1 Minute Political Update

Donald Trump says violent crime in DC is intolerable and he plans to lock up the gang members who are attacking innocent citizens (little does he realize this crime spree is coming from the White House) while a former Jan. 6 defendant is hired by the DOJ, making our democracy DOA.

The transcripts from the Ghislain Maxwell interview with Deputy AG Todd Blanche may be released (not the full transcripts, just the cover page) while Agriculture Secretary Brooke Collins said able-bodied Americans on Medicaid and not working should apply for farm jobs formerly held by tax-paying undocumented immigrants (not on Medicaid).

Donald Trump fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics because she rigged the low job numbers to make him look bad—cue the laugh track—then announced plans to add a 90,000-square-foot ballroom to the White House than can hold more guests than attended the Nuremberg rallies.

Donald Trump accused former President Barack Obama of attempting to rig the 2016 election in favor of Hillary Clinton—distraction, anyone?—during a meeting with Philippine President Ferdinand R. Marcos Jr. in the Oval Office where the two discussed tariffs and Trump’s love of manilla envelopes.

The GOP-controlled Congress cut $1.1 billion to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, claiming NPR and PBS are anti-America airwaves (Elmo is red and, of course, red is communist) while Donald Trump claims he’ll lower beef prices faster than he ended the war in Ukraine. 

Donald Trump is experiencing swelling in his legs chronic from a condition called venous insufficiency—he’s also suffering from human decency insufficiency—while U.S. Attorney Maurene Comey who prosecuted Jeffrey Epstein was fired without cause. (Actually, the cause was she refused to call the Epstein file cover-up a hoax.)

Donald Trump gave Russia a 50-day ultimatum to end its war with Ukraine (Spoiler alert: they’ve already ignored it) then went on social media and called his supporters weaklings for continuing to clamor for the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files which he claims is a Democrat scam (Spoiler alert: He’s an idiot).

MAGA world is furious that no Jeffrey Epstein files are being released, which Donald Trump promised to do (Trump reneged on a promise? Now THERE’S a shock) while fans booed Trump at a soccer match yesterday though he claimed they weren’t booing, they were cooing. (More to the point, that would be “coup-ing.”)

Donald Trump threatened Brazil with a 50% tariff because President Luiz Inácio Lula indicted former president Jair Bolsonaro who tried to overturn the election. (Trump says they’re “best amigos”). Meanwhile, the DOJ put John Brennan and James Comey under investigation for investigating the Russia-election interference case. (Trump says it’s not a witch hunt unlike the original investigation, which was clearly a witch hunt.)

Donald Trump told reporters he regretted the Washington Commanders changed their name from the Redskins (“No one loves Indians more than me”) while Attorney General Pam Bondi said a one-minute gap in the video of Jeffrey Epstein’s jail cell was due to Biden’s open border policy.