Xena challenges the sea god Poseidon, and the laws of gravity, when Gabrielle becomes trapped aboard a ship that's cursed to remain at sea forever. Classic Gabs!

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Xena reverts to her bloodthirsty ways when she takes charge of a decimated army struggling to fight off one of her old enemies, this really upsets Gabs and so they're in a fight for most of the episode. Meanwhile your host Phil tries his best to tackle the more problematic aspects of this episode, while still keeping it light.

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Xena and Gabrielle encounter pirates, the sea god Poseidon and most terrifying of all, heterosexuality. Also, the Sirens alluring call is nothing compared to Xena's haphazard groans.

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When Gabrielle is forced to marry a dead king with a fine ass booty, Xena must work with her kidnapper after she accidentally goes blind.

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Gabrielle is torn between her beleaguered hero Meleager, who's accused of a murder she's certain he didn't commit, and Xena, who's not so sure. Gabrielle tries to stand up to Xena but really, who is she kidding?

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Love goddess Aphrodite (EEE!) turns the bumbling Jerkster into a dashing warrior and uses him to stop a royal wedding so no one will destroy her pretty temples.

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Xena and Gabrielle have to prevent a warlord from plundering one village and the earth's biggest giant from destroying another, while seemingly trying to destroy and plunder each other. Feat sexy baths and pooping.

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Presumed dead, the camp as tits Velasca returns to do battle, forcing Xena to make a sexy but risky deal with her old enemy Callisto, much to Gabrielle's chagrin.

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Xena possesses Autolycus so that he can help bring her back to life in time to pash Gabrielle. Meanwhile Gabrielle surfs Xena's coffin and Julie Cooper shows up to be the campest foe in all of history.

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As Xena lingers between life and death, thanks to a silly little girl and a big tree, she dreams about her sexploits with Julius Caesar and her first girlfriend.

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