Do you and your partner both work while managing a home with kids? How do you both balance work and life as well as working on your marriage? What are the common issues working parents face and how can they overcome them together?

In this podcast episode, I am joined by my Husband, Willie. We discuss working mom vs working dad and navigating the challenges and joys of being working parents

Trying to balance the personal and professional

I don’t think there is really a balance between personal and professional life. There’s work, and then I get off, and then I continue to work because it’s doing whatever’s needed, whatever needs to be done with our kids’ lives. (Willie Cisneros)

Work is work, whether it is done in the office or at home with the kids.

Sometimes it feels like you just need to move from one thing to the next, and sometimes it feels like you can focus on work and then focus on the family, and compartmentalize things.

However, when you do this, you can set yourself up for greater expectations, and if you fall short, it’s often the case that you become very hard on yourself.

There are times when it feels like I’m failing and that I struggle to maintain both my professional status as well as my personal status of being a mom and a wife, it is hard. It is so hard. (Veronica Cisneros)

The Gottman technique of “turning toward”

This is where we ensure that partners acknowledge each other’s struggle and actively work toward creating a balanced routine. (Veronica Cisneros)

When both partners get busy with trying to balance their professional and personal lives, they can quickly become resentful toward one another because they are working individually, instead of together.

With the Gottman technique of “turning toward” your partner, you create a co-space where you both get your professional needs met and see to the family obligations by respecting one another’s commitments and needs.

Avoid guilt trips

Keeping score and bringing up your partner’s shortcomings or failures whenever there is conflict or frustration can very quickly turn into toxicity within the relationship.

Sure, there will be times when you have a conflict or let one another down accidentally, but that needs to be resolved, communicated, and let go.

If you are continuously holding onto something your partner did or didn’t do and using it as ammunition against them, a huge divide will very quickly begin to form between the two of you.

Emphasize on the importance of having a positive perspective, maintaining a positive outlook, and appreciating each other’s efforts rather than focusing on each other’s shortcomings. (Veronica Cisneros)

Limit intimacy intruders

Finding time for romance and maintaining intimacy while managing parenting duties can be tough. (Willie Cisneros)

Finding time for intimacy can be a big issue for working parents, and one of the primary reasons why is because, typically, for men intimacy can be a stress-reliever, whereas for women, they prefer the emotional connection.

When both partners have different stress relievers, it can be tricky to organize them together, especially when you know that you want to spend time together.

Knowing that each of us had chaotic days. One of us may have had a worse day than the other and to me, it’s about showing that compassion and just expressing that love, that gratitude, appreciation for what they’ve done … And acknowledging that. (Willie Cisneros)

These subtle things can bring a huge amount of safety and comfort for each partner, which can later lead to romance if both partners are interested.

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