made two connection requests on LinkedIn, I made two phone calls. It’s not enough. It’s not enough. Or even I made a hundred, but nobody called me back.

17:00
Guess what sometimes people are busy and you follow up that’s another thing I don’t think people are used to okay oh you know what they’re automatically going to call me back I emailed them or I called them they’re not they’re busy call them again it takes persistence and yes It gets exhausting.

Yes, it gets discouraging. It’s difficult. Again, but it’s a good life lesson forever because it’s not a one and done thing. That is going to be the rest of your life. I’m experiencing it now. I’m making a bit of a change myself. And it’s, you know, it’s, I think… It’s exciting and discouraging at the same time. It’s challenging, but it’s, you take that, you take those, I say, I shouldn’t say discouraging.

18:00
You take those moments that are difficult and you look at them as learning experiences and say, okay, I need to strengthen that or maybe shift here, pivot here, whatever. But it’s just, it’s all a data point.

Lori:
And one of the biggest piece of advice I would give people is just keep going. Don’t stop. And you may have to take a bridge job. You may have to take like that or advertising job. I thought I would be there for six months. I needed revenue for my personal revenue. I needed a job. I needed insurance. I needed the things that come with a job. So I took it. Did I expect to like it?

19:00
I actually had gone into the meeting, the last meeting I had with David Laster, who was my boss, who was an amazing human being. And to tell him that I wasn’t taking the job, but I had connected with him. I’d had three interviews. I felt like I owed it to him to tell him in person.

And that shows you what a great boss he was because he had created a personal connection with me that I felt obligated that I had to go tell him in person and walked out of there with a job. It was like, what just happened? I’m so fortunate that that’s the way it worked out because the things that he taught me, I use every single day. And a lot of it is relationships. I’m going to kind of veer off of our outline here.

20:00
One of the things that I would suggest people do is find people in the industry that you think you’re interested in. For example, I was interested in broadcasting. And find people, connect with people either that you know or on LinkedIn that And ask for an informational interview.

I know, Kerry, you and I both, if somebody, some young person approached me on LinkedIn, nobody ever does. But if somebody did and said, hey, I would just like to talk to you about what your aspect of the business is like, I would take a twenty minute, thirty minute call happily. And you’ll find most people do because you will stand out by asking for something like that. You will appear to be more of a goal getter kind of person. And it’s really helpful.

21:00
You don’t know who they know either. So don’t hesitate to reach out. It’s part of being in a successful career is being fearless when it comes to making connections. And you might as well start now. Even if you’re scared to death, do it anyway. I mean, that’s one thing I always, I lived by the mantra when I was in my twenties, feel the fear and do it anyway. because it’s not going to kill you. At least it probably won’t kill you. I don’t know. Maybe it would.

But most cases, you’re not going to die because you picked up the phone or you sent an email and you asked somebody for something. Give them the opportunity to say no. Don’t say no for them. I learned that in my charitable work. Don’t say no for them. Let them say no, right?

22:00
Kerry:
Absolutely. And mentioning fear, anything new to us, It can be scary, and it usually is. But that fear gets magnified the longer we think about it, the longer we overanalyze it. Once you take the action, that fear gets reduced. And the more action you take, that fear gets reduced and reduced and reduced to zero.

Lori
Until it’s just what you do.

Kerry
Exactly. And I’m glad you brought up the informational interviews. That’s kind of what I was leaning toward when I said make connections and conversations. I think you’re actually more apt to get a job in that route, being proactive when talking with people and creating relationships.

23:00
Most jobs are hired from people who know people. If you get to know more people, whether they have an opening or not, they will refer you to somebody else when they hear of an opening. So the side door, the stepping stone jobs, that’s more likely to happen than Going to a job posting and saying, oh, there’s my perfect job. I’m going to apply for it and get it. Be proactive. Talk to people before the job is posted.

