We're celebrating our 400th episode and tackling one of the most important topics in marriage—consistency. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling like your efforts to improve your marriage aren’t working or wondered if all those small daily actions really matter, this episode is for you.

Today, I’m sharing my personal journey and my not-so-secret struggle with staying consistent—not just in my marriage, but in life! I’ll walk you through a simple, actionable framework that I created called the CARE acronym (Check-in, Affection, Reassurance, Encouragement) to help you build trust, commitment, and affection in your relationship. I’ll also give practical tips for daily connection, show you how to stay motivated when you don’t see instant results, and explain why the little things you do will eventually transform your marriage.

You’ll hear:

• Why consistency is a game-changer for marriage

• How to use 5-10 minute daily check-ins to reconnect with your spouse

• Simple ways to show affection and reassurance every single day—even if it feels awkward at first

• Real encouragement to keep planting seeds, even when it seems like nothing is changing

• How intentionality transformed my relationship with Shawn after years of inconsistency

Whether you’re newly married or have been together for decades, this episode will equip you with the tools you need to build a stronger, more secure marriage—one small, consistent step at a time. You can create the marriage you want, and I hope this milestone episode inspires you to start today!

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Ep. 394: Do You Need Help, a Hug, or Just to Be Heard? 3 Questions Show Empathy and Care

 

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Do you often get frustrated or maybe even sad because it seems you're the only one working on your marriage? Like, your spouse is "in it," but he/she doesn't seem to take the marriage seriously. You often feel taken for granted, or you feel like you take two steps forward and twelve steps back?

Today's episode is just what you need to hear. This is a sweet repeat (an oldie but goodie)... a listener's question that I answered live on the podcast. 

My answer still holds true. And it will still work for you, too. 

Why You Should Listen? 

You’ll learn how to:

• Change your step in the 'marriage dance'

• Switch your focus 

• Overcome frustration when nothing seems to be working

• Get a new perspective

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Is your relationship recovering from infidelity? Learn about my Infidelity Intensive here.

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As a marriage coach, I know firsthand how unspoken and unrealistic expectations can quietly sabotage even the strongest marriages. In this episode, I'm sharing practical strategies to help you define, communicate, and realign your expectations so you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary disappointment and disconnection.

We'll talk about the five most common unrealistic expectations couples face, including the beliefs that our spouse should never change, should make us happy, or should simply know what we're thinking. I share some of my own personal stories—like how my expectation for Shaun to be the spiritual leader in our home led to unnecessary disappointment and what I learned about the roots of where that specific expectation came from.

You’ll learn how to:

• Get curious together instead of assuming your way is the only way

• Stay flexible and open to growth as both you and your spouse change

• Collaborate and celebrate your unique strengths as a couple

• Let go of the pressure to change each other

• Develop a gratitude mindset for a more joyful marriage

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Get your copy of my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Related episodes: 

• Ep. 126 - How to Create a Marriage Vision
• Ep. 304 - 4 Expectations Every Marriage Should Have

 

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Before you get married, there are several important conversations you need to have. In this episode, I'm sharing 12 emotionally healthy questions every couple should ask before getting married. Whether you’re single, engaged, or already married and just want to build deeper intimacy with your spouse, these conversation starters will help you avoid pitfalls and create a lasting connection in your relationship.

Many people enter marriage with unrealistic expectations and without the preparation they truly need. That's why I'm walking you through twelve powerful questions designed to spark vulnerable conversations—including how to make your partner feel heard, set appropriate boundaries with friends, handle conflict, address emotional wounds, and discover your emotional health meters.

You’ll discover:

• The essential questions to identify what makes you (and your partner) feel loved, valued, and understood

• How to recognize and talk about emotionally unsafe behaviors that can sabotage connection

• The importance of knowing how you and your partner respond to hurt, stress, and burnout—and why you need to see each other at your worst as well as your best before tying the knot

• Strategies for reconnecting after conflict and not taking each other for granted

• Why sharing your dreams, emotional needs, and even moments of sadness can set the stage for greater intimacy and emotional health

I also dive into how friendship dynamics must shift when you get married (yes, even those platonic besties!) and I break down why recognizing your own patterns—and understanding your partner’s—is the foundation for a healthy relationship.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Download my free audio guide, 7 Secret Marriage Rules to Know Before I Do and After I Did
• Grab your copy of my brand new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples.

