Your Confident Self

This episode is a wild ride that you will probably want to take twice. We start our conversation with the one thing Kim Coles would like to pour into women’s heads.

In this episode we examine:

* Permission to live out loud

* Permission to live a good life

* Permission for radical self care

* Permission to be the best you ever

And perhaps most importantly, it's permission to be who you are. So many women are stuck because they are asking permission to live fully. Is it ok if I shine? If I speak in a meeting? If I leave this bad relationship? We have this yearning for someone to tell us it’s ok. It's ok.

Other topics include:

• When neglecting ourselves became a badge of honor
• What self care means
• The surprising reasons we're afraid of self care
• The obvious AND hidden benefits of taking care of yourself
• The stunning moment when Kim found herself broke and broken. And how she got over it.
• Kim's favorite self-care exercise

And don't blink. Kim even flipped the script and started coaching me! And I loved it.

Show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/043

It's a lot easier to say I can't, than it is to say, I'm scared. But that's precisely what we are really saying when we hide from success and ignore new opportunities. The goal of today's show is to provide understanding of how 'I Can't' damages you.

If you fall victim to a negative 'I Can't' attitude, it can poison nearly every aspect of your life. It can affect your business plans, career goals, and even personal relationships. Oh, the horror! In today's show, I take aim at 'I Can't' and provide 4 steps for putting that attitude in its place.

Full show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/042

When you think about improving your self-esteem, it's natural that you would look inward for areas to improve. But, instead of looking inside for all the reasons you're not more confident or successful, today let's look at your environment. Changing your environment can boost your self-esteem.

Low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can be caused by a number of things. While it’s true that there are internal things that cause low self-esteem, there are external factors that also contribute to low self-esteem.

Take a few moments and think about these environmental factors that can affect self-esteem.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/041

A lot of people talk about reframing situations, but not a lot of people know how to do it. Today we will look at 7 situations and explore how to reframe negative situations.

I have been blogging lately about self talk, to be clear, I am talking about the inner sound track of your mind. Unfortunately, a majority of people have a negative sound track that plays over and over in their head. That means, your inner critic (I call mine Wilhemina, or Willie) has easy access to you and always seems to get your attention and make you doubt yourself. Your inner critic knows all your secrets and she knows the best buttons to push to prevent you from being powerful. She is a liar, but she can be persuasive.

Most of the things that I hear from my negative self talk I would never dream of saying to anyone else. And I certainly wouldn't allow anybody else to talk to me that way! And yet Wilhemina persists.

There are seven situations inside, that we can break down to reframe negative situations to use positive self talk. Our goal is to have Wilhemina shut up, and we want to replace that negative talk with powerful talk.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/040

So many of us think that success is hard and failing is easy. Wrong! It’s a lot harder to be unsuccessful. Why? Because getting stuck and STAYING stuck requires you to adopt behaviors (turn them into habits) that take a lot of work to create and maintain.

Today, let's take a look at the top 3 reasons why women get stuck.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/039

Today is one of those days in which a gigantic lesson revealed itself when I was least expecting it. It's funny how often that happens. In the midst of a tough day, full of grief and disappointment, I had a relevation that I just had to share.

In This Episode...

Back from a hiatus, this first episode of the new season of the Your Confident Self Podcast is small but mighty. Just like the gigantic lesson inside!

I wasn't expecting to find anything deep on this day and I definitely wasn't expecting too much from a trip to the grocery store. I shop all the time when I'm doing a Whole30 because fresh, whole foods need to be purchased when they are 'fresh'. But my day took a weird turn that filled me with unexpected gifts.

Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, what did you do with the energy created?

Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/038

In this episode you'll discover:

• How an unsexy profession led me to helping others see the fabulous within themselves
• How you know when it's time to make some sort of leap/change and what boredom has to do with it
• Why I am so afraid of being bored
• Steps you can take to stop being comfortable and why you want to do that
• How to exercise your courage muscle to get past fear
• The ways you can steal the power away from fear
• The unique power that entrepreneurs possess
• What do you do if you hate marketing
• Why strong women who 'Go Big or Stay Home' choose to stay home
• The one instance in which encouragement can be a bad thing

The complete transcript is on the way, but until then here are some quick action steps from this episode.

Steps to deal with paralyzing fear:

1. Recognize that fear is a signal of something else, it's not the real issue.
2. Peel the onion, why are you really afraid?
3. Expose fear to light so it will become powerless.
4. Your fear may never happen.
5. If you plan for the thing you fear, it's a much smaller deal if it happens.
6. You can handle what you fear because you have evidence that you have handled things before.

Show notes are available at https://allegrasinclair.com/037

How any sleep mistakes are there?! Today I'm chatting with a delightful woman who works predominantly offline but is building a fabulous online presence as well. Dr. Tracey Marks shares the biggest sleep mistakes you are making that you could easily avoid.

Dr. Marks is a psychiatrist and focuses on working women who are too tired, busy, stressed out, etc. Those women who are Beyond Burnout. She helps women devise strategies to recover from “burnout” and live healthier lives for themselves and their families.

IS LACK OF SLEEP REALLY A BIG DEAL?

Is lack of sleep really such a big deal? Many people believe they need to shave off sleep to get more done throughout the day, but your body will tell you when you haven’t had enough sleep! It starts subtly like little whispers, but eventually those little whispers will become big shouts and then the real problems start.

Did you know that chronic sleep deprivation can cause depression? Or did you know that you actually gain weight when you don't get enough sleep? Shut the front door! The list of things that happen to our bodies due to lack of sleep goes on and on.

People are talking about lack of sleep more now than ever, but the conversation is only beginning. It’s an exercise in futility to continue making the biggest sleep mistakes and neglecting sleep while still trying to get more and more done.

Running on only 4 hours of sleep isn’t a badge of honor! The average adult should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night, but that’s often difficult for most people because there’s always so much “stuff” that needs to get done.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/036

The holidays can be lonely for a lot of people. There, I said it. Now we can stop pretending that everybody MUST have the same holiday experience. That's a holiday lie. A holiday truth is that you can have the holiday you want, IF you're willing to show love . What do I mean? Let me tell you a story. This is the Fable of the Christmas Songbird or how showing love can transform you.

WHY ARE THE HOLIDAYS LONELY FOR SOME?

Some people are lonely because they're single.

Some people are lonely because they wish they were single.

Some people are lonely because they feel they don't have anywhere to go.

Some people are lonely because they need some time at home, to think and plan for a better new year.

And some people are lonely because they have fallen for the hype of the fake lives being lived on Instagram and Facebook.

No matter the reason, the root of loneliness is a focus on self. Thinking back on Soraya the Songbird, please know that I am not minimizing anybody's experience. However, I believe that you can stop being lonely and have the love and the holiday you want, if you are willing to give love where it’s needed.

WHAT THE SONGBIRD TEACHES US:

Focus on the impact of your love, not on the target.

Expand your definition of family

Focus on what opportunities you have, not those you don't

Delight in the changes/impact sharing your love has on YOU

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/035

Have you ever wondered how some women make all the right connections? Have you ever wanted to get better at making connections with people and stop simply exchanging business cards that you lose or forget about while they gather dust in the drawer?

I’m talking about meaningful connections! It’s so critical to make the right connections when building your business.

Today, my fabulous guest, Dr. Sandi Eveleth, shares precisely how she does that, and how you can do it, too

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/034