I recently read an interesting article about teenagers in central florida who have become interested in bird-watching. Now if you’re like me, you have never assumed that bird-watching would become a hobby growing in popularity among teenagers. But it appears that for this group of kids, taking walks outside during the Covid epidemic had them paying more attention to the world of nature, with many of them accumulating notes and photos on the birds they were seeing. This sounds to me like a positive outcome from Covid, as kids were spending less time inside with their eyes focused on screens, and more time outside looking at the created order. Perhaps all of us need to provide opportunities for our kids to get outside to see and understand what Psalm nineteen one tells us: “that the heavens declare the glory of God and the skies proclaim the works of his hands.” God’s glory is all around us, screaming the reality of His presence, mercy, and love. Let’s encourage our kids to see it!

“What has Jane Fonda done to her face?” Someone asked that question on social media after the eighty-seven year old actress was featured prominently in photos and videos from the screen actors guild award show. Fonda did not look like your average almost ninety year old woman. She was one of many high profile celebrities who have had cosmetic surgery of a variety of types in an effort to thwart the effects of time on the human body in order to maintain an appearance of youthfulness. Have you noticed the growing number of people who appear, as they say, to look like they’ve had work done? This trend will only continue as we seek to find our identity not in who we are in terms of our inward character, but in outward appearance. Reports show that more and more teens are opting for non-surgical and surgical cosmetic procedures. Friends, if we are to be new creations, as Paul says in second Corinthians, it is only through being born again through faith in Jesus Christ.

In today’s world, generally speaking, the exorbitant amount of time and money spent on wedding preparations are not funneled into getting a couple ready for everything that comes after the ceremony and reception, but rather on things that are what might be called “showy”, like rings, dresses, flowers, food, photos, bands, etc. The trend seems to be to spend everything on the day, rather than the lifetime that follows.

This cultural trend is one that needs to be reersed. In a social media saturated world where we see ourselves as performers and function as such, even marriages have paid a steep price. And, if this is what our kids grow up believing a marriage really is, then we’ve done them a huge dis-service as we’ve nurtured them into either a rude awakening for which they are not prepared, or even marital failure. Parents, youth workers, and pastors, we need to do better. Teach your children about God’s design for marriage, conflict-resolution, and life-time commitment.

What happens when a group of teenagers go without their smartphones for four weeks? Journalist Decca Aitkenhead found out when she devised an experiment to ban her two sons and eight of their friends from using their phones for four weeks. Initially, as you might imagine, there were protests. “You’ve got to joking” said fourteen year old Jake. But after the four weeks of allowing only one hour a day on a smartphone and the other twenty-three hours on a call and text only Light Phone, you need to hear what the kids had to say. One of the teens said, “Thank you so much for including me in this. It was way better than I expected it. I’m really glad I did it.” Another 14-year -old, admitting that he struggled at first, said, “But then, you begin to notice things. You start to see what’s going on on your smartphone doesn’t matter. You’ll never say on your deathbed, I wish I’d spent more time on my phone.” Parents, why not arrange a smartphone sabbath for your kids?

As a father and now grandfather, I often think about the wise words of instruction found in Proverbs twenty-two, six. “Train up a child in the way he should go; and even when he is old he will no depart from it.” Training our children is not a once and done task. Rather, it is an ongoing project that in many ways lasts a lifetime. Neither is the training we are called to only verbal in nature. While the verbal instruction is necessary, equally necessary is the example we pass on to our kids. Let me share with you some great wisdom from the Puritans on the power of example. John Boys writes, “If both horse and mare trot, the colt will not amble.” Consider these words from Thomas Brooks: “Example is the most powerful rhetoric.” If we are to raise and train our children to follow the Lord, we must be eagerly following Him with every ounce of our lives. Remember, Jesus has called us to deny ourselves and follow Him. A heritage of faith is the most valuable inheritance we can pass on to our kids.

A couple of years I heard some very challenging words from the parents of a ten-year-old girl. They were part of a roomful of parents attending a seminar where I was speaking about kids, technology, and social media. At the end of the evening I asked if anyone had any questions. The young father raised his hand and said this. “A year ago we got our ten-year-old daughter a smartphone thinking that we were being good parents by protecting her from danger. But we have realized that we weren’t protecting her from danger, but actually putting a greater danger in her hands.” The parents were now thinking about how to pull back and remove the device that had very quickly become a time-consuming distraction and addiction. I’m sharing this father’s words with you for you to think about as you consider if and when you will put a smartphone in the hands of your child. Proverbs 27:12 tells us, “The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it.”

While on a recent speaking trip down south, I got up early on a Saturday morning and walked to the only restaurant open for breakfast at that time in the morning. I was greeted by the teenage clerk with a loud and hearty “Welcome!”, something you don’t hear much at five am from anyone anywhere. A few pleasantries were exchanged with him and I ordered my food. Thinking I was going to pay with a card, he pointed down to the terminal where I was being asked about adding a tip. “Oh, I’m paying with cash,” I said. I handed him a ten dollar bill and said, “Keep the rest for you and your crew.” He was overjoyed. Oops. I then realized that I hadn’t given him a ten, but a twenty! There was no back-pedaling on my part. He called the entire crew out and they thanked me effusively for the two hundred percent tip! Their joy gave me joy, and I was reminded that all work matters to God. There is no such thing as menial work, and we must value everyone, regardless of their job or status. 

Have you heard about the social media fueled appearance trend known as  “looksmaxxing”? That’s spelled l-o-o-k-s-m-a-x-x-i-n-g. The term originated in online communities centered around what’s known as the involuntary celibate, or “incil” for short, cohort of young males. Incels would like to be in romantic and sexual relationships, but they blame women for their celibate status, primarily caused by the fact that women don’t find them attractive. So they engage in looksmaxxing, which is the process of maximizing their own physical attractiveness. Softmaxxing efforts include hair care, skin care, diet, and exercise. Hardmaxxing involves more radical interventions like plastic surgery. Parents, appearance pressure is real. Help your kids understand that nobody can meet these narrow and unrealistic standards, and that they must rest their identity in who they are as adopted sons and daughters of God. God is a God who looks on the heart, not on the outward appearance.

As parents called by God to nurture our children through childhood and into a spiritually healthy adulthood, we have the responsibility to be keenly aware of and sensitive to electronic addiction in all of its forms. We must understand its threat, presence and impact. Consequently, we must be diligent in preparing both ourselves and our children to understand, process and live with electronic media in ways that bring honor and glory to God. UK communications regulation firm Ofcom says that we might not be doing a very good job in preventing electronic addiction. Their data shows that among five to seven year olds, sixty five percent are making voice or video calls, fifty percent are watching livestream apps and sites, forty one percent are gaming online, and thirty eight percent are using social media apps or sites. Parents, our habits are formative. Good habits form us, and bad habits deform us. Lead your kids into God’s Word and World, rather than into electronic addiction.

All truth is God's truth, and sometimes that truth comes across in places where we don't expect it. In a recent cover story in Elle magazine, actress Demi Moore talked about the struggle she's had with her body image. This is a struggle that's shared by all of our girls who are growing up in a social media saturated world where standards of beauty are put before them 24/7 through the images they see on their screens. Seeing all these images, most girls feel like they don't measure up and never will. Moore told Elle magazine, “I changed my body multiple times through different roles and I think I chose those roles whether it was conscious or not for the very opportunity to find some peace and self love. And when I did find that, it was only by really surrendering and letting go of what the outside was going to look like.” Parents, we need to instill in our daughters the truth of God's word, That their value and worth comes through the fact that they are divine image bearers who are to find their identity in him.