You Better Plan On It Podcast!

Many of us around the world frustratingly sit in a particular situation in which we feel grounded in mud and unable to move. You are either too afraid to move or you have been in your respective place for so long that you are unsure if you can move. You simply need to "make a change."

Now, imagine being at a job or school or somewhere that you greatly dislike and remaining there year after year but you have done next to nothing to remove yourself from that place. I mean, you continuously complain to anyone who will listen and then you go home and complain to your family, loved ones and friends almost daily as well. So, instead of blaming others for your negative attitude and blatant shortcomings, take a hard look at yourself in the mirror and ask, "Why have I not done anything to remedy my situation?" Once you have done that, I say to you to call on our Mighty God and tell Him what you want because prayer absolutely changes things in life. If you do not believe me, then try it for yourself in a sincere manner and I guarantee you that God will answer your prayers! Always remember, however, that God always operates on His time and not on our time!

Listen, so many of us have gone too many years in the same place and you really want to do what you were born to do. You know better than anyone else where you are supposed to be doing but you again have done nothing to get there. Just step out on faith in Jesus' Name and let His will be done for you and you will get exactly where He intended for you to be. However, if you do not believe the possible when it comes to God's Will then it will simply be impossible for you to receive His Grace and Mercy!

Finally, my challenge to anyone out there who needs to make a change is for you to trust in God's Will, reach for the highest peak and then go and obtain the life that He meant for you to live!

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The weight of death can be the most demoralizing situation an individual, a family, a community, a school, a workplace, etc., can go through. Imagine a family of four; a young mother with three children under 10 years of age encountering a fire inside their 2d story apartment building. Mom awakens to the smoke detectors repeatedly going off. She gets up immediately and gathers her children into one room. She realizes there is no way to get out of the front door of the apartment. 911 is called and are fast enroute. However, the fire is quickly spreading and Mom has to make critical, life-saving decisions. 

Mom springs into action by opening the window of the bedroom. At this point, the only opportunity to save her children, regardless of her life is to drop them out of the window. Fear and panic set in because there is no plan in place to combat the fire and get herself and her children to safety. The fire is barrelling close and closer to the room. Suddenly, police arrive on scene but time is quickly running out and the fire department is still making their way to the scene. Mom tells the police the fire is coming into the room and that she must get her children to safety, so please, "Do me a favor and catch them as I lower them out of the window and then release them for you to catch." Of course, the children are in an absolute panic. Mom lowers Kid 1 out first and then lets him go and police safely catch him. She does the same for Kids 2 and 3 and gets them to safety as well. 

The fire is now barrelling inside the room with only Mom left to save. The police tell her to tie sheets together, tie them to the bed post and then lower herself out of the window. Mom is freaking out but time has run out and she takes immediate action. While lowering herself out of the window, the sheets rip but luckily she is caught by a group of First Responders.

So listen, take the time to look at your place of residence and ask yourself if you have items right now that can combat a house fire. If the answer is no, take the time to invest in fire extinguishers, fire protection blankets, etc. Go online and research the cost of these items and also get with your local fire department and ask them to assist you in setting up a Fire Safety Prevention Plan for your respective places of residence. At the end of the day, lives continue to be lost because we are without an effective plan that can save lives, so let's stop procrastinating and get it done!

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One of the most tumultuous, dangerous and cancerous words today is "Hate." The word has a damaging kind of radius that can destroy the life of one, a few or many. Sure, many of us use it on a regular basis but it is not meant in harmful nature. For instance, you will often hear someone say, "Man, I hated that game winning shot on last night because it cost me money, or, I hate you man because you are a clown." These are the kinds of statements you say around your friends that don't really mean much. 

However, when the word hate is used in a serious and more demeaning nature, it can truly become dangerous for others. For example, I recently overheard several young gentlemen having a conversation about a particular individual. One young man said, "If I see him right now I would bust him in has face and beat the hell out of him repeatedly!" I was like wow! That's very threatening language and it absolutely sounded like bad intentions. I mean, think about it, if you hear someone discuss another person or persons in a very violent nature, that should tell you that he or she means business and there may perhaps be a hit of hatred form that person toward the other person. Whether you know the individual or not, you may need to further assess the situation and safely take action to ensure that it is not a matter that will happen where you are located.

At the end of the day, I believe we need to do everything in our power to remove the word from our daily language. I know we use the word hate in a more humorous nature almost all the time but there is a time when the word is meant to harm another. Maybe the person's race or the color of their skin creates the hate in someone unknowingly. Think about the days of Slavery for Blacks or The Holocaust for Jews. Those are serious examples of hate, so for me, I despise the word and I work daily to never use it and so should you!

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Having an effective plan in life-threatening situations can be critical to the lives of others. So, when it is said that, "what goes on in another man's home is not anyone else's business," well, I simply call this a truthful lie. In truth, your home is supposed to be your business and no one else's. However, it is also a lie because if there is ever a situation in which you know, hear about or suspect that your family member, neighbor or friend is being abused in their home then this is where your business is no longer just your business. 

The bottom line is that I believe most people are more than ok with what you do inside your home being only your business. However, when you cross a line inside the home that puts others in danger then it becomes other people's business. Case in point, a couple of weeks ago the former Lt. Governor of Virginia murdered his wife and then himself inside their home. Their 2 teenaged children were in the home at the time and called 911 but were not harmed. Those kids no longer have their parents as a result of the double suicide/homicide. Now, I believe in my heart that someone in that community, whether a family member, neighbor or friend knew that there were significant issues in the family. However, I cannot confirm whether anyone personally checked in on them or called for a wellness check at any point and time. I also cannot confirm if there are those within the family or community who are now saying they wish they would have done something sooner.

In any case, knowing of a truth such as this particular topic (A Truthful Lie) is quite interesting because it can quickly default into a lie when one turns the confines of his or her home into a level of chaos that becomes other peoples' business.

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Here in America, we continue to experience racism because of being a particular race and one's skin color. It is truly amazing that our country still has this issue to date and it doesn't appear that we will ever see it entirely go away, at least not in this lifetime. 

I know how this works because I have lived and experienced racism many times as an African American male. From my early years as a young black kid, to my years as a United States Marine, and on to my later years now as an everyday American citizen living here in the United States, racism has followed me throughout my life. However, I have been blessed enough to recognize those situations time and time again and remove myself far away from many potential dangers. 

From me to you, I absolutely do not ever look at my race as the only one that experiences racism. I do, however, understand that my race does experience racism at a far greater clip than most, if not all other races based on past and current history. Nonetheless, please do yourselves a big favor...Always sit down and make an effective daily travel plan before you go anywhere, especially when it involves distant locations. Plan an exact route, to include locations for rest, food and fuel stops. Also, Google the environment and the type of people within that local area. I do not expect anyone to be overly paranoid, but rather remain vigilant at all times because you never know when you may wind up in an area or location that you are not welcomed. Trust me, you will know whether you are welcomed when you arrive at a location just by the body language of the locals, so be alert and as attentive as possible at all times!

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I believe the "Weight of Death" is for real. The reason I believe this statement is because the loss of someone that you love and miss dearly can outweigh the loss of others that you love and miss dearly. For instance, I lost my  amazing Uncle Freddie Foster and my dear cousin Terry Carpenter within the last week who are actually blood relatives that I've known since childhood. On the other end, I just lost one of my greatest friends and Marine Corps Brothers, MGySgt William "Billy" Cotton. What's interesting is that his death weighs much more heavily on me than my uncle and my cousin's deaths. In any case, I am not exactly sure why such is the case and would appreciate anyone out there who can explain why I am having this experience. 

I mean, Billy and I go back 27 years of knowing each other and simply share an elite-level brotherhood that goes far beyond just a great friendship. For whatever the reason, I have yet to process his loss nor can I shake the weight of his loss. I know I will do so in due time, but it is so difficult at the moment and I need an answer. I know my prayers about why I feel this way will be answered from Above but I would also love anyone's feedback who may have been through this and understand how to explain it to me.

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This episode focuses on military deployments regarding young first and second term military service members. What I learned not only early in my career, but later in my career and today as a Retired Marine, young service members often depart for deployment with important tasks left incomplete on the homefront. They simply focus intensely on unit responsibilities and making sure they display standout performances toward leadership. However, because of such intense focus on unit responsibilities, important homefront tasks get placed on the backburner and then crammed and jammed together at the last minute to get them done. Trust me, my first deployment involved me having to go to my squad leader and ask for a day off because I failed to complete a couple of important tasks involving financial matters. I knew and expected to be chewed out but I was fortunate that I was given the time off to complete my affairs. 

