Fly with Lily

12 A not-so-nice Couchsurfing experience in Nice, France


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The world is more beautiful than the world wide web. 現實世界比互聯網要美妙多了。
My wish was actually really simple, which is to see the world with my own eyes. During this Eurail trip, I used Couchsurfing to save money and experience local cultures on a deeper level. I stayed and met up with around twenty Couchsurfing hosts in these two months. In my Couchsurfing profile, I specifically stated that I didn’t use Couchsurfing to date. I published my schedule for this trip and I had received around a hundred offers to stay.
我的願望很簡單,就是用我的腳步去丈量這個世界, 在這次環歐旅行中,我試著要省錢和為了體驗更多的文化嘗試了沙發客的體驗!這兩個月的火車行我總共經歷了19個不同地方當沙發客的體驗,在我的沙發衝浪檔案里,我都會特別強調,我不是用沙發衝浪來約會的,我將我兩個月的行程公開後,收到了將近上百封的住宿邀約!
You could see their past hosting experiences and the references left by guests on the hosts’ profile. So I tried to find the hosts with nice reviews and those who could offer a spare room. I would say most of the experiences have been great, but there were a few ones which I found a bit uncomfortable. I’ll share one today. I will also bring up a few questions at the end of the episode  which I hope will get you thinking. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas, so please share them!
在每個沙發主人的檔案上,你可以看得到他們過去接待的經驗還有沙發客留下的評價。我盡量挑選親切的留言、有良好評價,還有可以提供獨立房間的沙發主。我得說這次歐洲沙發的冒險體驗大多都是非常美好的,然而有少數幾個讓我感覺不是太舒服的,今天我就來分享一個吧!我也在節目最後提出了幾個問題希望你們也可以思考一下或告訴我你是怎麼想的。
After a couple of days sorting my stuff in Barcelona, I took a flight to Nice to continue my Eurail journey. My couchsurfing host in Nice, France, who had lived there about 9 years with his family. His apartment was centrally located and it was perfect for my next journeys to Monaco and Geneva. I felt really lucky! During the time staying with him, there were also two couchsurfers from Kazakhstan sharing the apartment. It turned out we were going to the same travel conference those days too. I didn’t know those girls very well, but they seemed really friendly. The host was also lovely and helpful. However, those days the host often complained to me in private that he felt used when the girls had the breakfast he offered and never asked to wash the dishes or cook anything back. He never said anything right in front of them, though. I felt a bit uncomfortable about the situation and offered to make dumplings and buy lunch to compensate even though I was out of their interactions. I was trying to be a good guest however became somewhat uneasy living in his place as the week went on. It seemed that my efforts were interpreted the wrong way as some kind of romantic spark and some comments became uncomfortably flirtatious. I sincerely thought the host was a very gracious and nice person. However, in the end, I felt relieved when I finally left his place.
在回去巴塞羅那處理我的東西之後,我又飛到尼斯繼續我的環歐火車之旅。在法國尼斯的沙發主和他家人住在法國九年了。他的公寓就在市中心,所以對我接下來的要去摩納哥還有日內瓦(瑞士)的火車旅行會非常的方便。我感到很幸運!在他家住宿的那段時間,還有兩位來自哈薩克斯坦的女孩,因為我們同樣是參加俱樂部在歐洲的旅行大會,共享了他的公寓。我不是很認識這兩個女生,但是她們人看起來非常友善。沙發主人也是非常的好客和熱心的主人。然而,他則在那幾天一直在私底下和我抱怨這兩個女生,吃他的喝他的,也沒有做飯來回饋他。我則為了補償他為他做了餃子還有買午餐。即使我和他的互動不是像他們和沙發主那樣子,住在他家我還是感覺有點不自在,因為我試著要當一個好客人,然而他以為我們之間有浪漫的火花,在我待的那周言語中有點挑逗。我真的覺得這個沙發主是個很好客的好人,然而,在終於離開他的地方,我真的覺得解脫了。
It got me thinking about a couple of questions, which I still don’t have conclusive answers to. I would be interested to hear other people’s views.
這件事讓我想了好多問題,到現在我都沒有確切的答案,我很好奇,也想聽聽其他人的意見。
What is appropriate behavior for the host and the guest? Is it the same across cultures and  how could we objectively understand the meaning behind words and actions? If a guest feels uncomfortable with something they see or with something they experience in a host’s place, is it appropriate to challenge this and if so, how? When we write a reference about an experience do we have a responsibility to write it only from our perspective or should we think about how other people might feel in that situation.
到底什麼是對於沙發主人和客人適當的行為呢?在不同的文化是一樣准則的嗎?我們要怎麼客觀的去理解話語和行為背後的意思呢?如果一個客人對於看到的某件事或他們在主人家裡體驗到感到不舒服的話,去拿出這件事來挑戰對方是不是適當的事情呢?那應該怎麼做了?還有我們需不需為對方寫這件事的評價負責任?在寫的時候我們是完全用我
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