We hear mixed messages about leaving relationships all the time.  If only you were stronger, you would have left sooner.  If only you were stronger, you would have stayed longer and tried harder.  Weak people focus on themselves too much...and weak people don't focus on themselves and their needs enough.

Such messages are unhelpful and often get us nowhere except bogged down in shame and self-doubt.

The better path is to focus on what's ahead and to pour our energy into moving forward rather than trying to "if only" the past.  What happened, happened, and that's done.  Instead of picking apart the past and beating ourselves up in the process, we can be grateful for where we are now and look forward to what we want to create for ourselves next.