This reflection ends with a stated question: What is one area of your growth that is attached to shame? This question is connected to a running thesis that shame impedes growth. As a build up to this question, I talk about the sense of self (as a calling to develop it in others)--especially among those whose sense of self was damaged by chaotic family structures. I also talk about theory building, Christianity and congregational possibilities for sense of self development. Finally I talk about Your Ni Dom project as one for the growing (and possibly the healing) self.

This reflection is about a conflict between harmony (Fe) and authenticity (Fi) within the context of family systems theory.

This reflection is Part 2 to a larger reflection about being an INTJ8. In it I talk about the ways family trauma continues across generations.

This reflection, which is scheduled to be Part 1 to a larger conversation about being an INTJ8, deals with sister dynamics when the childhood home was filled with chaos and abuse.

This reflection is about an extraverted feeler (INFJ) wanting access to my introverted feeling (INTJ), especially since it's third in my stack. In this reflection I talk about insecurities around abandonment and rejection and how I am no longer governed by these insecurities. I also talk about my analytical preference and the role it plays in protecting my introverted feelings. Finally, I talk briefly about the burden of being an Ni dom and how people do not like being on the receiving end of Ni observations. Random note: the core value of this reflection is in talking about the difference between being a cognitive partner and being an advisor and the fluidity (or not) of moving in-between those two roles.

This reflection ends with a discussion about being an observer and having the ability to observe the inner world as well as the outer world. Another point about being an observer, specifically in observing the inner world, delineates between thinking and feeling. In the reflection I become aware of my ability to observe (and analyze by way of my Te) my feelings even if, at the time, I'm not conscious that observing (and analyzing) is what I'm doing. Note: I drop into two rabbit holes in route to my main consideration: writing (being a writer) and some family drama.

This reflection is Part 2 to Cognitive Partners. It explores deal breakers in friendships and considers the degree in which intellectua intimacyl is required.

In this reflection I talk about cognitive partners as a concept. I explain what is meant by that framing and then explore different people in my life who have occupied that role. The reflection ends with a set up to Part 2 where I want to talk about deal breakers and whether or not being a cognitive partner is a definite must in my intimate relationships.

This reflection ends with a consideration of the self as related to people, place and time. It raises the question of the true self when confronting different selves and the challenge of planning and making decisions in the absence of a central-identity. To get to this consideration, I talk about a leadership framework that assesses nine points of power one can access to have influence in the world. I also talk about being both a creator and an advisor in that system and how those power points connect to my four cognitive functions as an INTJ. I give an assignment at the end of this reflection which can be accessed at www.yournidom.wordpress.com.

In this reflection I talk about two learning orientations: growth and achievement. I contast the two and talk about the ways they impact our identities. As a set up to this reflection, I talk about teaching and grading (letter grades versus proficiency grading).