You can learn to love by thinking loving thoughts. By focusing on the other person’s needs, pains, difficulties, goals, and desires, not just your own. The old saying goes, ‘It’s easier to understand someone when you walk a mile in their shoes.’ Hurting people tend to hurt other people. If someone is hurting you, that person may be doing so because they are hurting. How can you love them? By looking beyond their faults and seeing their needs. The least lovable people are often those who need love the most. The people we would prefer to ignore are the very ones who need huge doses of love. If a person can’t find love, they will seek attention. And if they can’t obtain positive attention, they will work at attracting negative attention. Unintentionally they are saying, ‘I will be noticed, one way or another.’ Make love the master of your will, not the slave of your emotions. We can’t change our feelings, but we can change our thoughts. When we change how we think about someone, we will steadily change our feelings about that person. When rather than thinking about a person’s faults, we start thinking about their needs, it will change the way we feel. You say, ‘If I act lovingly towards someone I don’t even like, wouldn’t that be hypocritical?’ No, it’s called ‘loving by faith’. When you love by faith, you act yourself into feeling the right way towards that person. Try it and find out for yourself!

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.