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Coaching with Suzie at www.DivaOfLove.com

§ I do not know how many times I   have heard from clients or others that they never got “closure” from someone   they were speaking to but “If you really want closure at some point, you have   to shut the door.” [Jacki Wells-Wunderlin]

§ Let us break this down a bit.   Along with complaints for closure are the words, typically, “just get over   it”. It happens to be “National Get Over It Day” believe it or not. But what   does that even mean and is it healthy?

§ On some level getting over it   is to recover from whatever is ailing us, even if it is just that guy or gal   who ghosted us. Each person, however, has their own process of healing. Feel   the pain, that is OK but as long as the pity parties and overthinking do not   overwhelm you or take over your life, then let yourself go there for a bit,   then, move on.

§ Talking about it with your   friends, family, a coach or therapist can definitely help you get it off your   chest and work it through. Venting can help and you can get another opinion   or perspective on the situation.

§ The thing is, you may think   you need closure but in all honesty, you do not. Never in the history of   ghosting or leaving has anyone really given the other what they really   needed. You had your answer when they severed you from their life. You do not   need to know why. It is just your ego wanting to be appeased.

§ Healing takes time but it is a   choice. You need to choose to move on. You need to choose to take back your   power. You need to choose to take back control of your thoughts. There is no   magic formula or schedule, just a willingness to make it happen.

§ As change is part of letting   go and getting over it – perhaps a relationship or friendship breakup, a loss   or even just a ghoster – try and embrace your “new normal”. Find new ways of   bringing yourself joy and filling your own cup with things that make you   happy.

§ In the end, getting over you   past, letting go, means living fully in the present and looking forward to a   better future. It is a choice so choose it.

§ TRY THIS: If there is something you are holding on to   and is taking up space in your mind, forge a plan that will help you get over   it and let go because it is not worth the space in your head.

§ POST IT NOTE: I will shut the door for closure

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Get GREAT coaching for yourself with Suzie!  Online @ www.DivaOfLove.com

What is letting go? Letting go is severing the attachments that people, places or things have on you. It is taking that major step to move forward without looking back.

♣It is extremely difficult for most to do this, particularly if we were victimized by our past and especially if it has had a traumatic effect on the events, or choices, we have made in our life. You almost have your past on repeat, living the pain or angst over and over again.

♣I get it, I too have lived through this. But I am here to tell you that it is so worth getting to the other side of hurt where there is happiness and LIFE.

♣While many of us, me included, needed the help of a therapist to get through it, there are things you can do to get the process started because holding on to pain is not healthy and can hold you back from having the life you desire and deserve. 

♣Making a decision to let go and move through the trauma doesn’t negate it or discount its effect on your life but what it does do is help you break free from your trauma.

♣To get started, here are are some of the things to consider:
1- Allow yourself to feel all the feels: honor your feelings by acknowledging them by speaking to someone, crying when you need to and journaling.
2- Accept that you cannot change the past: stop letting the past control you or your mind even your actions, you cannot control it but what happened happened now move forward because that IS within your control.
3- Forgive others and yourself: this doesn’t change the events of the past but it helps you heal and move on, it doesn’t mean you will let them back in your life but it does mean what happened doesn’t control you anymore.
4- Practice meditation exercises: this helps you be more mindful and peaceful, even breathing exercises letting negativity out and positive emotions in helps a lot.
5- Make time for joyful things: filling your life with what and who makes you happy will help you lose yourself in positive experiences and not focus on the past.
6- Find your tribe: your tribe is your key support system that you know you can count on; this can be in person or even online.
7- Create positive affirmations: reciting these every day, several times a day helps you rewire your thinking to get to a better place (examples could be “I let go”, “I have everything I need”, “I am not burdened by my past”, “My past does not define me”, etc)
8- Be compassionate with yourself: we tend to blame ourselves or be hard on ourselves, but it’s important to practice self-love, self-acceptance and know your worth as you are.
9- Create distance from the cause of your pain: it’s hard to let go when someone or something is in your face all the time, creating distance helps you disconnect the tether holding you together
10- Seek professional help: we often need to have a safe space to heal and therapy provides that in a non-judgmental non-biased way.

♣No one is worth your peace of mind. No one is worth your misery. No one deserves to take up free space in your mind. Take back control and power over your life by deciding to let go and taking the actions necessary to do it.

♣TRY THIS: Acknowledge what it is that is holding you back from moving forward and write down a plan of action of how you will work to let it go. 

♣POST IT NOTE: My past does not define me

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Today on The Milkman Show...
Money Coach Judith Cane (www.judithcane.com) has some tips on how to save money as costs rise.

Sue McGarvie (www.sexwithsue.com) helps a listener navigate the world of porn since their new partner loves it.

Keith Whittier dives into Disney+ for something you need to watch.

The John Joke Of The Day
And... How a man's lack of interest in sex lead to the very boring cereal known as Corn Flakes... Chris Fothergill-Brown from youtube.com/thatsrank tells that story!

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