Zen Commuter

Sometimes you need to see both sides of the coin for a lesson to sink in, and this lesson is one that needs to sink it.  It is imperative to surround yourself with positive people.  To do that you need to know who the negative people are.  Accordingly this episode will do just that, help you spot the downers.

• 15 ways to spot a negative person
• Why your brain is the same as it was millions of years ago
• Why negative people give advice

Thanks again for listening to the show! If it has helped you in any way, please share it using the social media buttons you see on the page.

Also, reviews for the podcast on iTunes are extremely helpful, they help it reach a wider audience.  The more positive reviews the higher in the rankings it goes.  Of course that means more peace in the world.  So please let me know what you think.  I read ever one of them.
Did you enjoy the podcast?

Lack of confidence, gloom and doom, distrust, and anxiety are a toxic cocktail mix. You probably wonder how one person can survive with all that inside them! Yet, these negative people exist all around us and are impossible to avoid.

This is not to say that you will never have moments of despair, anxiety and discouragement. But as a positive person, you never let these thoughts take over your life. You live the four-to-one ratio: You generate four positive thoughts for every negative one, to keep situations from getting out of hand.

Below, you’ll find 15 signs of negative people, and see what makes them tick. You’ll discover why many people are unaware of their negativity and how it is ruining their lives – and everyone else’s. These warning signs will also teach you to be on the alert so that you can avoid falling into the black hole of negativity.

The 15 signs of negative people:

Negative people survive on worry – a very unhealthy diet. This mindset is geared towards the need to feel protected and aware to an extreme degree. Practising mindfulness and staying in the present are great ways to squash worry.

 “Whatever is going to happen will happen, whether we worry or not.” – Anna Monnar

2. They try to tell you what to do

When people start to tell you what you should do with your life, what house to buy or whether you should change your job, you can be sure they are in the negative squad. They do not realize it but this is a sure sign that they have not sorted out their own life issues. It is much easier to tell everyone else how to live their lives!

There is a neurological explanation as to why some people end up being so negative. It has to do with the part of the brain called the amygdala, which functions as an alarm and is constantly on the look out for danger, fear and bad news. Scientists believe this to be the brain’s default position. In evolutionary terms, this is understandable; it is all part of the fear-flight mechanism in which the brain uses most of its neurons to keep up with all the bad news that is stored in the memory.

Positive people develop an ability to evaluate and face up to problems which can counteract this mechanism.

If you meet a negative person at a party, you may find the conversation rather tedious. Fearful of revealing too much information about themselves, they live in fear that doing so would be used against them in some way. They rarely think that what they share could be used in a positive light.

If you find yourself becoming defensive and closed during conversation, think about possible reasons why.

My mother was the world’s greatest pessimist. Spotting menacing clouds on the way to the beach, she would invariably say that the best of the day had gone. (I cannot remember any downpours when we had to return home.)

Negative people rarely envisage a happy outcome or great result. They always imagine that everything will go wrong.

Negative people love coming into your cubicle and saying things like, “Have you heard the terrible news about….”, after which they fill you in on all the gory details. The tragedy is that overexposure to negative news affects a person more deeply than was previously thought. Research has shown that media exposure to violence, death and tragedy contributes to depression and anxiety, as well as to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It colors a negative person’s outlook on life.

That is why you should limit the amount of news you watch on television and on your PC. Difficult? Perhaps. But essential if you are to remain positive.

Those who are negative are likely to be over sensitive to criticism, even taking compliments the wrong way. They interpret innocent remarks as being condescending or rude. For example, a negative person may find jokes about short people offensive because they are not very tall themselves.

Negative people tend to whine a lot, convinced that the whole world is against them. They are usually the victim of lousy weather, a difficult boss, bad luck, and their upbringing. They rarely step back to look at other factors – such as a lack of energy, creativity or simply hard work.

Moving outside the familiar world is anathema to those who are negative. They cannot face the possibility of more fear, discomfort, challenges or failure. They are thus never able to try out new experiences and are doomed to dwell in their dull and dreary comfort zone.

A negative person might say something positive or even compliment you on your great cooking. They might be happy to find themselves on the beach or in a restaurant. The only problem: They finish their remarks with the ‘but’ word, turning this positive into a negative. You get remarks like “It looks like a great restaurant but I wonder why you didn’t book a table outside” or “It’s a lovely beach but there are always too many people around.”

Lack of success could be due to many factors, but negativity is a main cause. Negative people usually think they are not smart enough, athletic enough, or good enough. But the real threat to their success is that their emotional intelligence is crippled by their often critical and confrontational manner. Additionally, they will regale you with stories of how difficult people were, how they would never collaborate and how  impossible it was to get anywhere with them.

