In this vulnerable and empowering episode of Openly Spoken, I'm joined by somatic relationship coach and trauma-informed guide Darla Radilla for a conversation on healing after heartbreak — including short but intense relationships, friend breakups, and the grief that lingers long after love ends.

Darla shares her personal experience navigating a relationship that ended quickly but left a lasting emotional impact. Together, we explore how trauma, grief, and nervous system awareness shape our healing journeys, and why choosing yourself can be the most powerful act of love.

We also discuss:

• The emotional complexity of short-term vs. long-term heartbreak
• Why friend breakups hit just as hard as romantic ones
• How to honor your nervous system in love and leadership
• The healing power of self-dating and reclaiming your joy

If you’re moving through grief, heartbreak, or rebuilding after toxic love — this conversation is here to remind you: healing doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you're becoming more whole.

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Book mentioned in this episode: Single on Purpose by John Kim

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Connect with Darla: https://highvaluewoman.info

Darla on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/highvaluewoman7/

Darla on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61550835718631

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🌹Download my Free Sensual Self Love Guide for Ambitious Women Reclaiming their Radiance: https://selfexpressedbabe.myflodesk.com/selfloveguide

I'm working on getting this show its first 200 ratings so if you could please leave a few kind words as a review for the app you're currently listening to this on, that would mean the world!! Thank you xo, Cilia

What if the way you relate to your partner… the way you speak to your body… and even the way you interact with technology… is all part of the same relational pattern?

In this episode, I share a conversation I had with ChatGBT about how it learns and found out it's learning through our relationships, emotional tone and that it's basically a digital nervous system. So when we have better self love and relationships, that "input" of data has an affect on AI... I think this is a HUGE responsibility that our society is overlooking and it shows why self love and cultivating healthy relationships is important now more than ever. What do you think?

If you're an ambitious woman on a journey of self love and healthier relationships, I made you this free guide and easy-to-follow practice here: https://selfexpressedbabe.myflodesk.com/selfloveguide

Ever felt like you had to perform or prove yourself to be worthy of love? If you’re an ambitious woman who’s tired of shrinking, over-giving, or trying to “earn” love, this episode will speak directly to your soul!

My guest this week is Seonaid Lee, a multi-passionate writer and teacher who is deeply interested in how we find agency in systems that are too large for us to understand. She believes that our intimate relationships are a space in which we can practice vulnerability, desire, and speaking up, so that we can bring those skills out into the rest of our interactions in the world. In this soul-stirring conversation about energetic consent, Seonaid and I explore the themes of radical self-love, discipline, and the complexities of relationships.

I hope the concept of energetic consent will help you change the way relate to yourself, your body, your partners, and the world around you.

Connect with Seonaid on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@SeonaidLee

Connect with Seonaid on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/seonaid-lee/

Seonaid’s website: https://seonaidlee.com/

And if you’re on a journey of self love, check out my free sensual self love guide here: https://selfexpressedbabe.myflodesk.com/selfloveguide

Hey, it's Cilia just popping in with a little note! As you can see, I've changed the podcast name from Openly Spoken to Worthy of Love. This show will still be the same: a show for ambitious women with a history of toxic relationships who desire to feel deeply connected to healthy love. It's just that the name "Openly Spoken" wasn't really matching the show anymore!

The next few episodes have already been edited, so for the next 3 weeks you'll still hear me say "Welcome to Openly Spoken"

I'll be re-launching this show as "Worthy of Love" on August 5th and this feed will redirect to the new show

Stay tuned!!

xo,

Cilia

In this episode, I'm discussing the importance of self-intimacy and how it can lead to healthier relationships and deeper connections because this helps you stop believing the LIE that you are "too much" when it comes to dating and relationships.

Because this is such a common thing with my 1:1 coaching clients, I address the common fear of being 'too much' in love, explaining that this fear is rooted in societal conditioning, particularly from patriarchy.

If this is something you struggle with, I advocate for slowing down and connecting with your body to cultivate self-intimacy, which ultimately enhances emotional intelligence and the ability to receive love. You can do that by grabbing my free Sensual Self Love Guide for Ambitious Women Reclaiming their Radiance here: https://selfexpressedbabe.myflodesk.com/selfloveguide

There's also a guided meditation in this episode, check the timestamps to jump straight too that.

Takeaways:

• Embodiment and self-intimacy foster deeper connections.
• The fear of being "too much" is a societal myth.
• Patriarchy conditions women to feel anxious in love.
• Hyper productivity often masks deeper emotional issues.
• Rest is essential for emotional well-being.
• Self-intimacy enhances emotional intelligence.
• Slowing down allows for self-acceptance and confidence which allows you to fully receive and create healthy love

Join the waitlist for Heart Magick here: https://selfexpressedbabe.com/breast-massage-course-for-women/

Apply for 1:1 Coaching with me here: https://selfexpressedbabe.com/relationship-coaching-for-women/

Jen Dayton returns to discuss the power of choice in relationships, the impact of societal conditioning, and the complexities of coming out. They explore the dynamics of queer relationships, the expectations placed on parenting, and the importance of emotional intelligence in navigating personal connections.

