The Trump administration is cutting grants to liberal cities like San Francisco because the city is too woke (and they’d rather it be too broke) while Texas wants to place the Ten Commandments in every public-school classroom, changing the state’s slogan from “Don’t Mess With Texas” to “Don’t Mess With White Christian Nationalism.” 

ox News co-host Jeanine Pirro was sworn in as interim U.S. attorney in Washington, DC and the government announced that COVID-19 vaccines are no longer necessary for healthy pregnant women and children. (Somewhere Rod Serling is wincing.) 

Donald Trump sent out a Memorial Day message on social media that had fallen soldiers spinning in their graves while his West Point commencement address had cadets wishing they had gone into the aluminum siding business.

Donald Trump hosted a swanky dinner for the top investors of his meme coin—none of whom were identified so no one knows if he was grifting as president or for himself—while Greenland gave access to its mineral mine shafts to a Danish-French group, shafting Trump in the process.

House Republicans are looking to slash nearly one trillion dollars from Medicaid and food stamps in their quest to screw poor people who voted for them while the DOJ contends providing federal oversight to police departments that violate the rights of African Americans is a violation of their rights to be racist.

After Walmart said prices may rise to compensate for high tariffs, Trump told them to eat the tariffs so poor Americans would be able to buy groceries (and not have to eat their cats and dogs) while Moody’s downgraded its U.S. credit rating because the debt was too bloated (and couldn’t be fixed by ingesting Gas-X).

Donald Trump is ecstatic that his face is on a banner hanging outside the Department of Agriculture building next to one of Abraham Lincoln (barf bags are available inside) while Republicans are outraged that former FBI director James Comey wants Trump assassinated. (Comey didn’t say that but when has the GOP been interested in facts?)

Donald Trump plans to lift economic sanctions on Syria in exchange for allowing him to set up thousands of Trump Falafel stands while Robert Kennedy, Jr. said taking his grandchildren swimming in a contaminated creek was safer than getting the measles vaccine.

Donald Trump is willing to accept a gift of a super luxury jumbo jet to replace Air Force One from the royal family of Qatar (a clear violation of the Emoluments Clause) while accepting white refugees from South Africa and not Black refugees from Sudan. Is anyone surprised?

After the first American pope was elected—one who has been critical of the administration’s immigration policies—Donald Trump posted that the Holy Father doesn't always know best. Then he hired Fox News’ Judge Jeanine Pirro to be interim U.S. attorney in Washington, DC, a move that sent Lady Justice into cardiac arrest.