The pod becomes Animal Planet. Ali’s pissed at a lady walking a crab on a leash, but respects a man with a basement full of eels. Brittany saves a drowning gnat, scares a slug into appreciating its life, and paints dinner plates with horses doing exercises. A kid can’t watch Christmas movies without being interrupted by his parents’ planned light saber battles and quidditch matches. Memories of curb stomping, sea cucumbers, and drummers getting root canals. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany tries to join a mosh pit dressed as a 6x3 foot robot. For Ali, the worst part about 911 wasn’t even 911. A relationship gets rocky after a woman hides vegetables in her boyfriend’s food to keep him alive. Memories of Drag Race, Ripley’s Believe it or Not, and crying to sad cowboy music.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

We’re joined by our good friend and REAL horse girl, LIZZY CASSIDY! Lizzy attempts a ladder stunt and sprains her back, and the literal hole in her heart gets filled. A man is reprimanded for using peanut butter in a sexual manner. Memories of Disney kids, genitals going numb, and men who collect bones!

Follow Lizzy @lizzycassidy and her pod @closecallspodcast 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali re-enacts shitting out a parasitic worm. Brittany won’t try her anxiety meds because she thinks they’ll make her anxious. In Boston, Ali’s father gives a meandering prayer, Brittany gets diarrhea, and we figure out the formula for all pop punk. A man asks whether it’s strange that he repeatedly sprays a child he doesn’t know with a hose.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Ali and Brittany are at an overstimulating comedy holiday party! Ali cheats at the ice challenge and roasts a tennis player. Brittany gets a psychic reading and finds out she doesn’t have scoliosis. A woman is devastated at the possibility that a dumb orange cat is being stereotyped.  

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Mike Recine, our number one fan, is on!! Mike knows more about us through the pod than our dads ever will. If you want Ali’s full address, keep listening! Katy Perry is JonBenet Ramsey and mountains are tree stumps. A woman is ready to leave her boyfriend after he beats their inside joke to death. Memories of Nathan For You’s chili and Blippi’s Harlem shake poop. 

Follow Mike Recine @mikerecinecomedy, check out his pod @outforsmokespod, and go see him in Charlotte, NC at the Comedy Zone June 11!

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany relives trauma of listening to a lady moan while eating carrots and apples and she wasn’t even a horse. Ali’s dog thinks she’s the mayor of NYC and is stressed out about referendums and taking a sh*t right. Ali spirals because she thinks Brittany’s dead. An adult man is jealous of a cat named Puff.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

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theme music by Adam Turay

Brittany’s dad invents a toilet that "works exactly as advertised." She helps him sell them and never once laughs. Ali’s mom has a crush on her carpet cleaner, but he’s only interested in birds. Ali and Brittany do impressions of crows. A man starts a ketchup business and forces his friends to act in a script he wrote about it.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

We’re joined by special guest, Onika McLean!! Onika gets high, asks a friend to follower her, then almost calls the cops. Having ADHD is like a Parent Teachers Association in your head. Ali could recognize her mom’s bush in a lineup. Brittany accidentally pranks her grandparents into cleaning up fake dog sh*t. 

Follow Onika McLean @onikacomedy, and check out her podcast Generation X to Z.

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay

In her college admission essay, Ali equates joining an improv team to a famous Tarantino scene. Brittany writes Mission To Mars and Gravity, and accidentally Rick Rolls Comedy Central. A man begs his wife to let him distribute her teeth when she dies. 

For clips and pics, follow the pod @worthlessclowns, Brittany @brittonuscardwell, and Ali @itsalioneil

Want your stupid story on the pod? Email us at [email protected]

theme music by Adam Turay