A man dies in an explosion and leaves Ali’s family with a cursed pack of cigarettes. Two-year old Brittany gets accused of being a manipulative, toxic, scheming b****. A woman offends her wedding guests by seating them according to Harry Potter houses. A punk hates his father for mistaking a lizard for a salamander. Memories of Coke for men, slappy sticky hands, and dads saying “YouTube”. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Christiana Jackson (Cashcab) joins us!! Christiana is at war with a colony of ants, her h-cups, and men who are short and want to charge their e-bikes at her place.  Brittany goes on a date with a science fair adult whose best story is about some small font. Memories of making friends though rat kings and fights at Popeyes. 

Follow Christiana @incomparablemsc

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

AI writes Brittany and Ali a killer bit about stinky airpots, and the perfect breakup text. Brittany gets caught drinking in high school and thinks it means she’ll never go to college or have a lawn. Ali’s at-home medical remedy makes every one of her body parts smell like garlic. A man ruins his marriage with baby-talk.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We meet a magical little seahorse boy at the Indianapolis zoo! Ali silently pisses herself at a man’s place, then hides it by undressing. Brittany lets everyone down in grad school by repeatedly messing up her dataset and is still recovering from it. A woman fears that her boyfriend worships his baby ducks. Memories of Kid Rock shooting beers, Mike Tyson messing up lines, and the smell of urine cakes. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Kevin Casey White (Close Calls podcast) is here!!! Kevin goes on Romania’s Got Talent, and bombs with “my wife” jokes and a catchphrase about cabbage. Ali’s got her sin shoes on and Brittany’s reprimanded for roasting boys who love ponies. Memories of dissociating on stage, aging out of haircuts, and Hamburger Jones. 

Follow Kevin @kevincaseywhite and check out his special Harangue on YouTube!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali convinces classmates that she’s actually a cat who pees in litter boxes. Brittany’s new favorite movie is a gut microbiome documentary. A man tries to impress his girlfriend’s family by acting as though he has no idea what a potato is. Memories of Taco Bell the lizard, Sofa Kingdom, and pretending to fight. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany goes on a date with a pick up artist, and makes an enemy by showing a man some empathy. Ali’s takes a bunch of adderall to prove herself to her doctors, and gets spied on by her mom in a dream. A wife tries to fix her failing marriage by giving her husband a glow up. Memories of picking at skin, attractive elk, and intrusive thoughts. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Caitlin Peluffo (Comedy Central) is on!! Caitlin loses hundreds of dollars in a bathroom and her dignity right outside of her apartment. We find out who thinks it’s OK to pee in the shower. A man divides his religious family by naming his dog Lucifer. Memories of mean soccer girls, blessing animals, and Brittany’s dad’s toilet. 

Follow Caitlin @caitlinpeluffo and check out her special “Dirty Bird.” 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany gets Ali to believe some dogs have jobs as earthquake detectors. Ali bombs talking dirty in front of her college improv team, and Brittany accidentally wears a necklace that says “skeet skeet.” A mother and daughter's relationship crumbles over a colorful magnet. Memories of Simpsons porn (again!), dads naming clouds, and crying at the vet. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s mad about her credit score, a chess game, and a man she never had any interest in at all. Ali discovers a real life motorcycle horse! A man pauses his sled race to kill and gut a moose, in accordance with the rules. Memories of bad animal drawings, exaggerated theatre bios, and (not) Noam Chomsky.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay