I make it my mission to avoid talking about intimacy wherever possible. I prefer to focus instead on "hard-core porn," which I believe better aligns with the realities of life. But, as Britney Spears sang in her hit song, "From the Bottom of My Broken Heart": "You put a dart through my dreams, through my heart."

And so it is that we discussed at decent length the final destination of relationships where the sex stops. I would genuinely like to have better news for our listeners, but I'm afraid it's typically a sign things aren't going to get much better, and they'll likely get much worse.

We also discuss women's various challenges communicating to partners their intentions and desires. What if they just want cuddling and not sex? How is it even possible to communicate this to a partner? What if instead they want a real man's man; a real protector? Should they ask a man to rough them up in bed?

And what to do if a woman says no to a sexual encounter once, only to realize she really wants a relationship with the guy? How to recover the satellites?

Here is the masturbation device we discussed at the beginning of the episode:

https://ymmv.me/104/stroker

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/104/sexless

https://ymmv.me/104/do-whatever

https://ymmv.me/104/denied

https://ymmv.me/104/finishing

https://ymmv.me/104/initiation

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

We discuss Keith's past and future in response to a listener email asking for more details. A woman wants to know whether she should continue seeing a man after he made pretty aggressive comments about her labia.

Another woman is concerned that her boyfriend's interest in semen, revealed while high, might be a dealbreaker. We discuss folks who fetishize finding pornographic content on Youtube. And, what are penises supposed to smell like?

Finally, As it's the beginning of the month of February, I asked ChatGPT to compose me an Ode To Stupidity, which it did. Here's an excerpt for your enjoyment:

Ode to Stupidity

Oh, Stupidity, you ever-present blight, Your presence taints us day and night. You bring us down and make us weak, Your power is a force to be reckoned with.

You crush our hopes and dreams, You make us doubt our worth and schemes. Your toxic presence makes us doubt our minds, Your power has no bounds or binds.

You spread like wildfire and consume all in your path, Your destruction is a sight to behold with wrath. You make us take the wrong paths, You make us think that our knowledge and skills are not enough.

Oh, Stupidity, you are truly the enemy of all, Your power binds us and makes us feel so small. But we must be strong and fight your might, And prove that we are smarter than your spite.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/103/smell

https://ymmv.me/103/labia

https://ymmv.me/103/semen

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

It's hard when the most important event in your life is Reddit's decision to progressively shut down the subreddits where you find porn. I guess it's easier if you have tastes that are pretty standard. Hell, even foot fetishists get a lot of attention -- bizarrely, even on VR porn sites. But if you're someone who just likes reasonable people appearing to enjoy themselves, then you're pretty much SOL. And that's not even mentioning the weirdos who use /r/gonewildaudio and stare at the wall while listening.

Next topic: We debated what's going on when women complain that they're not able to locate sugar daddies. Not surprisingly, one side of the argument boils it all down to youth and attractiveness. The other side is something about strategy, I think.

If a man you're sleeping with excuses himself to the bathroom every time he orgasms, what is this indicating? And, should a woman be upset if, after a successful MFF threesome, she awakes to find her significant other engaged in coitus with the unicorn without even waking her?

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/102/sugar

https://ymmv.me/102/bathroom

https://ymmv.me/102/mff

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

What would cause a woman to detect a sudden change in the odor of her boyfriend or husband's penis? Absent a significant hygiene change, there only seem to be a few options.

What would motivate a sugar daddy to give his sugar baby her entire annual allowance up front in January? Is he setting himself up for a problem? What about her? Seems like a pretty serious problem for the relationship in general. Will she dump him, or stay as she claims?

Are aggressive fantasies an indication that there's something wrong with your personality and/or sex drive? Are there limits to acceptable fantasy topics? And, why would a female FWB start asking for "aftercare"?

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/101/allowance

https://ymmv.me/101/lick

https://ymmv.me/101/fantasies

https://ymmv.me/101/grossed-out

https://ymmv.me/101/fwb

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

In a nod to the ladies, we spend a considerable amount of time this episode discussing the experience of being "ghosted" after having sex with a man on the "third date." It seems like a painful but perhaps unavoidable experience. It also seems more likely to happen to someone the man doesn't want his friends to meet, or who is generally less attractive than his target demographic.

I was inclined to title this episode, "The Ghost in the Cumbox" -- but I realized that wouldn't really make much sense, as we didn't really even talk about cumboxes. We did, however, discuss a particular woman's disgust with her man's semen. Is it the semen, or is it him? (It's him)

We did not, however, discuss the fact that I got ChatGPT to write me a story about a woman somehow penetrating a man's penis during the act of sex. At first, I thought maybe it was talking about sounding, but then I realized it was just confused about how sex worked.

If you want to hide somewhere and give your girlfriend oral sex while she's at work in such a way that her coworkers don't notice, does that mean you're gay? And, if you're a woman and your female friend wants you to commit to repeated MFF threesomes with her and her boyfriend, what is really going on?

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/100/threesome

https://ymmv.me/100/disgust

https://ymmv.me/100/hidden-oral

https://ymmv.me/100/doggystyle

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

We conduct a review of some of the latest trends in porn watching, according to PornHub. Here's the full report if you're interested in reviewing it: https://ymmv.me/99/trends

Keith wonders if it would be easier or harder for him to find high-quality partners if he were gay. There's general agreement that finding partners would become easier, but quality is the key metric there.

