By Ben Jarvis, Hunter Kelly, and Claymation Bates.Comedy
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episodes

  • Episode 39: The Ghost of Conway Twitty

    Jingle bells, monkeys smell, Conway’s not impressed! The guys get together to swap Christmas stories and presents. Really? This is the season finale? Really?

    We at “You Talk Loud” would like to thank all of you for listening and supporting us over the year. We’ll return in 2013 with fresh episodes and tons more bullshit. Merry Christmas and have a swanky new year!

    • Season’s greetings
    • The unwrapping of the gifts
    • That monkey’s the shit
    • Maintenance!
    • Christmas-related injuries
    • Christmas countdown
    • Merry Christmas and goodnight
      • Links

      Double crisp coal

      Crystal growing kit
      Sizzlers
      FBI action play set
      Holiday erasers
      Cars holiday decorations
      Melt marine man
      Criminal profiling kit
      Fingerprinting kit
      Paint-a-bank monkey
      Conway Twitty
      Wrestler
      Darwin, the IKEA monkey

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    • Episode 38: Tales from the Moon

      It’s not a crime to like Will Smith OR be a Juggalo. But both? Madness! This episode was recorded around Thanksgiving.

      • The richest NASCAR fan in poor town
      • Fables of the East side
      • Juggalo on Juggalo crime
      • RIP Twinkie the Kid
      • Shut up and play, Hed PE
      • Fun and games
      • Bond is bi-curious
      • The McRib maneuver
      • Bears and neuralizers
      • Great moments in History Channel history
      • Downgraded to khaki coat
        • Links

        Circuit of the Americas

        “Fox Undercover: Ditching Parties”
        Hed PE
        “Halo 4”
        “Star Wars: The Old Republic”
        “World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria”

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      • Episode 37: Just Skip ‘Em

        Hope and change! Flip! Flop! The guys get political for a once… and learn to stick to the dick jokes. This episode was recorded after the 2012 elections.

        • “I’m an omnivore now.”
        • Ripoff effect
        • Space jumping
        • 4 more years!
          • Links

          Felix Baumgartner

          The Karl Rove meltdown
          Vote411.org (What Ben should have used!)

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        • Episode 36: I Never Thought It’d Happen


          It’s a small wretched hive of scum and villainy after all! This episode was recorded at the beginning of November.

          • Johnny’s face
          • The walrus and the skate ramp
          • Nobody likes Ralph
          • Shotgunning Netflix
          • “The Karate Kid” for guitarists
          • “Tyler Perry’s Star Wars”
          • Too many video games!
          • Hobbits need to look less real
            • Links

            “Wreck-It Ralph”

            “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy”
            “Cloud Atlas”
            The fake language from “Cloud Atlas”

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          • Episode 35: Schindler on the Roof

            The guys gather at Dylan’s house to discuss all the big questions. Where’s can you get the best kolache? Stretch or Plas? The old Spartacus or the new one? “Tombstone” or “Unforgiven”? It was a night to remember.

            • I want answers and I don’t want to swipe
            • Battle of the stretchy guys
            • Print’s dead
            • Michael Richards (again)
            • Video stores that we knew and loved (and hated)
            • Fuck cake pops
            • The best little kolache house in Texas
            • Ben and Hunter are Browncoats
            • The Roman strap-on
            • Ben finally saw “Freaks and Geeks”
            • Everything is retro
            • The failed Western revival of the early ’90s
            • As good as “Bill and Ted”?
            • Bet on black Bond
              • Links

              “The Plastic Man Comedy/Adventure Show”

              Stretch Armstrong
              Cake Pop
              Kolache
              The Little Czech Bakery
              Bar-B-Q Heaven
              Idris Elba

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            • Episode 34: Let Me Put My Bra Back on Before My Dad Walks In

              Come on down to the Cantina Cabaret! Anakin can sure put on a hell of a show. Admission includes a bantha steak and complimentary Jawa juice. Stick around for the comedy stylings of Salacious Crumb and Bib Fortuna. No droids allowed!