Lori:
Yep. And I’ve, I mean, how many people have you heard that are C-level executives or, you know, on the board of these major organizations and they started out as the receptionist or the mailroom? There’s a reason they talk, you know, maybe they don’t talk about it as much as they used to, but the mailroom used to be a really big deal.

24:00
Mailroom was like the entry level position and those entry level spots, even if they aren’t exactly what you want to do, will get you in the door. And that’s part one. I mean, that’s the most important step is getting in to the industry that you think you might want to be in and playing around a little bit, seeing what, what you might be able to create.

So anything else that you would offer encouragement or anything else, Kerry, resources, let me know. What do you think?

25:00
Kerry
I will do that. Well, I think I’m actually creating a pool of resources at thecareerdad.com. And there are good books. There are good tools out there.

But I guess I would like to add an interesting little story since you mentioned the mailroom. I got my under undergraduate degree in marketing. So I wanted to go into marketing. My first job was Coca-Cola in marketing and I hated it.

So I worked there for a couple of years and thought marketing’s not for me. So I went back to school, got my MBA in finance. And while I was interviewing for jobs at financial firms, I worked in the mailroom at an ad agency because I knew the people there. And I was just part-time. I was working in the mailroom.

26:00
They made a joke, MBA, mailboy always. I was working in the mailroom with an MBA in finance. That’s great. And one of the vice presidents pulled me aside and said, Kerry, what are you doing interviewing these finance companies? He said, you don’t belong in finance. You belong in advertising and marketing. He says, we don’t have anything here because I’m going to set you up with an interview with a friend of mine at Donor Advertising. Would you go over there and talk with them? And I said, sure. I went over there, got a job. I never ended up in finance.

Lori
That’s awesome.
Kerry
The mailroom is where things start sometimes. Yeah. Yeah.

27:00
Lori
And even the proverbial mailroom. Right. Which I’m not really sure what that means now. What is what is the mailroom now? It might be like an coordinator or a junior project manager. I mean, you just never know.

But I would like to just encourage you, if you are in that place where you’re in your twenties, you can’t find that that career path that you thought would be easy. Keep going. Consider bringing in a career coach. Consider, you know, really studying up on how to find that perfect career. Google is your friend. I would even say chat GPT is a great place to look for options.

28:00
If you do your strengths finder and you find that you have these five particular strengths. I would drop them into chat GPT and say, Hey, what job would I be great for with these five strengths and see what it says, but just continue to explore. Don’t give up. You will land in a great place. So any last words of wisdom, Kerry?

Kerry
I just, I’d like to echo your advice there and all of those things were great advice, but then if chat GPT or somebody points you in a direction, then you, reach out to somebody and actually talk with them and get that informational interview. Find out from their perspective what their day-to-day life is. And if you can shadow them for a day or they become a mentor, they’re happy to talk to you.

29:00
More people are happy to help you help young people out than you think. Yeah, they’ll make time. They will make time. Yes, exactly. And just don’t think you’re going to find that perfect job. You’re going to find something that’s a good fit for that, for that point in time. And then you’re going to grow and you’re going to learn and you’re going to probably adapt and change.
So yeah, nothing’s forever.

And have those twelve jobs before your thirties. Right. So it really, it does. We all have lots of them. We all have lots of them. So that’s what we’ve got for you today.

30:00
. Please visit my website at workmomsays.com. That’s where the podcast lives. You can go all the way back to the early silly episodes. They were really fun. We’re a little more serious now. And I also have a contact form there., If you have a particular question you’d like me to answer, a guest you’d like to suggest, or any other things that you might want to talk to me about, please get in touch with me there.

I am also an open networker on LinkedIn at Lori Jo Vest. And Kerry, you’re an open networker too, am I correct? Absolutely. Awesome. So catch up with us there. And thank you so much for being here today. Thank you, Kerry. Thank you, Lori.

This podcast is for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 40: Finding The Right Career Path appeared first on Work Mom Says®.