If you’re engaged, thinking about marriage, or want to refresh and deepen your connection, these 12 questions will transform the way you communicate and understand each other.

 

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We've all heard it said, maybe even said it ourselves—marriage is hard. It's true...marriage, like life, has its seasons. There are winters in marriage, challenging times when things feel cold and bleak. But what if we can reframe that belief? What if instead of seeing marriage as hard work, we saw it as heart work?

In this episode, I break down five reasons your marriage might feel difficult right now, and more importantly, how to fix it. Even good couples go through seasons of tension, frustration, and emotional distance but understanding the root causes of your marriage problems can change everything.

I talk about how communication breakdowns, unmet expectations, unresolved hurt, and emotional disconnection can slowly impact the health of your relationship.

If you want to strengthen your marriage, improve communication, and rebuild intimacy, this episode will help you see what might be happening and where to start.

This episode is especially helpful if you are:

• Struggling with conflict in your marriage

• Feeling emotionally disconnected from your spouse

• Trying to rebuild trust after relationship challenges

• Looking for faith-based encouragement for your marriage

Marriage can be hard at times, but so can nearly everything in life. Ultimately, life is full of choices, including choosing your hard. Maintaining self-control despite challenges or engaging in destructive behaviors are both hard in their own ways. Choose wisely.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode: 

Ep. 288: 7 Traits to Create a More Resilient Relationship

Enter to win the "100 Book Reviews Contest" for Tried and True

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True companion devotional here

 

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Have you been feeling overlooked, devalued, or unseen by your spouse? Does is feel like your marriage is running on autopilot, where someone or something else always seems to take priority over you? What do you do when you feel like you’re coming in second place in your marriage, or as I call it, “playing second fiddle.” 

I open up about with wisdom straight from my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples, specifically taking you into the story of Jacob and Leah from the book of Genesis. If you’ve ever felt undervalued, overlooked, or like you just can't win your spouse’s affection—this episode is for you.

Plus, I'll unpack key conversation starters you can use to reconnect with your spouse and discuss these feelings in a healthy, constructive way. And, I’ll close out with a special prayer to cover you and your marriage.

Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:

• What “playing second fiddle” looks like in marriage today

• Lessons from Jacob and Leah: How God values those who feel unseen

• How insecurity shows up—in-laws, kids, friends, or “ideals”

• Why your worth and purpose can’t come from your spouse alone

• Two powerful conversation starters to cultivate security and intimacy

• A prayer for healing, unity, and renewed value in your marriage

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

 

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Understanding how to offer meaningful support and help to those you love, especially during moments of grief or difficulty, is a skill worth learning. Let's explore the core question everyone should learn to ask: “Do you need a hug? Do you need help? Or do you need to be heard?”

After going through a painful time, I reflect on grief and the unique ways we process pain. Sometimes, the greatest support we can offer someone isn’t advice, but presence. Inspired by a coaching session with one of my clients, I learned three powerful questions that have shaped the way I communicate and the ways in which I offer help. You're going to love this one. 

The Money Question

When someone you love is hurting, pause and ask:

• Do you need a hug?

• Do you need help?

• Do you need to be heard?

This question helps break down emotional barriers and lets your partner, friend, or family member know you’re there for them in the way they need, not just in the way you want to give.

Episode Highlights:

• Hugs: Hugs are healing. There is power in a simple embrace that can build connection and foster safety, sometimes more than words ever could.

• Help: Offering help is about respecting boundaries and waiting until your loved one is ready for advice. Ask before you jump in!

• Heard: The art of listening – not just hearing – is crucial. Learn to ask clarifying questions and listen with empathy to deepen your bond.

A Practical Affirmation:
Here's a simple affirmation you can use: “I am emotionally aware enough to help my [spouse/friend/partner] in their time of need.” Small shifts in how we communicate can make a lasting difference.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Ep. 89: “7 Tips to Become a Better Listener”

Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

 

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Have you heard of 'ABC Dating'? It's a unique and fun way to keep date nights fresh by building each outing around a different letter of the alphabet. I'm joined in this episode by my friend and fellow marriage coach, Sylvia Chipman, as we share personal stories, lots of laughs, and practical advice on how couples can break free from relationship ruts, regardless of budget or time constraints.

