We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.

I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.

If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.

This episode is especially helpful if you are:

• Struggling with conflict in your marriage

• Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse

• Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges

• Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage

Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship

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Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here

 

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Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.” 

I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you.

Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today

• Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen

• How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals”

• Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone

• Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy

• A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

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Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?”

After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn’t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one. 

The Money Question

When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask:

• Do you need a hug?

• Do you need help?

• Do you need to be heard?

This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you’re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give.

Episode Highlights:

• Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could.

• Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in!

• Heard: The art of listening – not just hearing – is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond.

A Practical Affirmation:
Here's a simple affirmation you can use: “I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.” Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Ep. 89: “7 Tips to Become a Better Listener”

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

 

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Have you heard of 'ABC Dating'? It's a unique and fun way to keep date nights fresh by building each outing around a different letter of the alphabet. I'm joined in this episode by my friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, as we share personal stories, lots of laughs, and practical advice on how couples can break free from relationship ruts, regardless of budget or time constraints.

From axe throwing in the backyard, to gelato and mini golf, to even tackling game nights at home, you’ll hear how intentional date night planning—even on a tight budget—can spark joy and rekindle connection in any marriage or relationship. The episode also tackles common challenges like financial limitations, busy schedules, and the importance of connecting without distractions (yes, that means putting down your phone).

Whether you’re newly married or celebrating decades together, this episode is packed with inspiration and relatable wisdom for couples hoping to reinvigorate their relationship—one letter at a time.

I truly believe dating is fuel for your marriage, so get ready for creative ideas, heartwarming stories, and lots of encouragement for rebuilding “us” in your marriage!

Key Takeaways: 

Dating isn't just for new couples: Whether it’s ABC Dating or another creative approach, the message is clear: dating isn’t just for new couples. It’s a lifeline for any marriage wanting to grow

Connection must be intentional: Stay connected to your spouse through laughter, spontaneity, and teamwork

Dates don't have to cost a lot: You can have inexpensive and fun times together—times that rejuvenate your relationship and deepen your connection.

Focus on each other, not your phone: Put the phones away, leave the kids with someone you trust, and take time for each other.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more about Sylvia's Thrive Marriage Coaching. 

Get Dana's new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

 

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Do you feel disconnected or emotionally distant from your spouse? You're likely growing apart or feeling apathy in your relationship and want to know how to stop the drift. Today, I'm sharing some key insights and actionable steps to help you start rebuilding connection—even when things feel hopeless or aloof.

I’ll break down the major causes of apathy in marriage and relationships—from emotional wounding and exhaustion to fear and misunderstanding—and I’ll share practical, actionable steps to start rebuilding your connection right now. Whether you’ve taken my scientifically-backed Partner Quiz and scored “apathetically aloof,” or you simply recognize the signs of emotional detachment, you’ll find encouragement and hope in this episode.

I talk about the importance of vulnerability, having hard conversations, and the monumental power of forgiveness in making real progress. You’ll also hear how focusing on reconnection (instead of just fixing problems!) can reignite your emotional intimacy. Plus, I highlight simple resources like my online connection course, designed to fit into busy lives and help you move forward with confidence.

If you’re ready to move away from apathy and toward authentic connection, this episode will give you the tools and motivation to start. Don’t give up on your marriage—there is always a path back to hope and intimacy!

Key Takeaways: 

• Apathy Isn’t the End—It’s a Symptom: If you’re feeling apathetic, it’s often the result of past wounds, exhaustion, or fear. You’re not a bad partner; you’re likely protecting yourself after being hurt.

• Someone Has to Go First: Rebuilding connection takes courage. If you’re listening, “tag, you’re it!” Initiate the conversation. Vulnerability opens the door to marital healing.

• Forgiveness & Intentionality Rekindle Relationships: Focusing on reconnecting (instead of just the problems) and practicing forgiveness can transform your relationship. Go back to the habits and rhythms that made your relationship thrive in the first place.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Take the Partner Quiz to see how connected you really are.

• Sign up for my Connection Course 

• Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples  

Listen, share, and start rebuilding with me—because your marriage can make it!

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Valentine’s Day is almost here, and for many people, this holiday doesn’t always feel like a celebration, especially if you’re feeling disconnected or discouraged. You are definitely not alone—and this episode is packed with practical ideas you may have never considered to help you reconnect on Valentine's Day and beyond.

Here's your cheat code for making Valentine’s Day meaningful, even when times are tough:

1. Lighten the Load with Laughter

2. Spend Time with Your Little Loves

3. Face the Elephant in the Room

4. Do Something Different

5. Love Anyway 

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about big gifts or grand gestures. Remember, it’s the little things. The goal? Intentionally choose connection, even if it’s awkward, imperfect, or different from years before.

Which tip will YOU try this year?
Drop your answer below or DM @MrsDanaChe to share your story! Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a turning point in your marriage. 

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples 

 

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If you're focusing on fixing the emotional or relational problems in your marriage but haven't addressed your spiritual disconnection, your efforts won't go as far or last as long. In today's episode, we're getting to the heart of why so many couples struggle in their marriages.

