One of the fastest ways intimacy erodes in marriage is through assumption.

We assume our spouse knows what we need.
We assume they understand how we feel.
We assume love means they should just “get it.”

But marriage doesn’t work on mind-reading as we have talked about before, it works on communication.

When we assume things, we stop asking questions. And when we stop asking questions, we stop truly knowing our spouse. Over time, those assumptions turn into unmet expectations, and unmet expectations almost always lead to frustration, resentment, or emotional distance.

Dr. John Gottman, one of the leading marriage researchers, talks about “bids for connection” the small moments where one spouse reaches out for attention, affection, or understanding. When those bids are ignored, often because of assumptions, couples slowly drift apart. 

Assumptions also damage sexual intimacy. When one spouse assumes rejection, disinterest, or “now’s not a good time,” desire goes unspoken. Silence replaces vulnerability. And eventually, intimacy feels awkward or distant, not because love is gone, but because communication is.

In this episode, Nick and Amy talk about how making assumptions or assuming things in marriage can crate a lot of disconnect and conflict.

Healthy marriages don’t assume. They ask.
They clarify.
They check in.
They choose conversation over silence.

Because love isn’t proven by how well you guess, it’s proven by how well you listen.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.

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In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy break down how couples can stop “trying harder” and start creating real, lasting change in their marriage and good marriage goals couples should set for 2026 to help them find Ultimate Intimacy in their relationship.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In many marriages, the higher-desire spouse ends up being the one who always initiates sex. Over time, that dynamic can leave the lower desire spouse feeling pressured, and the higher-desire spouse feeling unwanted or unseen.

But here’s the truth: when the lower-desire spouse initiates, it can be incredibly powerful. It communicates love, desire, safety, and “you matter to me” in a way words alone never could.

In this episode, Amy and Nick dive into 12 fun, flirty, and confidence-boosting ways the lower-desire spouse can initiate sex with a higher-desire spouse. They also share why sexual intimacy matters so deeply in marriage, and why initiative from the lower-desire spouse can be a total game-changer for connection, trust, and emotional closeness.

If you want more passion, more playfulness, and a stronger bond in your marriage, then this episode is for you. 🔥

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

*This podcast was recorded a few years ago and is a re-run. 

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In most marriages (whether done intentionally or unintentionally), the lower desire spouse typically has complete control and say so when it comes to sex. They determine "if" a couple is going to have sex, "when" they are going to have sex, and everything related to sex in the relationship. 

Many husbands have expressed to us that they are the higher desire spouse and are scared to initiate sex with their wife for fear of rejection, having it cause an argument or conflict, and many other reasons. Because of this, and the fact that most women have a responsive desire style, many couples are not connecting sexually in their relationship (and often living in sexless marriages, or close to) because sex in the marriage is typically up to the wife.

In this podcast episode Nick and Amy discuss the reasons why this is, and how couples can work together to find a balance in their sexual intimacy and relationship where both spouses needs and desires are being met, and sex is something that both spouses have mutual respect and control over in the relationship.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

*This episode was recorded and published a few years ago and we released it again.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we (Nick and Amy) sit down with world-renowned author and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman, best known for The 5 Love Languages. With over 20 million copies sold and translations in more than 50 languages, Dr. Chapman has helped millions of couples transform their relationships.

We talk with Gary about why it’s so vital to know and speak each other’s love languages, how to keep your spouse's “love tank” full, and why listening to understand, not just to respond, can transform your marriage. He also shares insights on staying curious, asking meaningful questions, and creating deeper emotional connection.

This is a must-listen episode for any couple who wants to grow closer, communicate better, and truly transform their marriage.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Even the strongest couples can fall into trap of making "common" mistakes that can slowly erode connection and intimacy. These mistakes often happen when we get complacent and think things are going well. 

In this episode, Nick and Amy share the top mistakes couples make, and the practical steps they used to rebuild trust and strengthen their own marriage. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this episode is packed with insights, stories, and actionable advice to help you grow closer and keep your relationship thriving.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

How often do you tell yourself, or hear from your spouse the phrase "I will try harder" and things never seem to get better? Things don't get better just by trying... you have to have a game plan and start doing.

In this very impactful episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we interview Nate Whitson where he reveals how to finally stop "trying" and actually start "doing" when it comes to breaking bad habits in your marriage, or in your personal life. He share the 4 things you can start doing that actually work!

1. Make Bad Habits Invisible

Nate breaks down how reshaping your environment weakens temptation instantly. When a habit is out of sight, it loses its power.

2. Make Them Unattractive

Learn how to rewire the way you see your habits so they lose their appeal. A simple mindset shift can turn old patterns from comforting to unwanted.

3. Make Them Difficult

Friction works! Discover how adding small obstacles to harmful behaviors slows them down and gives you space to choose something better.

4. Make Them Unsatisfying

Bad habits stick because they reward you. We show you how to flip the reward system and create accountability and positive payoffs that strengthen your relationship.

If there are some bad habits in your marriage, or in life, this episode can be a game changer for you!

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Is your daily life starting to feel like a copy-paste loop? Wake up, work, errands, dishes, Netflix, sleep and repeat? Feeling like the movie ground hog day? Do you feel bored in your life and marriage. You’re not alone, MANY couples feel this exact same way. 

In this episode of the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, we dive into a wonderfully practical and hope-filled conversation based on a fantastic blog article written by our good friend Nate Klemp, co-author of The 80/80 Marriage.

Whether you’re juggling kids, jobs, carpools, and clutter… or you’re just noticing each day blending into the next. Instead of escaping domestic life or chasing constant thrill, he offers two simple but transformative ideas: little novelty and happy boredom.

This episode is honest, relatable, and full of small shifts that can make a big difference in your connection as a couple. 

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

Are you unknowingly putting your marriage on hold while you pour everything into parenting? In this episode of The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, Nick and Amy break down the 7 signs that your kids may be taking priority over your relationship.

Are your decisions centered around your kids’ schedules and activities?
Do date nights rarely happen because you’re “too busy”?
Do you feel guilty spending time alone together even though it hardly ever happens?
Is there no time or energy left for your spouse at the end of the day?

You’re not alone. So many couples fall into this cycle with the best intentions.

Join us as we share personal insights, real-life examples, and practical ways to reconnect as a couple, while still being incredible parents. Because a strong marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your children, and prioritizing your relationship isn’t selfish… it’s essential.

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!

We have discussed in previous episodes the impact social media and our addictions to our screens is having on our marriages and relationships. In this episode, Nick and Amy interview Nate Klemp who is in the process of writing a new book titled "OPEN: Finding Freedom in a Screen Addicted and Divided World" which was released in 2024. We discuss many of the damaging effects our screens are causing to our marriages and to society. If you want to get a copy of this book, you can find it on the app under products. 

Some of the things we discuss:

• What was the most shocking statistic he came across while researching and writing this book.
• How people are "loosing their freedom" through their screen addiction.
• The ways our society is changing because of our screen addiction.
• What are the ways we can manage our screen addictions.
• How screen addiction is impacting marriages.

As technology and social media is truly taking away our freedom and causing destruction throughout the world, how can we use it for good and not allow it to negatively impact our marriages? Want to find out, then listen to this amazing episode. THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT EPISODES YOU WILL EVER LISTEN TO.

This episode originally aired in 2022, but we felt it is so important and applicable even more so now days, that we wanted to share it again as it is a "must listen" for everyone. 

If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why close to 1M people have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!

Check out the new UandI App we just released after a year in development.

WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE

Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.

If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at [email protected] and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review.

Enjoy the podcast or have some feedback for us? Shoot us a message!