From axe throwing in the backyard, to gelato and mini golf, to even tackling game nights at home, you’ll hear how intentional date night planning—even on a tight budget—can spark joy and rekindle connection in any marriage or relationship. The episode also tackles common challenges like financial limitations, busy schedules, and the importance of connecting without distractions (yes, that means putting down your phone).

Whether you’re newly married or celebrating decades together, this episode is packed with inspiration and relatable wisdom for couples hoping to reinvigorate their relationship—one letter at a time.

I truly believe dating is fuel for your marriage, so get ready for creative ideas, heartwarming stories, and lots of encouragement for rebuilding “us” in your marriage!

Key Takeaways: 

Dating isn't just for new couples: Whether it’s ABC Dating or another creative approach, the message is clear: dating isn’t just for new couples. It’s a lifeline for any marriage wanting to grow

Connection must be intentional: Stay connected to your spouse through laughter, spontaneity, and teamwork

Dates don't have to cost a lot: You can have inexpensive and fun times together—times that rejuvenate your relationship and deepen your connection.

Focus on each other, not your phone: Put the phones away, leave the kids with someone you trust, and take time for each other.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Learn more about Sylvia's Thrive Marriage Coaching. 

Get Dana's new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples

 

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

Do you feel disconnected or emotionally distant from your spouse? You're likely growing apart or feeling apathy in your relationship and want to know how to stop the drift. Today, I'm sharing some key insights and actionable steps to help you start rebuilding connection—even when things feel hopeless or aloof.

I’ll break down the major causes of apathy in marriage and relationships—from emotional wounding and exhaustion to fear and misunderstanding—and I’ll share practical, actionable steps to start rebuilding your connection right now. Whether you’ve taken my scientifically-backed Partner Quiz and scored “apathetically aloof,” or you simply recognize the signs of emotional detachment, you’ll find encouragement and hope in this episode.

I talk about the importance of vulnerability, having hard conversations, and the monumental power of forgiveness in making real progress. You’ll also hear how focusing on reconnection (instead of just fixing problems!) can reignite your emotional intimacy. Plus, I highlight simple resources like my online connection course, designed to fit into busy lives and help you move forward with confidence.

If you’re ready to move away from apathy and toward authentic connection, this episode will give you the tools and motivation to start. Don’t give up on your marriage—there is always a path back to hope and intimacy!

Key Takeaways: 

• Apathy Isn’t the End—It’s a Symptom: If you’re feeling apathetic, it’s often the result of past wounds, exhaustion, or fear. You’re not a bad partner; you’re likely protecting yourself after being hurt.

• Someone Has to Go First: Rebuilding connection takes courage. If you’re listening, “tag, you’re it!” Initiate the conversation. Vulnerability opens the door to marital healing.

• Forgiveness & Intentionality Rekindle Relationships: Focusing on reconnecting (instead of just the problems) and practicing forgiveness can transform your relationship. Go back to the habits and rhythms that made your relationship thrive in the first place.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

• Take the Partner Quiz to see how connected you really are.

• Sign up for my Connection Course 

• Get my new book, Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples  

Listen, share, and start rebuilding with me—because your marriage can make it!

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Valentine’s Day is almost here, and for many people, this holiday doesn’t always feel like a celebration, especially if you’re feeling disconnected or discouraged. You are definitely not alone—and this episode is packed with practical ideas you may have never considered to help you reconnect on Valentine's Day and beyond.

Here's your cheat code for making Valentine’s Day meaningful, even when times are tough:

1. Lighten the Load with Laughter

2. Spend Time with Your Little Loves

3. Face the Elephant in the Room

4. Do Something Different

5. Love Anyway 

Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be about big gifts or grand gestures. Remember, it’s the little things. The goal? Intentionally choose connection, even if it’s awkward, imperfect, or different from years before.

Which tip will YOU try this year?
Drop your answer below or DM @MrsDanaChe to share your story! Let’s make this Valentine’s Day a turning point in your marriage. 

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my new book: Tried and True: Marriage Advice from 12 Imperfect Biblical Couples 

 

Follow Dana Che on the socials! 

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Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review! 

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.