April 08, 2024

055 | Rerun - Dealing with Difficult People at Work

18 minutes

What should you do if you constantly have to deal with a difficult person at work?

Would you declare war and be difficult to them as well, or would you just let it go?

In this episode, I am going to give you some tips on how to deal with difficult people.

We’ve all worked with someone who is extremely difficult.

They don’t agree with anyone, they always ark up when people make new suggestions or suggest changes and they’ve gained a reputation for being difficult.

So much so that people saying “Oh I wonder what XX will say about that?”

First of all, as leaders, we have a duty of care towards the people in our team. If someone is being difficult, we should try and understand why.

Similar to your high school bully (or workplace bully), they usually are covering up their own hurt and trying to make up for it by being mean to others.

It doesn’t excuse the behaviour, it just explains it.

So when it comes to dealing with difficult people, here are a couple of tips:

Don’t take it personally, it usually isn’t you or the team, it’s usually something personal that has happened to them

Do not react to their difficult behaviour - stay calm at all times and remain respectful

Call them into your office and speak with them - lay it on the table. “I have noticed that you have been acting a bit troubled lately. I am worried about you, is there anything I can support you with? If they deny it, then give them some examples. If they say they didn’t mean it or it was taken the wrong way, then point out that their current behaviour and reaction is exactly the same and as someone whose job it is to look from the outside in, you can see that something might potentially bother them. Let them know that you are there for them and to support them and that you would appreciate it if they would be a bit more cooperative towards you and the team.

If the difficult behaviour continues, call them back in again and speak to them about examples of where their performance was affected by their behaviour and how their behaviour is starting to affect the team.

Check-in with them daily, and show them that you care. Invite them for coffee to your office for a chat and hopefully by now, you have started breaking down the barriers so that they will talk to you.

You can also suggest that if they don’t want to talk to you, they speak to someone else like HR or another line manager.

Some people with certain personalities unfortunately are just difficult and it will do you well, to not take it personally. However, you also have to protect your team and if the person’s behaviour is affecting the team, you need to do something about it.

I’m all for accountability in the workplace. Leaders need to keep their people accountable.

I hope this was helpful. Join me again on Friday as we end the week strong.

God bless.

Next steps:

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By Rika Whelan | Christian Leadership Coach

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