Counseling is incredibly valuable. Jason and Lauren are huge proponents of marriage counseling, coaching and investing in marriage in a way that invites outside input from experts who can give great feedback to help couples grow in their connection. But it’s so common for couples to spend years in sessions and workshops and retreats without ever experiencing lasting breakthrough. Why? Because no matter how good the tools are, they don’t work if certain foundations aren’t in place.

In this episode, pastors and coaches Jason and Lauren Vallotton unpack some of the hidden reasons couples stay stuck—even with professional help—and how to create the kind of environment where real change is possible.

They explore:

• Why solving problems without first building connection is like trying to spend from an empty bank account.
  
  
• How misdiagnosing root issues keeps couples treating the wrong thing—and stuck in painful cycles.
  
  
• Why communication tools and boundaries fail if you don’t understand your actual relational cycle.
  
  
• How “making things fair” in sessions can unintentionally block radical ownership—something both spouses need in order to break patterns.
  
  
• Why safety is the soil for growth, and how tools can feel like weapons if emotional safety isn’t present.
  
  
• The importance of “turning toward” your spouse and focusing on one clear target at a time.

This conversation offers fresh perspective and practical guidance for anyone longing for deeper transformation in their marriage.

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For information on the Marriage Intensive and other resources, go to jasonandlaurenvallotton.com !

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