When emotions run high in marriage, one of the most common traps couples fall into is what to do with each other’s feelings. Should you validate them? Should you challenge them? Or should you just offer a quick solution so you can move on?

The truth is when emotional validation is missing or misunderstood, small hurts linger, conflicts spiral, and one or both partners can end up feeling dismissed, forced into solutions, or left unresolved. It’s also one of the biggest complaints we hear from spouses…”you’re not validating my feelings!” 

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why couples often confuse validation with agreement

• The hidden ways spouses accidentally invalidate each other

• Why solutions don’t stick if this piece is missing

• What actually creates the safety to collaborate, repair, and move forward together

If you’ve ever wondered “Am I supposed to validate even when I don’t agree?”—this conversation is for you. Because the order in which you respond to your partner’s emotions might be the very thing that determines whether you stay stuck… or actually grow closer.

Also, register for our LIVE + FREE Marriage WebClass coming up on: The 5 Root Causes of Conflict and Disconnection…and the Tools to Overcome Them! 

Register For The Webclass HERE 👈

After our recent intimacy series, there were dozens of follow up questions from you all asking us to dive further into normal hormonal changes as we age and proactive steps you can take to age gracefully AND stay connected through the changes. 

In this episode, double board-certified physician Dr. Amy Shah (women’s health & nutrition) joins us to bust the “dad bod/mom bod is just aging” myth—and lay out practical, evidence-informed steps couples can use to sleep better, reduce stress, protect libido, and stay united through perimenopause, menopause, and men’s steady testosterone decline.

In This Episode You’ll Learn:

-Why “dad bod/mom bod” is more about habits + hormones than age

-The gut–brain–hormone loop that impacts mood, energy & attraction

-How to time difficult conversations around the cycle (and when not to)

-The midlife health stack: movement, strength, sprinting, nutrition, sleep

-Alcohol & hormones: why a 30–90 day break can be a game-changer

-Men’s testosterone: fix root causes before quick fixes

-Labs that matter (and why symptoms often beat hormone numbers)

-The updated science on HRT for women—and when to consider it

-“Gray divorce”: how to adapt as a team through this season

About Our Guest:

Dr. Amy Shah is a double board-certified MD and nutritionist focused on the gut-brain connection, women’s health, and fitness medicine. Through AmyMD Wellness, books, speaking, and social channels, she helps people take control of their wellness with practical, research-backed tools.

Resource Links:

• Dr. Amy Shah: IG @dramymd • TikTok @dramymd • Website: amymdwellness.com

• Our most-used marriage tools & guides: meetthefreemans.com/links

• Work with us / in-person Couples Workshop Oct 5th (AZ): meetthefreemans.com/workshop

If this helped, tap 👍 + Subscribe for weekly tools to communicate better, de-escalate faster, and feel closer—through every season.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed:

02:34 Welcome + why we brought Dr. Amy on this topic

03:43 Health ↔ marriage: stress, cortisol, sleep & conflict

05:10 Listener question: attraction & a partner’s “dad bod”

06:04 Why “dad/mom bod” isn’t inevitable—habits + hormones

07:35 What healthy aging actually looks like (mindset matters)

08:58 The study: reversing heart age over 2 years (plan overview)

10:59 Modeling vs. nagging your partner’s health

12:21 Women 30s–50s: perimenopause basics & early signs

14:01 Energy, sleep, gut changes & libido shifts

15:23 Estrogen vs. progesterone—“two sisters” in your brain

19:00 Don’t make big decisions late-luteal; timing tough talks

23:03 Men’s testosterone: steady decline & root-cause fixes

26:40 Alcohol & hormones: realistic targets + try a break

29:41 Movement, nutrition & why sleep is #1

32:07 Should couples go to bed at the same time?

33:04 Labs that matter; why symptoms often beat hormone levels

35:01 HRT for women (updated science) & considerations for men

37:50 “Gray divorce,” shifting tolerance & communicating needs

41:16 Adapting habits together to age gracefully as a team

44:23 Where to find Dr. Amy + wrap

Are we getting too self-focused in marriage? In this episode, we unpack the cultural messages that push hyper-individualism (“fill your cup first”) and show why great marriages are actually built on mutual care, not solo self-care. We talk about healthy vs. overcorrected boundaries, why prosocial actions (doing good for your partner) boost your own mood, how to shift from short-term impulses to a long-term family vision, and practical ways to “out-love” each other in daily life.

What you’ll learn from this episode: 

• The trap of “me first” and how it quietly erodes connection
• Mutual care vs. self-care (and why you can’t get to 100% alone)
• Boundaries that protect vs. boundaries that avoid
• A neuroscience-backed reason to give more (and feel better)
• How shared vision → shared sacrifice → shared joy
• Simple ways to prioritize your partner without losing yourself

If this helped, drop a comment with your biggest takeaway, hit 👍, and subscribe so you never miss an episode. Reviews seriously help—thank you for taking a moment to rate the show!

Explore all our resources (Couples Workshop, 30-Day Challenges, guides & more): meetthefreemans.com/links

Episode Timestamps of What We Discussed: 

0:00 Love is a commitment (not just a feeling)

1:15 Intro & topic: Are spouses becoming too selfish?

2:41 The myth of “self first,” then the relationship

5:38 Mutual care over self-care (why you can’t get to 100% alone)

9:31 Study: prosocial acts boost mood & connection

11:48 Boundaries: healthy vs the overcorrection

14:05 F1 analogy — from beginner rules to mastery standards

17:47 Culture: hyper-individualism & consumerism in relationships

20:54 Shift to long-term vision (let the future guide today)

22:30 Family values & the erosion of the family-oriented model

28:24 Why media rarely tells you what truly strengthens marriage

30:01 Interdependence & “out-loving” each other

31:25 Choosing your partner’s needs: practical examples

32:46 Main takeaways & reminders

33:38 Love = commitment + shared vision

34:54 Closing: reviews, subscribe

35:12 Resources & sign-off

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction.

But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger.

In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents.

Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.

Relationship Resources:

In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again.

Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links

👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.

Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss:

0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples

3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision

9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other

15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team

25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage

32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels

39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt)

47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue

53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics

59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson

1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy

1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

What keeps couples united through all the ups and downs? A shared vision. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, we break down why having a vision together is essential, how to define your values as a couple, and the practical steps to keep you connected in both everyday life and during challenges.

Whether you’re in a hard season or just feeling stuck in routine, your vision as a couple is what pulls you out of the mundane and gives deeper meaning to your marriage.

In this episode you will hear:

-Why self-focus leads to more negativity (and how vision shifts that)

-The 4 steps to creating a shared vision for your marriage and family

-How values guide tough choices around career, parenting, and money

-Ways to connect daily life back to your bigger purpose together

-How to turn challenges into growth and strengthen your bond long-term

👉 Ready to reignite your intimacy and spark? Our Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is only open 3x a year—don’t miss this round. Join here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a comment, and write us a quick review—it means the world to us and helps more couples find the podcast!

Timestamps of Episode: 0:00 – Why self-focus increases negativity 0:18 – How vision helps you think beyond yourself 0:34 – The danger of losing sight of your shared values 0:47 – Making hard choices aligned with your vision 1:00 – Looking back on challenges with pride 1:19 – Welcome + episode introduction 1:55 – Why vision bonds couples from the beginning 2:14 – Losing sight of “why” in everyday life 2:38 – Announcement: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 3:18 – Why vision is collaborative and long-term 3:40 – The psychology of self-consciousness & negative emotion 4:23 – How lack of vision creates conflict cycles 4:39 – Seeing hard seasons in the bigger picture 5:18 – Finding meaning even in the mundane days 6:26 – Step 1: Moving from present pain to future vision 7:52 – How vision brings relief and peace 9:09 – Parenting example: values guiding hard choices 10:17 – Step 2: Defining higher values and purpose 11:25 – Career choices and money vs. vision 12:37 – Step 3: Creating a simple, memorable vision statement 13:47 – Aligning vision with values, actions, and results 15:29 – Expanding your vision beyond your family 16:06 – Vision boards and visual reminders 16:29 – Step 4: Connecting present challenges back to vision 17:09 – Real parenting example from our daughter 18:43 – Seeing challenges as stepping stones to vision 19:29 – Simple reflection questions for couples 20:18 – The Hero’s Journey and your marriage 20:38 – Looking back on challenges with pride and strength 21:07 – Who you want to become vs. what you want to achieve 21:59 – Why connection is the most fulfilling outcome 22:22 – Final reminder: Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 23:16 – Closing encouragement + subscribe & review

Marriage after kids can feel like survival mode. Once out of the immediate chaos, it can settle into a state of function. Between diapers, school runs, shuttling to sports practices, your work, and endless to-do lists at home, it’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t just thrive on how well you care for them—they thrive on how connected YOU are as a couple.

In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, Jocelyn & Aaron (“The Freemans”) share practical, real-life ways to stay emotionally and physically connected after kids. You’ll learn how to move beyond just “functioning” as roommates and bring back fulfillment, intimacy, and spark in your marriage before it’s too late.

If you’ve ever felt the distance growing, this conversation will give you hope and concrete steps you can implement today.

From this episode you’ll walk away with:

• How to make daily emotional check-ins that go beyond “How was your day?”
• Why non-sexual touch matters (and how to bring it back without pressure)
• Simple ways to make family dinners and daily routines bonding moments
• How to prioritize weekly and yearly quality time as a couple
• Why your kids benefit most when YOU thrive together

Don’t just survive marriage after kids—reignite the connection that makes everything else in family life easier. Not only is this for your own satisfaction, but critical for what you then model to your kids. 

Want to reignite the spark and feel truly connected again? Join the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge—a proven path to bring back emotional closeness, intimacy, and joy in your marriage. Enrollment only opens a few times per year, so don’t miss this round: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best 👈

If This Episode Resonated, Don’t Forget to:

-Subscribe for weekly episodes

-Leave a rating & review to support the show

-Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement

Episode Topics Timestamp:

00:08 – Why putting your relationship on the back burner hurts your kids too

00:09:50 – The emotional wall couples feel after building the “dream life”

00:10:38 – Why dissatisfaction peaks around the 10-year mark (and how to avoid it)

00:13:37 – Connection is what makes parenting and life easier

00:14:00 – Step 1: Daily emotional check-ins (not just logistics)

00:19:18 – Step 2: Non-sexual touch & physical affection

00:23:59 – Why kids need to SEE your love, not just receive it

00:25:02 – Special edition: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge

00:28:11 – Step 3: Make family dinners intentional & device-free

00:32:57 – Step 4: Weekly marriage nights (beyond TV time)

00:34:44 – Step 5: Yearly getaways & bucket list adventures together

00:37:24 – The danger of drifting apart slowly

00:39:34 – Kids notice everything—why your marriage is their model

00:41:26 – Final encouragement & invitation to reignite your spark

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected. 

In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart.

In this episode you’ll hear:

-A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently

-The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire

-Why intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and environmental

-How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido

-Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age

This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy?

👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Timeline of what we discuss in this episode: 

00:00 – A real confession: “I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…”

00:21 – The real problem isn’t desire changing—it’s not talking about it

00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast

01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause

02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence)

02:52 – Don’t compare to the past—it’s not the same anymore

03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire

04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts?

05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging

06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes

07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive

08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we’ve faced

09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido

10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women

11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction

12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too

13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire

14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido

15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms

16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us)

17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year

18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained

20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous

22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns

23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention

24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure

25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what’s changed

26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you’re wired now, not then

27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency

28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart

29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge

29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review

Is it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade.

In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again.

We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life.

Topics we cover in this episode:

-Emotional disconnection vs desire

-Why frequency isn’t the real issue

-How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy

-Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again

Relationship resources:

Ready to reconnect and reignite the spark? Join our 30-Day Special Edition Couples Challenge — The Best of Us (only open 3x a year):

👉 https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best

🎧 Subscribe for more non-boring marriage advice:

New episodes weekly to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and stay on the SAME TEAM.

Episode timestamps:

00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore

00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection

01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency

02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion

03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation

05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships

06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back)

07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire

08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion

10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long?

11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts

12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy

13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey)

14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you?

15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter

15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence

17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire

19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy

20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom

21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter

23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire

25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency

26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today?

27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom

29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too

30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy

31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness

32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this

33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected

33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead.

34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode

Attraction in marriage doesn’t just disappear overnight, but it can fade through the habits, energy, and unspoken patterns you fall into over time.

In this episode, we reveal the biggest emotional and physical turn-offs (and turn-ons) based on anonymous submissions from real couples. This episode is for couples who want to feel that spark again—without needing to go back to the beginning.

In this episode you will hear:

• What’s quietly draining desire in your relationship
• Five patterns that slowly erode attraction
• How to reignite emotional connection and physical intimacy—without pressure or perfection

Plus, learn how to take small daily actions with the 30-Day Best of Us Intimacy Challenge (sign ups officially open now - only available 3x/year)

Reignite emotional & physical intimacy through small, meaningful actions by starting this September 1st challenge here 👉 mycoupleschallenge.com/best

Episode Time Stamps: 

3:54 – Attraction in marriage takes effort

5:34 – How attraction quietly erodes

6:06 – Biggest turn-offs (survey results)

7:23 – Biggest turn-ons (survey results)

8:54 – Turn-offs women report most

10:18 – Turn-offs men report most

11:28 – Average satisfaction score (2.07 out of 5!)

12:25 – Criticism vs appreciation

15:12 – Physical self-care and energy

19:25 – The roommate dynamic

24:30 – Resentment is blocking desire

28:00 – Emotional shutdown erodes intimacy

30:33 – Rebuilding intimacy from now, not the past

31:39 – Energy you bring to the room

32:50 – Making your partner feel admired

35:33 – Refreshing rituals to spark attraction

37:00 – Timing matters: don’t wait till exhaustion

38:00 – Join The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge