Relationship therapist and couples coach Ellen Boeder joins us to explore the intersection of attachment, power dynamics, and secure functioning in partnerships. We discuss how power imbalances can emerge in relationships, the difference between secure and insecure functioning, and how couples can cultivate true mutuality. 

“The Art Of We” podcast with Krista Van Derveer and Dr. Will Van Derveer

(00:00) Why secure functioning matters in relationships

(03:26) What defines secure vs. insecure relationships? 

(06:22) How power struggles emerge in insecure relationships

(09:37) Three key factors that shape relationship dynamics

(13:20) The role of trust, safety, and confidence in a secure partnership

(16:29) Why repair is the key to lasting security in relationships

(19:12) How resentment builds over time

(22:03) How unresolved relationship struggles affect personal growth

(26:41) Unspoken power dynamics: How to recognize and address them

(30:55) The difference between equity and equality in partnerships

(33:11) Why agreements are essential for long-term success

(36:04) Building a secure relationship with yourself as a foundation for partnership

(38:23) Final thoughts: The power of conscious relationship modeling

Reach out with your thoughts, experiences, and topics you want to hear about. We love hearing from our listeners!

Resources Mentioned: 

• Our Top 10 Relationship Agreements 
• Therapist & Coach Ellen Boeder
• Ellen Boeder on Substack

Get in Touch: 

• The Art Of We Website
• The Art of We Instagram 
• Integrative Psychiatry Institute: Psychedelic Therapy Training

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