              • Master ninja, huh?
              • We got crabs at Mos Eisley
              • Leave your white guy at the door
              • What does Mos Eisley smell like?
              • Vampire condoms and the salty, old seaman
              • We mecha more
              • It’s a deep fried world, after all
                • Links

                “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles NES game”

                “Kinect Star Wars”
                Lego TMNT
                Mos Eisley
                “Dark Shadows”
                “Indie Game the Movie”
                “8mm”
                “Videodrome”
                “Interstella 5555”
                Big Tex

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              • Episode 33: I Really Ate Like a Pig

                Grease up and get ready for a roller coaster ride, brother!

                • American ingenuity
                • Getting drunk at the Chili’s bar
                • Crackle & Pop
                • Sitcom geography
                • The Hulkster gets down
                • It’s all fun and games
                • Do you shave your bush?
                • Ben gets corny
                • Joss, I take it all back
                • TMNT is back!
                • You can’t defend Michael Richards
                • The not-so-great debate
                • Get off my porch!
                  • Links

                  Crackle

                  “Animal Practice”
                  The Hulk Hogan porno
                  “Borderlands 2”
                  “WWE 13”
                  “Night Trap”
                  Barton Hill Farms corn maze
                  Joss Whedon
                  “Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee”
                  The first 2012 presidential debate

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                • Episode 32: An Honest Day’s Work

                  You no can explain Hulk. Hulk got big problems. Puny humans make Hulk feel confused. Hulk got mortgage. Hulk got 7 year car loan. Hulk got more on plate than Hulk can handle. You no judge Hulk. Only Hulk can judge Hulk.

                  • Even the Hulk has his days
                  • Where’s Stan Lee?
                  • The “Ghetto Guys” gave me sandwiches
                  • The hidden animal cemetery
                  • A sucker for a good peeing-in-the-pants story
                  • I might have to wash my cat
                  • I know the gay bars
                  • Mr. Slippery Dick
                  • Wow, Ice-T…wow
                  • That’s the most expensive thing I’ve ever touched
                    • Links

                    Stan Lee

                    The Geto Boys
                    Slick Rick
                    “I Love the ’90s”

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                  • Episode 31: Deep 1313

                    Put on your striped tank top, groom your handlebar mustache, and charge up your iPhone. It’s hip to be square.

                    • Just give me a Victrola
                    • Prince is all puffed up
                    • The mustache of gods
                    • Stay away from Legs Avenue
                    • In a fucked up Star Wars future, down in 1313…
                    • Dad… where does my content go when my console dies?
                    • Hunter’s pitch for a new controller
                    • It’s like the stupid Subaru truck looking thing
                    • iPhones seem like timeshares
                    • And that was bullshit too
                    • The cook and the architect
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                    • Episode 30: Ernest Dies Alone

                      It’s ’90s week! Yes, raise a glass of Crystal Pepsi and chow down on a microwave brownie! Is Ben afraid to watch chick flicks and girly TV shows? As if!

                      • So how big did your foot get?
                      • Tramadol meltdown
                      • Everyone loves Gangnam style (except Hunter and Bates)
                      • You should have seen the look on Johnny’s face
                      • Let me know when the Asian chick is on
                      • Arkham City knows how to party
                      • The bargain bin ’90s
                      • The was a Mentos commercial in that movie!
                      • You’re the best… around!
                      • Fuck remakes
                      • Killing cats for banjo strings
                      • Vacation (all I ever wanted!)
                      • In a van down by the river…
                      • Goodbye, Vern
                        • Links

                        Tramadol

                        PSY – “Gangnam Style”
                        Dr. Christina Yang
                        Mentos… the freshmaker!
                        Joe Esposito – “You’re the Best Around”
                        Stan Bush – “You got the Touch”
                        Sammy Hagar – “Winner Takes it All”
                        Giorgio Moroder and Pete Bellotte – “Take It to the Limit”
                        “Give me the Banjo”

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