Zero Doinks: World's Weirdest Chicago Bears Podcast

Woof, that was a forgettable offensive performance against the Colts, eh? The Bears finish the first quarter of the year 3-1 and try to rebound quickly with a short week as Tom Brady and the 3-1 Bucs visit Soldier Field on Thursday night. The boys of Zero Doinks go over what went wrong versus Indy and explore how they can bounce back against Tampa. Gambling and fantasy football angles are explored and Rick Feelsmen tries to bounce back from a rough 0-3 weekend at the window during Hamms N Spreads. Dan and Bill Doinks hop over the pond to visit Mike in England for this week's Fans N Eggs. The White Sox and the Cubs 2020 seasons experience a post mortem during Hamms N Ted. Plus much more!

0:00 - 4:20 - A smorgasbord of sound plus what's on tap in this episode of Zero Doinks (sound courtesy of the Chicago Bears, CBS, Pro Football Focus, Bears Postgame Live with David Kaplan; music by Faith No More 'Everything's Ruined')

4:21 - 41:49 - Bears-Colts review. Does Nagy stink at playcalling? What's up with special teams? Is C Patt overrated? Where is Cole Kmet? Can't blame the defense, right? Philip Rivers is annoying. Who wins the first ever Cornish Hen Player of the Game?

41:50 - 42:38 - How can you become the next Zero Doinks?

42:39 - 62:39 - Bears-Bucs preview. Dan Doinks walks us through Tampa's red hot coaching staff and front office as Tom Brady's Bucs come to town on a short week (audio courtesy of CBS, Bears Postgame Live and the Bucs song from the interwebs)

62:40 - 79:56 - Hamms N Bread sports gambling segment. What to make of the Bears +5.5 against Tampa. Rick Feelsmen visits for the world's first segment-within-a-segment, Hamms N Spreads (68:46 - 73:06), and tries to get back on track after an 0-3 week.

79:57 - 93:58 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football chatter). Who would the boys recommend for their clicks to pick this week from the Bears incredible offense? This segment always gets super weird so hang on tight.

93:59 - 123:56 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview segment). Zero Doinks visits Billinge, England, this week to chat with Mike. Are the Bears red hot across the pond? Do they sell Hamm's in England? What genre will Mike visit next as an esteemed author?

123:57 - 139:49 - Hamms N Ted (Chicago baseball talk). Both the White Sox and Cubs lost in the Wild Card round of the 2020 baseball playoffs. The boys do a post mortem and look toward what changes could be in play in 2021.

139:50 - 140:19 - Where you can find us on the dark web

140:20 - END - Bill has a big weekend ahead of him and a warm message for a friend of the program. (outro instrumental music courtesy of Coach Cuse; outro finishing music courtesy of Bill Doinks and daughter of Bill Doinks)

So much to talk about this week as the Bears start 3-0 after an improbable comeback in Atlanta. Nick Foles is the story, though, as Mitch Trubisky is benched. The boys talk all about the win itself and what Coach Nagy's QB decision means for the rest of the season. Kenny from ATL visits to discuss how it was hosting a bunch of Falcons fans during the Bears win as Fans N Eggs visits both Georgia, and later in the show, Payton in South Dakota. What's the story with the 2-1 Indianapolis Colts this year? Dan Doinks explores their roster and coaching staff as only he can. Bill Doinks had a wild ride on DraftKings that he must relay and Rick Feelsmen tries to bounce back from a 1-2 week during the segment within a segment, Hamms N Spreads. Fantasy football angles are explored during Bears Fantasy Corner. Plus - it's playoff baseball time as both the Cubs and White Sox made it to the postseason. Plus tons more in this loaded episode of Zero Doinks.

0:00 - 2:22 - Highlights from Bears-Falcons (courtesy of Fox, chicagobears.com and TK N CASH)

2:23 - 3:43 - What's on tap this episode?

3:44 - 43:49 - Recap of Bears-Falcons. BDN in for Mitch. One of the greatest comebacks in NFL history. Mack and Hicks are back. Has the ceiling changed for this team?

43:50 - 73:26 - Fans N Eggs fan interview with Kenny in ATL. Our guy Kenny walks us through what it was like hosting a party for Falcons fans during last Sunday's game plus we learn about Kenny's life experiences and his love for the Illini.

73:27 - 74:15 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

74:16 - 92:32 - Bears-Colts preview. Dan walks us through the Colts-Bears history and makes fun of their coaching staff, basically. (Audio entering the segment courtesy of CBS)

92:33 - 115:21 - Hamms N Bread sports gambling segment. Which way are the boys leaning for Bears-Colts? Bill had a wild ride on DraftKings that he needs to talk about. Dan has more teasers to wet your whistle. Rick Feelsmen pops in for Hamms N Spreads (106:09 - 110:28) as he tries to bounce back from a 1-2 week. Bill's TV was damaged by his son.

115:21: 115:51 - Where you can find us on social media.

115:52 - 125:15 - Bears Fantasy Corner. What two hot Bears offensive players should you scoop up off the waiver wire this week? Things get off the rails talking about the Saints.

125:16 - 143:59 - Hamms N Ted baseball talk. Both Chicago baseball teams are in the playoffs. How are the boys handicapping the Cubs and White Sox chances in round one?

144:00 - 158:18 - Fans N Eggs fan interview segment. The boys hit the road again, visiting Payton in South Dakota.

158:18 - 158:48  - Headcount gets out the vote. Are you registered? 

158:49 - END - Outro. Gale Sayers passed away. Is Bill a big debate guy? Bubble leagues NHL and NBA are wrapping up well. (Music entering and exiting the segment are courtesy of Coach Cuse; BDN quotes are courtesy of the interwebs)

The Bears are 2-0 after hanging on at home against the Giants. The boys will give their thoughts on the game, a heated debate over Mitch's performance and expectations, as well as take a look at next week's visit to Atlanta. Lots of sports gambling to chat about during Hamms N Bread and Hamms N Spreads as Rick Feelsmen's hot hand continues. Who do the boys like this week for Bears fantasy football plays? The Cubs and Sox are gearing up for next week's baseball playoff start and the Big Ten is coming back so Gophers and Illini fans rejoice! Plus much more.

0:00 - 01:39 - Highlights from Week 2 courtesy of CBS (other audio was c/o Big Blue Nation and Undefeated music by KB)

01:40 - 02:53 - What's on tap for this week's Zero Doinks?

02:54 - 47:57 - Review of Week 2's win over the New York Giants. David Montgomery is a beast. Pro Football Focus loved the Bears offensive line and, against all odds, Mitch Trubisky. Dan and Bill debate the merits of Mitch's play through two weeks. Three key plays swayed the game. How about the defense and how do you pronounce rookie Jaylon Johnson's name? We laugh at the Vikings and Kirk Cousins because it's fun.

47:58 - 48:47 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks

48:48 - 67:04 - Preview of Bears-Falcons Week 3. Dan Doinks walks us through the roster and front office of Atlanta. Are you a Home Depot guy? Segment intro music courtesy of Coach Cuse (Party Soft).

67:05 - 90:34 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling talk). Is one of the Doinks going against the Bears this week? William Hill's virtual sports book just opened in Illinois and yeesh, too many hoops to jump through. Exclusive Zero Doinks gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot NFL picks during Hamm's N Spreads (79:22 - 84:38) and he has some choice words for a a number of people. Dan Doinks has a couple of teasers to throw at the audience and we love Tallysight.

90:35 - 104:21 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football talk). Who is leading through two weeks and who will the boys angle for during Week 3? Will Bill pick Mitch for three straight games? This segment always goes off the rails and this week is no different.

104:22 - 104:59 - Learn more about your local candidates during this voting season via Ballot Ready.

