Brittany and Ali get cat called by a Tim Robinson impersonator!!! A man woos Brittany by teaching her how to use salad and sandwich bars, then gets her to “meditate” with him over the phone. In the pandemic, Ali finds human connection by guiding strangers while they parallel park. A woman wants to make a statement at a wedding by wearing a meme. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany roast every band member at a death metal show. Brittany’s trying to slack at soccer practice and ends up running full speed into a pole. Ali sweats like she has something to hide, and forces an audience member into taking off his shirt by calling him names. A boy gets kicked out of a groupchat after telling his aunt to flash the family. Brittany and Ali invent a new type of toilet—with tits! 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

A very special guest, Steven Rogers, joins us! Steven tries to trick other kids into believing he wasn’t repeating 2nd grade, wishes all busses were elephants, and ruins beach day by convincing himself he’s a creep with a white hotel towel. Brittany finally does a tell-all of her imaginary horses—proving they’re real by winning a foot race, and then giving it all up for an 8-year-old boy. Ali gets home every night and turns into a cat. A man is uneasy about his nudist girlfriend being seen 24/7 by her dog. 

Follow Steven @stevenrogerscomedy, and check out his special, "Before He Was Super" on YouTube! For tour dates and other info, go to http://www.stevenrogerscomedy.com

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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The pod becomes Animal Planet. Ali’s pissed at a lady walking a crab on a leash, but respects a man with a basement full of eels. Brittany saves a drowning gnat, scares a slug into appreciating its life, and paints dinner plates with horses doing exercises. A kid can’t watch Christmas movies without being interrupted by his parents’ planned light saber battles and quidditch matches. Memories of curb stomping, sea cucumbers, and drummers getting root canals. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Brittany tries to join a mosh pit dressed as a 6x3 foot robot. For Ali, the worst part about 911 wasn’t even 911. A relationship gets rocky after a woman hides vegetables in her boyfriend’s food to keep him alive. Memories of Drag Race, Ripley’s Believe it or Not, and crying to sad cowboy music.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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We’re joined by our good friend and REAL horse girl, LIZZY CASSIDY! Lizzy attempts a ladder stunt and sprains her back, and the literal hole in her heart gets filled. A man is reprimanded for using peanut butter in a sexual manner. Memories of Disney kids, genitals going numb, and men who collect bones!

Follow Lizzy @lizzycassidy and her pod @closecallspodcast 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Ali re-enacts shitting out a parasitic worm. Brittany won’t try her anxiety meds because she thinks they’ll make her anxious. In Boston, Ali’s father gives a meandering prayer, Brittany gets diarrhea, and we figure out the formula for all pop punk. A man asks whether it’s strange that he repeatedly sprays a child he doesn’t know with a hose.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Ali and Brittany are at an overstimulating comedy holiday party! Ali cheats at the ice challenge and roasts a tennis player. Brittany gets a psychic reading and finds out she doesn’t have scoliosis. A woman is devastated at the possibility that a dumb orange cat is being stereotyped.  

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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Mike Recine, our number one fan, is on!! Mike knows more about us through the pod than our dads ever will. If you want Ali’s full address, keep listening! Katy Perry is JonBenet Ramsey and mountains are tree stumps. A woman is ready to leave her boyfriend after he beats their inside joke to death. Memories of Nathan For You’s chili and Blippi’s Harlem shake poop. 

Follow Mike Recine @mikerecinecomedy, check out his pod @outforsmokespod, and go see him in Charlotte, NC at the Comedy Zone June 11!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

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Brittany relives trauma of listening to a lady moan while eating carrots and apples and she wasn’t even a horse. Ali’s dog thinks she’s the mayor of NYC and is stressed out about referendums and taking a sh*t right. Ali spirals because she thinks Brittany’s dead. An adult man is jealous of a cat named Puff.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay