The Power of ‘No’ Is Good and Healthy

As you start to improve your life, people will be attracted to you and want you to start helping them more and more. Helping more people is good but can also be wrong because the tendency is to put your goals and your plans off for others; hence, the power of No.

If you put off your goals and plans, you are NOT moving in a positive direction of where you want to go; therefore, you will start to get angry, frustrated, unmotivated and resentful. You will start going backward.

Healthy Boundaries

One of the most influential words in the English language is, ‘NO.’

By discovering the power of No will help you to start laying a foundation of where your morals and values are.

‘No’ will help you to discover your beliefs. You will realize how much you have put other peoples agendas over your own.

When you recognize how much you are catering to others, you will be able to make the changes to bring your joy, happiness, and love of life back to you.

Say Yes to Your Life by Saying No

I wished I could say that saying, “No” is going to be easy, but it’s not. No is powerful and starts to make some people uneasy if you have always said, “Yes.” before. However, it is ironic that ‘No’ is what you need to say to keep powerful, healthy relationships. The more you start to say, “No” the more you start to say, “Yes” to your life and making you the best you possible.

Never discredit the word ‘No’ because this powerful word will move mountains for you. You will discover the time you thought you lost. You will find the energy that was forever gone.

I love to coach and mentor people, but I have to be selective because there are people that I’ll start working with that don’t keep commitments. If I kept working with those people and trying to get them to change their negative behaviors, I would get extremely frustrated and start disliking what I was doing. Once I started saying ‘No’ to people who would NOT keep their commitments, I was able to help a lot more people who would.

How Could You Leave the One

You may be saying to yourself, “How could you give up on that person?”

I want to point out that I did not give up on that person, they gave up on themselves by not following through, by not showing integrity. I created this website to help those people until they reach the point that they love themselves enough to keep their commitments.

By realizing the power of ‘No,’ I can help a lot more people. I have been able to expand my reach and serve even more men, women, and children. ‘No’ is what helped me recognize the power of these articles, videos and podcasts and how they would support thousands.

Make a Plan

Look at your life, as it is right now, what things do you have planned that help you be the person you want to be? How much of that is being put off to help others? Who are you allowing to monopolize your time, money and energy?

After analyzing your life, decide if you want to allow these people to take priority over you. Remember you can only help someone to your best ability. If you are the best you, that is a more powerful help than a grumpy, angry or frustrated but willing you.

You’re Amazing, Believe It!

Mentor, Coach, and Speaker in Utah • Tony Rhoton

I love myself; You should love yourself too.

Every day you are bombarded by negative thoughts from the media, family, friends and worst, yourself. I want you to think about how many negative thoughts you’ve had about yourself today. How many were there? Don’t beat yourself up if you’ve had 1, 100, 500 or more because it’s normal. I said it’s normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay.

You internalize junk that does not serve you. You have things inside of you from events that happened to you when you were a child. It is time to grow. It is time to expand beyond your inner child and become the person I know you can be. It’s time to be the person that achieves your goals and soars beyond your expectations. You are amazing; there’s no doubt in my mind.

Start Saying It.

You need to change the story that is deep inside. You’re a talented and gifted person. You need to love yourself and say, right now, “I LOVE MYSELF!”

Repeat it but a little louder, “I LOVE MYSELF!”

Now bring the roof down and say it as loud as you can, “I LOVE MYSELF.”

This simple exercise is powerful and can help you grow.

Fake It Until You Make It!

You may be thinking, “I don’t believe it. Who could love me.” This negative thinking is a case in point of fake it until you make it. If you tell yourself several times a day, “I LOVE MYSELF.” You will start to believe it. When you begin to think it, you will start seeing miraculous changes in your life.

I have learned this concept from a book titled, “Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.” Although I dislike the cover of the book because it is very negative with a positive message, it is straightforward and very good. He, the author, talks about how bad of a place he was in. His health was going down the tubes, and he was depressed. With his business tanking and everything falling apart, he felt hopeless. After sitting in a room for several weeks, and not getting out of bed, he finally said enough. At that point of saying enough, he had this thought about saying, “I love myself.”

The very beginning he did not believe it, but just like I’m telling you, the more you tell yourself something, you will believe it. You have been saying to yourself all of these negative things, and you have started to believe them. These negative emotions and negative feelings are NOT true. They may be real emotions and feelings, but they are NOT true. It is time for you to change your life forever and start saying this every morning and night, say it at least five times.

Recap

In summary, you are an amazing person, and you need to realize it. You have so many negative thoughts and feelings in you that you need to get rid of them. You need to start realizing your potential, and it’s not where you are at now. It is so much greater.

You’re amazing, rise up to the challenge of telling yourself, “I LOVE MYSELF,” five times in the morning and five times at night.

 

Tony Rhoton • Motivational Speaker, Coach, and Mentor

Get ready for 2018

I share some exercises to get you ready for the new year.

* Write Best Year Ever

* Gratitude

* Get rid of negative emotions

* Forgive

This is my experience of getting rid of Hate

I have been talking about the writing exercise to discover feelings inside of you, and I share an experience of a discovery I had. I sit down, on the odd days of the month, and explore a feeling to see if I have that emotion inside of me.

I was having a great day and said to myself, “I am going to explore one of the standard emotions people have, to see if I have that feeling in me. I looked at the most common emotions, Anger, Frustration, Overwhelm, sadness, stress, hate, etc. I honestly did not think I would have any hatred in me.

I picked up the pen and paper and wrote, “I am feeling hate because…” and I could not believe my brain just started to pour out all of these feelings of hate towards things. I had forgotten entirely about expressing or feeling hate towards some of the things I wrote down. I just sat in silence after writing, I was shocked.

2 Pages Later

The feeling of hatred poured out of me and on to paper and just kept flowing. After two and a half pages later, I put my pen down and discovered that I had a lot of hate inside that was being suppressed. I thought I had gotten rid of these emotions. I thought it was no big deal. I was wrong, very wrong.

I did not read back over the papers, I just looked at two pages of hate. I realized that that was a lot of hate and these kinds of feelings penned up will eventually come out, and if you don’t do it in a controlled and confident atmosphere, it could come out at a family member, co-worker, boss, etc. you never know. I do know that the negative emotions will come out.

Filling My Body Back Up

Our bodies are a vessel and will hold what we put in it. I had so much hate that was removed it was like a little bit of emptiness, so I had to fill it up. I started listening to my empower songs from YouTube that I talked about last week. Wow, what a huge difference it made to me. At this moment, I also took the time to write a page about how great I am, not in an arrogant, conceited way, but in a respectful way.

I am a blessing to this world. You are a blessing to this world. You have gifts and talents that need to be shared. I wrote some of these things down so I could internalize them and realize that hate was not part of me. Hate is not inside of me, and I am choosing to let it go.

You’re amazing, don’t discredit the simplicity of this exercise, it’s priceless. Rise to the challenge and for one month discover hidden emotions inside and see what difference it makes.

Here’s a summary of the process, remember to take care of your S.E.L.F.

* S – Search an emotion to see if it’s inside.

* E – Express in details the emotion you’re searching.

* L – Let it Go, tell yourself, I am choosing to let this emotion go and tear up the page and throw it away.

* F – Fill yourself up with positive and empowering emotions.

Mentor, Motivational Speaker, and Coach – Tony Rhoton 801.787.5765

Self-Mastery Make It a Great Day

There are so many times you may allow others to influence what kind of a day you’re going to have. Good day, Great day, Okay day, Lousy, Miserable day, it’s your choice.

I can already hear the complaints coming.

Your boss did this, your child did that, my spouse did … these are all excuses. I understand this is easier said than done but if you can get to the point where you have this kind of self-mastery, you’ll see some amazing things happen in your life.

