A perfectionist seeks to achieve nothing less than perfection. Dorothy Littell Greco writes: ‘I’ve been a perfectionist for as long as I can remember…I had to get A’s, had to win, and had to please everyone. Every mistake or perceived failure unleashed a torrent of self-condemnation…Perfectionism often [comes from] insecurity and a faulty understanding of grace. During the first few years…parents are meant to communicate through their words and actions that we’re…lovable, even though we do nothing to earn that love…But not all of us were the beneficiaries of such parenting. Many of our needs were met with frustration or even anger, which we interpreted as, “There’s something wrong with me.” When that’s the case, over time, shame creeps in…[and] distorts our understanding of our self-worth. The voice of perfectionism increased when I started following Jesus. I feared being judged and…excluded, [which] motivated me to prove my worth to my fellow Christians. Though I believed, theoretically, that I was saved by grace, I lived as if I had purchased salvation on credit and was accruing an enormous debt. I [lived] as if Jesus would tear up our “salvation contract” the moment I made a mistake. As I began to understand that pride and a fear of mankind were driving my perfectionism, I confessed this as sin…[and] the chokehold started to loosen. Like the Samaritan woman at the well, I needed Jesus to break in and tenderly reorient me to his living water.’ Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to be a blessing to others – you just have to be real!

© 2024. Written by Bob and Debby Gass. Used by permission under licence from UCB International.