You Haven't Seen What? / Crime Files Movie Podcast

Eddie Murphy, AKA The Chosen One, searches for The Golden Child while navigating through Eastern mysticism and Western gangs.

Parry: "Surprisingly, this is NOT a Golden Girls prequel."

Joelle: "No one got to the movies on time the '80s."

Jerry Mitchell is having one of those days. Buddy Revell is always having a bad day. Buddy wants Jerry to fight him after school and Jerry will do ANYTHING to get out of it!

Parry: "What is going on in Buddy Revell's home life?"

Joelle: "That's shady as fuck, Spielberg."

What do you do when your grandpa returns from the dead and wants to spend $687,000 on you? You ask no questions and welcome him back with open arms...right?

Parry: "Donald Sutherland makes me really want to drink orange juice."

Joelle: "I don't understand the (acting) transition from having sexual relations with somebody and then pretending that they're your sibling."

Often looking for the bigger, better deal, Rob Gordon traverses through relationships, one autobiographical record at a time.

Parry: "I have a medical condition. It's called premature exposition."

Joelle: "I married Rob Gordon."

Dirty Dancing is a story about finding out who you are, when you thought you knew exactly who you were and then falling in love in the most unexpected places (oh, and classism, sexism, and abortion).

Parry: "broccoli wrapped in bacon"

Joelle: "There's no basement in the goddamn Alamo!"

Another world, another time, in the age of wonder. A thousand years ago, this land was green and good - until the Crystal cracked. A single shard was lost. Then strife began and two new races appeared, the cruel Skeksis and the gentle Mystics. Now, once more, the world must undergo a time of testing. Now the Crystal must be healed, or pass forever into the rule of evil. What was sundered and undone shall be whole - the two made one.

Parry - "Skeksis sounds like an STD"

Joelle - "The Crystal" (ad infinitum)

The King of Spandex Miniskirts wants to bump off his annoying wife, but she is kidnapped before he has the chance. His mistress and her lover plan to blackmail him for the crime, but their "evidence" is compelling for the wrong reasons. The clueless kidnappers keep lowering the ransom in the hope that they can finally get their basement back. Only the Memphis furniture is more colorful than this cast of characters.

Parry: "Ruthless People might just be the nexus of the 1980s!"

Joelle: "Eat your potatoes!"

When an 80's "Pack 'O Villans" vandalize a boy's beloved Honda Elite scooter, his sister goes straight to the main bully's father for restitution. But when his Douchey Dad forcibly attempts a sexual layaway plan and is accidentally shot by her brother, Billie Jean and her friends are forced to run. Along the road to redemption, Bille Jean becomes a modern day Joan of Arc as she leads a grassroots teen rebellion against narrow-minded adults in an attempt to prove that "Fair is Fair!"

Parry: Is it really so surprising that I thought there was some connection between Billie Jean and Billy Idol?

Joelle: #FairIsFairBillieJeanSoundtrack

Ep 6: Midnight Madness (1980) - "You've gotta stand up and face life! Go for the GUSTO!"

Leon, the Game Master, coerces several groups of college students into participating in "The Great All-Nighter," a clue-based scavenger hunt-style race through Los Angeles.

Parry: I personally believe that "Leon" (if that is indeed his real name) now works for the Russians.

Joelle: Pabst Blue Ribbon, OHoooOoOoOH!

Ep 5: The Princess Bride (1987) -"I do not think it means what you think it means."

A farcical fairy tale about a woman who agrees to marry a prince when she believes her true love has been killed by pirates. Before the wedding can take place, she is kidnapped, but quickly rescued by her long-lost love, now a pirate himself. Before they can live happily ever after, they must escape the prince, who plans to kill them all. Oh, and there is a six-fingered man who just has to die by the end...

Parry: How much of Game of Thrones was "borrowed" from The Princess Bride?

Joelle: Why do the eels have to look like Jaws?