Marriage Therapy Radio

Zach and Laura reflect on significant milestones and life lessons. Laura shares her journey of completing the New York Marathon, weaving in lessons about endurance, self-discovery, and how the physical demands of a marathon parallel the emotional effort required in relationships. Zach celebrates four years of sobriety, reflecting on how his journey has reshaped his relationships, health, and mindset.

The episode dives into themes of personal growth, resilience, and navigating difficult phases in life. Zach recites a favorite poem about marathons, illustrating how breaking down challenges into smaller, manageable parts can lead to long-term success. Laura reflects on her recent decision to quit alcohol, sharing the impact it has had on her physical and mental health, as well as her desire to model positive habits for her family. Together, they explore how embracing hard things—like running a marathon or choosing sobriety—can create space for joy, clarity, and meaningful connections.

The conversation also touches on the value of support systems, including friendships and therapy, and how intentional choices can lead to lasting positive change.

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Zach and Laura welcome relationship expert and mental health advocate Allison Raskin. They dive into her latest book, I Do, I Think: Conversations About Modern Marriage, exploring how marriage and commitment have evolved in today’s society. Allison shares insights into the “modern marriage,” discussing how relationships have shifted from traditional roles to more flexible, individual-focused commitments.

Allison opens up about her personal journey, including her past engagement and recent marriage, which shaped her views on love and relationships. She reflects on the importance of balancing individual needs within a partnership, the dynamics of choosing marriage when it’s no longer societally mandatory, and how to handle changes in relationship expectations. Together, they discuss concepts like emotional regulation, and how the flexibility of “modern marriage” allows for more intentional choices about commitment.

The conversation also covers different relationship models, such as non-monogamy, financial independence within marriage, and the significance of setting boundaries that meet each partner’s needs. Allison highlights the role of mental health in relationships and shares her journey from comedy to mental health advocacy. They wrap up with a fun chat about her YouTube channel and podcast, Just Between Us, which she co-hosts, and her Substack newsletter, Emotional Support Lady.

To explore more about Allison Raskin’s work, visit https://www.allisonraskin.com/, check out her latest book I Do, I Think here, and tune into her podcast Just Between Us https://www.youtube.com/c/JustBetweenUs.

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Zach’s shares his pedicure obsession. Laura has a rousing night with a bunch of Cathys at the senior center. 

After Laura attended Zach's Relationship Boot Camp she has questions about the concept of a Core Negative Image (CNI) and how it affects relationships. Zach and Laura unpack how each partner’s perceptions, often rooted in past experiences or insecurities, can lead to exaggerated negative views of one another, especially during periods of stress.

They also discuss rituals for client sessions, with Laura emphasizing the importance of taking responsibility for actions and acknowledging positive efforts, helping clients shift from criticism to affirmation.

Sponsor:

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/MTR50

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Zach shares of his first-time experience with Dungeons and Dragons. Laura is looking forward to a murder mystery party. 

They then explore the dynamics of acknowledging and meeting your partner's expressed needs, using a story from Laura’s therapy practice as a springboard to discuss the significance of understanding each other's boundaries and preferences.

Zach and Laura examine the role of emotional responses in relationships, particularly around anger and justified reactions. They emphasize the importance of differentiating between feeling attacked and being attacked, highlighting how trauma and personal history can sometimes cause a partner to perceive threats where none exist. They also discuss the concept of “getting big” to protect oneself and how trauma work—especially body-focused approaches—can aid in emotional regulation.

The episode concludes with reflections on long-term commitment, the value of patience in relational healing, and the realities of navigating relationships with a trauma-affected partner. They end on a light note, inviting listeners to explore their Patreon for bonus content, including personal stories and Zach’s book club.

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Laura has her first snow of the year, and on her morning run no less. Zach thanks you for listening and shares his admiration for another podcaster. 

They transition into a great conversation about how partners can communicate and take responsibility in meeting each other’s needs.

Laura shares a personal story about her relationship with her husband, Ryan, highlighting the tension that arises when Ryan commits to activities, like golf trips, without considering the impact on family time. This sparks a larger conversation about how partners can navigate commitments and balance personal interests with family responsibilities. They explore the concept of taking responsibility in a relationship, with Zach emphasizing the importance of reporting back to your partner about how you’re honoring their requests and commitments.

Zach and Laura also discuss the role of empathy and how partners can preemptively check in on each other's feelings and needs. They reflect on how simple acts, like acknowledging a partner’s feelings or proactively addressing concerns, can prevent conflicts from escalating. The episode offers practical insights into how couples can take small but meaningful steps to improve communication and build trust.

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Zach and Laura kick off this episode with some fun banter about Laura's outfit and a Zoom-themed party Zach attended with their mutual friend. They quickly shift gears to discuss the feedback they’ve been receiving from long-time listeners. With heartfelt messages from those who’ve listened to every episode, they reflect on the value their show has brought to people’s lives. Zach asks: How has listening to every episode of Marriage Therapy Radio impacted your life or relationships?

