I remember when I had my financial moment. I earned raise at work like I had many times before. However, each time I was given a raise in the past my standard of living changed but not my financial situation. You see, my wife and I had accumulated $68,000 of debt. The debt consisted of credit cards, Home Depot card, school loans, and vehicle loans. One night right after receiving a better than expected raise I couldn’t sleep. That night while lying in my bed, I put a stake in the ground; this was day one where I was going to get finally financially healthy. The moment I made that decision, I felt a calming over me and quickly fell asleep. The next morning, I woke up and instantly wanted to take steps to get our financial lives in order. There was only one problem. The moment I had the night before was my moment. It was not a together moment with my wife. When I tried to talk to her about it, she looked at me like I was crazy. I don’t blame her. We were living a life that by most standards seemed like a we had our money under control. When I blurted out everything, I thought we needed to do to become financially healthy she felt attacked like the debt was her fault. I was determined though to make things right with her and approach our conversation about the state of our money differently. I pressed on.Have you tried talking to your spouse about making getting financially healthy? If you approached the conversation like it did the first time, it is usually the moment where the energized partner loses steam and goes back to living the way they were. Changes do not get made, and the dreams do not get realized. If this is you read and follow the steps below to get on the same financial page as your spouse. It will not be easy. You will want to quit again but, I promise you it will be one of the greatest things you ever do for your marriage. It is time for you to get on the same page together.

1. Move from YOUR stake in the ground to OUR stake in the ground

Don’t act like you have it all figured out and know every change needed in your financial life. Instead, grab your spouse by the hands and look her in the eye and ask her about her goals and dreams. Don’t talk, just listen.

2. Admit that you are just as much at fault for being financially unhealthy

Please do not use this time to point fingers and blame your spouse. Keep your eye on the goal which is only getting on the same page as your spouse. You both play a role in the situation you are in, which is a likelihood of coming up short in your financial life.

3. Come prepared

Show your spouse the net worth statement, cash flow analysis or any money ratio that shows where you are both coming up short of your goals and dreams. Don’t be abstract or you will not make your point. Remember, this is all done in a calming way.

4. Swear to financial honesty moving forward

We all have financial skeletons in our closet when it comes to being honest about every money move we made and didn't tell our significant other. Tell your spouse about a time where you were not honest. Tell your wife you are sorry for not being honest. Please do not put your spouse on the spot and ask her to bring her misgivings. If your spouse wants to, it can be liberating. Hiding financial decisions from your spouse can be very stressful. Admitting secretes liberating. Being honest with each other about expenses is a major step in becoming financially healthy.

5. Commit to planned meetings with your spouse about your finances

It is one thing to both be on the same page; it is quite another to take action. Carving out scheduled time will ensure you work on getting in financial shape. It is so much easier to do nothing about your finances. I mean really, you have a roof over your head, food to eat and do fun things but you both must commit to being financially healthy and scheduling time is a significant step.