We meet a magical little seahorse boy at the Indianapolis zoo! Ali silently pisses herself at a man’s place, then hides it by undressing. Brittany lets everyone down in grad school by repeatedly messing up her dataset and is still recovering from it. A woman fears that her boyfriend worships his baby ducks. Memories of Kid Rock shooting beers, Mike Tyson messing up lines, and the smell of urine cakes. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Kevin Casey White (Close Calls podcast) is here!!! Kevin goes on Romania’s Got Talent, and bombs with “my wife” jokes and a catchphrase about cabbage. Ali’s got her sin shoes on and Brittany’s reprimanded for roasting boys who love ponies. Memories of dissociating on stage, aging out of haircuts, and Hamburger Jones. 

Follow Kevin @kevincaseywhite and check out his special Harangue on YouTube!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali convinces classmates that she’s actually a cat who pees in litter boxes. Brittany’s new favorite movie is a gut microbiome documentary. A man tries to impress his girlfriend’s family by acting as though he has no idea what a potato is. Memories of Taco Bell the lizard, Sofa Kingdom, and pretending to fight. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany goes on a date with a pick up artist, and makes an enemy by showing a man some empathy. Ali’s takes a bunch of adderall to prove herself to her doctors, and gets spied on by her mom in a dream. A wife tries to fix her failing marriage by giving her husband a glow up. Memories of picking at skin, attractive elk, and intrusive thoughts. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Caitlin Peluffo (Comedy Central) is on!! Caitlin loses hundreds of dollars in a bathroom and her dignity right outside of her apartment. We find out who thinks it’s OK to pee in the shower. A man divides his religious family by naming his dog Lucifer. Memories of mean soccer girls, blessing animals, and Brittany’s dad’s toilet. 

Follow Caitlin @caitlinpeluffo and check out her special “Dirty Bird.” 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets Ali to believe some dogs have jobs as earthquake detectors. Ali bombs talking dirty in front of her college improv team, and Brittany accidentally wears a necklace that says “skeet skeet.” A mother and daughter's relationship crumbles over a colorful magnet. Memories of Simpsons porn (again!), dads naming clouds, and crying at the vet. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s mad about her credit score, a chess game, and a man she never had any interest in at all. Ali discovers a real life motorcycle horse! A man pauses his sled race to kill and gut a moose, in accordance with the rules. Memories of bad animal drawings, exaggerated theatre bios, and (not) Noam Chomsky.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany learns to drink again and Ali realizes the opposite of a cat is a nuke. Brittany dumps her middle school bad-boy boyfriend after he gives her a gift that is too thoughtful. A ghost haunts Ali for hooking up in every cemetery in her home town. A listener goes to the wrong family party, stays to finish her chicken after finding out, and upsets her boyfriend’s parents. Memories of spelling bee kids, Valentines day, and big loogies. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We’ve got a very special guest!! Casey James Salengo (Comedy Central)! Casey loses his car, falls asleep in a wet field at prom, and spreads huge rumors about Serena Williams. Ali crushes on wrestling star Rhea Ripley, and Brittany accidentally defends Louie CK in a dream. A friendship sours after a man runs a record mile by using a treadmill inappropriately. Memories of old people barely knowing how to use the internet & Bowling For Soup sucking live.

Follow Casey @caseyjsalengo, check out his pod “I Love You But Your Music Sucks,” and a special he just filmed is coming soon!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali spends hours on her MySpace profile trying to impress an emo guy, only to get ghosted for being too emo. Brittany avoids having to process Mufasa’s death by hiding in the pantry and binging on marshmallows. A woman thinks being asked about a book she’s reading counts as bullying. Memories of norm core, Lord Of The Rings, bad AI, and Camp RamsBottom.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay