Kids these days will never know what it is like to slice their own bread, they have no drive or conviction

School is the best time of your life, because you can commit crimes without being sent to big boy jail

Run into your local Kmart and buy this new kitchen tool, it is absolutely useless, but you will feel better after spending $15 on some nonsense

Screw death bed confessions, I want to go out smoking 100 ciggies and macrodosing 2000mg of caffeine

There are many hills you shouldn't stand on. Ant Hills, Hills at Russian Missle bases, or Hill 60.

I think the worst job in the world is mine. When my Daddy got me a job at his company, I expected to be the CEO, but instead I am a CFO. I had to answer a call yesterday, something about Payroll. My 700k a year isn't enough

A sniff test is a time honoured tradition to work out if something should be eaten. For example, if milk smells sour then don't eat it, or if something isn't fish but smells like fish, don't eat that either

Bad Habits lead to Ed Sheeran. Don't fall into the trap

Seasons are very important, and should be taken into consideration when planning things like Holidays. For example, you don't visit countries in Monsoon season, or invade Russia in Winter

The Sandwich, the "That will do" meal from across the world. You can even get it without crust if your a toddler, or a pathetic excuse for an adult