105:00 - 112:00 - Hamm's N Ted (baseball talk). Dan the Cubs fan is nervous. Bill the White Sox fan is also nervous. Playoffs start next week!

112:01 - 123:04 - The Big Ten Minute (B1G talk). Football will be back October 24th for the Big Ten Conference! How are the Gophers and Illini looking? Also Bill has a NCAA basketball update as his Top 10 Illini will be starting the year during Thanksgiving week.

123:05 - 123:35 - Where to follow Zero Doinks on the interwebs

123:36 - END - Outro. The Bulls hired Billy Donovan out of nowhere. Robert Kraft gets off both with and without his pants. Dan Doinks remembers a peculiar trip to Atlanta. Listen to Coach Cuse's full version of Party Soft after the outro music.

A stunning comeback led by three fourth quarter TD passes from Mitch Trubisky gets the Bears their first Week 1 win since 2013. The boys discuss the highs and lows from Coach Nagy's fifth straight win over the Detroit Lions since he was hired and Zero Doinks jump right into Week 2's home opener against the 0-1 New York Giants. Hamm's N Bread highlights which way the boys lean gambling-wise with the Bears-Giants game and resident gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen chimes in for his top three tips during Hamms N Spreads. New Jersey is the destination for the incredible story of Ed in South Jersey (@Stage4Thriver) for a Fans N Eggs interview and Bears Fantasy Corner returns with more fantastic fantasy football advice. With less than two weeks left in baseball season and two playoff-bound Chicago teams, the boys briefly discuss the diamond during Hamms N Ted. Plus much more! Thank you to Fox TV, ESPN, Lions radio and Barstool Sports for some assorted bumper audio clips. 

0:00 - 2:28 - Highlights from the Bears win over Detroit courtesy of Fox 

2:29 - 3:39 - What's on tap this week on Zero Doinks? 

3:40 - 35:00 - Review of Bears-Lions. 4th quarter Mitch shocked and awed. Defense was blah but Jaylon Johnson looked awesome. Issues brewing with Allen Robinson's contract situation? Thank you for allowing Zero Doinks to last 40 episodes, many more to come 

35:01 - 36:07 - Dick Stockton's boners from Sunday's game courtesy of Fox

36:08 - 49:53 - Preview of Week 2's home opener against the New York Giants. Dan walks us through the new-look Giants coaching staff and we have a lot of laughs at some of the weird names that pop up, such as Brett Bielema 

49:54 - 50:42 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks 

50:43 - 72:00 - Hamm's N Bread sports gambling segment. Bragging on Rick Feelsmen's behalf about his top status on Tallysight after Week 1's NFL slate. PointsBet virtual sportsbook comes to Illinois and it seems pretty bad thus far. Resident gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen stops in for his three winners of the week during Hamm's N Spreads (60:14 - 65:49) and Dan Doinks offers his teasers of the week 

72:01 - 89:51 - Bears Fantasy Corner fantasy football talk. The boys give their two can't-miss picks for who you should start this week out of the Bears offensive lineup. Things go off the rails a couple of times, this got super weird but worth a listen as Bill has a confession he needs to get off his chest

 89:52 - 119:01 - Fans N Eggs fan interview segment. This week's Bears fan guest comes to us from South New Jersey and Ed (@Stage4Thriver) has an unbelievable and inspirational story you are not going to want to miss. What an absolute bad ass 

119:02 - 119:32 - Where to find us on the interwebs 

119:33 - 127:10 - Hamm's N Ted baseball talk. White Sox are still tops in the AL. Cubs had a no hitter this weekend and are still leading the NL Central. What's not to love? 