Well, just recently, I listened to several Airmen at Nellis AFB speak about homefront tasks they needed to complete prior to departing for deployment. What was interesting is that they all talked more about unit priorities over family priorities and being a little behind on family matters. I can assure you that unit priorities are going to get done no matter what, so the need to focus on them so intensely is not as concerning because leadership will drive mission accomplishment period. Let's us as leaders, whether in-service or retired teach our young Warriors how to effect family priorities before deployment. We can do this by ensuring our young service members have a detailed daily homefront checklist put together and immediate execution of the checklist started within 24 hours of learning that the unit is going on deployment on this projected date. I understand that not every home operates the same, so the checklist should be dedicated to each respective household and completed in a step-by-step fashion.

At the end of the day, ensuring our young service men and women and their families are prepared for deployment is critical and leave no doubt that their respective homefront is left safe and secure prior to deployment!    

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This episode discusses a unique conversation between two male best friends, a black kid and a white kid between the ages of 10-12. What makes the conversation so unique is that it involves race and ethnicity. The kids apparently have overheard multiple conversations by adults and older kids and thought that they should figure out how they should be perceived: for the black kid, Black or African American and for the white kid, White or Caucasian.  

Imagine, kids this young trying to identify how they should be perceived by others. The black kid asks the white kid, hey, with all the talks we have heard from adults in our families and from older kids, "Should I refer to you as White or Caucasian?" As for me, "Should I be referred to as Black or African American?" The white kid, however, appeared to view being called Caucasian as a word that places him above his best friend and others not like him. On the other end, the black kid viewed the word African American as a word that sounds professional. The black kids further believes that he and his best friend are going one day be excellent professionals in whatever careers they choose. With such as the case, he strongly feels that they both should want to be called African American and Caucasian because those words represent being professional and will identify to others who they are now and in the future. I can only imagine as the conversation continued, the two agreed that African American and Caucasian is who they are from now on, and, I can only hope that their parents and other adults in their families have heard about their conversation and discussed it with them as individuals. 

At the end of the day, young kids feed off of the conversations they hear from adults and older kids, so always be cognizant of what you say around them. Case in point, you have these two bright young kids believing that they already need to figure out their identity in terms of their respective ethnicities and why being referred to as African American and Caucasian is important to their lives right now and once they become professionals in their respective careers.  

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This episode provides a lifeline and empowers you and me to ensure we employ an effective daily action plan to allow us to get from Point A to Point B and back home safely in a safe and efficient manner each and every day. We need to shake off the always set, never changing daily plan because such plans lead to negative outcomes when we run into an issue and have to make an immediate change of plan. Simply put, we are far too comfortable with our normal everyday daily routines which I believe have led to so many negative, unsafe outcomes that could have been prevented a long time ago.

So, when you feel down and out, take a listen to the short, 30-second spiritual rendition of "I Believe in You & Me," an old song from the Late Great Whitney Houston that I sang especially for you when you have a failed plan that completely knocks you off your feet and you just need to be truly uplifted!  

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This episode focuses on suicide and the major challenge it presents to everyone when we know, know of or hear about someone who has attempted suicide or openly talked about it. We as individuals and as people need to take a closer look at our families, friends, neighbors, coworkers, etc., and immediately take action if we find ourselves in such a situation. First, develop a plan either individually or with others to mitigate the issue as quickly as possible. For example, you can do this by taking these 5 critical steps, more specifically with someone you know well:

1. ASK: Tap into the thoughts of the individual by compassionately asking them if they are ok or if they need help with anything. Tell him/her that you noticed that the individual seems a bit off as of late and you want to help. As you pull more from the individual, then focus on asking, “Are you thinking about suicide?” It’s not an easy question to ask, but it can help start a conversation. I have learned that studies show that asking people if they are suicidal does not increase suicidal behavior or thoughts.
2. BE THERE: Listening without judgment is key to learning what the person is thinking and feeling. Research suggests acknowledging and talking about suicide may reduce suicidal thoughts.
3. HELP KEEP THEM SAFE: Reducing access to highly lethal items or places can help prevent suicide. Asking the person if they have a plan and making lethal means less available or less deadly can help the person stay safe when suicidal thoughts arise.
4. HELP THEM CONNECT: Connecting the person with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (call or text 988) and other community resources can give them a safety net when they need it. You can also help them reach out to a trusted family member, friend, spiritual advisor, or mental health professional.
5. FOLLOW UP: Staying in touch with the person after they have experienced a crisis or been discharged from care can make a difference. Studies show that supportive, ongoing contact can play an important role in suicide prevention.

Listen people, suicide is never to be taken lightly, so get involved as much as you possible can and always ensure that the individual knows that you love him/her and you will always be there!

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