Oh what a shame. Mum has seen The Post, starring Meryl "The Streeping Bag" Streep and Forrest Gump. It sounds about as interesting as a man called Graham, but mum insists it's decent. What does *she* know, am I right?

Rob and his mum are so obsessed with saving money that they visited India, where a cinema ticket only costs 220 Rupees (£2.44!). Unfortunately they saw 1921: a musical horror romance that was quite astonishingly shit. But great, obviously. Mum also saw Downsizing, because she is a big fan of Datt Mamon.

Rob and his mum are so obsessed with saving money that they visited India, where a cinema ticket only costs 220 Rupees (£2.44!). Unfortunately they saw 1921: a musical horror romance that was quite astonishingly shit. But great, obviously. Mum also saw Downsizing, because she is a big fan of Datt Mamon.

Rob's grandma has been to see Darkest Hour, a fictional movie about a heroic/racist jowel-monger, and Three Billboards etc, a collection of photographs displayed at speed on a screen with accompanying audio. To celebrate her doubling the number of movies she has watched at the cinema this decade, let's listen to her reviews. Or not. Your choice.

Rob's grandma has been to see Darkest Hour, a fictional movie about a heroic/racist jowel-monger, and Three Billboards etc, a collection of photographs displayed at speed on a screen with accompanying audio. To celebrate her doubling the number of movies she has watched at the cinema this decade, let's listen to her reviews. Or not. Your choice.

Batman's back and this time he's got a massive moustache and a Rosamund Pike. Mum's been to see Hostiles and it's a western so it's bound to be great (or shit).

Batman's back and this time he's got a massive moustache and a Rosamund Pike. Mum's been to see Hostiles and it's a western so it's bound to be great (or shit).

If there's anything more boring than bloated schmucks playing cards, it's Jessica Chastain's acting. But she keeps making movies and mum keeps going to see them so I'm sort of screwed, really. Also, it's goodbye Kevin Spacey and hello not getting touched on your dick without your explicit consent! All the Money in the World is about a bastard millionnaire from the past but mostly about Kevin Spacey being a dirty ape.

If there's anything more boring than bloated schmucks playing cards, it's Jessica Chastain's acting. But she keeps making movies and mum keeps going to see them so I'm sort of screwed, really. Also, it's goodbye Kevin Spacey and hello not getting touched on your dick without your explicit consent! All the Money in the World is about a bastard millionnaire from the past but mostly about Kevin Spacey being a dirty ape.

Mum was conned into seeing the latest Wolverine movie, only to discover it's a frigging musical. Bad luck, a-hole!