It’s never too early to start building a solid career, so Work Mom is sharing a few key ways to jumpstart your career BEFORE you get into the workforce. From joining professional student organizations to being a continuous learner to finding a strong, intergenerational network of peers and mentors, there are tons of ways to start your career right now.

Timestamped inflection points from the show

1:00 – Getting involved = getting your foot in the door: Joining professional student organizations for your industry is a game-changer for finding internships, mentors, and opportunities.

1:45 – LinkedIn. LinkedIn. LinkedIn.: Start your LinkedIn account by your third year and connect with any adult you know. You never know who could connect you with your first opportunity.

4:00 – The power of intergenerational networking: When you form close connections with peers with decades of experience, you can ask them for advice or even a new opportunity when things go wrong.

6:30 – Reluctant networkers unite: If you’re introverted or just hate networking, check out our recent interview with the Reluctant Networker Greg Peters for his foolproof ways to get the most out of networking.

8:30 – Be a continuous learner: Learning about business etiquette, behavior, and mindset will get you far. From there, continue learning everything you can to elevate your skills, abilities, and emotional intelligence.

1:00 – When you get to campus, you should start looking into student trade organizations and get involved. It will have you meeting people who are in your field, your peers, and leaders in the industry.

2:00 – It’s not a bad idea to connect with your parents and your parents’ friends, uncles, or aunts. Anybody you know who’s an adult in business will help you grow your network on LinkedIn.

3:00 – “In the Women’s Ad Club, I found a group of women that, when things were going sideways, I could go to and say, “What do you guys do when this happens?” I mean, I was twenty-three, twenty-four years old, and some women in their fifties had great answers for me.”

6:00 – “When I got my pay cut, I got home, picked up the phone, and called a couple of my girlfriends…I was employed within two weeks, moved right into that new job, never got laid off, and recovered from that bit of early career trauma without a lot of muss and fuss because I knew people.”

8:30 – “When you’re a continuous learner, you’ll move more, you’ll learn more, you’ll meet more people. Your career will continue to elevate. You’ll elevate your skills, your abilities, and your emotional intelligence.“

Connect with me on LinkedIn. Order my book!

00:00
Hello, I’m Lori Jo Vest. Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of Work Mom Says, Don’t Be an Idiot. Today, we’re going to talk about things you can do while you’re still in college and immediately afterwards to really jumpstart your career. Most of us pick an industry. We try to get into it, but we pick the industry while we’re in college.

So while you’re still in college, get some experience in your industry—a couple of things. If you’re not a club joiner, start joining those clubs. Most industries do have student chapters of their major trade organizations. There are ad clubs, if that’s your thing. There are manufacturing clubs, there are engineering clubs.

Most of the universities and colleges will have organizations that are student chapters of national professional organizations. As soon as you get to campus, you should start looking into those specific organizations and get involved. It will have you meeting people that are in your field, your peers, as well as people that are leaders in the industry.

01:00
And it will help you maintain and get access to internships, student apprenticeships, opportunities that you may not hear about if all you’re doing is going to class, taking your finals, writing your papers, doing your productions, whatever it is, and going home, you really want to use that extracurricular time, at least the last two years that you’re there, to grow your reputation, grow your skills, add to your resume, and make connections. That’s number one.

Number two, start your LinkedIn account while you’re still in college. Again, by your third year, you should be putting up a LinkedIn account, putting in volunteer things that you’ve done, jobs you’ve had, making sure your resume is there.

Make sure you use industry keywords. I mean, if you Google how to prepare and present a solid LinkedIn profile, you will find some great advice there. So I won’t go too deep into it here. But there are experts you can follow.

Get on LinkedIn, start using it, start connecting with people you know. And I’m going to tell you, it’s not a bad idea to connect with your parents and your parents’ friends, uncles, aunts, anybody that you know that’s an adult in business will help you grow your network on LinkedIn. It’s a great place to start looking for internships, micro internships, things like that. So make sure you are on LinkedIn.

