Zero Doinks: World's Weirdest Chicago Bears Podcast

The final exclusive Zero Doinks Christmas song is released here this week with "Santos Baby" courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. The losing streak is over as the Bears smoked the Texans and stayed within striking distance of a Wild Card spot in the NFC. Vikings week x2 approaches - which Bears team is going to show up and does any of this have any bearing on whether of not Pace and Nagy keep their jobs? Mister 3-0 Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) pops in for his expert picks (and maybe a new sponsorship song?) in Hamms N Spreads and the boys lament the firing of former Bears head coach Lovie Smith as he was booted from Illinois football over the weekend after losing the HAT trophy to Northwestern yet again. Bill pays up on a wager to Grease Tank for that Wildcats win, too. Plus the boys visit Marcell (@Stylz_RapIsLife) in Minneapolis, a multi-talented Bears fan and hip hop artist.

0:00 - 03:21 - Exclusive release of Christmas song "Santos Baby," courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks

03:22 - 04:28 - What's on tap for this Zero Doinks ep?

04:29 - 23:33 - Bears-Texans review. Who was that team? Still relevant for the playoffs, somehow. Does this change anything in any way? We are so confused. Who won the Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week?

23:34 - 42:19 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling segment). What are our angles for the Bears-Vikings game? Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen) pops in to brag about his 3-0 week and quite possibly discuss his new sponsor (27:27 - 35:27). Dan has teaser and pleaser options for your ears.

42:20 - 58:15 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football segment). The boys are tied in their battle for BFCorner supremacy. Who do they recommend this week? Who will win in their actual fantasy semifinal matchup?

58:16 - 58:46 - Where can you find us lurking on the interwebs?

58:47 - 81:53 - Big Ten Minute. Woah, Lovie Smith fired from Illini football after a fifth-straight loss to Northwestern. Where does the program turn now? Illini hoops still in top 15 but lost Bragging Rights again to Mizzou. Gophers visit Champaign in hoops to kick off the B1G slate this week. Gophers football finishes up with Wisconsin in a largely-disappointing season. Bill pays off a debt to Grease Tank to finish the segment (80:10 -81:53).

81:54 - 102:51 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). The boys visit Marcell (@Stylz_RapIsLife) in Minneapolis to find out what it's like being a Bears fan in Minnesota. Marcell discusses his podcast (@acrossthaplain) and his hip-hop group (@TRIBMusic) as well as the impact he is making on his community during some trying days in 2020.

102:51 - END - Some Bulls talk and other musings, plus the return of victory song Such Great Heights, Bear Down Now, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks, Son of Bill Doinks and Son of Coach Cuse, inspired by Postal Service.

Christmas tune number two of three debuts this week as a timely ballad of "Oh Sweaty Ted" hits your ears, courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks. The Bears choked away their best opportunity at a win in weeks (months?) with another puzzler against Detroit. Deshaun Watson and the Texans come to town next and I'm sure Watson won't want to stick it to the team that passed on him in the 2017 draft whatsoever. Rick Feelsmen pops in for another expert appearance during Hamms N Spreads, the sports gambling segment within a segment of Hamms N Bread. The boys visit Ireland again for Fans N Eggs, this time with Anthony in Cork (@BearsCork). Lots to be learned during that fan segment. Big Ten Minute touches on Illini hoops and Gopher sports. Plus much more randomness as the slow walk toward Bears death continues.

0:00 - 02:28 - Debut of a new Zero Doinks Christmas tune, "Oh Sweaty Ted," courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks.

02:29 - 03:35 - What's on tap in this week's episode?

03:36 - 28:13 - Review of that ridiculous Lions game and a few thoughts on the long-term look at the Bears issues. Did anyone win the Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player of the Week, as voted on by the legion of the Fans N Eggs?

28:14 - 49:48 - Bears-Texans preview.

49:49 - 64:31 - Hamm's N Breads (sports gambling segment) with a pop-in by resident gambling sharp and DraftKings Ambassador Rick Feelsmen (@rickfeelsmen). 

64:32 - 65:02 - Where can you find Zero Doinks on the interwebs?

65:03 - 70:44 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy sports advice). Who would the boys recommend as a daily fantasy play for the Bears this week?

70:45 - 74:18 - Big Ten Minute. Illini with another football stinker against Iowa. The Gophers might not be playing football any longer. Illini hoops still in the Top 10 going into a road game at Duke and Gophers hoops still without a loss.

74:19 - 96:43 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). The boys visit Cork, Ireland, this week to have a fun chat with Anthony (@BearsCork). Lots of new knowledge gleaned, including info on hurling and much more.

96:44 - END - Outro. Lots of Cubs-Sox news this past week. Outro song "Into The Dark" courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks.

The ladies of Zero Doinks are back for a very special 2020 version of America's favorite segment, Estrogen N Eggs. The boys get you ready for Packers week as you fry up your Thanksgiving turkey (hopefully not Cornish Hen because that would be murder). Enemy lines are crossed as Fans N Eggs visits Beer Watching John in Wisconsin. Plus tons more! Happy Thanksgiving from Zero Doinks!

00:00 - 00:51 - A Thanksgiving song as requested by Dan Doinks (background music courtesy of a karaoke company)

00:52 - 01:56 - What's on tap this episode?

01:57 - 04:13 - The boys touch on a little bit of Packers and a little bit of Cornish Hen

04:14 - 23:43 - Bears-Packers preview. Things all the sudden got super weird about a certain cartoon.

23:44 - 37:37 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling segment). Rick Feelsmen stops by with a youth he met at a KFC to brag about his 1-1-1 week.

37:38 - 45:25 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football segment).

45:25 - 82:23 - Estrogen N Eggs. The wives of Dan and Bill Doinks stop by to play a little game of Hot or Not.

82:24 - 82:53 - Where you can find us on the interwebs.

82:53 - 92:52 - Big Ten Minute. How are the Illini and Gophers looking? College hoops start this week!

92:53 - 102:27 - Fans N Eggs. The boys visit John in Wisconsin to learn what it is to be a beer watcher and a Bears fan across enemy lines.

102:28 - 115:57 - Outro.

115:58 - END - Outro music including "Party Soft" by Coach Cuse

After a 5-1 start, the Bears are now 5-5 heading into their off week and holy crap their offense might be the worst thing anyone has ever laid their eyeballs on. The boys of Zero Doinks talk about the loss on Monday Night Football against the Vikings and discuss long-term implications and what they'd do if they were a McCaskey. Bears Fantasy Corner takes a look back, Hamm's N Bread looks at gambling angles and celebrates the first ever 3-0 weekend for gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen, heard exclusively on Zero Doinks. B1G Minute discusses an Illini win, a Gophers loss and an upcoming hoops season. Hamms N Ted talks about Theo Epstein's resignation and Tony La Russa's latest DUI. Plus much more, including some Bulls chatter. Zzzzzzzero Doinks.

Wow, the Bears might stink, huh? Still tons of reasons to listen to this episode though, with fun surprises throughout including an outro you aren't going to want to miss. That was a rough go in Tennessee as the Bears drop their third straight after a stinker against the Titans. What went wrong? Too much to say. The Vikings come to town for a Monday night showdown that all of America is craving. We will look at gambling and fantasy football angles galore. Rick Feelsmen had a winning record! The Illini lost to the Gophers but hoops are around the corner in B1G Minute. A few thoughts about America as we hit up the phones during the last portion of the show. Thanks for still listening!

A clutch Cairo Santos got the Bears into overtime but the offense couldn't do enough to steal a win against the Saints as the Bears drop two straight and find themselves 5-3 with eight games left. The boys talk all about the game against New Orleans (Taysom Hill TD catch!?!?) and preview this weekend's huge game against the Titans. Can the Bears turn it around? Is this a must win? That's cliche but shit, this might be that. Hamms N Bread visits loads of gambling angles (not to mention a visit from exclusive Zero Doinks gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen) and Bears Fantasy Corner dives deep into who you should add to your daily fantasy roster this weekend. Martha in Tennessee is the first-ever female guest on Fans N Eggs as she kindly allows ZD to visit her across enemy lines. The Illini and Gophers are 0-2 and play each other this weekend in the Toilet Covid Bowl. Plus much more including some bonus baseball talk on Hamms N Ted. Oh boy.

0:00 - 05:00 - 'Highlights' of Bears-Saints plus what's on tap this episode (song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks, inspired by Death Cab For Cutie; highlights courtesy of Fox and chicagobears.com)

05:01 - 47:57 - Review of Bears-Saints. Yikes, that one stung. Nick Foles stinks, eh? Are there any fixes we can see? How do the Bears stand in the NFC playoff hunt? How is the last half of the year going to shake out? (sound at end courtesy of NFL Netowkr)

47:58 - 72:15 - Preview of Bears-Titans. Dan Doinks takes us on a walk through Nashville and reminds us of Bears wins past. 

72:16 - 87:38 - Hamm's N Bread. Dan has a cold streak going on. Which way are the boys leaning in the Titans game? Rick Feelsmen pops in for his hot hot picks from 78:36 - 83:48. Hopefully this is a big bounce back week for us all. 

87:39 - 102:18 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Dan met a clown during Halloween. Revisiting Little Caesar's logo. Who did the boys recommend for their Daily Fantasy teams?

102:19 - 142:53 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). The boys visit Nashville and Bears/Titans fan Martha. Her story is incredible as her experience in the FBI saw some things that would cost us some sleep. Also, apparently Memphis sucks and sloths can't be touched with the human hand.

142:54 - 146:08 - Big Ten Minute. The Illini stink and have a lot of Covid issues. The Gophers also stink. Both teams play each other this week. Does anyone care?

146:09 - 146:39 - Where can you find us on the interwebs?

146:40 - 164:56 - Hamm's N Ted. The Cubs are weird and the Sox just hired Tony La Russa. Bill tries to make heads or tails of that Jerry Reinsdorf-led decision.

164:57 - 179:56 - Outro. Hey it's election day. Everything's fine.

179:57 - 184:09 - Outro Music. Full "Bears lose" song for your enjoyment. Into The Dark, Red Zone's Stark courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, Daughter of Bill Doinks and inspired by Death Cab for Cutie.

A Monday night to forget as the Bears leave Los Angeles without having scored an offensive touchdown. With Chicago still 5-2, what changes can be made to stop the bleeding? New Orleans comes to town for a Sunday afternoon affair. Will Dan's criticisms of Taysom Hill come back to haunt us all? Sports gambling and fantasy football angles galore this week, a quick visit to the B1G and the boys head to Louisiana to chat with Bears fan Jarred during this week's Fans N Eggs. Plus much much more. Let's lick our wounds together. That sounds weird.

0:00 - 05:02 - the world premiere of the Bears devastating loss song, "Into The Dark (Red Zone's Stark)" by Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and Daughter of Bill Doinks with inspiration from Death Cab For Cutie. Plus a look at what's on tap tonight.

05:03 - 50:24 - Bears-Rams review. What in the hell is going on with Matt Nagy's offense? We are about all out of new offensive playcalling options if you've listened to the past couple weeks but let's continue to get creative. Did anyone earn the Cornish Hen Bears Player Of The Week?

50:25 - 51:13 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

51:14 - 74:20 - Saints preview. Do people hate Sean Payton? Is there a Sandusky still on staff for New Orleans? Why are the Bensons worth so much money? What happened with the weird Catholic church fiddling and diddling scandal?

74:21 - 92:53 - Hamm's N Bread (gambling segment). Rick Feelsmen drops by to offer his hot hot picks which will keep you at or slightly above .500. Which way are the boys leaning in Bears-Saints? Any teasers that Dan Doinks wants to slap in front of the audience?

92:52 - 107:36 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football segment). Unique angles and weirdness take center stage during this week's fantasy football segment. Don't miss it.

107:37 - 129:55 - Fans N Eggs (fan interview segment). Dan and Bill visit Louisiana this week and chat with Jarred (@MrSmith8201) regarding all things New Orleans, including crawfish, BBQ, beer and tons more.

129:56 - 130:26 - Where you can find Zero Doinks on the interwebs.

130:27 - 133:44 - B1G Minute. The Illini and Gophers both stunk last weekend.

133:45 - END - Happy Halloween, Doinkers. We love you.

Another incredible defensive performance lands the Bears atop the NFC North at 5-1. Haters gonna hate (is that what the kids say) but don't look now - Chicago is fighting for top billing in the NFC. The boys of Zero Doinks review the Carolina game and the Fans N Eggs vote on their Cornish Hen Player Of The Week. Monday Night Football looms with the Bears heading to Los Angeles and a big game against the Rams. Gambling and fantasy football angles will be looked at as will an always-awkward yet sensual visit from sports gambling sharp Rick Feelsmen. Fans N Eggs takes a visit to Mexico with Bears fan extraordinaire Diego as he introduces us to his incredible Bears fan club. Plus much more as always!

0:00 - 02:42 - Highlights from Week 6 and what's on tap this episode (highlights courtesy of Fox TV and chicagobears.com; music courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks and children of the two of them)

02:43 - 44:38 - Review of Bears-Panthers. Are the Bears the greatest 5-1 team that has ever walked the Earth? Why so many haters? I guess the offense does still stink, huh? What are some solutions? This defense is still very sexy. Who wins this week's Zero Doinks Cornish Hen Player Of The Game?