From my experience coaching couples, I see marriage problems like poor communication or emotional distance are often symptoms of a deeper problem—spiritual disconnection. I believe marriage is about more than just connecting physically or emotionally; it requires an ongoing, strong spiritual bond as well.

There are three main ways we connect in marriage: 

• Physical connection - good, but it isn’t strong enough to sustain a marriage.

• Emotional connection - better, but still incomplete

• Spiritual connection - best...the truest foundation that brings the deepest unity

In order to close the emotional gap in your marriage, you have to build a stronger foundation than feelings alone. 

Key Takeaways: 

• Understanding the cross and how marriage is a reflection of God

• How personal responsibility allows you to become more resilient through trials

• Becoming aware of how distractions keep you away from your real power
• The triangle analogy and why growing closer to God automatically grows you closer to your spouse 

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer

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Do you sometimes struggle with how to pray for your marriage? In today’s episode, I’m breaking down the five powerful ways you can cover your marriage in prayer—and how to actually pray with confidence, intention, and results. Whether you're a seasoned prayer warrior or just starting out, you’ll leave with a super-practical template that makes praying for your spouse simple and heartfelt.

In today’s “sweet repeat,” I guide you through the acronym COVER: Compassion, Oneness, Vigor, Expectation, and Readiness, and show you how to apply each one as you pray over your relationship. Get ready to move beyond the typical “help my spouse have a good day” and into deeper, more meaningful prayers that can transform your connection.

Key Takeaways:

• Why prayer is essential for your marriage: It’s not just about doing all the right things or attending another marriage conference, but about inviting God to truly work in your relationship.
• How COMPASSION sets the tone: Start from a place of humility and empathy, not judgment or resentment.
• The power of ONENESS: Discover how unity in marriage is a living witness to the world and why praying for oneness is so important.
• Why VIGOR matters: Bring energy, enthusiasm, and genuine effort into your prayers, even when you feel weary.
• Praying with EXPECTATION: Approach God believing He hears you and wants to respond to your faith-filled prayers.
• The importance of READINESS: Prayer isn’t a monologue; prepare to hear from God—and be open to what He might ask you to do!

I’ll also share practical prayer topics—like unity, wisdom, protection, strength, resilience, and peace—to help you get started or go deeper in your prayer life.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, is available now! Visit triedandtruemarriagebook.com to grab your copy and get the FREE 5-Day devotional to start you on the right foundation. 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

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It's story time! Come and listen to how an ancient story about Deborah the judge can teach us to break free from traditional gender roles and society's expectations. I’m excited to share an excerpt from my brand-new book, “Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples,” which highlights Deborah's incredible leadership, her secure identity in God, and her husband Lappidoth's quiet strength and support.

Key Takeaways:

• Why women are NOT second-class citizens in God’s kingdom and how our calling matters

• How men can champion their wife’s gifts and leadership without comparison and competition 

• Practical tips on honoring one another’s unique roles, shaking off cultural pressures, and letting your relationships be Spirit-led.

Why You Should Listen: This episode isn’t just for those struggling with gender roles in marriage—it’s an invitation for everyone to reflect on what God has called YOU to do. If you’ve ever felt pressured to fit a certain template or questioned your role, you’ll find comfort, inspiration, and practical encouragement here.

Quick Links:

• Pre-order the book: Triedandtruemarriagebook.com

Purposeful Quote:
“We were created equal in the sight of God. The irrevocable call of God applies to women and men alike.” – Dana Che

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Do you feel emotionally safe in your marriage? Because many couples do not. Emotional connection in marriage isn't just a “nice to have,” but truly a foundational priority for every relationship. Drawing from chapter one of my newest book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, I explore the original couple from the Bible, Adam and Eve, and what their story teaches us about shame, emotional safety, and intimacy.

I walk you through the real reason emotional disconnection happens—even in marriages that appear “just fine” on the outside. Sometimes it’s not a crisis or trauma, but a subtle emotional chasm that grows over time because of unaddressed issues like shame, self-protection, defensiveness, harsh communication, and even minimizing feelings. I share practical, actionable advice—five things to watch for that break down emotional safety, and five intentional ways you can rebuild trust, openness, and genuine intimacy with your spouse.

Key Takeaways:

• Why emotional connectivity is a marriage requirement, not a bonus

• The key differences between boundaries and emotional walls

• How both men and women have a critical need for emotional safety (and why men may keep their guard up)

• The “big five” behaviors that damage emotional safety—including harsh words, defensiveness, minimizing, unforgiveness, and judgment

• Simple but powerful tips to rebuild emotional safety: listening well, asking thoughtful questions, affirming your spouse, and always focusing on your love

• Straightforward actions you can take today—even without a marriage coach—to move your relationship from disconnected to deeply connected

If you’ve ever felt a disconnect in your marriage—even if everything looks good on the outside—this episode is for you. I’m sharing honest reflections, practical advice, and biblical wisdom to help you rebuild emotional safety, intimacy, and lasting connection with your spouse.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more and pre-order my new book, Tried and True

How Your Attachment Style Affects Emotional Connection

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Be sure to subscribe, share this episode with someone who needs it, and pre-order Tried and True at danache.com/triedandtrue to learn even more ways to strengthen your marriage from the inside out!

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

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