Zach and Annie dive deep into the art of transition, emotional pacing, and connection in long-term relationships. With their signature mix of warmth, honesty, and thoughtful reflection, they explore how couples can move from emotional distance to reconnection—without overwhelming each other.

The episode kicks off with banter about TikToks and volleyball, then shifts into the heart of the matter: how relationships evolve when we learn to slow down, name what's happening inside us, and give our nervous systems time to catch up. Annie introduces the concept of “titration”—a gentle, incremental approach to change—and explains how it can transform conflict, emotional intimacy, and even personal growth in marriage.

They also unpack the meaning behind defensiveness, offer powerful metaphors like “two stump spouses” and “learning how to swim before diving into the deep end,” and share a profound story from Annie’s own marriage about grief, rage, and radical honesty. 

Titration: A Slow Path to Growth

Defensiveness Is a Signal, Not a Flaw

Marriage as a Long Game

The “Two Stumps” Metaphor

• Annie shares a client story: two spouses, emotionally worn down, feel like “stumps.” But even a stump can grow a new tree—if both people are willing to name where they are and choose to rebuild.

Narrating the Inner World to Bridge Emotional Distance

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