44:39 - 45:27 - How you can become the next Zero Doinks

45:28 - 68:47 - LA Rams preview. A huge MNF matchup awaits as Sean McVay and his weird staff host the Bears. Dan Doinks walks us through some Bears-Rams history but things start to go off the rails a little bit toward the end of the segment. (audio at the beginning courtesy of the 1980s and YouTube)

68:48 - 88:28 - Hamm's N Bread (sports gambling segment). Which way are the boys going in Bears-Rams? What are expert sharp Rick Feelsmen's three hot hot picks for the week during the segment within the segment Hamm's N Spreads (76:30 - 82:01)? Anything else catching Dan Doinks eye to win us all some hot cash? And why do Subway sandwich shops smell so weird? (audio at the end courtesy of one of the Batman movies)

88:29 - 97:27 - Bears Fantasy Corner (fantasy football advice). Who are the top two recommended plays of Zero Doinks for Monday's Bears-Rams game? Who gets the weekly Tayson Hill trash fantasy player award presented by Glad?

97:28 - 115:11 - Fans N Eggs (Bears fan interview segment). The boys visit Diego in Mexico (@dandarzae) as he talks about the red hot Bears fan club he is part of in Monterrey. How many Bears fans are there in his area? Ever been to Chicago? Do they serve Hamm's in his area? 

115:12 - 115:42 - How to follow Zero Doinks on the interwebs.

115:43 - 125:16 - Big Ten Minute (Big Ten football/basketball segment). B1G football is back this weekend! The Illini kick things off in Madison and the Gophers host Michigan and ESPN Gameday. What are these squad's prospects in 2020?

125:17 - 133:57 - Outro thoughts. Did you say you were boycotting the NFL for whatever your reasons were? Grow up, you're not welcomed back now that the Bears are obviously Super Bowl-bound. Just grow up and stop being such a baby.

133:58 - END - Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) victory song courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, their children, and originally Postal Service, of course.

An incredible win at home against Tom Brady's Bucs gives the 4-1 Bears a winning feeling heading into Week 6 and inspired Zero Doinks to debut a brand new Bears victory song. The boys of Zero Doinks review Thursday night's victory while looking toward Sunday's clash against the red hot Carolina Panthers, including gambling angles and predictions as well as fantasy football advice. Fans N Eggs visits Ames, Iowa, this week with college football expert Matthias (@MatthiasWRNL). Bill takes a few moments to bury the memory of former White Sox manager Ricky Renteria and pitching coach Don Cooper. Plus much more!

0:00 - 4:00 - World premiere of the exclusive Zero Doinks Chicago Bears victory song Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) (courtesy of Coach Cuse, Bill Doinks, children of both Coach Cuse and Bill Doinks as well as original song performed by Postal Service)

04:01 - 05:11 - What's on tap this episode?

05:12 - 49:19 - Bears-Bucs review. How good are these Bears? Is Nagy okay? Should we expect more of Foles? Who gets the Cornish Hen Chicago Bears Player of the Week as voted on by our past Fans N Eggs guests? (sound courtesy of Fox Sports)

49:20 - 50:09 - How you can be the next Zero Doinks

50:10 - 81:18 - Bears-Panthers preview. Dan Doinks walks us through the weird staff and front office of Carolina and Bill Doinks reflects on his trip to Charlotte for Bears-Panthers in 2003 and some hotel room weirdness. Hubba Hubba. (sound courtesy of the interwebs)

81:19 - 98:38 - Hamms N Bread with Rick Feelsmen visiting for Hamms N Spreads. What gambling angles are in store for this week's Bears game plus what else looks intriguing throughout the league. Rick Feelsmen pops in for his three hot hot picks as he is back on track as Mister Two and One.

98:39 - 99:08 - Where can you find us on the interwebs?

99:09 - 115:49 - Bears Fantasy Corner. Which Bears should you insert into your lineups this week for fantasy football cash? Things get weird per usual.

115:50 - 146:53 - Fans N Eggs. This Bears fan interview segment visits Iowa this week and @MatthiasWRNL, a college football expert and writer for Iowa State's SB Nation site. Matthias talks about David Montgomery, some future QB and skill position options for the Bears plus tons more.

146:54 - END - The outro words touch on Ricky Renteria's firing from the White Sox and some hot trolling from Dan Doinks about who the Sox might be targeting for the job. How did Bill's marathon go? Plus more weirdness. The outro concludes with another taste of some Such Great Heights (Bear Down Now) and we love you for listening