While on a recent speaking trip down south, I got up early on a Saturday morning and walked to the only restaurant open for breakfast at that time in the morning. I was greeted by the teenage clerk with a loud and hearty “Welcome!”, something you don’t hear much at five am from anyone anywhere. A few pleasantries were exchanged with him and I ordered my food. Thinking I was going to pay with a card, he pointed down to the terminal where I was being asked about adding a tip. “Oh, I’m paying with cash,” I said. I handed him a ten dollar bill and said, “Keep the rest for you and your crew.” He was overjoyed. Oops. I then realized that I hadn’t given him a ten, but a twenty! There was no back-pedaling on my part. He called the entire crew out and they thanked me effusively for the two hundred percent tip! Their joy gave me joy, and I was reminded that all work matters to God. There is no such thing as menial work, and we must value everyone, regardless of their job or status. 

Have you heard about the social media fueled appearance trend known as  “looksmaxxing”? That’s spelled l-o-o-k-s-m-a-x-x-i-n-g. The term originated in online communities centered around what’s known as the involuntary celibate, or “incil” for short, cohort of young males. Incels would like to be in romantic and sexual relationships, but they blame women for their celibate status, primarily caused by the fact that women don’t find them attractive. So they engage in looksmaxxing, which is the process of maximizing their own physical attractiveness. Softmaxxing efforts include hair care, skin care, diet, and exercise. Hardmaxxing involves more radical interventions like plastic surgery. Parents, appearance pressure is real. Help your kids understand that nobody can meet these narrow and unrealistic standards, and that they must rest their identity in who they are as adopted sons and daughters of God. God is a God who looks on the heart, not on the outward appearance.

As parents called by God to nurture our children through childhood and into a spiritually healthy adulthood, we have the responsibility to be keenly aware of and sensitive to electronic addiction in all of its forms. We must understand its threat, presence and impact. Consequently, we must be diligent in preparing both ourselves and our children to understand, process and live with electronic media in ways that bring honor and glory to God. UK communications regulation firm Ofcom says that we might not be doing a very good job in preventing electronic addiction. Their data shows that among five to seven year olds, sixty five percent are making voice or video calls, fifty percent are watching livestream apps and sites, forty one percent are gaming online, and thirty eight percent are using social media apps or sites. Parents, our habits are formative. Good habits form us, and bad habits deform us. Lead your kids into God’s Word and World, rather than into electronic addiction.

All truth is God's truth, and sometimes that truth comes across in places where we don't expect it. In a recent cover story in Elle magazine, actress Demi Moore talked about the struggle she's had with her body image. This is a struggle that's shared by all of our girls who are growing up in a social media saturated world where standards of beauty are put before them 24/7 through the images they see on their screens. Seeing all these images, most girls feel like they don't measure up and never will. Moore told Elle magazine, “I changed my body multiple times through different roles and I think I chose those roles whether it was conscious or not for the very opportunity to find some peace and self love. And when I did find that, it was only by really surrendering and letting go of what the outside was going to look like.” Parents, we need to instill in our daughters the truth of God's word, That their value and worth comes through the fact that they are divine image bearers who are to find their identity in him.

I’ve had numerous conversations over the years with parents who have received troubling phone calls where they are given bad news about a child. Some parents have told me that after a few of these calls, they become like Pavlov’s dog, being triggered into anxiety and fear by the ring of the phone, even though there’s no reason to believe that the caller is calling with more bad news. Mental health professionals are now reporting on a similar trend among young people that’s been labeled “telephobia”, which is a fear of phone calls sparked by social anxiety. Counselor Stephanie Wiijkstrom explains it this way: “In our digital age, texting and online messaging serve as our primary modes of communication, and we often feel less vulnerable and more comfortable than in a live conversation or phone call.” Parents, this is a consequence of our digital age, and we need to reverse this by involving our kids in verbal interactions and conversations with others from the time their born.

There’s a concerning new trend among the emerging generations that offers up evidence of their deep search for meaning and purpose in life. It’s known as “shifting”, and it encompasses efforts by young people to escape their earthly presence and reality by transporting their consciousness into alternate realities. Reports from those who track with the trend online tell us that some want to escape into the world of Hogwarts or the Marvel Universe. Practitioners will oftentimes lie on the ground counting backwards while they visualize a desired reality, hoping to transport themselves into that world as an escape from the difficulties of this world. We need to be aware of this trend which not only fosters a desire to escape from the embodied reality we’ve been given by God, but is a supernatural foothold for the enemy to exploit. What shifters are ultimately searching for is a relationship with God, which should motivate us all the more to point them to Jesus.

The latest report from the Pew Research Center not only helps us understand where our teens ages thirteen to seventeen are spending time online, but should light a fire under us to exercise diligence and regularity about helping our teens practice what we call digital discipleship. It’s not surprising that YouTube is hands down the most used online platforms for kids, with nine out of ten saying they use the site. Seventy three percent of our thirteen to seventeen year olds say they visit YouTube daily. Six in ten say they visit the TikTok video site daily. With our kids consuming so much video content on a daily basis, we need to teach them to use wisdom and discernment regarding what they see, along with limiting the amount of time they spend scrolling through videos. Ask them about what they are seeing. Ask them to share what they see with you. And train them to embrace content that furthers their faith, while avoiding that which is not good, true, and honorable.

Late last month, an article appeared on the USA Today website under the headline, “These teenage boys were blackmailed online- and it cost them their lives.” Above the headline was a collage of photos of smiling, happy teens, each of whom had died by suicide after getting caught up in an online trap called financial sextortion. It’s a cybercrime that occurs when an online predator cultivates a friendly relationship with an unknowing young person who grows to trust the interactions, thinking that this person is a friend. Eventually the predator engages in sexually explicit conversation with the victim or convinces the victim to send a nude photograph. Immediately, the victim is threatened with exposure or jail time unless they send a large amount of money, sending message upon message stating such, which leads the victim to panic, which leads many to see no way out but suicide. Parents, the message here is clear: warn your kids to never engage online with someone they don’t know.

Today, I want to take a minute to offer some encouragement to parents who are enduring difficult times with their kids. If you’re currently struggling as a parent, you are not alone. All of us are broken people raising broken kids. But there’s another way in which you are not alone. The Psalmist reminds us in Psalm fifty-five of God’s never-ending presence and faithfulness, even when it seems like he’s not there. We read, “I call to God and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning, and noon I cry out in distress and he hears my voice. He ransoms me unharmed from the battle waged against me, even though many oppose me. Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.” Parents, when God seems silent, His work in your life is moving forward in powerful ways. Don’t decide to be fooled by what seems like silence. God is always at work for His glory and our good. So even though the burden is heavy today, be encouraged.

“We did it, and we turned out ok.” Perhaps you’ve heard that line of reasoning from other parents regarding today’s teens and marijuana use. In fact, a government survey indicates that since 2015, the number of parents who believe there is a risk of harm from using marijuana has dropped, from just over thirty percent of parents, to just over twenty percent today. But researchers and medical professionals will tell you that we should actually be more concerned about the risks from marijuana use, as the impact of smoking today’s marijuana is actually greater on the developing and vulnerable brains of our kids. Experts report that in the 1960’s, the THC content of marijuana was two to three percent. Today, it is twenty percent or more, making it ten times more potent. Doctors are seeing increased psychotic events attributed to this increased potency. Parents, monitor your kids, and don’t approve of the use of marijuana or any other substances kids are choosing to abuse.