Your Confident Self

Stop trying to be perfect so you can build your perfectly imperfect life. I am not advocating that we aim to be mediocre (you know me better than that), but I want us to stop setting ourselves up for failure.

Aiming for perfection can lead you to succeed in your life and work. But, nothing will break your confidence down like unrealistic expectations and undue pressure from a quest to be perfect. It's exhausting and can become a huge burden. And deep down, you probably know that your expectations of yourself and others are a little out of control.

It's better to build something imperfect than wait to build something perfect. Get it built! Then tweak it.

HOW TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM:

If your perfectionism is interfering with your ability to form and maintain relationships, get satisfaction from your work, increase your confidence, etc., here are some strategies to break free:

• Breaking your big stuff down into small, do-able steps and focus on each one
• Give yourself a break
• View the world in colors and levels
• Lean on humor

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/023

In a previous post, I shared how failure can lead to some of the biggest successes, but what if you never try? If you don't try, your chances of success are 0%.

We can find numerous stories of people throughout history who have failed but refused to give up. I can only imagine how many people told them they would never succeed, repeatedly pointed out their previous failed efforts, and even characterized their attempts as pathetic.

As many successful stories as we can find that started with failures, I bet there are many more people who let the doubts of others and their own fears prevent them from trying at all. Don't be one of those people!

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/022

How can we overcome low self esteem? There are lots of different reasons why our self esteem may suffer. But if we don't address these issues, low self esteem can damage your confidence and lead to larger issues like anxiety, social withdrawal, depression, and even suicide.

Self esteem is rooted in how you feel about yourself compared to confidence which is rooted in what you believe you can accomplish, based on your past results.

There are steps you can take to overcome low self esteem and make sure that you do not internalize issues that are really external to you. You are not the sum of your circumstances and are in control of how you view these events.

THE STEPS FOR OVERCOMING LOW SELF ESTEEM ARE:

• Surrounding yourself with positive people
• Focusing on the future, not the past
• Setting reasonable expectations
• Recognizing your accomplishments
• Working toward a greater good
• Making a cheat sheet of your best qualities
• Getting appropriate support

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/021

What is the price of not being authentic? Have there been times in your life when you felt you weren't acting like your true self? Maybe you were unsure of a new situation or you lacked the confidence to reveal who you truly are. When I challenged a friend about whether or not she was behaving in a way that was consistent with her brand, I had some interesting insights.

I think there is a cost to pay for hiding who you are, and it is a very real cost. Hiding who we are, puts in an emotionally unhealthy cycle. In addition, behaving in a way that is not authentic can make you question who you are. Insidious, isn't it?

• Monitoring your feelings
• Giving yourself space and time
• Calling yourself on faking it
• Paying attention to what triggers the inauthentic behavior
• Being brave enough to be who you are
• Trusting that the right people appreciate YOU

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/020

Today on the podcast, I offer 7 benefits of spending time alone. Sometimes we get too caught up in being lonely and choose to spend time with the wrong people. A couple weeks ago I published an affirmation about avoiding toxic people so that you can feel less lonely.

I also did an interview on Empower Radio recently about why people don't remove themselves from toxic relationships. Both of these posts inspired some questions and feedback from listeners because they understood that they should remove toxic people, but they didn't want to be lonely. They asked me why being alone would be better than spending time with these people.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/019

Let's take a look at how to be more confident at work this week. Feeling confident and demonstrating confidence are two different things. You want to make sure that you are showing the world how confident you are, because confidence is an important element in being seen as successful by your peers. Sometimes we do a great job of showing our confidence everywhere except in our workplace.

In this episode we discussed:

• How your voice influences whether or not you are seen as confident
• The importance of word choice
• The specific language you should avoid
• What to do when your emotions get the best of you
• Secrets to using your volume to communicate effectively

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/018

As a quick recap, here are the first 5 reasons you aren't where you want to be that I talked about in last week's show:

1. You don't know what you want
2. You don't have a plan to get from here to there
3. You lack resources
4. The people around you don't support you
5. You don't really know what you wantWe have just a little bit further to go to figure out why you still aren't where you want to be yet.

In this episode, we look at the final 5 reasons you still aren't where you want to be:

• You lack skills
• You lack stamina
• You're afraid of failure
• You're afraid of success
• You don't think you can get where you want to be

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/017

I want to interrupt my ongoing discussion about toxic people and give you hope and provide some top reasons you aren't where you want to be. Would it excite you to know there are just 10 reasons you are not where you want to be? YET!

Based on emails and comments I have received, there is a lot of frustration building up. When you look at your life, you may be miles away from your goals and dreams – so far you wonder if you’ll ever get there. This gap can be especially frustrating when you feel like you’re working really hard to make your dreams come true.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/016

It's time! Today, declare your independence from everything that hinders you from being fabulous. It will really be a day worth celebrating when we declare our independence from everything that no longer serves us. Imagine how good it will feel and how powerful you will be when you let go of the junk that's weighing you down. In this episode of the podcast, I explore what independence means in an actionable way.

• The dictionary definition of independence
• What independence means for us
• Who or what we need to be free of
• How being dependent helps us
• How to tell when we're ready to move on
• Several powerful examples of situations that no longer serve you
• The secret to change.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/015

You want to find your lane (your purpose) so that you can get in your lane and stay there, right? I've been thinking a lot over the last few weeks about intention, focus, purpose, fighting fear, etc. Basically I have been thinking about all the things that will prevent you from stepping into and living out your purpose. One of things I think really distracts a lot of us is too many options.

If you have multiple talents, it can be harder for you than for others to figure out which one talent you want to focus on in this moment. It sounds so weird, but I sometimes feel sorry for people who are good at too many things.

I tell my brother and sister all the time, because they are both really smart, that I realize it can be really hard to figure out what they want to do with their lives because they are good at so many things. Who knew being really talented could be a blessing and a curse?

I think the inability to identify your ’highest purpose' or at least the skill that you want to focus on right now is tough. Maybe you aren’t ready to do your highest work right now, but you would like to pick one of the things you are fabulous at to start with.

The inability to narrow that list down, is what prevents so many of us from doing so many of the things we say we want to do and what the universe really needs for us to do. Keep reading to discover how to find your lane so you can get in it.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/014