Your Confident Self

How can you tell if you really like yourself? It's probably something you don't think about because you just assume that you do. But, according to an American sociologist, at any given moment, 80% of the world doesn't like themselves. I'm a little scared of the answer, but I need somebody to do research on what the number would be for women. Do you think it's higher or lower?

This morning I found myself thinking, 'I really like myself'. That's not the first time I've had that thought, or even my most enthusiastic episode of self approval. It struck me today because I realized that I've spent a couple of days NOT liking myself.

Spending time not liking myself sneaks up on me, just like I know it sneaks up on you.

I read an article that outlined 15 ways that people show they don't like themselves but I disagreed with some of their ideas, so here is my list.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF YOU DON’T LIKE YOURSELF?

Things that used to delight you, don’t make you as happy. And you start to talk smack to yourself for ever having enjoyed them.

Your self care starts to slip, specifically what you eat and how much you sleep.

You respond to things differently, often in a negative way. Being reactive and defensive are not a good look.

You try to ignore your self talk but in truth you are only ignoring the POSITIVE self talk because it doesn’t match the negative conversation that’s going on in your head.

Get the full show notes at https://allegrasinclair.com/063

Need some help liking yourself? There is no need to suffer alone. Schedule a Discovery Call and learn how to reject negative thoughts about yourself and start liking yourself again.

Have a friend who needs to hear this? Tell them how to listen to this podcast.

In this week's episode of the podcast I am going to take a look at what hope is and why you should care.

I got a question on Twitter the other day that I decided to answer here on the podcast in addition to responding directly. The question was, "With all the stuff that’s going on how do you stay hopeful about everything? It feels trivial to be concerned with my stuff when there’s so much happening in the world."

Short answer: I see you and I hear you. The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.

The weight of all the mayhem in the world gives me pause, too. However, I actively choose to focus on the things that I can control. That’s not always easy, but it is always necessary.

If there is something I can do, I need to be brave enough to do it. If not, I need to flourish in my spot so that my influence grows. If I want to be able to tackle bigger problems, I have to build a bigger platform. At this point in my life, The only thing I fear is not doing what I’m on this earth to do. That’s it.

This episode includes:

* What Hope Is

* Why Haters Attack Hope

* Why You Should Care About Hope

* How Hope and Confidence are Connected

Show notes are available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/062

I know you want to take control of your career and remove fear. With all the rapid changes in the workplace it's natural to experience some fear. Will the company stay profitable? Will you be able to continue to progress and move up the organization? Are you going to be replaced by a robot? We delve into these questions and more in today's episode of the podcast.

Many of my coaching clients are accomplished, mid-career women who:

• Are worried that the changing workplace seems to be leaving them behind
• Want to turn their career upside down and do something different but they aren't sure what they want to do

Today's guest, Nicolle Merrill has a delicious blend of skills that helps both groups.

IN THIS EPISODE WE DISCUSSED:

1. How to take control of your career
2. How the world of work is changing and why
3. The changing world of work does not mean you have no value
4. Whether robots are taking all our jobs
5. Why we shame people for not moving up the corporate ladder
6. How we're missing opportunities to up-skill
7. The skills we should focus on to remain relevant in the workplace
8. How you build influence in your workplace

Get the show notes and resources at allegrasinclair.com/061

If you change the content you see, your life will improve. You may not realize it, but you are ‘bathed’ in content every day. And the content you see affects you in many ways. If you expose yourself to a lot of negative content, you will experience anxiety and self-doubt frequently.

In fact, absorb enough negative content and you will start having epic levels of self doubt. But, if you bathe yourself in positive content, your life will improve.

For the purpose of this discussion, anything that is not positive, is negative.

When you expose yourself to negative messages often, you train your brain to think negatively about everything. You will begin to fret about things that will probably never happen. This leads to worries about your health, your relationships, your finances, etc.

Excessive worrying can even lead to feelings of high anxiety and make you feel physically ill, according to WebMD. Once this has been going on awhile, you are rewarded with a testy attitude and constant negative thoughts.

This is important to tackle because chronic negativity can really harm you. (OK, the article says it can kill you, but I wanted to be a little more positive.)

If you've been around here for a while you know I don’t point out problems and then leave you hanging without a solution. You can combat the effects of all this negative content by exposing yourself to positive content throughout your day.

Show notes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/060

I thought LinkedIn was a place to post your resume if you were actively looking for a job. And that's all I did, check in every 4 years or so and make a half-hearted attempt at keeping my resume updated. Usually I would hop on there when I started getting a bunch of email notifications that people were congratulating me on a work anniversary for a company I'd left several years before.

I’m comfortable not knowing everything and I love finding people who I can tap into for specific expertise. And today's guest is a LinkedIn rockstar. Donna Serdula started on LinkedIn back in 2005, so she is the perfect person to bring all the LinkedIn knowledge.