127:11 - END - Outro which includes a tease about the potential B1G football season ramping up again. A tiny bit of basketball talk and more kudos for Ed from New Jersey and thank yous to hand out to many. Stick around for some Lions pain after the outro music courtesy of Lions Radio and Barstool

The 2020 season has arrived and Mitch Trubisky has beaten Nick Foles out for the starting job heading into Week 1 at Detroit. How does the matchup with the Lions shape up? Any surprise starters for Chicago? Big gambling partnership announcement during Hamm's 'N Bread and Rick Feelsmen returns for his unique perspective during Hamm's 'N Spreads. Bears Fantasy Corner makes a triumphant return. The boys of Zero Doinks visit Abdallah in Detroit (follow him on Twitter @Abzz_6) for another fan interview during Fans 'N Eggs. A smidge of baseball talk as both Chicago franchises head into the stretch run in first place. Plus much more! 

0:00 - 06:50 - Dan and Bill imagine what preseason game four would have been like in Nashville 

06:51 - 08:11 - What's on tap this episode of Zero Doinks? 

08:12 - 50:23 - Bears-Lions Week 1 preview. Obligatory Mitch vs. Foles talk (relax Sun-Times, jeez). Changes in the starting lineup versus Week 1 in 2019. Nagy history against the Lions. Bears depth improvement. What are Detroit's 2020 expectations? 

50:24 - 74:55 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling talk). Zero Doinks has an exciting announcement about a new partnership with Tallysight. Which direction are the boys going in Bears (+3) at Detroit? Rick Feelsmen returns for Hamm's 'N Spreads and gives his three can't miss NFL picks (57:08 - 61:17). Other NFL games of interest throughout the league. Dan talks about teasing some games which makes sense. Rick Feelsmen almost gets in trouble with DraftKings. 

74:56 - 75:45 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks 

75:46 - 89:02 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football talk). The triumphant return of a segment that was murdered halfway through Season 1. Which two Bears should be in your fantasy football starting lineup this weekend? Shoutout to GreaseTank Racing. 

89:03 - 115:23 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview). The boys visit Bears fan Abdallah (@Abzz_6) in Detroit, Michigan, for this week's fan interview. Abdallah walks us through his best recommendations for coaching 8th grade football, his disdain for economics class, his Madden strategies, his smack talk with Lions fan friends and much more. 

115:24 - 115:54 - Where you can follow us on the interwebs 

115:54 - 119:48 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball talk). The Sox and Cubs are still in first place. We breeze through this segment because it's football time. 

119:49 - 138:51 - Outro. A little more horse talk I think? Dan finally fulfills a promise to Bill from a few episodes ago and the boys discuss what they might do if faced with a sultry extraterrestrial, possibly named Linda Lips. We are pumped for Bears season.

The boys of Zero Doinks are pumped up as the regular season is less than two weeks away as they imagine what game three of the preseason would have been like against the 49ers. Nagy doesn't yet name a starting quarterback which is ... weird? Will the Bears shop for a real running back now that they know Montgomery's injury isn't as bad as originally thought? Fans 'N Eggs returns with a visit to a Bears fan in Ohio (@greasetank). Hamm's 'N Ted returns with some baseball talk about two first place Chicago franchises. Hamm's 'N Bread talks about FanDuel having their Sportsbook app up and running in the state of Illinois and Rick Feelsmen pops in for his segment within a segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads. Plus much more!

0:00 - 10:08 - The boys imagine how preseason game number three versus San Francisco would have gone

10:09 - 11:28 - What's on tap this episode?

11:29 - 40:44 - Bears Talk - why hasn't Matt Nagy picked a starting QB for week one yet? David Montgomery's injury isn't as bad as we thought but should the Bears still pursue some RB depth, especially with Leonard Fournette on the market? What is the local media saying about who is rising the depth chart ranks this preseason?

40:45 - 41:33 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

41:34 - 60:17 - Fan's 'N Eggs (fan segment) - with Bears fan Frank from Ohio (@greasetank)

60:18 - 68:21 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball segment) - two first place teams in the city of Chicago; Sox stand pat at the trade deadline while the Cubs make a series of moves

68:22 - 68:53 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs?