Imagine

I want you to try to imagine getting yourself to the point where someone yells at you and you can literally just smile and go on. This kind of self-mastery is possible and takes practice, focus and a determination to want to change.

I have been working on this kind of self-mastery and it’s hard. I’m not going to lie but I get moments where I can truly demonstrate this discipline and it’s amazing. I have had some days that it was just the pits, nothing seemed to be working well and everything was a nightmare and I remember this and say, “I’m going to have a good day, starting now!” Wow, there have been some times where this has worked and I’m blown away. I can’t believe how I can shift my mind so quickly.

Recognize the Triggers

I have realized that if I can train my brain to be like this, even a few times, I can change it permanently, hence my quest for self-mastery. I have some triggers that send me through the roof and I’m working on them for this purpose.

Think about your triggers, those pressure points that when they are pushed send you through the roof, write them down. Now think of the lesser triggers and write them down. After you have written several down, think about which trigger you want to work on to gain self-mastery over. You only want to choose one right now, because it can become overwhelming and frustrating when you focus on too much.

You need to experience some success so you don’t give up. You’re amazing, rise up and accept my challenge to start gaining self-mastery today.

Tony Rhoton • Motivational Speaker, Mentor and Life Coach

The video is different from the article. Please read the full article to better understand how to do this amazing technique of getting rid of Negative Emotions.

Negative Emotions Will Hold You Back – Get Rid of Them!

I have been learning a lot and one of the gems I learned awhile ago and have created a couple of different videos on is this gem is, ‘Getting Rid of Negative Emotions.’ There are pend up emotions inside you that are holding you back and today I discovered a new technique to manage your emotions. I learned this technique from Kirk Duncan from 3KeyElements.

Identify An Emotion

First you must identify the negative emotions. There are over 4,000 emotions you can choose from so we will focus on just one to teach you the principle behind it. The emotion I’m going to choose is angry. Here’s what I want you to do:

On a piece of paper write this sentence, “I feel angry about (insert the topic) because…

You choose the emotion and insert the topic but allow your mind to go.

Give Details Surrounding Your Negative Emotions

Here’s the beauty of this. Now anything that you’re angry about, write about it and follow the story allow your mind to let it go, write it all down. Don’t worry if it goes off on what seems like a tangent to you. Allow your mind to release the angry emotion that has been connected, even if it doesn’t seem relevant, go with it.

Here’s an example of this. I’m not going to got through the full work through but you will get the point.

I feel angry (Emotion) about my spouse (Topic) because he didn’t take the trash out and now we have to wait another week before it can be picked up. Now we can’t … (Details)

This story could go off onto something else your spouse did or even what somebody else did, go with it. Allow your mind to release anything that is holding you back. You may find that this is only a sentence, possibly a paragraph or several pages, go with it.

Let Your Negative Emotions Go

After you have completed the story and written everything down, you are going to get rid of your negative emotions by:

* Tearing it up.

* Shredding it.

* Burning it.

* Crumpling it up and throwing it in the trash.

* Hooking it to a rocket.

The method of getting rid of it does not matter, just get rid of it.

Resist

Do NOT, I repeat do NOT go back and read it or let anyone else read it, get rid of it.

The intent of this exercise is to get rid of the negative emotion that’s holding you back, by reading it again, you’re essentially putting it back in you. Get rid of it. Also, do NOT let anyone else read it. You will have people wanting to read it to see what you wrote, RESIST this urge to read it or allow others to read it.

Choose to Let This All Go!

After you throw it a way, tell yourself, “I choose to let this all go.” You want to tell yourself mentally, emotionally and physically that you are letting this go. These are emotions that have been holding you back, connecting you to a negative past, instead of a hopeful, bright future.

Forgive yourself for any part you had in this. Forgive others for any part they had and tell yourself, “I choose to let this all go.”

Feeling Empty

Now you have just gotten rid of that negative emotion that was taking up a lot of space. You have been holding onto some of these stories, events and feelings for a long time. This emotion has filled you for many years and now you may be feeling empty. You may feel like something is missing and you’re correct … the emotion is.