02:00
Now, when you are just getting out of college, stick with that approach of being involved in organizations and staying on the business social media. Because once you get out of college, you can actually join the professional organizations.

And I’ll tell you a story. When I first got into the advertising business, which is what I do now, I had a boss that told me that I needed to join two or three of the local trade organizations. There were a couple of different ad clubs. There was a women’s ad club. There was the Adcraft Club of Detroit. And then there were some marketing communication type organizations.

And I joined three different ones and I went to their meetings and I got on their committees. I think I even served on the board. I think when I was twenty seven or twenty eight, I was president of the Detroit chapter of the Women’s Advertising Club because I started right out of college.

I did their newsletter. I did, I served on committees. I actually, you know, created events and worked as a volunteer. And I built up a lot of skills. I grew my writing skills. I grew my production skills. And then I could put together a newsletter, my interview skills because I’d interview people. I also learned how to network effectively.

03:00
And it gave me a group of people in the Women’s Ad Club in particular, It gave me a group of women that when things were going sideways, I could go to them and say, what do you guys do when this happens? I mean, I was twenty-three, twenty-four years old and there were women that were in their fifties that had great answers for me.

I remember at one point, I was getting somewhat sexually harassed by a client, and I had no idea what to say. And back then it was a little it was something that you didn’t want to even acknowledge had happened because as a woman, you felt like you may have somehow contributed to it. That’s the way we were socialized. We were socialized that way, trust me. The eighties and nineties were not so good for women’s growth and development. It was a really difficult time, but I didn’t want to talk to my boss or much less the client.

04:00
So I had a group of women that were thirty years older than me that were able to give me advice on how to handle it with finesse in a way that wouldn’t get me in trouble, that wouldn’t alienate the client, that would put distance between me and the client. And that would allow me to continue to work in a professional fashion without being sidelined by somebody else’s behavior.

So those kinds of things are really, really important. So I cannot overestimate the power of going to events and volunteering for committees, getting involved in organizations as soon as you get out of college and stick with it. Join the committees, go to all the meetings, really get to know the people in that group.

And the other advantage I’ll tell you about that I will never forget is when you’re networking like that, if something bad happens, you have the ability to ask those people, something happens at your job. You, you know, you’re going to get laid off.

05:00
You can call them and say, Hey, you know, our company’s going down. Something really strange is happening. And, and we’re, you know, they’re, we hear they’re cutting the payroll budget and, You know, that kind of thing. You can call your friends that you met in your networking groups and say, hey, I’m looking for a new position.

I had to do that once. I took a new job. I was recruited by a headhunter, which kind of implies that the company has some money because headhunters are not cheap. And within six weeks on the job, we heard the major financial partner was coming in and cutting budget because we were in a massive sales slump and that he was going to start with payroll.

Now, what that means is they’re going to start cutting pay. And he went person to person to person all day one day and told us each how much less we were going to be worth when we came in the next morning. And it was between twenty and thirty percent. It was incredibly painful for everyone that was on that team.

06:00
However, I was able to when I got my pay cut, got home, picked up the phone, called a couple of my girlfriends. And one of them said, hey, Tom’s looking for somebody just like you at this other facility in town. And I was able to go over there. I was employed within two weeks, moved right into that new job, never got laid off and was able to really recover from that bit of, you know, early career trauma. without a lot of muss and fuss because I knew people.

Now, if you’re an introvert, then you want to go back and listen to the, there’s an earlier episode of Work Mom Says at workmomsays.com about networking. If you are an introvert and networking scares the hell out of you, get a partner, network with someone else, look for a friend that will go with you, plan out your networking, practice your networking.

