The nation proves its innocence is still intact by expressing genuine shock at this week's revelations about Donald Trump. Did the man who bragged about committing sexual assault numerous times actually commit sexual assault numerous times? The answer will apparently surprise you!

Cool Dad Tim Kaine debates Scary Dad Mike Pence and the whole nation agrees that neither of them will ever be able to replace their real father. Plus the latest episode of Foreign Leaders Say the Darndest Things!

A mysterious non-dying woman debates a coke-addled muppet on national television and more breaking news from the end of the Republic.

The candidates prepare for Monday's debate while North Carolina deals with its worst crisis since a transgender person had to pee. Plus, fancy trophies for famous people and a reminder that Yahoo is still a thing!

The Clinton campaign races to contain the fallout from the revelation that the former Secretary of State housed a previously undisclosed cardiovascular system and other top stories from the week's news.

Matt Lauer kills the headphone jack and other top stories from the week's news.

Donald Trump proves he's ready for the Oval Office by acting vaguely Presidential for nearly eight whole hours (plus several more reasons to prepare for the apocalypse). More importantly: A new study about dogs!

A vengeful God ravages with the people of earth with natural disasters while a vengeful Trump ravages the news cycle with the unnatural disaster of his campaign. All that, plus a look at the planet we'll all be fleeing to if Trump is elected!

Full team coverage of the 2016 Olympics from as close to Rio as we're willing to get: Chicago, Illinois. Plus breaking news from the broken GOP campaign.

A complete roundup of everyone Donald Trump attacked this week, from a baby who isn't running for President to members of his own party who aren't running for President (yet). Plus an exclusive look at another garbage fire: The Rio Olympics!