Laura shares a realization of how powerful affirmation can be, whether it’s with a spouse, children, or even teachers greeting students. This leads to her marriage tip of the day: Affirm someone today.

Zach and Laura dive into a TV show they've been watching, Nobody Wants This, which sparks a rich discussion about the dynamics of vulnerability, communication, and relationships depicted in the show. They explore themes of openness, accepting influence, and navigating the tension between personal identity and compromise within relationships. Zach relates moments from the show to real-life relationship dynamics, offering insights on how viewers can learn from the fictional couple’s journey.

Episode Highlights:

Join the Conversation:

Zach and Laura invite you to reach out if the podcast has impacted your relationships or if you’ve found certain episodes particularly meaningful. They also encourage you to check out Nobody Wants This and watch it through the lens of relationship growth.

Sponsor:

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/MTR50

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach and Laura kick off this episode with some fun banter about Laura's outfit and a Zoom-themed party Zach attended with their mutual friend. They quickly shift gears to discuss the feedback they’ve been receiving from long-time listeners. With heartfelt messages from those who’ve listened to every episode, they reflect on the value their show has brought to people’s lives. Zach asks: How has listening to every episode of Marriage Therapy Radio impacted your life or relationships?

Laura shares a realization of how powerful affirmation can be, whether it’s with a spouse, children, or even teachers greeting students. This leads to her marriage tip of the day: Affirm someone today.

Zach and Laura dive into a TV show they've been watching, Nobody Wants This, which sparks a rich discussion about the dynamics of vulnerability, communication, and relationships depicted in the show. They explore themes of openness, accepting influence, and navigating the tension between personal identity and compromise within relationships. Zach relates moments from the show to real-life relationship dynamics, offering insights on how viewers can learn from the fictional couple’s journey.

Episode Highlights:

Join the Conversation:

Zach and Laura invite you to reach out if the podcast has impacted your relationships or if you’ve found certain episodes particularly meaningful. They also encourage you to check out Nobody Wants This and watch it through the lens of relationship growth.

Sponsor:

Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/MTR50

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Zach and Laura celebrate a special milestone—seven years of Marriage Therapy Radio. They kick things off with some lighthearted banter about their journey, joking about sending out autographed glamour shots. From there, they dive into a listener email from a woman navigating an in-home separation from her husband, who she suspects may be engaging in secretive behavior.

They explore the complexities of separation, emphasizing the importance of clear boundaries, purpose, and communication. Whether you're in a separation or just curious, Zach and Laura share insights on how separation can lead to healing or more confusion, depending on how it’s handled. Zach raises concerns about secretive behavior, like hiding phone activity, often being a signal of deeper issues, and they give practical advice on addressing distrust in relationships.

They also talk about the value of having a separation agreement, with clear guidelines for how you’ll navigate this period. Laura encourages you to trust your gut when something feels "off", and approach the situation with curiosity rather than accusations. Zach reminds you that taking leadership by setting expectations and boundaries can help reestablish trust and connection.

Episode Highlights:

Join the Conversation:

If you have a relationship question or a story to share, Zach and Laura would love to hear from you. You can send in your questions for future episodes! Also, check out the upcoming online Relational Life Therapy Boot Camp that Zach will be co-leading. More details are available on the Marriage Therapy Radio website.

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Laura shares her pride in completing a triathlon and Zach chimes in with his marathon experiences. The discussion transitions into deeper relationship topics, focusing on how to apologize effectively and, just as importantly, how to receive an apology.

Zach emphasizes that successful relationships are not just about knowing how to apologize, but also about knowing how to accept a partner’s apology. They explore common pitfalls in apologizing, such as using the word “but,” and highlight how defensiveness can block genuine repair efforts.

The hosts reference the work of Harriet Lerner and her book Why Won’t You Apologize? to guide their discussion on the do’s and don’ts of apologizing. Key points include avoiding justification in apologies, focusing on one’s own actions, and not using an apology to manipulate or silence a partner’s feelings. They conclude with reflections on the importance of patience and openness, particularly when building trust and navigating long-term emotional injuries.

Episode Highlights:

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Laura finds out how Zach did hanging out with her family over the weekend.  Zach shares his struggle between choosing a trendy neighborhood or staying in a corporate setting, leading into a conversation about how environments can affect work and client experiences.

They then discuss relational boundaries and the concept of outsourcing emotional needs. Laura explains how people often put too much pressure on their partner to fulfill all their emotional needs, advocating instead for "outsourcing" some emotional support to friends, therapists, or family members—when done with mutual consent. Zach and Laura also reflect on the pressures partners can feel when they are expected to meet specific needs, especially around physical and emotional intimacy.

They share a couple of sneak peek clips of the new, Patreon exclusive series, So I Married a Relationship Expert.

Episode Highlights:

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