We break down the joy of a STAGE NUT. Brittany chips her tooth watching a Rage Against The Machine cover band. Ali sends her roommate an obscene voice memo about shitting and pissing, spoken in a customer service voice. A man is insecure over a dog having his name. Memories of Eminem collages, vacuuming up birds, arrowheads and petrified wood.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Our good friend Mae Planert is here!! Mae thoroughly picks her nose during a company zoom call, and considers getting hypnotized as her next career move. Ali’s mad about lint. Brittany gets an IUD and her life force back. A sister chooses to wear her brother’s underwear at the worst time. Memories of Mae’s wedding, toe jam, and Shoshanna from Girls. 

Follow Mae @mae_planert and her pod @risquebusinessnews

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

It’s Halloween!! Ali is going as the woman she was always meant to become. Brittany’s costume is animal-themed and not a horse. Brittany’s ex gets super into conspiracy theories but she thinks he’s just doing a bit. A man believes he’s helping the world by donating his wife’s wedding shoes. Memories of Lisa Frank velvet art, men thinking dip is dinner, Alex Jones, and long lost rocks. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany stays in a haunted hotel in Atlantic City and visits three different psychics. Ali worries she has a parasite and gets nude with her dog in the tub. Urban Dictionary confirms that Alis and Brittanys are pieces of shit. A woman accidentally names her dog after a body phenomenon. Memories of ballet slipper foot stench, finding porn in the woods, and Brittany’s band “Dr. Kwan PHD.” 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ben Katzner is here!! Ben takes a sh*t to pass the time and it follows him to the stage. Ali accidentally says “I love you” to a man who likes Blade Trinity. Brittany is sick of people expecting her to know how fridges and air conditioners work. A man ruins a date by pretending not to notice the lettuce and tomato on his burger. Memories of flat tires, alien news, and depressed mattresses.

Follow Ben @shaqkatzner on everything! For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali figures out how to get people to cut the Happy Birthday song short, and accidentally shows her t*ts to the whole bar. Brittany does a school assignment on the new-found flexibility of her tongue, and fights with a boyfriend over his ability to build a toilet. A grown man thinks periods come from butts. Memories of worrying our graphic T’s are giving everyone on the train a boner, and the worst cartwheel ever done on Earth. 

For anyone who cares, this was recorded months ago but was misplaced for a while and now here it is!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany are dating the seams of their pants! Ali is at a wedding jealous of the groomsmen. Brittany’s addiction to solitaire has her family concerned. A child confesses to swearing after a game of tag causes him severe sensory overload. Memories of fixing toilets and feeling brand new after taking a sh*t. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Lukas Arnold (Two Nosy Meerkats) is on!! Lukas thinks audiences can’t see him if he shuts his eyes. Brittany’s deli guy tries to give her a massage. We all figure out exactly which dog we are, the names of our specials, and that Ali’s dad’s first tattoo will be “PREACH OR DIE.” A 9 year friendship ends when a girl eats mold and falls asleep on a pile of her own puke. Memories of speaking in tongues, over explaining simple ideas, and all our former guests with ADHD.

Follow Lukas @lukastarnold, and check out his pod @twonosymeerkats. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany get bullied online by a group of men whose personalities are entirely cars and guns. Ali’s dad somehow thinks Cleveland’s Rock n Roll Hall of Fame is a museum about tires. Brittany can’t stop humming the Backstreet Boys and loses a friend because of it. A woman snaps after being asked if everything is okay one too many times. Memories of Polly Pocket, High Stepper, and THICK WET GIRLY GEL PENS.  

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany’s dads reprimand them for not reading every instruction manual. Brittany comforts a man by keeping a flower she didn’t want, and pisses off a pickle ball instructor. Ali gets a goth haircut she hates, then accidentally cat fishes the FBI over MySpace. A woman can’t make sense of group chat comments without relating them to her pregnancy. Memories of destroying TVs at dumpsters, Tom Green, and the Toilet Bowl Exhaust System. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Rate the pod!! And check us out on YouTube!

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay