The Art of We

112. Practicing Mutuality: Relational Agreements for Healing Cultural Conditioning


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In this episode, Krista and Will Van Derveer dive into the power of relational agreements and how they help couples navigate cultural conditioning, power dynamics, and historical wounds. They share their personal journey of creating a partnership built on mutuality and responsibility—key ingredients for a thriving, purpose-driven relationship. Tune in for insights on how agreements can foster growth, repair, and deeper connection in your own relationship.

“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

(00:00) Introduction: Why mutuality and cultural conditioning matter in relationships

(02:15) The origin of their relational agreements and how they became wedding vows

(06:45) Why agreements are essential for navigating challenges and preventing resentment

(09:30) Overcoming gendered conditioning: Housework, emotional labor, and sharing responsibility

(14:20) Personal reflections: How past wounds shape relational dynamics

(18:45) The power of speaking up: Creating a safe space for emotional expression

(22:15) How agreements help rewrite the stories we carry from past relationships

(26:40) Practical steps: How to start creating mutual agreements with your partner

(30:20) Conversation prompts: How to surface unspoken dynamics and unmet needs

(35:00) Final thoughts: The importance of evolving agreements as relationships grow

Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!


Resources Mentioned: 

  • Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 

Get in Touch: 

  • The Art Of We Website
  • The Art of We Instagram 
  • Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training

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The Art of WeBy Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

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