1 Minute Political Update

At a meeting of U.S. military leaders, Pete Hegseth focused on personal grooming, specifically no beards and no fat generals (that should put fear into our enemies) while Donald Trump’s tariffs have cost farmers billions in soybean sales. (Farmers still support Trump, saying they’re honored to be put out of business by a serial failed businessman.)

The Supreme Court ruled that Donald Trump doesn’t have to spend billions in foreign aid approved by Congress, which goes against the Constitution (they must not have read that section), while the government is expanding programs to help the coal industry, which will expedite climate change (but won’t kill birds like windmills do).

The DOJ indicted former FBI Director James Comey for lying to Congress—though the real charge is being a boil on Donald Trump’s ass—while Trump officially named Antifa a domestic terrorist organization even though there’s no such group. (In fact, the letter Trump sent to them came back “Return to Sender” as well as “Postage Due.”)

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Jimmy Kimmel is back on the air, but mega-TV station owners Sinclair and Nexstar refused to carry it—they ran the Nazi propaganda film “Triumph of the Will”—while Donald Trump told pregnant women not to take Tylenol as it causes autism. (Pregnant women should not watch Trump as it causes morning, noon, and evening sickness.)

The U.S. military carried out another strike against an alleged drug smuggling boat—piloted by Captain Ahab Rehab—while the case against White House Border Czar Tom Homan—caught on tape accepting a $50,000 bribe—was dismissed by the DOJ due to the video being shot by a liberal cameraman. 

Donald Trump designated antifa a terrorist group even though there’s no such organization with a leadership structure (sounds like the White House) while FCC Chairman Brendan Carr announces free speech is DOA.

Today, Donald Trump is visiting England where he’ll meet with Prime Minister Keir Starmer and King Charles whose crown he plans to steal (to make his American king routine official). During the visit, the BBC’s Channel 4 will be running an endless loop of Trump’s lies, which they’re calling Must-Gag TV.

Donald Trump denied he wrote a letter that appeared in Jeffrey Epstein’s birthday book, claiming it was not his signature (even DEAD handwriting experts can tell that it is) while the Supreme Court’s ruling that racial profiling is okay when it comes to finding undocumented immigrants proves they’re all in on MAGA (Make America Gringo Again).

A federal appeals court upheld the $83 million jury award against Donald Trump for defaming writer E. Jean Carroll—Trump plans to appeal it to the Politburo—while at the Museum of the Bible Trump expressed his belief in religious freedom and how he’s going to bring back prayer in schools as long as they used the Trump Bible.

The state of Florida is no longer mandating vaccines for children, claiming that what you put in your kid’s body is between your God (aka RFK, Jr.), while Donald Trump is renaming the Department of Defense the Department of War. (Apparently, the Department of Bombing Drug Boats Illegally didn’t have the same ring to it.)