When I stepped into one of the biggest leadership roles I’d ever held, I wanted to be assertive.

I wanted to walk into a room, be confident (not timid because that’s how I felt) and have everybody listen to me.

That’s not what being assertive means at all… but honestly, I didn’t quite know what it meant to be assertive.

Assertiveness can often be confused with aggressiveness.

People who are assertive are often labelled as being too aggressive with their approach.

So, hence the question… should female Christian leaders be assertive?

Let’s get that question answered!

Let’s have a look first at what it actually means to be assertive…

According to Risely.me, assertiveness refers to the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful manner while also considering the rights and opinions of others.

It is a communication and behavioural style that promotes open and honest expression, confidence, and self-assuredness without infringing upon the rights and boundaries of others.

Now, assertiveness is often confused with aggressiveness as I mentioned before.

And aggressiveness refers to the behaviour or communication style that is characterised by forcefulness, hostility, and the disregard for the rights and feelings of others.

Aggressiveness involves a proactive approach to achieving one’s own goals or asserting one’s dominance, often at the expense of others. It can manifest in the form of verbal, physical or passive-aggressive actions.

Consider the definition of assertiveness, where you express your thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful manner while also considering the rights and opinions of others.

So in my humble opinion, yes, female Christian leaders can and should be assertive.

You might wonder how can I learn to express my thoughts, feelings, and needs in a clear, direct, and respectful manner while also considering the rights and opinions of others.

1. Role-playing - seems silly, but by practising with someone else, you make it fun and less intimidating

In an upcoming episode, I’ll be talking to you about how you can gain self-confidence in your abilities. I believe this to be a good follow on, because self-confidence is extremely important. If you don’t believe in yourself, other people might also not. Stay tuned for the next episode. 

1. Navigate to https://www.womenoffaithinleadership.com where you can:

• Join the community of like-minded female Christian leaders. This is where I will be hanging out if I'm not on the podcast chatting to you all. Come share and support each other here. 

2. If you need any support, you can get in contact with me for a 1:1 coaching session. Just email me at [email protected]

3. Connect with me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rikawhelan