In this episode we discussed:

• The one thing you SHOULD NOT do on LinkedIn.
• Why people love LinkedIn
• If LinkedIn isn't about job search what IS it about?
• The top 3 specific reasons that professional women need to be on LinkedIn
• How LinkedIn has changed over time
• What you should do if your struggle to get started with LinkedIn
• The new way people are using LinkedIN more and more
• How to request recommendations on the platform
• Things you can do on LinkedIn weekly that will have impact without making your lose your mind

Shownotes available at https://allegrasinclair.com/059

What if the things you have always believed aren't true? What if it's within your power to do and believe new things? This is your introduction to the startling power of 'what if'.

I know how strongly we hold our beliefs. I’m not necessarily talking about limiting beliefs, I’m speaking in more broad terms. We are a nation that questions a lot of things but what we believe, we REALLY believe. And to our credit, it's hard for us to shake off things that we believe in strongly.

There are certain things that I believe that you can’t shake me from. Period. Ever. For example, I believe that all people are created equal, and I believe that education is magical.

However, what if your strong beliefs aren’t positive? I’ve been hearing from a lot of my coaching clients about their beliefs and many of these beliefs are unshakeable. The challenge comes when the belief is something that makes them feel bad. Or something that holds them back when they are ready to move forward.

A few of the more negative beliefs sound like this:

* I could never do that

* I just can't get over this

* I should just be content with my life is and stop dreaming of bigger and better things

Do any if these beliefs sound familiar? Just for today, let's dream. What if you were able to believe something different? How different would you be as a result of the new belief? Would you like yourself better? Would you be able to help more people and increase your impact and influence on the world around you?

I don’t know what belief is currently weighing you down, but in this 'what if ' game, let's look at 2 new beliefs you can try on for size.

Show notes available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/058

Many women struggle with what other people think of us. That mis-placed focus is very common even though you know how dangerous it can be to base your self-esteem on the way someone else chooses to treat you.

However, the danger is magnified when abuse comes from the closest possible person--yourself! You need to know how to get out an abusive relationship with yourself.

This is definitely a Big Girl Panties episode as we take a deep look at whether we've created an abusive relationship that we need to address.

Show notes available at allegrasinclair.com/057

In the last episode of the podcast, I talked about how to increase your self awareness. In this episode, Tai Goodwin visits with me to continue that discussion, but from a slightly different perspective. Tai teaches us how to live a life aligned with who we really are.

Tai's business focuses on entrepreneurs who are building businesses, but the importance and benefit of being self aware is relevant for all of us.

Being willing to take the steps to move into what you want has been a theme on the podcast, and today we talked a lot about self awareness and being willing to pivot or make change.

I asked Tai if she only had 5 minutes, what she would want my audience to know and she answered: I am all about helping women make their business bankable. I want them to be seen and heard, without feeling like they have to become somebody else to do it. And I want them to make as much money as they want.

Tai says you're bankable if you love the work you're doing, you love the clients you're getting, you're completely joyous about the money you get paid

Topics discussed:

* The authority renaissance going on in business building

* How the 'wizard' behind the screen is messing with a lot of people

* The dangers of being transparent

* Tai's pet peeve about email lists

* Why we tend to focus on tasks instead of principles

* How to tell if you're BankableWhether you can get burnt out doing something you love

Who is Tai Goodwin?

Tai Goodwin is on a mission to help 10,000 entrepreneurs create more joy and wealth in their lives and businesses. She's the CEO of Aligned + Bankable and creator of the Growth Alignment Index(TM). An intuitive business growth strategist and teacher, she works with empathic, introverted, and highly-sensitive entrepreneurs, showing them how to build a profitable business that's in 100% alignment with who they are.

Show notes are available at: https://allegrasinclair.com/056

Why do you live where you live? Why do you love or hate the job you have? What motivates you to get up in the morning? What has led you to this point in your life?

These are all questions that many women can't answer. They don't have the self-awareness to know who they are. They don't know why they've made the choices they've made or why they struggle with certain things.

In fact, many people who lack self-awareness find that they aren't happy but they don't know why. It's this generalized anxiety or discomfort that they cannot name.If we find ourselves in this situation, sometimes we blame others or we blame circumstances.

The truth is, that we probably do have some degree of self-awareness and like many skills, it's one that we can improve. In this episoe we'll look at how when you improve your self-awareness, great things can happen for you!

Show notes can be found here: https://allegrasinclair.com/055

P.S. Thanks for the 5-Star Ratings! I really appreciate you.

Are you ready to stop making excuses? Many of us had big dreams early in life. I think young women are the best dreamers in the world! When we're young it's a time of limitless dreams and possibilities. Want to be a firefighter and a ballerina? Done. Want to be a mermaid who flies through the water? No problem.

Whether our dreams were big or small, as life started to happen, we put some of our dreams on a shelf. Your dreams are still living somewhere in your mind but you don't think about them and you definitely aren't doing anything to make them a reality. You haven't given up on them entirely, but you put them away to protect your heart.

In this episode we look at our excuses and how to overcome them to make our dreams come true.

Show notes are available at allegrasinclair.com/054