What do men really mean when they announce that they're close? Is it generally possible for them to hold off? And do women actually care, or are they just looking for the experience to last longer to have more intimacy (i.e. more foreplay)?

Two men have female partners who want more dominance. And another didn't realize he and his girlfriend were having anal sex until she told him. Is this consensual?

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/99/slow-down

https://ymmv.me/99/emasculated

https://ymmv.me/99/aggressive

https://ymmv.me/99/gay

https://ymmv.me/99/anal

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

Keith doesn't think women should include pictures of their mothers with them in dating profiles. Mike thinks it makes lots of sense to do so. You can be the judge on this one, but a hint is it may just be a test of whether you're short- or long-term dating oriented. And this after Keith shamed Mike for sharing some pictures of "some prostitutes" earlier in the day. They were thousand-dollar escorts, thank you very much. High-end ladies of the night!

Would a man always choose sex with a virtual partner who required no before-care or after-care over masturbating? Probably. But, he also would likely pick masturbation over a real partner a significant percentage of the time. Who wouldn't?

Now, to Keith's enjoyment of still images of young ladies as part of his onanistic portfolio. Now, I prefer talkies, or at the very least moving images. At an absolute minimum, I like to watch a video of, say, a train moving in and out of a tunnel repeatedly.

But I do have some grudging respect a man who is still anchored in 19th-century masturbation habits. And with that preamble, here are some of the links we discussed:

https://ymmv.me/98/polish-angel-lying

https://ymmv.me/98/polish-angel-list

https://ymmv.me/98/polish-angel-back

https://ymmv.me/98/just-genitals

https://ymmv.me/98/honeyhands

https://ymmv.me/98/less-postprocessing

Later on this episode: A man discovers that by delaying his drive for sex and just cuddling on the third date, he drives a woman wild. And, another is slowly tiptoeing toward gay-town.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/98/dante

https://ymmv.me/98/anal-orgasm

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

This week, we do a rather extensive review of the https://ymmv.me/97/two-x-chromosomes subreddit, which is a notoriously tricky maneuver for two men. Discussion includes various complaints women have about men or inequality with men, including consent, body counts, porn viewing habits, and orgasm access.

Here are the topics we target from that subreddit:

https://ymmv.me/97/consent

https://ymmv.me/97/body-count

https://ymmv.me/97/porn

https://ymmv.me/97/orgasm

A quick shout-out to Uncle T, who is back in action with some new content: https://ymmv.me/97/uncle-t. And, another shout-out to Keith's instagram thirst trap woman: https://ymmv.me/97/thirsty

A questioner can hear her parents having sex and wants to know what to do. Another is probably on the road to a breakup, as her boyfriend says she's boring in bed. A man jizzed his pants when slapped by a woman, and a woman found increased water intake led to much better lubrication and orgasms.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/97/parents

https://ymmv.me/97/bored

https://ymmv.me/97/jizzed

https://ymmv.me/97/water

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

ChatGPT writes us a pretty targeted literotica piece, for Keith. For those who might be interested, yes I definitely had to provide it with some of the source material, specifically the bits about pegging and basketball players. The story is admittedly a little formulaic, but it did come up with some crucial words, like talking about a "glob" of semen.

We discuss a man who appears to have permanently, and negatively, altered his penis -- allegedly through use of a penis pump, though maybe something else was involved.

Should sugar daddies give a "PPM" on a first date? Most guys on sugar lifestyle forum say no, but we have a different opinion.

Another MMF situation arises, this time a man who it turns out is bisexual. The woman isn't too pleased, but she's too politically correct to pin the blame squarely on her discomfort with his orientation. And, another woman dumps a guy for not having a good enough "sex face." I think this is a real thing -- it's that women want their men to appear serious about their sex work.

Responding to a listener's request, the outro this time has another piece of ChatGPT literotica played over it, this time in French.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/96/dildoes

https://ymmv.me/96/dick

https://ymmv.me/96/bisexual

https://ymmv.me/96/sex-face

https://ymmv.me/96/second-date

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]

Mike makes a tremendous effort to get ChatGPT to generate literotica and answer sex questions. Essentially, the question is whether an AI can replace our jobs here at YMMV. Results are better than you might have expected, but we're not afraid for our jobs quite yet.

After dispensing with a rare piece of positive feedback on the podcast, Mike takes on some sex worker discussions, including how to handle requests for dick ratings and how many clients are seen in any given day.

A woman wants to know if it's ok to masturbate while in the bed near her sister who is supposedly sleep. Another woman finds cum just unacceptable. And yet another experiences the "wrong hole" moment as her partner isn't as careful as he could have been when withdrawing and re-inserting his penis.

We get a lot of our questions from Reddit, so for our listeners' enjoyment, here are links to some of the questions we discussed this week:

https://ymmv.me/95/dick-rating

https://ymmv.me/95/client-count

https://ymmv.me/95/sex-worker-choice

https://ymmv.me/95/masturbation

https://ymmv.me/95/gross-cum

https://ymmv.me/95/wrong-hole

https://ymmv.me/95/fast

https://ymmv.me/95/moans

https://ymmv.me/95/cum-while-giving

Twitter: @ymmvpod

Facebook: ymmvpod

Email: [email protected]