Ali gets a tattoo to remember her uncle by and upsets her aunt, then starts beef with Taylor Swift. Brittany cries about calculus for 3 months straight, learns about different sized craps, and figures out why all halloween parties suck. A listener tries to impress a boy with a dangerous cartwheel. Memories of being called fours, and having braces, headgear and lip bumpers. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We’re joined by Jamie Lee (Ted Lasso, HBO’s Crashing)! Jamie tells a lie that makes her wonder who she really is. We all suck at home decor and being bridesmaids. A psycho father puts his children through bootcamp every morning, then justifies it in a fake post written as "his daughter". Memories of the best Friends characters (Joey and Phoebe!), pretending to know Kurt Vonnegut, and realizing Bill Cosby isn’t dead. 

Follow Jamie @reallyjamielee, and go see her live at Helium in Portland, Oregon Feb 8-10!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We discover why hugs feel so good! Ali admits to smooching herself in bed. Brittany finds out that she sounds sarcastic even when she’s kissing. A boss and a bar tender severely misread the room. A man tricks a friend into shitting just to prove his milk was stolen. Memories of writing “boobs” in calculators, roommates counting tablespoons, and mother’s intuition.

A wonderful person and comic, Kenny DeForest, passed away this week. Watch his special, “Don’t You Know Who I am?,” and tell everyone you know about him.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali gets a tattoo of a dragon representing a lizard, representing a self help mantra. Brittany plays a paper plane prank on her Spanish teacher and gets voted Ass Clown. A man criticizes a woman for referring to her dead friend in the present tense. Memories of grandpas playing poker, shitting, writing checks at the grocery store, and more.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠

theme music by Adam Turay

Myka Fox joins us!! Myka and Brittany are at a party stuck on two very different puzzles. Myka gets stranded on a whale watching boat and tries to be a garbage man for a night. A man attempts to get OJ Simpson’s attention by dedicating his sci-fi book to him. Memories of plants that can cry, read, and enjoy metal music. 

Follow Myka @mykafox and check out her very fun pod @greathangpod

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany are looking for a couple’s therapist to help them get through the intro to the pod. Brittany orders hundreds of dollars worth of services at a nail salon just to ride out a panic attack. Ali finally has enough tattoos to get into Hell, and realizes she just wants a man who would put a c-pap on her. A busy college student snaps after receiving texts one letter at a time. Memories of cats with abs, parrots singing nu-metal, and bad elephant impressions. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at ⁠[email protected]⁠

theme music by Adam Turay

We both have a UTIs! Ali’s world crumbles when she discovers she doesn’t know Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2 as deeply as she thought. Brittany blocks out negative thoughts counting by 5s, and invites her boss to run with her through a bunch of birds. A woman is accused of being small-minded for watching Big Mouth. Memories of Charlotte’s Web, learning how to be a woman, and hair down to the ass. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

We break down the joy of a STAGE NUT. Brittany chips her tooth watching a Rage Against The Machine cover band. Ali sends her roommate an obscene voice memo about shitting and pissing, spoken in a customer service voice. A man is insecure over a dog having his name. Memories of Eminem collages, vacuuming up birds, arrowheads and petrified wood.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Our good friend Mae Planert is here!! Mae thoroughly picks her nose during a company zoom call, and considers getting hypnotized as her next career move. Ali’s mad about lint. Brittany gets an IUD and her life force back. A sister chooses to wear her brother’s underwear at the worst time. Memories of Mae’s wedding, toe jam, and Shoshanna from Girls. 

Follow Mae @mae_planert and her pod @risquebusinessnews

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

It’s Halloween!! Ali is going as the woman she was always meant to become. Brittany’s costume is animal-themed and not a horse. Brittany’s ex gets super into conspiracy theories but she thinks he’s just doing a bit. A man believes he’s helping the world by donating his wife’s wedding shoes. Memories of Lisa Frank velvet art, men thinking dip is dinner, Alex Jones, and long lost rocks. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay