A safe relationship is different from a good relationship because a safe person is different from a good person. When we experience good relationships with good people, we are influenced by their goodness, but often it is the kind of "good" that's evident because of their success. They have good jobs, make a good salary, drive a good car, and wear the latest "good" shoes. When we experience safe relationships with safe people, we are influenced by the way they care for themselves and others and the way they let others care for them, too. Safe people help us grow. They can help us heal and mature. Mature people don't struggle to be good, but immature people who make good money sometimes struggle to show they care for themselves or others. If you're a child in a home with good parents who aren't well equipped to care, your maturity is going to be stunted at the level of their immaturity, no matter how good your grades are or how many points you score in your next tournament. Join us for a conversation about
THE CURE & Parents, a great book about the power of safe relationships in our own homes. Linger in these takeaways -
- "Whether we are reacting to our parents, planning to be parents, overwhelmed at being parents, or learning to stand with our kids as they now parent, we need to know there is a way home. A way to be convinced God is in the middle of every stage of our family."
- Maturity happens when we abide in secure relationships, not by trying to be good all the time. In the moments when shame is most painful for our children, we get the opportunity to show up as their ally instead of their enemy.
- "When your children are young, being the parent carries enough control to handle them. But if you don't grow up as they grow older, your immaturity will stunt their maturity at the level of your own. And no measure of control can handle that."
We mention these resources in this episode -
- Big news!!! LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts are now available on dicksonthreads.com. Thank you to our new friends who are donating a portion of their profits from the merch on the Love Is Fearless page of their website to help support John 15 Academy. Go check it out, y'all!
- THE CURE and Parents by John and Stacey Lynch, Grace and Bill Thrall, and Bruce and Janet McNicol.
- Support John 15 Academy by visiting john15academy.com/support