If they had been just a bit more positive, you think, they might have got somewhere!

Have you noticed that those who are negative can never talk about future plans or projects in a positive way? Actually, they rarely talk about plans at all because they are too wrapped up in their present misery. As a positive person, you have dreams. You have projects and visions of what your future will be like. You are on an open highway while they are stuck in a dark tunnel.

In addition to being demanding, negative people suck out all your energy, just like a vampire. They are simply incapable of producing any positive energy and will absorb your attention, time, and energy as they proceed to drag you down the negativity spiral.

A negative person will hardly recognize joy, passion, contentment and excitement. These are not emotions or sensations that they regularly experience.

Of course, this is hardly surprising when considering these persons are fixated on their unsatisfying jobs, relationships and social status.

You are excited to share great news about your dream job, engagement or a new house. But when you want to tell a negative person, you hesitate. Why? You know that they will always find a way to make it sound negative. They will caution you to be careful, warn you of the dangers and tell you to think carefully before accepting.

The best way to deal with all this negativity is to thank your lucky stars that you are positive and that you have overcome most of the negativity in your life. The more negative a person is, the happier you can be that you are not like them – and you will be extra careful about getting caught in their web.

I have talked about the need to hang around positive people for years now, and believe it or not I can't believe that I have never told you how I determine if someone is positive or not from watching them from afar.  I know, that may sound creepy, but you gotta figure these things our firsthand

Today I discuss 8 ways you can determine if a person is positive or not.  Tomorrow I will discuss the alternative, negative people.  Don't worry.  I won't leave you with that info without finding a way to turn it around.

• How to determine if someone is self absorbed
• The Importance of eye contact
• The benefits of smiling
• How body language conveys positivity
• How positive people connect
• The actions of positive people
• How politeness plays in to positivity

Thanks again for listening to the show! If it has helped you in any way, please share it using the social media buttons you see on the page.

Also, reviews for the podcast on iTunes are extremely helpful, they help it reach a wider audience.  The more positive reviews the higher in the rankings it goes.  Of course that means more peace in the world.  So please let me know what you think.  I read ever one of them.
Did you enjoy the podcast?

Today I read from one of my all Time favorite books, The 7 Spiritual Laws of success by Deepak Chopra.

If there is one thing that most successful people know, it's that you need to step outside your comfort zone as often as you can in order to grow.  You need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.  However, the majority of people run from discomfort.  They would much rather stay put, stagnant instead of experiencing anything that would help them experience life more fully.

Today I discuss 6 things that you can do to be uncomfortable.  Six things that will move you forward once you embrace them.

• Why parking the farthest from the store is the best
• How turning off your TV will lead to personal growth
• Why reading instead of listening to audio books is more beneficial
• The benefits of a cold shower
• Why waking up early is the #1 bit of advice from successful people

Thanks again for listening to the show! If it has helped you in any way, please share it using the social media buttons you see on the page.

Also, reviews for the podcast on iTunes are extremely helpful, they help it reach a wider audience.  The more positive reviews the higher in the rankings it goes.  Of course that means more peace in the world.  So please let me know what you think.  I read ever one of them.
Did you enjoy the podcast?

At this time of year everyone is geared up to succeed at their goals.  However, as stoked as some people may be they still might be unsuccessful.  Today i want to talk about five reasons you may not be successful and how to make sure you are.

Many people think about goals and resolutions at this time of year, and most of them have to do with their physical bodies.  Today though I want to talk about ways to create smart goals that are focused on your personality.

Growing up I watched shows like the Brady Bunch, Growing Pains and even Father Knows Best way back in the day.  All these shows had Dad's that had lessons for their kids.  But even those dads couldn't hold a candle to my dad.  Today I share with you why that is and the lessons you can learn from listening.  Enjoy.

Today I reach back into the archives to share a show with you that discusses lessons that are timeless.  Enjoy.

At this time of year everyone seems to breeze through December getting all geared up for the new year.  They are so focused on the start that they forget about the need to end the previously year with any reflection.  

Of course, you can't move forward with any success unless you are able to look at the successes of the year you are currently in.  

Today I talk about the about the process of reviewing this year so that you can best set yourself up for success in the new one.

• The benefits of reviewing the current year
• How to increase your self confidence for 2017
• The steps for reviewing the successes and failures of this year

Thanks again for listening to the show! If it has helped you in any way, please share it using the social media buttons you see on the page.

Also, reviews for the podcast on iTunes are extremely helpful, they help it reach a wider audience.  The more positive reviews the higher in the rankings it goes.  Of course that means more peace in the world.  So please let me know what you think.  I read ever one of them.
Did you enjoy the podcast?