California Governor Gavin Newsom is suing Donald Trump for deploying the National Guard to quell peaceful protests of ICE arrests of undocumented immigrants in Los Angeles, calling the move illegal, immoral, and unconstitutional (aka The Trump Trifecta).

Elon Musk and Donald Trump continue to fight like cats and dogs—and the winner will not be the American people—while German Chancellor Friedrich Merz was in the Oval Office for a discussion on trade, the war in Ukraine, and Trump Lederhosen.

Donald Trump rescinded a Biden-era policy requiring hospitals to provide emergency abortions to women whose health is in danger, calling it “Pro-Woke” (read: Pro-Death) while Pete Hegseth calls U.S. naval ships that honor gay and Black Americans “Pro-Weakness” (read: Pro-Hatred).

After an upset constituent told Joni Ernst people will die from the GOP’s plan to cut Medicaid spending, the Iowa Senator chucked and said, “We’re all going to die.” (Some constituents may be sending the same message to Ernst’s 2026 re-election campaign.)

The Trump administration is cutting grants to liberal cities like San Francisco because the city is too woke (and they’d rather it be too broke) while Texas wants to place the Ten Commandments in every public-school classroom, changing the state’s slogan from “Don’t Mess With Texas” to “Don’t Mess With White Christian Nationalism.” 

ox News co-host Jeanine Pirro was sworn in as interim U.S. attorney in Washington, DC and the government announced that COVID-19 vaccines are no longer necessary for healthy pregnant women and children. (Somewhere Rod Serling is wincing.) 

Donald Trump sent out a Memorial Day message on social media that had fallen soldiers spinning in their graves while his West Point commencement address had cadets wishing they had gone into the aluminum siding business.

Donald Trump hosted a swanky dinner for the top investors of his meme coin—none of whom were identified so no one knows if he was grifting as president or for himself—while Greenland gave access to its mineral mine shafts to a Danish-French group, shafting Trump in the process.

House Republicans are looking to slash nearly one trillion dollars from Medicaid and food stamps in their quest to screw poor people who voted for them while the DOJ contends providing federal oversight to police departments that violate the rights of African Americans is a violation of their rights to be racist.

After Walmart said prices may rise to compensate for high tariffs, Trump told them to eat the tariffs so poor Americans would be able to buy groceries (and not have to eat their cats and dogs) while Moody’s downgraded its U.S. credit rating because the debt was too bloated (and couldn’t be fixed by ingesting Gas-X).