07:00
Do it regularly. Go to luncheons. Go to dinners. Go to breakfast. Go to coffee. Go to events. And learn how to network by actually networking. And what will happen is you’ll figure out that there are things that you can say that light people up, things that you can say that people are immediately more interested in what you’re saying if you drop the line or two, you know, that you’ll figure out what it is that you say that has people perking up and paying attention.

And networking is really not that hard. It might feel like it, but it really isn’t, especially if you can partner network with someone. That makes it one hundred fifty thousand times easier. So, another suggestion is partner networking and other things that you can do after just getting out of college.

Study business etiquette. Look into EQ, how you should perform while you’re at work, how you should think about your work. Read career books and career advice because it will help you see things in a way that you may not just coming out of college.

08:00
And there is a certain way that you should be looking at work. It’s different than college. It’s different than your McDonald’s job or whatever job you did while you were in high school, babysitting, nannying, whatever it is. The business realm is much, much different.

So you want to make sure that you spend some time studying and learning what that business etiquette is so that you are able to present as the best possible image for yourself and be the best possible person.

So that’s the last thing I’ll tell you here is to be a continuous learner. And the first thing you should start with is basic business etiquette, behavior, and mindset. And those topics will get you really far.

09:00
And from there, just recycle, you know, what do they say? Lather, rinse, repeat, keep doing it over and over. You’ll move more, you’ll learn more, you’ll meet more people. And and your career will continue to elevate. You’ll elevate your skills, your abilities, and your emotional intelligence.

So that’s what I’ve got for you today. I hope you enjoyed it. Please visit my website at workmomsays.com. If you’re interested in having me interview someone or you think you have a great topic that I should cover, I’d love to hear from you.

10:00
I also have a YouTube channel, Work Mom Says, where I have daily videos that are the chapters of my book, Work Mom Says Don’t Be an Idiot, Thirty-Eight Lessons You Don’t Want to Learn the Hard Way. So go over to YouTube, hit the subscribe button. Have a look at what I’ve got going over there. And we’d love to see you there as well.

Again, if you have any ideas for subjects or any questions, I’d love to hear from you in the comments there as well. So that’s what I’ve got for you. Have a great day. Know that Work Mom is here for you. You can do this. Take care.

This podcast is for young professionals, so they can learn to play the emotional context sport of business and experience less drama and more success.

How can you be more logical and less emotional? Be strategic, and Work Mom Says can help you.

“I tell people to back up, put down the magnifying glass, and look at the big picture when you’re responding to something,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom. “In doing this, you will understand that what’s really upsetting you right now will be something you don’t even remember next week.”

Listening to Work Mom Says can help you grow your mood management skills, grow your ability to reframe situations, and look at things from a strategic point of view. This makes it easier to go into a work situation and get the most positive results.

On Work Mom Says, we also offer tips and tricks for creating connected positive relationships that last over time. People will want you on the team if you can create connected positive relationships and work environments. You become an asset, and you will be more successful when you’re an asset.

“I also like to talk about developing traits like optimism, persistence, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, sticking with things, and approaching every project with a curious mind instead of a fearful mind,” said Lori Jo Vest, Work Mom

I do this because I naturally fell into the Work Mom role when I worked in the ad agency business and had so much fun with it. I also realized I had made just about every mistake there was to make. I don’t hold myself as a stellar example of truth and how you should be. I hold myself out there as someone who has been bruised, battered, and beaten up and learned some important lessons. I’d love to share these lessons with young people, so they don’t have to make those same mistakes or be the idiot I was.

I also want to help young professionals realize that many things our culture prioritizes aren’t really important. We talk a lot about what should be important and how to present your best face at the office so that you can succeed.

I’ve learned so much throughout my career, and it’s gratifying to share that with young professionals and help them avoid some of those mistakes and get to that success sooner.

Episode 26 – “The Origin of Work Mom Says (Plus a Sneak Peek at My Upcoming Book)” appeared first on Work Mom Says.

The post Episode 39: Kick-Starting Your Career When You’re Just Starting Out appeared first on Work Mom Says®.