You have become so attached to that emotion that you have...

Royalty and Romance Event

This last weekend I went to a conference in Salt Lake City, Utah called Royalty and Romance. This conference is put on by 3 Key Elements. The presenters, Kirk Duncan and Kim Duncan were phenomenal.

I personally knew a lot of the things they talked about but there were a lot of gold nuggets too. I will be posting on those nuggets in the future. Today I just wanted to do a quick recap of one of the most important ones they gave for a husband and wife.

It’s Called Swaying

The concept they introduced, which I realize my wife and I have been doing this since we were married but never thought anything about it. It is called Swaying, essentially the traditional elementary school dancing style, you move side to side.

It’s really simple and anyone can do it but the concept behind this is to be unison with your spouse. They shared several different examples of how swaying has helped in their relationship, from business, to personal, the sway works.

My wife and I have been doing this but didn’t call it anything, just holding each other and rocking. I can attest it works.

When you can be unified, even in something seemingly small like this, you can start to unite in other ways. Swaying is not something to take lightly because it does work.

Take Action

Don’t think this is frivolous and of no value, try it. Let me know what happened but give it a try for at least one month. If it doesn’t work, no harm done. However, when it works, you will be thanking me for sharing it with you. (big smile)

I hope you will take action today on this simple little concept I shared with you. Have a great day. You’re amazing, don’t forget it. Rise up to the challenge of Swaying today.

 

The Power of Ten, Getting Rid of Overwhelm

You may be wondering what the Power of Ten is and how is it so marvelous. The Power of Ten is a simple process of getting things done.

Some of the most significant struggles you may have in life is trying to stay present and on top of things with all of the chaos around you. You look at the many tasks you have/need to do and get overwhelmed and freeze, instead of progressing and accomplishing those tasks.

Introducing the Power of Ten in Your Life

The Power of Ten will help you get things done. Here’s what you need to do first.

Create Your Tasks List

Get a piece of paper and separate this piece of paper into two columns. You can do this by drawing a line down the center of the paper or folding the paper hotdog style (going back to elementary education). On top of the column on the right-hand side, write the word ‘Can’t Stop, Once Started Projects‘ and on the left-hand side ‘Gradual Progress Projects.’

Now you’re going to write down a list of all of the things that you would like to get done, be expansive. Literally, write everything you can think of down in one of these columns.

Here’s an example of, ‘Can’t Stop Once Started Project’, plumbing. Once you start fixing plumbing issues, unless you’re not using the plumbing, you need to finish it, or you will be without water. The plumbing project is a project that you can’t stop once you get started.

An example of, ‘Gradual Progress Projects’ would be yard clean up. Yard clean up is something that can gradually be completed over time, reading books, writing articles, etc.

Create your list and put them in the proper column. You can think of this as a, ‘To Do List’ that will overwhelm you if you let it, but don’t. We are in this together. Don’t forget to write down:

* Honey Dos.

* Books you want to read.

* Things that are stressing you out.

* Continued annoyances?

* Etc.

Next, Choose the task.

After you have written down your list of things you need to get done and put them in the proper column, circle three of the tasks in the ‘Gradual Project’ column. Remember these are the projects that can be completed over time.

Implementing the Power of Ten

I love learning and improving my life, and one of the areas to do this is through constant education but with seven children, two businesses, two volunteer organizations, church stuff and then home tasks, I froze. I was stuck and couldn’t progress until I started to implement the Power of Ten, which is I pick two or three tasks, and I apply 10 minutes to those tasks every day.

For example, I was starting to collect a lot of books to read, someone would recommend a book, and I would buy it to read, but instead of reading the books, I just was collecting them. I had generated a pretty significant pile of books. Knowing I had to do something, I implemented the ‘Power of Ten’ in this task, which is applying ten minutes to reading every day.