68:54 - 86:14 - Hamm's 'N Bread (sports gambling segment) - FanDuel SportsBook is now up and running in the state of Illinois. What do the boys think about all of the free moneys coming their way? Rick Feelsmen stops in for his sharp angles and gives you his three winners of the week during the segment within a segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads (76:09 - 80:52)

86:15 - END - Outro - Dan has some horse racing questions and the boys talk a little fantasy football as Week 1 inches ever so close

The boys of Zero Doinks visit Brian from Montana (@BHogan80) this week for another fan interview in Fans 'N Eggs. David Montgomery gets hurt in training camp - how long is he out and what's the plan? The White Sox take two of three against the Cubs which is followed up by a Lucas Giolito no hitter. Sports gambling rages on in Illinois as DraftKings Casino is now accessible via your phone. Gambling expert Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) offers three winners on Hamm's 'N Spreads. Hard Knocks makes Sean McVeigh out to be super weird.

00:00 - 10:33 - Bears at Broncos Preseason Game 2 (the boys imagine how the second preseason would have gone if not for the pandemic)

10:34 - 11:48 - What's on tap this episode of Zero Doinks?

11:49 - 30:28 - Bears and NFL Talk (David Montgomery gets hurt at practice so what's the plan behind him; Bears get a COVID-19 scare thanks to some false positives; media goes back and forth regarding the Mitch vs Foles battle)

30:29 - 31:18 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

31:19 - 52:06 - Fans 'N Eggs with Brian in Montana - fan interview (this week Zero Doinks packs up a trunk full of Hamm's and visits Bears fan @bhogan80 in Big Sky country)

52:07 - 72:54 - Hamm's 'N Ted - baseball talk (the Sox take two of three at Wrigley; Lucas Giolito pitches a no-no against Pittsburgh)

72:55 - 89:32 - Hamm's 'N Bread - sports gambling talk (DraftKings Casino app is up and running in Illinois much to the pleasure and surprise of Zero Doinks; segment within a segment - 79:48 - 85:48 - Hamm's 'N Spreads with gambling expert Rick Feeslmen offering you his top three picks of the week)

89:33 - 90:03 - Where can you find Zero Doinks online?

90:04 - END - Outro (Hard Knocks talk; Dan gets hung up with players who wear #2 in football)

The boys of Zero Doinks imagine how preseason game number one might have gone versus Cleveland. The Bears are wearing pads as training camp becomes real. Mitch versus BDN rages on. Fans 'N Eggs heads to South Carolina and huge Bears fan @_beardownloyal. Both the White Sox and Cubs are on pace to make postseason magic. America's favorite gambling segment has a new twist as wagering sharp and Bears journalist Rick Feelsmen gives you winning advice. B1G football appears delayed until Spring 2021 thanks to Covid-19. As the recording of this episode was happening, former See Me After Class victim Thom Brennaman is caught saying a bigoted slur into a hot Cincinnati Reds mic and we discuss his off-the-cuff apology.

0:00 - 10:24 - Imagining Bears-Browns preseason game one

10:25 - 11:40 - What's on tap tonight for S2Ep12

11:41 - 34:21 - Bears and NFL chatter (pads are on and the Bears look amazing; QB competition; slowly-developing Halas Hall version of Hard Knocks; Artie Burns tears a knee; tight ends look so good)

34:22 - 52:49 - Fans 'N Eggs visits @_beardownloyal in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina for some Bears talk with a huge Bears and Zero Doinks fan

52:50 - 53:39 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

53:40 - 73:27 - Hamm's 'N Ted baseball talk (Cubs and White Sox both on track for the playoffs; Sox need to stop getting injured; Dan expresses his love for David Ross; a gentlemen's wager comes to life for the upcoming Cubs-Sox series)

73:28 - 86:48 - Hamm's 'N Bread sports gambling talk (Rick Feelsmen visits to insert his new segment, Hamm's 'N Spreads, from 78:36 - 86:03)

86:49 - 87:18 - How can you follow Zero Doinks?