Jen shares their coming out story, the reactions from family, and the lessons learned about self-acceptance and relationship standards. The conversation emphasizes the need for individuals to define their own paths and challenge societal norms.

In this conversation, Cilia and Jen explore the complexities of relationships, sexuality, and self-discovery. They challenge societal norms surrounding monogamy and heterosexuality, discussing the impact of patriarchy on personal relationships.

The importance of communication, consent, and prioritizing one's own needs is emphasized, alongside the exploration of pleasure and sexual education. They advocate for decentering men in relationships, embracing queer identities, and the power of vulnerability and assertiveness. The discussion culminates in reflections on self-love and the potential for growth and change in relationships.

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Here's a previous episode on this show with Jen where we talked about nervous system healing: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/1589071/

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Free Resources from Jen: https://www.jendayton.com/uncle-jens-library

Follow Jen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jendayton/

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If you want a playlist to feel and explore your rage like we mentioned in this episode, here's a playlist for that from Cilia: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2cfTxuIPtx0RUyeCWScpYP?si=a68a7da40ca9443c

(Feel free to follow me there I'm always making new playlists and adding to existing ones!)

Rate & Review this show on Apple to help us get to our first 200 reviews: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/openly-spoken/id1589276227

Follow Cilia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfexpressedbabe/

Julianna shares her journey of self-discovery, exploring themes of chosen family versus given family, the importance of setting boundaries, and the significance of self-love. She discusses her experiences with demisexuality, chronic illness, and the power of positive relationships, emphasizing the need for authenticity and gratitude in life. Julianna's humor and insights provide a refreshing perspective on navigating life's challenges and finding joy in the journey.

Julianna is a registered dietitian, runner, and podcaster of two shows- Into the Fold and Runnah

Connect with Julianna on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jellyanna_runs/

Watch this episode on YouTube (and subscribe to our channel): https://youtu.be/6ZlS_YBONHs

Sara Thornhill shares her personal journey of coming out, navigating relationships, and the importance of self-discovery and healing within the LGBTQIA community. Sara is a lesbian heartbreak Resilience Coach, empowering lesbians and queer people to get over their ex and get back to themselves

This episode touches on the challenges faced during her coming out process, the impact of societal norms, and the significance of meditation and self-love in her life. Sara emphasizes the importance of creating a supportive environment for future generations and the ongoing fight for acceptance and understanding in society.

Connect with Sara on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pranatova/

Join Sara's LGBTQ+ private group for heartbreak healing coaching — https://www.facebook.com/groups/2181421388855870/?ref=share_group_link

Watch this episode on Youtube & subscribe to our channel: https://youtu.be/32vRbnKCTXQ

Watch the video version of this episode on Youtube here: https://youtu.be/X1hEFXB1LbI

Be sure to come back every Tuesday this month for episodes where we pass the mic over to our LGBTQIA+ guests with 3 brand new episodes. Some of these clips are from previous years, here's a list of the guests in order of appearance along with links to their episodes and/or their social media links:

-Sara Thornhill (new episode coming 6/10 but she was on the show a few months ago where we talked about the Transformational Power of Pain and love here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/1859024)

-Jen Dayton (new episode coming 6/24 but I've had her on the show last year where we talked about the nervous system here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/1589071)

-Jane Lyon (episode from 2022 where we talked about how a spiritual and identity awakening intersects here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/490080) Find Jane on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/dakiniinabikini/ -Julianna Coughlin (episode coming 6/17! You can pre-save it here: https://youtu.be/6ZlS_YBONHs?si=IWyit_lihGR1rwXU )

-KalyaMae Smith (episode from 2023 where both her and HER MOM came on to share her coming out story here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/1035467)

-Maria Eilersen (episode from 2022 where we talked about unpacking your conditioning here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/520374) I've also had her on the past when this was more of a business-oriented podcast to talk about PR but those were deleted as the episode has shifted. Be sure to check her out if your business needs PR, here's her website: https://www.beconsciouspr.com/

-Olivia Beaton (we did two episodes for pride in 2022 and it's scary how all the political things we covered are still so relevant in 2025!! Find part one here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/508897 and part two here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/526109) Find Olivia on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/liviebeatz/

-Rachel Martos (episode from 2022 where we talked about emotional resiliency here: https://rss.com/podcasts/openlyspoken/492341) Find Raquel on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/raqmartos/

In this episode of Openly Spoken, Cilia discusses the importance of women reconnecting with their bodies, emphasizing the disconnection epidemic prevalent in society. She explores the significance of language, particularly the word 'pu$$y', and how reclaiming it can empower women.

Cilia shares practical exercises to foster a deeper connection with one's body and enhance pleasure, ultimately advocating for a more embodied and authentic experience of love and sexuality. And with this topic of body connection in mind, the episode starts off with a guided meditation.

LINKS:

7-day Sensual Journal Prompts: https://selfexpressedbabe.com/resources/

Join the Heart Magick waitlist: https://selfexpressedbabe.com/breast-massage-course-for-women/

Follow Cilia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/selfexpressedbabe/

(Answers posted to IG stories and might also be talked about here) Ask an anonymous question about female sexuality, self love, and/or relationships here: https://ngl.link/selfexpressedbabe

Watch this Episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/ZmuGZlFENjc