This is how my day would start, I would wake up in the morning, grab my book, and I set a timer for 11 minutes because it usually takes me a little bit of time to get my book turned to the right page, etc. but as soon as that timer rings. I finish the paragraph I’m on and stop! It is so important I don’t read another word until the next day.

I don’t even think about it unless I want to implement something that I have read.

Honor the Timer. Stop and Move On

It’s important to honor the timer, or the overwhelm will set back in. I had to train myself to do this because I would find that I was engrossed in my book and would want to keep reading, or doing whatever the task was, but Stop.

You must move on to the next task that you want to...

How to Build Strong Healthy Relationships, Communication.

Good morning, today’s video/podcast is about building healthy and strong relationships. The number one and most important aspect of any relationship is Communication. There are so many problems that can be removed if we would just communicate better.

Communicating better is not texting more, or email, it’s through calling or talking to them face to face. There is more communication that happens when we are face to face than via the written word. Non-verbal communication is critical in helping to build a healthy and strong relationship that will last through all of the challenges that come up.

Strong Relationship

Steps to having strong healthy relationships (C.A.L.L.):

* Communication – Speak clearly and make sure the person understands and restates what you’ve said or what they have understood. Communicate at their level. For example, if you’re communicating with a child, use words that they understand. If it’s a client, don’t use industry language, that’s why they are coming to you, they don’t understand the industry. We communicate with each other, not to them. Effective communication is receiving and giving.

* Apologize – Accept your role in the relationship and realize that you may be wrong and even if you’re right, say sorry if the other person feels they have been wronged.

* Listen – You must be present when you’re listening to what is being said instead of thinking about what you want to say. You must stay engaged in the conversation, not letting your mind roam.

* Love – Care for yourself and the person that your listening too, even your employers.

Communication Critical

After years and years of watching people, the one thing I’ve discovered is how weak our communication has become. Communication is critical for having healthy relationships in marriage, at work, with family and friends. Our ability to communicate effectively can prevent hurt feelings, frustration, anger, and resentment.

The skill for effective communication is something that is being reduced by texting. Ther are many people that think they are communicating when they text, in fact, there are many problems because of someone taking a text wrong.

In conclusion, here’s a couple of things you can do to improve your communication.

* Take notes while talking to someone so that you don’t keep thinking about a comment.

* Let them know you are taking notes.

* Don’t attack.

* Be humble and realize your part in what’s going on.

* Listen.

* Love, love, and love more.

You’re amazing don’t forget it. Rise Up and start communicating more effectively.

Motivational Speaker, Self Improvement Coach 801.787.5765

Forgiveness is the Greatest Gift You Can Give

During this time of the year, so many people are focused on what they can buy someone at the store. The best gift you could give someone this year is forgiveness. Don’t worry about who’s right, who’s wrong, focus on just being the best you that you can be.

For you to be the best, you can’t carry baggage like grudges, anger, resentment, which will only lead to physical and emotional pain. It’s true. Forgiveness is the most significant gift you can give.

There are too many people suffering from pain, which can be alleviated if they are willing to forgive those in the past and look forward to a beautiful future. Emotional distress is manifested in physical pain; I share a story about a young lady that gets rid of her pain because she finally let her past go.

It’s important to realize that forgiveness is healing to you and those around you. Forgiveness provides healing mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Forgiveness brings joy and happiness.

If you’ve wronged someone or not, forgiveness will help you be the best you and the world needs … YOU to be your best!

You have so many talents and gifts to share with the world. You have abilities that you have not discovered that can help you improve your life and find great joy and happiness in the future.

Most Significant Gift

Like I mentioned above, in today’s video, I share some moving stories of healing from forgiving others from the wrongs that they may have done. Discover how one young lady suffered extreme abuse but has come out happy and caring for others, including her abuser.

Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give this year.

In summation, if you want to find happiness and joy you must forgive others. You must move forward and stop dwelling on the past. Forgiveness is healing.

You’re amazing, Rise Up! Don’t give up.

Tony Rhoton – Motivational Speaker and Personal Development Coach