87:19 - 109:44 - Big Ten Minute (the B1G announces football is postponed until Spring 2021; Dan expresses some anger and sadness about the potential loss of a championship-contending Minnesota Gophers squad)

109:45 - END - Wrapping up this hot episode (addressing Thom Brennaman's slur; Dan talks about getting high in Missouri; how awkward was Sean McVeigh in Hard Knocks Ep 1; a little bit of Selling Sunset talk; John Lithgow back on an HBO show)

Dan Doinks's dream of no more Adam Shaheen is realized as the Bears swap the failed former second-rounder to Miami for a conditional 6th round pick. Training camp is ramping up but without Eddie Goldman. How will Chicago's defense adjust to losing the star NT? Hamm's 'N Ted takes a look at how the Cubs and White Sox are shaping up. Fans 'N Eggs travels across the country to meet another Bears fan in this segment all about you, the Bears and Zero Doinks fan. Hamm's 'N Bread has some hot criticism toward how the state of Illinois is handling competing sports gambling apps. The Big Ten Minute returns as Bill gets to crow about his beloved Illini hoops team and their 2020-21 prospects. Plus more!

0:00 - 02:03 - What's happening on this episode of Zero Doinks?

02:04 - 33:17 - Bears Talk - Adam Shaheen traded. Eddie Goldman opting out. Other NFL players of note who won't play in 2020. Pace and Nagy brag about how safe Halas Hall is. Mitch vs. Foles. The penis of Nick Foles. Virginia McCaskey's sin bin.

33:18 - 34:07 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks

34:08 - 53:43 - Hamm's 'N Ted baseball talk - Cubs in first place. Sox starting to play well. Ricky Renteria is the worst. Luis Robert is the best. Kris Bryant has diarrhea.

53:44 - 01:07:56 - Fans 'N Ted fan segment - Zero Doinks visits active Air Force serviceman Mark Hamann in Fayetteville, North Carolina

01:07:57 - 01:19:56 - Hamm's 'N Bread gambling segment - DraftKings Sports Book inches ever so close to being legal. Dan has hockey gambling advice for the audience. A group wager could go a long way to paying some bills.

01:19:57 - 01:20:16 - How to follow Zero Doinks on social media

01:20:17 - 01:33:26 - Big Ten Minute - Bill kicks back to celebrate the return of Ayo Dosunmu and Kofi Cockburn to the future national champion Illini hoops team. Iowa football has some issues. Michigan doctor gets a bit diddly and fiddly.

01:33:27 - END - Outro - Did Dan Doinks get high and watch Unsolved Mysteries? Golfing shirtless at Cog Hill. Tramp stamp talk.

With the NFL on the verge of re-opening, the boys imagine a world in which the Bears enjoy a victorious 2020 season. Hamm's 'N Ted returns with some red hot Sox and Cubs talk as baseball takes center stage. A new explosive fan segment debuts with Phil from Indiana. Hamm's 'N Bread offers some red hot sports gambling tips and news. See Me After Class returns with a SMAC all over the face of Clay Travis. Plus much more! 

00:00 - 02:58 - What's in store this episode? 

02:59 - 18:15 - Bears and NFL Talk - training camp is soon we think? (how to become the next Zero Doinks on Anchor) 

18:16 - 34:53 - Fans 'N Eggs (interviews with worldwide Bears fans) - Phil from Indiana debuts a new fan segment

34:54 - 50:06 - Hamm's 'N Ted (baseball talk) - opening day anticipation for the Chicago Cubs and White Sox 

50:07 - 67:41 - Hamm's 'N Bread (sports gambling talk) - epic EPL rant by Dan Doinks 

67:42 - 81:42 - See Me After Class (media criticism) - Clay Travis sucks so hard 

81:43 - 102:15 - Outro - Dan Doinks talks about a documentary about the All Blacks, Bill Doinks discusses Jeffrey Epstein and Michelle McNamara documentaries